I like the following:
Sam + Booze + Texas +.... okay, well that's what I love, but it's pretty fucking awesome, is it not?
Brb, going to retrieve Arnold and Sam and my smokes.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
AZ, WUT UP!?
I'M IN ARIZONA BITCHES!!! If anyone cares!
Less than four hours and I'll be with SAMSAMSAMSAM and soon JAMANJAMANJAMAN. I love my lifeeeeeeeeeee! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Less than four hours and I'll be with SAMSAMSAMSAM and soon JAMANJAMANJAMAN. I love my lifeeeeeeeeeee! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
This is a good imitation of the blues
Has anyone told you they missed you lately?
Yes, so cute! :)
What are you doing Saturday?
I'LL BE IN TEXAS!!! With Sam, apparently drinking at some country bar! HELL. YES.
What's the last song you listened to?
Glory Box - Portishead. I wish I wasn't so damn addicted to this song.
Who is the last person to send you a msg?
A message? What kind of message. If it's via Facebook, than Alex.
Who were the last three people to text your phone?
HAHAHAHAHAHAH, I don't remember, its been so long.
Do you think long distance relationships work out?
I don't know, I've never had to make one work. I think if two people are meant to work out, they'll find a way.
Does anyone disgust you?
A few people. AAHAHAHAHAHA.
What's something you can't wait for?
TEXASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Omfg, soooo soon!
Is anything bothering you?
I'm kinda lonely right now. It's whatever though.
Are you talking to anyone while doing this? Who?
No :( Why are all of you assholes sleeping?
When you say you don't care do you mean it?
Most of the time, I really don't care. But there are those times where I say I don't care and tears immedietely form in my eyes, it's awful.
Think back to yesterday, what were you doing?
Camping, driving home from camping... that's basically it.
Do you enjoy family get togethers?
Sometimes. I enjoy them more now than I used to.
Are you keeping a secret?
Everyone has a secret, therefore, yes, I am keeping a secret and I'll never tell.
Did you laugh a lot at something today?
Not really actually, today was really boring.
Has someone smacked your butt in the past week?
Yes. HAHA.
Your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't around but their phone is, do you look through it?
I made that mistake once and from now on in, I'd rather NOT know.
What if they went through yours?
I'm a pretty open person. There was once a couple texts that were questionable, but we weren't officially dating or anything.
I bet you miss someone?
I do miss lots of people. Sometimes life happens though and people grow apart.
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Kind of... maybe :) Texas makes me smile!
Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world?
At LEAST one right person. Actually, I believe that there is one PERFECT person for you and a few other people whow definitely fit the description of Mr. Right.
When you're sick or sad, do you want to be alone or do you want someone?
I want someone there for me...but I don't want them being annoying.
Last time you talked on the phone?
Tonight, a few hours ago.
How long where you on the phone for?
Five minutes maybe.
What would you do if someone called you handsome/beautiful?
Say thanks and blush
Did you know that you can't kill yourself by holding your breath?
Hmmmm, let me try!
What is something that you realized today?
Simple things make me happy and I love it!
Who was the first person you talked to today?
I don't know...Sam, maybe?
Do you smoke weed everyday?
Negative. I haven't done drugs in a VERY long time.
Who is your favorite person to talk to when you’re down?
Nikki, she understands me way too well.
Do you miss the way things used to be?
At times. I miss being young and stupid. I didn't give a damn about what someone thought of me. If people had an insult to throw at me, I had 3 more to throw back at them. I was fun, not shy in any way and everyday was a new experience.
Are you a patient person?
I try and be but sometimes I get too excited or on the flip side, too freaking bored.
How's your heart lately?
Good, but slightly torn.
When was the last time you cried?
A couple Saturday's ago.
Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Garage clothing.
Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope.
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Hopefully...
My auntie Cindy, my friends.
Who is your last text from?
Hell if I know.
What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Sleeping...I was on my 5th hour of sleep to be exact.
What's the last thing you bought?
I did a lot of shopping today...but to get technical... a pack of smokes from 7-11
Last person you gave a hug to (not family)?
Nikki
What do you hear right now?
Gone Country - Alan Jackson
Where's your phone right now?
My bedroom... or something.
How are you feeling?
Tired and bored and restless.
Think of the last time you were REALLY angry when was it?
Yesterday... kind of, I guess. My memory SUCKS apparently.
Name something you are doing tonight?
It's 1:30am, I'm not doing ANYTHING.
Will tomorrow be better than today?
Hopefully, I want to be productive tomorrow. Gym. Haircut. Pack...etc
Honestly has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
Yep.
Who else is in the room with you?
No one, I'm by myself just hangin' out
How is your hair right now?
Crazy, I let it dry when I got out of the shower
Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
Fuck. No.
What did you do today?
Went shopping, walked my dog, that's it pretty much.
Did you speak to your mother today?
Sure did. I showed her the pretty bathing suit I bought!
Is it easy to make you cry?
YES...UGHHHHH I HATE ITTTT.
Have you told anybody you loved them today?
No, I haven't... I don't think so anyways. Maybe Sam or Megan but that's it.
Do you take walks often?
I walk my dog every single day <3
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Nikki.
Who was the last person you talked to last night before you fell asleep?
That is a secretttt :)
Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
No, I would kill people that called me in the middle of the night.
Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Not a best friend, but a lot of really amazing good friends.
Is your bedroom window open?
No.
What a weird freaking way to end this survey thing! Hmmm, so weird.
I'm tired. Must sleep, I think. That way, tomorrow I can be productive.
Yes, so cute! :)
What are you doing Saturday?
I'LL BE IN TEXAS!!! With Sam, apparently drinking at some country bar! HELL. YES.
What's the last song you listened to?
Glory Box - Portishead. I wish I wasn't so damn addicted to this song.
Who is the last person to send you a msg?
A message? What kind of message. If it's via Facebook, than Alex.
Who were the last three people to text your phone?
HAHAHAHAHAHAH, I don't remember, its been so long.
Do you think long distance relationships work out?
I don't know, I've never had to make one work. I think if two people are meant to work out, they'll find a way.
Does anyone disgust you?
A few people. AAHAHAHAHAHA.
What's something you can't wait for?
TEXASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Omfg, soooo soon!
Is anything bothering you?
I'm kinda lonely right now. It's whatever though.
Are you talking to anyone while doing this? Who?
No :( Why are all of you assholes sleeping?
When you say you don't care do you mean it?
Most of the time, I really don't care. But there are those times where I say I don't care and tears immedietely form in my eyes, it's awful.
Think back to yesterday, what were you doing?
Camping, driving home from camping... that's basically it.
Do you enjoy family get togethers?
Sometimes. I enjoy them more now than I used to.
Are you keeping a secret?
Everyone has a secret, therefore, yes, I am keeping a secret and I'll never tell.
Did you laugh a lot at something today?
Not really actually, today was really boring.
Has someone smacked your butt in the past week?
Yes. HAHA.
Your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't around but their phone is, do you look through it?
I made that mistake once and from now on in, I'd rather NOT know.
What if they went through yours?
I'm a pretty open person. There was once a couple texts that were questionable, but we weren't officially dating or anything.
I bet you miss someone?
I do miss lots of people. Sometimes life happens though and people grow apart.
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Kind of... maybe :) Texas makes me smile!
Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world?
At LEAST one right person. Actually, I believe that there is one PERFECT person for you and a few other people whow definitely fit the description of Mr. Right.
When you're sick or sad, do you want to be alone or do you want someone?
I want someone there for me...but I don't want them being annoying.
Last time you talked on the phone?
Tonight, a few hours ago.
How long where you on the phone for?
Five minutes maybe.
What would you do if someone called you handsome/beautiful?
Say thanks and blush
Did you know that you can't kill yourself by holding your breath?
Hmmmm, let me try!
What is something that you realized today?
Simple things make me happy and I love it!
Who was the first person you talked to today?
I don't know...Sam, maybe?
Do you smoke weed everyday?
Negative. I haven't done drugs in a VERY long time.
Who is your favorite person to talk to when you’re down?
Nikki, she understands me way too well.
Do you miss the way things used to be?
At times. I miss being young and stupid. I didn't give a damn about what someone thought of me. If people had an insult to throw at me, I had 3 more to throw back at them. I was fun, not shy in any way and everyday was a new experience.
Are you a patient person?
I try and be but sometimes I get too excited or on the flip side, too freaking bored.
How's your heart lately?
Good, but slightly torn.
When was the last time you cried?
A couple Saturday's ago.
Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Garage clothing.
Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope.
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Hopefully...
My auntie Cindy, my friends.
Who is your last text from?
Hell if I know.
What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Sleeping...I was on my 5th hour of sleep to be exact.
What's the last thing you bought?
I did a lot of shopping today...but to get technical... a pack of smokes from 7-11
Last person you gave a hug to (not family)?
Nikki
What do you hear right now?
Gone Country - Alan Jackson
Where's your phone right now?
My bedroom... or something.
How are you feeling?
Tired and bored and restless.
Think of the last time you were REALLY angry when was it?
Yesterday... kind of, I guess. My memory SUCKS apparently.
Name something you are doing tonight?
It's 1:30am, I'm not doing ANYTHING.
Will tomorrow be better than today?
Hopefully, I want to be productive tomorrow. Gym. Haircut. Pack...etc
Honestly has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
Yep.
Who else is in the room with you?
No one, I'm by myself just hangin' out
How is your hair right now?
Crazy, I let it dry when I got out of the shower
Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
Fuck. No.
What did you do today?
Went shopping, walked my dog, that's it pretty much.
Did you speak to your mother today?
Sure did. I showed her the pretty bathing suit I bought!
Is it easy to make you cry?
YES...UGHHHHH I HATE ITTTT.
Have you told anybody you loved them today?
No, I haven't... I don't think so anyways. Maybe Sam or Megan but that's it.
Do you take walks often?
I walk my dog every single day <3
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Nikki.
Who was the last person you talked to last night before you fell asleep?
That is a secretttt :)
Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
No, I would kill people that called me in the middle of the night.
Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Not a best friend, but a lot of really amazing good friends.
Is your bedroom window open?
No.
What a weird freaking way to end this survey thing! Hmmm, so weird.
I'm tired. Must sleep, I think. That way, tomorrow I can be productive.
Monday, July 20, 2009
CAN'T.STOP.LISTENING.
I listened to this song for the first time last night and although it sounded really familiar, I'm sure I haven't heard it anywhere before.
Anyways, I'M OBSESSED.
There is something in the melody and the words and her voice that I can't figure it out, but it gives me butterflies.
Anyways, I'M OBSESSED.
There is something in the melody and the words and her voice that I can't figure it out, but it gives me butterflies.
You're a boy and I'm a girl
THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY.
(Lets see if you can get through it. If not; you're too scared about your past)
- How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you? 1
- Have you ever thought you're going to marry the person you were with? Yes
- Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? Yes
- Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes
- Are you happier single or in a relationship? I am learning to be happy single. It's definitely not the end of the world like I once thought it was.
- Have you ever been cheated on? If I have, that person hasn't confessed.
- Have you ever had your heart broken? In the heat of the moment, it felt like it, but in the long run, no.
- Have you ever broken someone's heart? I hope not.
- Talk to any of your ex's? Yep
- Think any of your ex's feel the same way about you the way they did when you were dating? Yep. Ugh.
- Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? I think I'm a good girlfriend. I have flaws and I can get on people's nerves but that comes with the territory.
- Have you dated people who were not good to you? No, I've dated people who have had moments of weakness but overall, they were great.
- Have you been in an abusive relationship? No. Eff that.
- Have you dated someone older then you? Yes
- Dated someone younger then you? Yes
- Do you regret anything that you have or haven't done with a boyfriend or girlfriend? No regrets... there are certain things that I ponder or I might have been MORE happy if they went a certain way but I'm still alive and happy, so there is nothing that I really want to take back.
- Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? That's an open ended question. I think the majority of the world with good intentions, deserves a second chance. But if you live life with the intent to harm another person be it physically, mentally or emotionally...sometimes, your realization that you want a do over comes too late...and FUCK YOU.
- Believe in love at first sight? Nope, just lust. How can you base love on a glance?
- Ever dated two people at once? No.
- Ever been given an Engagement ring? No, just a promise ring.
- Do you have something to say to any of your ex's? Not really.
- Ever stolen someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend? Nope
- Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend? I've thought they were cute but I've never developed hard feelings.
- Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? If you've never had your heart broken or experienced a breakup with someone that you truly loved, then you can't possibly begin to understand the feeling. It's worse than it sounds.
LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Jessica Nicole Miller
Birth date: May 24 1988
Current Location: Home sweet home...aka under my parents roof
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Dark brown with random purpley/pink in it.
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your fears: Dying or getting old before I've done the things I want to do. Living life alone, ladybugs, the future...
Your weakness: Slurpees and that half smile that a guy gives you... drool.
Your perfect pizza: ham, pineapple, green peppers, mushrooms.
Goal you'd like to achieve: Step foot on every continent.
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts first waking up: "Where the fuck is a clock so I can figure out the time?"
Your best physical feature: My... I don't know damn it.
Your bedtime: lately... between 3 and 6am, before it was around 1am
Your most missed memory: Junior High...ALL OF IT
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
Single or group dates: Group dates
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Eh, I don't really care.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither. Fuck. Ew.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: Yes.
Cuss: Way too much. It gets me in trouble.
Take a shower: Every night usually.
Like school: I enjoyed school for the most part.
Do you believe in yourself: To an extent.
Think you're a health freak: I wish.
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Gone to the mall: Yes.
Been on stage: Nope.
Eaten Sushi: Nope
Gone skating: No haha
Dyed your hair: Yea.
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a stripping game: Yes
Gotten beaten up: No.
Changed who you were to fit in: Probably, when I was a lot younger.
LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD
Age your hoping to be married: To be honest, not really. I'm more or less looking for someone to love. If marriage plays a part, so be it.
LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY
Best eye color: I don't notice eyes. green, brown, blue, it's whatever.
Best hair color: Darker hair... brown
Short or long hair: I like short for the most part...shaved heads make me drool but on occasion, I find myself being STUPIDLY attracted to a guy with long hair and I can't figure it out.
LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING
1 MINUTE AGO: This survey, obviously
1 HOUR AGO: Getting home from the mall
1 WEEK AGO: Nothing... walking my dog and showering haha
1 MONTH AGO: Getting ready for FORKS, WA!!! <3
1 YEAR AGO: Living with Alex, working my butt off
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE
I FEEL: like I should walk my dog, shower and put my laundry away...and pack
I HATE: that time of the month, not having a job, not being in TX with Sam RIGHT NOW
I HIDE: my feelings... A LOT, especially the ones that make me vulnerable.
I NEED: to cuddle up with someone and watch an awesome movie!
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS... my boredom
(Lets see if you can get through it. If not; you're too scared about your past)
- How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you? 1
- Have you ever thought you're going to marry the person you were with? Yes
- Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? Yes
- Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes
- Are you happier single or in a relationship? I am learning to be happy single. It's definitely not the end of the world like I once thought it was.
- Have you ever been cheated on? If I have, that person hasn't confessed.
- Have you ever had your heart broken? In the heat of the moment, it felt like it, but in the long run, no.
- Have you ever broken someone's heart? I hope not.
- Talk to any of your ex's? Yep
- Think any of your ex's feel the same way about you the way they did when you were dating? Yep. Ugh.
- Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? I think I'm a good girlfriend. I have flaws and I can get on people's nerves but that comes with the territory.
- Have you dated people who were not good to you? No, I've dated people who have had moments of weakness but overall, they were great.
- Have you been in an abusive relationship? No. Eff that.
- Have you dated someone older then you? Yes
- Dated someone younger then you? Yes
- Do you regret anything that you have or haven't done with a boyfriend or girlfriend? No regrets... there are certain things that I ponder or I might have been MORE happy if they went a certain way but I'm still alive and happy, so there is nothing that I really want to take back.
- Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? That's an open ended question. I think the majority of the world with good intentions, deserves a second chance. But if you live life with the intent to harm another person be it physically, mentally or emotionally...sometimes, your realization that you want a do over comes too late...and FUCK YOU.
- Believe in love at first sight? Nope, just lust. How can you base love on a glance?
- Ever dated two people at once? No.
- Ever been given an Engagement ring? No, just a promise ring.
- Do you have something to say to any of your ex's? Not really.
- Ever stolen someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend? Nope
- Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend? I've thought they were cute but I've never developed hard feelings.
- Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? If you've never had your heart broken or experienced a breakup with someone that you truly loved, then you can't possibly begin to understand the feeling. It's worse than it sounds.
LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Jessica Nicole Miller
Birth date: May 24 1988
Current Location: Home sweet home...aka under my parents roof
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Dark brown with random purpley/pink in it.
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your fears: Dying or getting old before I've done the things I want to do. Living life alone, ladybugs, the future...
Your weakness: Slurpees and that half smile that a guy gives you... drool.
Your perfect pizza: ham, pineapple, green peppers, mushrooms.
Goal you'd like to achieve: Step foot on every continent.
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts first waking up: "Where the fuck is a clock so I can figure out the time?"
Your best physical feature: My... I don't know damn it.
Your bedtime: lately... between 3 and 6am, before it was around 1am
Your most missed memory: Junior High...ALL OF IT
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
Single or group dates: Group dates
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Eh, I don't really care.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither. Fuck. Ew.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: Yes.
Cuss: Way too much. It gets me in trouble.
Take a shower: Every night usually.
Like school: I enjoyed school for the most part.
Do you believe in yourself: To an extent.
Think you're a health freak: I wish.
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Gone to the mall: Yes.
Been on stage: Nope.
Eaten Sushi: Nope
Gone skating: No haha
Dyed your hair: Yea.
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a stripping game: Yes
Gotten beaten up: No.
Changed who you were to fit in: Probably, when I was a lot younger.
LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD
Age your hoping to be married: To be honest, not really. I'm more or less looking for someone to love. If marriage plays a part, so be it.
LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY
Best eye color: I don't notice eyes. green, brown, blue, it's whatever.
Best hair color: Darker hair... brown
Short or long hair: I like short for the most part...shaved heads make me drool but on occasion, I find myself being STUPIDLY attracted to a guy with long hair and I can't figure it out.
LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING
1 MINUTE AGO: This survey, obviously
1 HOUR AGO: Getting home from the mall
1 WEEK AGO: Nothing... walking my dog and showering haha
1 MONTH AGO: Getting ready for FORKS, WA!!! <3
1 YEAR AGO: Living with Alex, working my butt off
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE
I FEEL: like I should walk my dog, shower and put my laundry away...and pack
I HATE: that time of the month, not having a job, not being in TX with Sam RIGHT NOW
I HIDE: my feelings... A LOT, especially the ones that make me vulnerable.
I NEED: to cuddle up with someone and watch an awesome movie!
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS... my boredom
Cold Case File #4937
There is a gangster ghost living in my bathroom...
You know when you get out of the shower and it's all steamy and you can write things in the mirror? Wellllll, when I got out of the shower there was a big huge "MONEY" sign that was previously drawn into the mirror when it was steamy. WTF, I'm the only person who uses that bathroom and I never stopped to think about drawing some gangster shit in my bathroom mirror... sooo yea, AWKWARD. I like to draw hearts and shit but what girl doesn't???
Help me solve this mystery.
:)
You know when you get out of the shower and it's all steamy and you can write things in the mirror? Wellllll, when I got out of the shower there was a big huge "MONEY" sign that was previously drawn into the mirror when it was steamy. WTF, I'm the only person who uses that bathroom and I never stopped to think about drawing some gangster shit in my bathroom mirror... sooo yea, AWKWARD. I like to draw hearts and shit but what girl doesn't???
Help me solve this mystery.
:)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
La-la-la-listen up!
I really dislike you. I'm not gonna lie. And I'm pretty sick of your shit. So you better not look in my direction or say anything that might be directed to me at TwiCon, or else you're probably going to see me be the biggest bitch of your life. Kthx, bed time now.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Take Me To The Magic Of The Moment
STAMPEDE POSTTTTTTT
So I went to the Calgary Stampede on Thursday and Friday and Saturday. Basically, the Stampede is a MASSIVE outdoor show all set in a country/western theme. There is a HUGE midway, a child's midway, a building where all the big expensive concerts take place, a few other stages and then things like chuckwagon races and the bull riding and all that fun stuff. They also have beer gardens and casino's for anyone wanting to get trashed.
I basically just think of Stampede as one big shit show! It's everyone's excuse that they are ALLOWED to act like complete and total fucking morons for 10 days. I want to remind them that...NO, NO THEY ARE NOT!
Thursday's night adventure down to the grounds was so-so. It was pouring rain all night so we were confined to be inside. Considering the Stampede is an outdoor show, you could see how that would pose problems. There are lots of buildings, but the fun can usually be found outside. We ended up at the casino for a large part of the night. I had a couple drinks, played a couple games, just hung around. All in all, it wasn't that interesting of an evening.
Pictures? Sure!
I was going to talk about the Stampede more in depth but I've given up.
Moving on... I'm not gonna lie, I started this blog a week ago, how sad is that? I'm going camping in like.... 3 hours and I'm not packed, I haven't gone to the grocery store and my entire life is BALHAAHHAHAHAHBLBBLBLHA! I give up, Nikki is going to end my life.
Hiyercutemmmkthxbai!
I WANT TO BE WITH MEGAN RIGHT NOW...recreating the Forks epicness. I'm not going to lie, I'm seriously wondering WHAT will top that vacation??? I honestly am not too sure at this point.
Oh, also...I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET TO TEXASSSSSSSSSSS! 12 days in the blistering heat surrounded by bugs and other creepy, crawly things. JOYJOYJOYJOYJOYSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAM
IMSOEXCITEDDANCEDANCEDANCE!!!
I get back from camping, then I have just enough time to pack and FLY AWAY!
Why am I drinking warm diet pepsi right now? I'll tell you why, we have no bottles of water in this house and I refuse to drink tap water. Therefore, I'm stuck with warm DP.
I like being single.
I MIGHT want to find a southern gentlemen, we'll see how convincing Sam is.
I'll settle for an astronaut when I go to NASA, no big deal.
I'm hungry... carrots? I've eaten way too many carrots since Forks...STEP OFF!
I want to get another TATTOO in TEXAS!!!!!! Ideas??? The place that I want tattooed which is the side of my foot, most people won't tattoo it. It angers me, but whatever, I want it.
Nikki and I have 100 dollars worth of alcohol for two nights. It's kind of pathetic. We've got 40oz of Vodka, about 20 coolers and 26oz of Malibu... add the lime juice and diet 7-Up and it's a partyyyyyyy! It's a good thing our food only cost us like... 20 bucks haha.
I've come to accept the fact that 2500 people are attending TwiCon and no matter how much I want to, I'm not going to end up liking every one of those 2500 people. It's whatever...
I have so much american change...damn it
I laugh at how random my blogs are. I seriously just write down whatever pops into the front of my head. Like right now for instance, I want to smoke and listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd. I'm so redneck...WTF???
I really want to move to the states...when? I don't know. SOONIHOPE!
I feel bad for those who were injured or lost loved ones in the hotel bombings in Indonesia. I'm not 100%, but I'm pretty sure my Opa is from Jakarta which is where the bombings took place. Sad times.
I guess I should end this post and go switch my laundry... BUTBUTBUTBUTBUTIDONTWANNAAAAAWHINEWHINEWHINE.
I feel like posting some ballads:
So I went to the Calgary Stampede on Thursday and Friday and Saturday. Basically, the Stampede is a MASSIVE outdoor show all set in a country/western theme. There is a HUGE midway, a child's midway, a building where all the big expensive concerts take place, a few other stages and then things like chuckwagon races and the bull riding and all that fun stuff. They also have beer gardens and casino's for anyone wanting to get trashed.
I basically just think of Stampede as one big shit show! It's everyone's excuse that they are ALLOWED to act like complete and total fucking morons for 10 days. I want to remind them that...NO, NO THEY ARE NOT!
Thursday's night adventure down to the grounds was so-so. It was pouring rain all night so we were confined to be inside. Considering the Stampede is an outdoor show, you could see how that would pose problems. There are lots of buildings, but the fun can usually be found outside. We ended up at the casino for a large part of the night. I had a couple drinks, played a couple games, just hung around. All in all, it wasn't that interesting of an evening.
Pictures? Sure!
I was going to talk about the Stampede more in depth but I've given up.
Moving on... I'm not gonna lie, I started this blog a week ago, how sad is that? I'm going camping in like.... 3 hours and I'm not packed, I haven't gone to the grocery store and my entire life is BALHAAHHAHAHAHBLBBLBLHA! I give up, Nikki is going to end my life.
Hiyercutemmmkthxbai!
I WANT TO BE WITH MEGAN RIGHT NOW...recreating the Forks epicness. I'm not going to lie, I'm seriously wondering WHAT will top that vacation??? I honestly am not too sure at this point.
Oh, also...I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET TO TEXASSSSSSSSSSS! 12 days in the blistering heat surrounded by bugs and other creepy, crawly things. JOYJOYJOYJOYJOYSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAM
IMSOEXCITEDDANCEDANCEDANCE!!!
I get back from camping, then I have just enough time to pack and FLY AWAY!
Why am I drinking warm diet pepsi right now? I'll tell you why, we have no bottles of water in this house and I refuse to drink tap water. Therefore, I'm stuck with warm DP.
I like being single.
I MIGHT want to find a southern gentlemen, we'll see how convincing Sam is.
I'll settle for an astronaut when I go to NASA, no big deal.
I'm hungry... carrots? I've eaten way too many carrots since Forks...STEP OFF!
I want to get another TATTOO in TEXAS!!!!!! Ideas??? The place that I want tattooed which is the side of my foot, most people won't tattoo it. It angers me, but whatever, I want it.
Nikki and I have 100 dollars worth of alcohol for two nights. It's kind of pathetic. We've got 40oz of Vodka, about 20 coolers and 26oz of Malibu... add the lime juice and diet 7-Up and it's a partyyyyyyy! It's a good thing our food only cost us like... 20 bucks haha.
I've come to accept the fact that 2500 people are attending TwiCon and no matter how much I want to, I'm not going to end up liking every one of those 2500 people. It's whatever...
I have so much american change...damn it
I laugh at how random my blogs are. I seriously just write down whatever pops into the front of my head. Like right now for instance, I want to smoke and listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd. I'm so redneck...WTF???
I really want to move to the states...when? I don't know. SOONIHOPE!
I feel bad for those who were injured or lost loved ones in the hotel bombings in Indonesia. I'm not 100%, but I'm pretty sure my Opa is from Jakarta which is where the bombings took place. Sad times.
I guess I should end this post and go switch my laundry... BUTBUTBUTBUTBUTIDONTWANNAAAAAWHINEWHINEWHINE.
I feel like posting some ballads:
Friday, July 10, 2009
Pfft, side ponytail fo sho!!!
IT'S BILLY JOEL DANCE PARTY DAY!
Cheesy 80's music vids and me dancing along ENSUE!
I'm not even kidding you. I've totally left my browser open all day and I've been STUCK on Billy Joel's YouTube page, it's pretty fuckin' sweet.
Aside from that...
Last night I didn't get to sleep till 4:51am...I know, wtf was I doing up that late? The answer is: EVERYTHING. Who doesn't want to watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High at 3am? Plus smoking, surfing the web and eating also happened in that time as well. I woke up at 10 in the freaking morning. Why? Because my mom is a lunatic and she told me - quote un quote - "Jessica Miller, if you don't clean your room, I will go in with a garbage bag and start throwing shit out! As long as you live under my house, you will keep a tidy living space." No joke, that's what she said. Although, I've gotten the garbage bag threat for years now...still, I cleaned anyways so I didn't have to hear my wonderful mother yell anymore. She is pretty wonderful I must say. She is buying my plane ticket to Texas, what more can I ask for?
OMFG, I'm going to Texas. It actually JUST registered in my head today. I mean, I've been to Texas before, but I stayed in a hotel room and did nothing. Now I get to see what Texas is all about! Guns and tractors and mechanical bulls! Sam is taking me to the bar and to NASA.... I must repeat...SAM IS TAKING ME TO NASA. I'm totally going to like...bring my Armageddon dvd and scoop up some rock sand shit from NASA and put it in my case...because, lets face it, SPACE - fucking cool and Armageddon is the sweetest movie ever! Anyone that knows me, knows that I can watch that movie over and over again and never tire of it. So yea, TEXAS, I spent all day saying to myself "am I fucking insane?" Spiders and snakes and other things that I can't even pronounce and handle. I swear to the heavens, I see myself finding a scorpion, walking up, kicking it and then having it get stuck to my foot and stinging me and I die...DEAD, KAPUT. No one said I had to be smart to go. And I mean, I'm pretty smart, I wear a coat when it's below freezing, I know where to buy a bear whistle from for when I go to the mountains, but HELLO...I'm not Texas smart - not at all. I'm going to accidently walk on someone else's property and get shot. We'll see what happens. If you see a blog post on August 5th, you know I've made it outta there alive.
Ummm, I'm wearing my 3 dollar FLOGGING MOLLY tee right now. I took my dog for a walk in it, did a little 80's dancing in it, and now, it's just chilln' I LOVE THIS SHIRT. *nods*
I just put a clear coat on my nails
Megan's shit surrounds me...seriously. It's messed up. I can see a giant picture story thing that she drew/painted for me in Forks...along with 2 paintins, a cd, a birthday card, a letter and a random note thing. I'm also surrounded by Cam Gigandet and Ryan Reynolds. Can life get any better?
This is random but I'll throw it out there anyways. Throughout the whole "race to the U.S. election," it was made clear, that most of the world had "democratic" point of views when it came to the U.S., or just overall favoured Obama. That's fine, he's a good guy, I liked what he had to say and to be honest, it doesn't phase me since I'm not living in America. What gets me is that the media potrayed most of the U.S. as democratic as well and I mean, obviously they did something right if Obama won. Yet, the demographics that they gave when it came to age/race/location/sex blah blah blah, suggested that my friends in America would be pro Obama, yet almost everyone I talk to is a Republican. Some are even die hard Republican's at that. I'M SO CONFUSED PEOPLE. HOW CAN I LIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY IF I DON'T UNDERSTAND???
Moving on, help me understand.
I think I've watched 9 episodes of CSI, CSI:NY or CSI:Miami today. KIDDING, but channel 43 has been on all day today and that's all that has been playing in my background.
I'm being told I fail via facebook because I don't watch the Office. I don't watch half the shows that are popular. I'm sorry. =(. I kinda wanna watch Lost though. I watched a YouTube tribute video to a couple from the show and it intrigued me. The video was the song "GOODBYE MY ALMOST LOVER." It's kind of popular I suppose. I've loved it for quite a while. Here is the video...I picked a fanmade Twilight vid with the song because I honestly think the song would work great in New Moon.
GOODBYE MY ALMOST LOVER
GOODBYE MY HOPELESS DREAM
I'M TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT YOU
CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE?
I WANT TO SEE A DEAR JOHN TRAILER. Argh. I've been waiting for so long... I think Channing Tatum will do fine as John Tyree.
Christmas music is on my television. "that's the jingle bell rockkkkk!"
For some reason, I spend an entire day writing a blog. I just leave the tab open and randomly add shit all day. I think I started this one like over an hour and a half ago.
Now I'm listening to Elton John, but Billy is still first in my life today...don't worry!
I strongly dislike this person who NEVER blogs...she really annoys me.
Oops, time to go to the Stampede...must end this lovely post.
I was going to post shit loads of Billy Joel music BUT you can't embed his YT vids. MONORAIL!
Whatever, just listen to WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE...
Cheesy 80's music vids and me dancing along ENSUE!
I'm not even kidding you. I've totally left my browser open all day and I've been STUCK on Billy Joel's YouTube page, it's pretty fuckin' sweet.
Aside from that...
Last night I didn't get to sleep till 4:51am...I know, wtf was I doing up that late? The answer is: EVERYTHING. Who doesn't want to watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High at 3am? Plus smoking, surfing the web and eating also happened in that time as well. I woke up at 10 in the freaking morning. Why? Because my mom is a lunatic and she told me - quote un quote - "Jessica Miller, if you don't clean your room, I will go in with a garbage bag and start throwing shit out! As long as you live under my house, you will keep a tidy living space." No joke, that's what she said. Although, I've gotten the garbage bag threat for years now...still, I cleaned anyways so I didn't have to hear my wonderful mother yell anymore. She is pretty wonderful I must say. She is buying my plane ticket to Texas, what more can I ask for?
OMFG, I'm going to Texas. It actually JUST registered in my head today. I mean, I've been to Texas before, but I stayed in a hotel room and did nothing. Now I get to see what Texas is all about! Guns and tractors and mechanical bulls! Sam is taking me to the bar and to NASA.... I must repeat...SAM IS TAKING ME TO NASA. I'm totally going to like...bring my Armageddon dvd and scoop up some rock sand shit from NASA and put it in my case...because, lets face it, SPACE - fucking cool and Armageddon is the sweetest movie ever! Anyone that knows me, knows that I can watch that movie over and over again and never tire of it. So yea, TEXAS, I spent all day saying to myself "am I fucking insane?" Spiders and snakes and other things that I can't even pronounce and handle. I swear to the heavens, I see myself finding a scorpion, walking up, kicking it and then having it get stuck to my foot and stinging me and I die...DEAD, KAPUT. No one said I had to be smart to go. And I mean, I'm pretty smart, I wear a coat when it's below freezing, I know where to buy a bear whistle from for when I go to the mountains, but HELLO...I'm not Texas smart - not at all. I'm going to accidently walk on someone else's property and get shot. We'll see what happens. If you see a blog post on August 5th, you know I've made it outta there alive.
Ummm, I'm wearing my 3 dollar FLOGGING MOLLY tee right now. I took my dog for a walk in it, did a little 80's dancing in it, and now, it's just chilln' I LOVE THIS SHIRT. *nods*
I just put a clear coat on my nails
Megan's shit surrounds me...seriously. It's messed up. I can see a giant picture story thing that she drew/painted for me in Forks...along with 2 paintins, a cd, a birthday card, a letter and a random note thing. I'm also surrounded by Cam Gigandet and Ryan Reynolds. Can life get any better?
This is random but I'll throw it out there anyways. Throughout the whole "race to the U.S. election," it was made clear, that most of the world had "democratic" point of views when it came to the U.S., or just overall favoured Obama. That's fine, he's a good guy, I liked what he had to say and to be honest, it doesn't phase me since I'm not living in America. What gets me is that the media potrayed most of the U.S. as democratic as well and I mean, obviously they did something right if Obama won. Yet, the demographics that they gave when it came to age/race/location/sex blah blah blah, suggested that my friends in America would be pro Obama, yet almost everyone I talk to is a Republican. Some are even die hard Republican's at that. I'M SO CONFUSED PEOPLE. HOW CAN I LIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY IF I DON'T UNDERSTAND???
Moving on, help me understand.
I think I've watched 9 episodes of CSI, CSI:NY or CSI:Miami today. KIDDING, but channel 43 has been on all day today and that's all that has been playing in my background.
I'm being told I fail via facebook because I don't watch the Office. I don't watch half the shows that are popular. I'm sorry. =(. I kinda wanna watch Lost though. I watched a YouTube tribute video to a couple from the show and it intrigued me. The video was the song "GOODBYE MY ALMOST LOVER." It's kind of popular I suppose. I've loved it for quite a while. Here is the video...I picked a fanmade Twilight vid with the song because I honestly think the song would work great in New Moon.
GOODBYE MY ALMOST LOVER
GOODBYE MY HOPELESS DREAM
I'M TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT YOU
CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE?
I WANT TO SEE A DEAR JOHN TRAILER. Argh. I've been waiting for so long... I think Channing Tatum will do fine as John Tyree.
Christmas music is on my television. "that's the jingle bell rockkkkk!"
For some reason, I spend an entire day writing a blog. I just leave the tab open and randomly add shit all day. I think I started this one like over an hour and a half ago.
Now I'm listening to Elton John, but Billy is still first in my life today...don't worry!
I strongly dislike this person who NEVER blogs...she really annoys me.
Oops, time to go to the Stampede...must end this lovely post.
I was going to post shit loads of Billy Joel music BUT you can't embed his YT vids. MONORAIL!
Whatever, just listen to WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze!
My dog is snoring and it's the cutest thing of my life! I just want to squeeze her because I love her so freaking much!
I want to clean my room and work out today... WANT being the key word. I'm guessing my lazy self will just continue being lazy though. DAMN IT
I want to clean my room and work out today... WANT being the key word. I'm guessing my lazy self will just continue being lazy though. DAMN IT
Friday, July 3, 2009
I'm Starting With Me!
First of all, be prepared for the longest blog of your life.
This blog will probably be private since I don't want to beat around the bush.
First of all, I just got back from Forks and I must say that I had one of the best times of my entire life. Seriously going in the record books! There aren't enough happy words in the english language to explain how wonderfully happy that trip left me feeling.
First of all: I love Megan with my entire life. Even the part of me that hates her, still wants to cuddle up to her and call her a cunt in a kind, soft voice. Seriously, my life in Forks would have sucked the big one if she wasn't there.
Second of all: Mill Creek Bar owns my life. Do I need to say anymore?
and ummmm.... NAH-HA-HAY-VEY. Yum drool. Yum drool. Yum drool.
Basically the entire trip consisted of eating, sleeping and being drunk...and hey, I can't complain.
It caught me off guard that I would have so much fun, because usually, on vacations it's go, go, go for me. I thought that I would be bored but suprisingly, I wish I were still in Forks, laying in the musty, spider infested motel room. I just want to be back there, hanging out.
You can clearly tell that Thursday night was epic... that is all!
ON ANOTHER NOTE:
Ummm, SAN DIEGO WITH MEGAN IN SEPTEMBER 2009! I had planned for months and months to use one of my days in SoCal to visit Megan, however, it was just decided that I would switch my plane ticket early and stay with her for an extra week! Wonderful, wonderful news. I hope that all goes smoothly because I think that would be an awesome time.
----
So I'm supposed to leave for the craziness that is TwiCon very, very soon. However, my poor, jobless ass, doesn't even have a plane ticket yet. DAMN IT. It's stressing me out. I've been moody and bitchy and probably gaining weight since I'm eating the most random shit ever out of boredom. I'm hoping everything will come through. There is NOTHING more at this point, that I want, than to hang out with Sam for two weeks straight. It's been 9 months in the making. I feel like we've nursed a pregnancy together, hell we kind of have!...It's about damn time we get to stay up till all hours of the night and have a face to face chat instead of just on Skype. I would be extremely happy if I got the chance to see Megan and heck, even Cori too. My entire life wants to hang out with my best friends and do WHATEVER...drink, shop, watch movies, gossip, pig out on junk, etc... I don't want to rely on hanging out with them for 4 days under the pressures of TwiCon, that's why I'm going early. A couple of people have said "wow lucky" and even "isn't that a little long," but in all honesty, what is 14 days out of 365? Not a whole lot. In the countless hours that I've spent talking to Sam, I haven't got sick of her, or wanted to fight with her... she pretty much knows the person I am and HOPEFULLY, I her. She knows I'm stubborn, slightly rude, picky, bitchy, you name it...all of my bad qualities have been "out there" for quite some time. I figured if she had issues, I'd know it by now. I'm hoping I'll be the proud owner of a plane ticket by the end of the week. That way I can figure out what to do for everything else! So much to plan and I'm not nearly ready.
I might be going camping next weekend (17th)...this would mean that I'd have to prepared and packed quite soon! That reminds me, where the heck is my passport? Better find that if I want to go anywhere at all! Sheesh.
So, I just want to put it out there:
This blog, these are my thoughts. Yes, it is public, anyone can read it. I just want to make people aware... if you DO read my blog, I'm not writing this for you. That might sound rude, but it's true. There may be thoughts that I put "OUT THERE" or whatever, but at the end of the day, this is what I do to document how I feel. Sure, I could keep a private journal, but at the same time, sometimes I want people to know my thoughts. There are days I get on the computer and I'm a huge bitch to people, than I realize it later on but I'm too selfish and stubborn to say "hey, look, sorry I was being rude earlier!" Instead, I can just take to my blog and talk about my bad day so that maybe they might stumble here and realize "oh, she was just not having a good day!" My blog is rude, vulgar... it's out there. It's me; that's all. There is a reason that I don't link it to my facebook or my myspace. I don't want my mother to see this, or people that I might have met in the Twilight fandom who I'm not on a personal level with. If you read it and comment, that's fine, I encourage it, I love to hear what people think. If I've offended you, that sucks, you can let me know...but please understand, I did not WAKE UP, think about how I wanted to specifically talk about YOU and try to offend you. If I'm talking about a group of people and you take offense, that's your doing, I didn't put you in that group. There are about 4 people that I don't like and it's public knowledge. I don't give a shit...if they read my blog, well sucks to be them. They should not be that interested in my life anyways. Other than those 4 individuals (and my ex-employer), I don't blog about disliking anyone else. I blog specifically about individuals I like!!!...ramble, ramble, ramble. Basically... just don't take offense to what I say. I'm not going to stop swearing, or ranting about things/people that I don't like.
MOVING ON....
I watched Season 1 of True Blood! Took me less than 24 hours. I can't quite give a review yet because I don't know how I feel. There was no dislike or hate, that's for sure, but I also didn't go 'OMFG, MORE MORE MORE.' I found myself NEEDING to watch the next episode, but not because I fell in love with the characters or the story, but just because I was CURIOUS. It captivated me but not in the usual way. For example, I HATED the long freaking intro that went on forever, yet I never bothered fast forwarding through it because I really enjoyed the twisted song.
"I don't know what you've done to me, but I know this much is true; I wanna do bad things with you!"
I've always wanted to go to Louisiana...and ever since I drove through it in February and found the Alligator heads at the road side convenience store and saw the giant chipped, white wooden crosses off the highway, I've wanted to go MORE! No offense to anyone who might live there and could be reading this (Court), but LA seems SO FUCKED UP... like so southern and out of MY personal "normal." It seems like the epitome of the south to me...not to mention movies and novels have given it such a distinct personality. It's so mysterious and edgy and in a lot of cases, dangerous and scary. I want to go...NOW!
Is it sad that I'm eating 5cent candies as we speak?
I only have 2 smokes left...looks like I'm taking the dog for a walk tomorrow.
Speaking of dog, I love taking her for car rides! However, I am NOT...ever taking her for a walk at 7pm at night again. I took her tonight and there were so many rabid dog and dog owners outside. They were psycho...barking and growling and being a pain in my ass... I like walking my dog at noon or midnight...no one is ever outside!
I'll end this and I promise to pick back up on blogging, look for another long post tomorrow, I have lots to talk about but sleep calls to me!
I'll end it off with a Michael Jackson vid. Yes, he passed away and yes, CNN has been on my TV all day. Although he wasn't my idol and I don't know what he may or may not have done in his life, I can't help but be moved by his memorial service. It does not matter who he was or what he may have done...what matters is what he achieved. Bringing millions together, inspirational lyrics, I can't complain!
This is probably my fave MJ song..
here are the lyrics... you can't tell me that these lyrics don't make you reflect and take a second to think! It's WONDERFUL!
"Man In The Mirror"
I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)
I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.
HAPPY TUESDAY!
PS... I really dislike you and your crazy ways!
This blog will probably be private since I don't want to beat around the bush.
First of all, I just got back from Forks and I must say that I had one of the best times of my entire life. Seriously going in the record books! There aren't enough happy words in the english language to explain how wonderfully happy that trip left me feeling.
First of all: I love Megan with my entire life. Even the part of me that hates her, still wants to cuddle up to her and call her a cunt in a kind, soft voice. Seriously, my life in Forks would have sucked the big one if she wasn't there.
Second of all: Mill Creek Bar owns my life. Do I need to say anymore?
and ummmm.... NAH-HA-HAY-VEY. Yum drool. Yum drool. Yum drool.
Basically the entire trip consisted of eating, sleeping and being drunk...and hey, I can't complain.
It caught me off guard that I would have so much fun, because usually, on vacations it's go, go, go for me. I thought that I would be bored but suprisingly, I wish I were still in Forks, laying in the musty, spider infested motel room. I just want to be back there, hanging out.
You can clearly tell that Thursday night was epic... that is all!
ON ANOTHER NOTE:
Ummm, SAN DIEGO WITH MEGAN IN SEPTEMBER 2009! I had planned for months and months to use one of my days in SoCal to visit Megan, however, it was just decided that I would switch my plane ticket early and stay with her for an extra week! Wonderful, wonderful news. I hope that all goes smoothly because I think that would be an awesome time.
----
So I'm supposed to leave for the craziness that is TwiCon very, very soon. However, my poor, jobless ass, doesn't even have a plane ticket yet. DAMN IT. It's stressing me out. I've been moody and bitchy and probably gaining weight since I'm eating the most random shit ever out of boredom. I'm hoping everything will come through. There is NOTHING more at this point, that I want, than to hang out with Sam for two weeks straight. It's been 9 months in the making. I feel like we've nursed a pregnancy together, hell we kind of have!...It's about damn time we get to stay up till all hours of the night and have a face to face chat instead of just on Skype. I would be extremely happy if I got the chance to see Megan and heck, even Cori too. My entire life wants to hang out with my best friends and do WHATEVER...drink, shop, watch movies, gossip, pig out on junk, etc... I don't want to rely on hanging out with them for 4 days under the pressures of TwiCon, that's why I'm going early. A couple of people have said "wow lucky" and even "isn't that a little long," but in all honesty, what is 14 days out of 365? Not a whole lot. In the countless hours that I've spent talking to Sam, I haven't got sick of her, or wanted to fight with her... she pretty much knows the person I am and HOPEFULLY, I her. She knows I'm stubborn, slightly rude, picky, bitchy, you name it...all of my bad qualities have been "out there" for quite some time. I figured if she had issues, I'd know it by now. I'm hoping I'll be the proud owner of a plane ticket by the end of the week. That way I can figure out what to do for everything else! So much to plan and I'm not nearly ready.
I might be going camping next weekend (17th)...this would mean that I'd have to prepared and packed quite soon! That reminds me, where the heck is my passport? Better find that if I want to go anywhere at all! Sheesh.
So, I just want to put it out there:
This blog, these are my thoughts. Yes, it is public, anyone can read it. I just want to make people aware... if you DO read my blog, I'm not writing this for you. That might sound rude, but it's true. There may be thoughts that I put "OUT THERE" or whatever, but at the end of the day, this is what I do to document how I feel. Sure, I could keep a private journal, but at the same time, sometimes I want people to know my thoughts. There are days I get on the computer and I'm a huge bitch to people, than I realize it later on but I'm too selfish and stubborn to say "hey, look, sorry I was being rude earlier!" Instead, I can just take to my blog and talk about my bad day so that maybe they might stumble here and realize "oh, she was just not having a good day!" My blog is rude, vulgar... it's out there. It's me; that's all. There is a reason that I don't link it to my facebook or my myspace. I don't want my mother to see this, or people that I might have met in the Twilight fandom who I'm not on a personal level with. If you read it and comment, that's fine, I encourage it, I love to hear what people think. If I've offended you, that sucks, you can let me know...but please understand, I did not WAKE UP, think about how I wanted to specifically talk about YOU and try to offend you. If I'm talking about a group of people and you take offense, that's your doing, I didn't put you in that group. There are about 4 people that I don't like and it's public knowledge. I don't give a shit...if they read my blog, well sucks to be them. They should not be that interested in my life anyways. Other than those 4 individuals (and my ex-employer), I don't blog about disliking anyone else. I blog specifically about individuals I like!!!...ramble, ramble, ramble. Basically... just don't take offense to what I say. I'm not going to stop swearing, or ranting about things/people that I don't like.
MOVING ON....
I watched Season 1 of True Blood! Took me less than 24 hours. I can't quite give a review yet because I don't know how I feel. There was no dislike or hate, that's for sure, but I also didn't go 'OMFG, MORE MORE MORE.' I found myself NEEDING to watch the next episode, but not because I fell in love with the characters or the story, but just because I was CURIOUS. It captivated me but not in the usual way. For example, I HATED the long freaking intro that went on forever, yet I never bothered fast forwarding through it because I really enjoyed the twisted song.
"I don't know what you've done to me, but I know this much is true; I wanna do bad things with you!"
I've always wanted to go to Louisiana...and ever since I drove through it in February and found the Alligator heads at the road side convenience store and saw the giant chipped, white wooden crosses off the highway, I've wanted to go MORE! No offense to anyone who might live there and could be reading this (Court), but LA seems SO FUCKED UP... like so southern and out of MY personal "normal." It seems like the epitome of the south to me...not to mention movies and novels have given it such a distinct personality. It's so mysterious and edgy and in a lot of cases, dangerous and scary. I want to go...NOW!
Is it sad that I'm eating 5cent candies as we speak?
I only have 2 smokes left...looks like I'm taking the dog for a walk tomorrow.
Speaking of dog, I love taking her for car rides! However, I am NOT...ever taking her for a walk at 7pm at night again. I took her tonight and there were so many rabid dog and dog owners outside. They were psycho...barking and growling and being a pain in my ass... I like walking my dog at noon or midnight...no one is ever outside!
I'll end this and I promise to pick back up on blogging, look for another long post tomorrow, I have lots to talk about but sleep calls to me!
I'll end it off with a Michael Jackson vid. Yes, he passed away and yes, CNN has been on my TV all day. Although he wasn't my idol and I don't know what he may or may not have done in his life, I can't help but be moved by his memorial service. It does not matter who he was or what he may have done...what matters is what he achieved. Bringing millions together, inspirational lyrics, I can't complain!
This is probably my fave MJ song..
here are the lyrics... you can't tell me that these lyrics don't make you reflect and take a second to think! It's WONDERFUL!
"Man In The Mirror"
I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)
I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.
HAPPY TUESDAY!
PS... I really dislike you and your crazy ways!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Fuck Werk! /end life
1.Where is the person you like right now? I like someone??? Wut? Maybe he is in Tacoma, WA... then I can creep him tomorrow. KIDDING.
2.Last time you consumed alcohol? Saturday night/Sunday morning.
3.What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Sleeping, twas fun!
4.What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Dying of boredom... feck, damn, shit.
5.What are you doing this weekend? Monumental fun times with Megan.... and Ape when she isn't shooting SSIF...EEEEEEEEEEEE *angry squee of excitement*
6.How do you feel about the person who texted you last? I haven't texted in months, so I couldn't tell you. I probably love them though, unless her name starts with a K... then *death stare*
7.Have you ever been around someone who was high? Ummm, yus!
8.Do you like your life as of now? Sure, why not... I'm jobless, bored, lazy... wait, do I sound bitter right now? Kidding, it's whatevs.
9.Last thing you purchased? Ummm, alcohol and smokes...
10.Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are? WORK. FUCK WORK... WORK FUCK WORK... WORK IS GHEY, OH SO GHEY, FUCK BEING GHEY, FUCK WORK. WORK FUCK WORK. Does that explain it?
11.Three words to explain why you last threw up? Alcohol. Drunk. Drive.
12.How's your heart lately? Is this a literal or metaphorical question? Good on about accounts I suppose. *ponders*
13.Where did your last hug take place? My bed!
14.Who was the last person to hold your hand? Alexander
15.Who are all the texts from in your phone? I omit this question. ASSHOLES
16.Did you have a good birthday this year? MOST. EPIC. BIRTHDAY. EVERRRRRRRR. I plan on doing the same thing every year for the rest of my life...or until it's socially unacceptable to look like a hot mess.
17.What did you do? LAS VEGASSSSSSS, YO! Dane Cook + Alcohol + omfgluffluffluff
18.Are you tired right now? Only because I'm bored as hell.
19.How would you feel if your best friend turned out to be gay? I would die of laughter... We already get called lesbians, that would just fuel the fire.
20.Do you chew on your straws? Yes, usually.
21.Have you ever been called a tease? Yes, a couple times, very angry too!
22.Last myspace message from? Eff MySpace, probably some band saying "yo, check us outtttt mang."
23.Do you have curly hair? Straight for the most part. It's got that annoying "wave" thing going on. Death.
24.Who's house were you at last? Mine, before that, Ryan's.
25.What time did you wake up this morning? 9ish...
26.Why did you wake up at that time? Work, why else?
27.What color is your hair? Is nappy a colour?
28.Is there anyone who doesnt like you because of something you didn't do? Of course... assholes.
29.As of today, do you like anyone? No, not really. I think peepz are hot... and friendly and.... yuhh, but I'm not like "omfg, lets go date!"
30.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? NEVER! I think 30ish hours is probably the longest.
31.How many posters do u have? Like... a million, no joke.
32.Last thing you ate? Bread, I'm hungry.
33.Last person you cried over? Alex probably.
34.Do you cry easily? Eff, yes =(
35.Do you have any siblings? One brudder.
36.What should you be doing right now? My job... eh, fuck it.
37.Are you a heavy sleeper? When I'm tired, definitely.
38.What's the last cutest message in your inbox? Pfft, um, I don't know. Maybe April from facebook "I bought you a goodie!" Ummm...YUS!
39.What was the last thing you said? "STAMPEDE, FUCK YA!"
40.When was the last time you drove? I dunno, like a year ago haha.
41.Beer or Liquor? Liquor please. Beer works.
42.Do you have any piercings or tattoos? 10 piercings, 1 tattoo!
43.What are you listening to? I want to be listening to Oasis, unfortunately, all I hear is ladders clanging and static.
44.Do you think its bad to have sex at your age? Definitely, NOT.
45.Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment? No boyfriend for me, I smell funny (kidding).
46.Were you happy when you woke up today? Yes, I was like... "LAST DAY OF WORK... WOOT, so done with assholish bosses!"
47.Who was the last person you ate with? Alex and my mother.
48.What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Vodka and orange juice. Monorail.
49.Do you like tattoos and piercings? Yup! I want moreeeeee.
50.Are you in a good mood? No, not really. My boss just called me, keep in mind that today is my last day...and yelled at me, for no reason other than something that I was apparently doing wrong when he specifically asked me to do what it was that I was apparently doing wrong.
51.Do you want to have kids? Yes, three please.
52.Do you smoke weed regularly? Drugs are bad, folks.
53.Miss anyone? My Uncle James... people that I've lost touch with. =(
54.Have you ever watched a movie drunk? Yes, it puts me to sleep.
55.Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? Yes.
56.Do you believe in true love? Definitely.
57.Do you like to wear sweatpants? Sweatpants own! So comf.
58.Are you wearing them right now? No, I wear'd jeans.
59.Have you ever stolen a sign from a street? YES! So many signs.
60.Are you playing hard to get right now? Hahahaha, ummmm no.
61.Do you miss your past? Everyday of my life.
62.Are you proud of the person you've become? I'm content with who I've become.
63.Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? Are these sharks trained not to eat me? FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD... Jessica is fwend, not food!
64.Has someone smacked your butt in the past week? Yes, ewww, he was so gross... fuck. ANGER!
65.Did you speak to your father today? Yep, he drove me to werk!
66.How good is Coca-Cola? Gross! I hate coke... BARF.
67.When was the last time you cleaned your room? this afternoon
68.Whats the last bone you broke? No broken bones... yuck.
69.Do you drink bottled water? Yes, bottled water FTW, I hate tap water.
70.Have you lost friends in the past years? Unfortunately, yes.
71.What are you doing tonight? Work. Pack. Sleep... in that order.
72.Whens the last time you cried? Last week was pretty rough.
73.When was the last time you hugged someone? This morning.
74.Who was the last person that made you laugh? Nikki.
75.Do you dance in the car? Ask Megan, I am the ULTIMATE car dancer. BREAK IT DOWN.
76.How did you get your last bruise? I dunno, probably doing something DUMB AS FUCK.
77.Whats your favorite season? Spring <3
78.What is your favorite color? Purple!!
79.Do you think you have made a difference in anyones life? Yes, I hope so or else what am I living for?
80.How is your hair? Straight, nappy, ehhhh.
81.Latest you stayed up in the past week? 8am... kill me.
82.Has your mom bought anything in the past 24 hour? Luncheon meat, wonderful mother that she is!
83.Whats the connection between you and the last person you texted? Cell phone questions, fuck my life!
84.Have you ever slept over the opposite sex's house? Yes... haha
85.Last time you ate? 3453 hours ago, I'm starving! No, more like 5 hours ago, I'm still hungry though.
86.Do you hate the last girl you were talking to? Nope!
87.Do you hate the last boy you were talking to on the phone? Definitely not!
2.Last time you consumed alcohol? Saturday night/Sunday morning.
3.What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Sleeping, twas fun!
4.What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Dying of boredom... feck, damn, shit.
5.What are you doing this weekend? Monumental fun times with Megan.... and Ape when she isn't shooting SSIF...EEEEEEEEEEEE *angry squee of excitement*
6.How do you feel about the person who texted you last? I haven't texted in months, so I couldn't tell you. I probably love them though, unless her name starts with a K... then *death stare*
7.Have you ever been around someone who was high? Ummm, yus!
8.Do you like your life as of now? Sure, why not... I'm jobless, bored, lazy... wait, do I sound bitter right now? Kidding, it's whatevs.
9.Last thing you purchased? Ummm, alcohol and smokes...
10.Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are? WORK. FUCK WORK... WORK FUCK WORK... WORK IS GHEY, OH SO GHEY, FUCK BEING GHEY, FUCK WORK. WORK FUCK WORK. Does that explain it?
11.Three words to explain why you last threw up? Alcohol. Drunk. Drive.
12.How's your heart lately? Is this a literal or metaphorical question? Good on about accounts I suppose. *ponders*
13.Where did your last hug take place? My bed!
14.Who was the last person to hold your hand? Alexander
15.Who are all the texts from in your phone? I omit this question. ASSHOLES
16.Did you have a good birthday this year? MOST. EPIC. BIRTHDAY. EVERRRRRRRR. I plan on doing the same thing every year for the rest of my life...or until it's socially unacceptable to look like a hot mess.
17.What did you do? LAS VEGASSSSSSS, YO! Dane Cook + Alcohol + omfgluffluffluff
18.Are you tired right now? Only because I'm bored as hell.
19.How would you feel if your best friend turned out to be gay? I would die of laughter... We already get called lesbians, that would just fuel the fire.
20.Do you chew on your straws? Yes, usually.
21.Have you ever been called a tease? Yes, a couple times, very angry too!
22.Last myspace message from? Eff MySpace, probably some band saying "yo, check us outtttt mang."
23.Do you have curly hair? Straight for the most part. It's got that annoying "wave" thing going on. Death.
24.Who's house were you at last? Mine, before that, Ryan's.
25.What time did you wake up this morning? 9ish...
26.Why did you wake up at that time? Work, why else?
27.What color is your hair? Is nappy a colour?
28.Is there anyone who doesnt like you because of something you didn't do? Of course... assholes.
29.As of today, do you like anyone? No, not really. I think peepz are hot... and friendly and.... yuhh, but I'm not like "omfg, lets go date!"
30.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? NEVER! I think 30ish hours is probably the longest.
31.How many posters do u have? Like... a million, no joke.
32.Last thing you ate? Bread, I'm hungry.
33.Last person you cried over? Alex probably.
34.Do you cry easily? Eff, yes =(
35.Do you have any siblings? One brudder.
36.What should you be doing right now? My job... eh, fuck it.
37.Are you a heavy sleeper? When I'm tired, definitely.
38.What's the last cutest message in your inbox? Pfft, um, I don't know. Maybe April from facebook "I bought you a goodie!" Ummm...YUS!
39.What was the last thing you said? "STAMPEDE, FUCK YA!"
40.When was the last time you drove? I dunno, like a year ago haha.
41.Beer or Liquor? Liquor please. Beer works.
42.Do you have any piercings or tattoos? 10 piercings, 1 tattoo!
43.What are you listening to? I want to be listening to Oasis, unfortunately, all I hear is ladders clanging and static.
44.Do you think its bad to have sex at your age? Definitely, NOT.
45.Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment? No boyfriend for me, I smell funny (kidding).
46.Were you happy when you woke up today? Yes, I was like... "LAST DAY OF WORK... WOOT, so done with assholish bosses!"
47.Who was the last person you ate with? Alex and my mother.
48.What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Vodka and orange juice. Monorail.
49.Do you like tattoos and piercings? Yup! I want moreeeeee.
50.Are you in a good mood? No, not really. My boss just called me, keep in mind that today is my last day...and yelled at me, for no reason other than something that I was apparently doing wrong when he specifically asked me to do what it was that I was apparently doing wrong.
51.Do you want to have kids? Yes, three please.
52.Do you smoke weed regularly? Drugs are bad, folks.
53.Miss anyone? My Uncle James... people that I've lost touch with. =(
54.Have you ever watched a movie drunk? Yes, it puts me to sleep.
55.Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? Yes.
56.Do you believe in true love? Definitely.
57.Do you like to wear sweatpants? Sweatpants own! So comf.
58.Are you wearing them right now? No, I wear'd jeans.
59.Have you ever stolen a sign from a street? YES! So many signs.
60.Are you playing hard to get right now? Hahahaha, ummmm no.
61.Do you miss your past? Everyday of my life.
62.Are you proud of the person you've become? I'm content with who I've become.
63.Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? Are these sharks trained not to eat me? FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD... Jessica is fwend, not food!
64.Has someone smacked your butt in the past week? Yes, ewww, he was so gross... fuck. ANGER!
65.Did you speak to your father today? Yep, he drove me to werk!
66.How good is Coca-Cola? Gross! I hate coke... BARF.
67.When was the last time you cleaned your room? this afternoon
68.Whats the last bone you broke? No broken bones... yuck.
69.Do you drink bottled water? Yes, bottled water FTW, I hate tap water.
70.Have you lost friends in the past years? Unfortunately, yes.
71.What are you doing tonight? Work. Pack. Sleep... in that order.
72.Whens the last time you cried? Last week was pretty rough.
73.When was the last time you hugged someone? This morning.
74.Who was the last person that made you laugh? Nikki.
75.Do you dance in the car? Ask Megan, I am the ULTIMATE car dancer. BREAK IT DOWN.
76.How did you get your last bruise? I dunno, probably doing something DUMB AS FUCK.
77.Whats your favorite season? Spring <3
78.What is your favorite color? Purple!!
79.Do you think you have made a difference in anyones life? Yes, I hope so or else what am I living for?
80.How is your hair? Straight, nappy, ehhhh.
81.Latest you stayed up in the past week? 8am... kill me.
82.Has your mom bought anything in the past 24 hour? Luncheon meat, wonderful mother that she is!
83.Whats the connection between you and the last person you texted? Cell phone questions, fuck my life!
84.Have you ever slept over the opposite sex's house? Yes... haha
85.Last time you ate? 3453 hours ago, I'm starving! No, more like 5 hours ago, I'm still hungry though.
86.Do you hate the last girl you were talking to? Nope!
87.Do you hate the last boy you were talking to on the phone? Definitely not!
Hakuna Matata!
I had a weird dream... again
This time I had met a boy that I really, really liked and he liked me just the same, but before we could start dating, I told him he had to be approved by my best friend. When I woke up it left me baffled, but you know what, it's probably true. Nikki is the reason that Alex and I started dating and over the years, they ended up getting hostile with eachother for so many reasons and now it's to the point where they hardly will be around eachother. I hang out with Nikki every day of my life, so my next boyfriend has to get along with her. For real though, I don't think either one of us are ever dating again...or so it seems. Nikki has been out of a relationship for a year and half and I have had plenty of times to start new relationships, but it's whatever. I think we both know that by starting something new, we'd be giving lots up. We've been best friends for so long, we've forgotten what it's like to function without eachother. We're not the kind of best friends who just have that title either. We've gotten so close that we absent mindedly pick at eachother, we don't go out on the town if the other person isn't going and heck, we've even slept buck naked next to eachother on random nights that we've come home too drunk to find clothes. It's a good friendship! We are at the point where it's just assumed that it's "Nikki and Jessica." Over the years if there has been a time or two that we've went out without the other, our friends are like "omfg, where is Nikki, is she sick, are you guys fighting, what's up?" It's kind of hilarious but I realize that we've also sectioned ourselves off way more than is probably healthy for us. I couldn't imagine if we got into a life altering fight that made us hate eachother. We both would literally have no one. We have mutual friends, but at the end of the day, they're just friends... you can't call them good, good friends that you can confide in and shite!
Anyways, weird dream.
TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking happy. I want to be a rebel and tell my company to shove their shitty management up their asses and go take a course on what it means to be personable, but I want the good reference too much.
People are funny. I wish I could elaborate on a public blog, but alas, there may be eyes reading this that will report back.
The UK is still the first thing on my mind. I haven't been researching too much lately because I've been bombarded by other stupid, random shit.
COUGHCOUGHCOUGH/RANTRANTRANT
FUCK, I just want to be with MEGAN and APRIL and Sam is a COW for not coming to Forks with me...and when I see her in July I'm going to dry hump for like 28 minutes so that she understands that I hate her life for not seeing me in June!
I'm so raunchy...it's wonderful.
WTF, I still have 2304890249580238423048 hours left of this stupid job.
/endlife
I enjoy writing randomly, to myself, I just wish my FWENDS, who said they were going to blog so that I knew all about their life, would continue to blog. It's like one new post once a week, that's a paragraph long. And then I say "why don't you write." And they reply with "umm, cause I don't got nothing to write about!?!?!" HOLLA, please, explain to me what the fuck all of this is about...NOTHING! I just sit in front of the computer and wait to see what forms. Yesterday I was going to write about how I burnt myself with a smoke a couple days back and when I looked down yesterday, it was randomly bleeding.
I could also talk about how I spent two days in bed and that makes me a failure...oh no, I forgot, I made dinner last night. Fajitas - fucking delicious. I don't understand my obsession with peppers, but I enjoy it.
What else can I talk about... Cake
I want cake
I want ice cream
I want ice cream cake!
I took my dog for a car ride yesterday. She almost jumped out of the fucking window. Idiot.
I can't believe I'm freaking going to WASHINGTON tomorrow... less than 24 hours and I will have landed! Why do I have to be stuck at work all day, so sad!
Okay, end post here.
This time I had met a boy that I really, really liked and he liked me just the same, but before we could start dating, I told him he had to be approved by my best friend. When I woke up it left me baffled, but you know what, it's probably true. Nikki is the reason that Alex and I started dating and over the years, they ended up getting hostile with eachother for so many reasons and now it's to the point where they hardly will be around eachother. I hang out with Nikki every day of my life, so my next boyfriend has to get along with her. For real though, I don't think either one of us are ever dating again...or so it seems. Nikki has been out of a relationship for a year and half and I have had plenty of times to start new relationships, but it's whatever. I think we both know that by starting something new, we'd be giving lots up. We've been best friends for so long, we've forgotten what it's like to function without eachother. We're not the kind of best friends who just have that title either. We've gotten so close that we absent mindedly pick at eachother, we don't go out on the town if the other person isn't going and heck, we've even slept buck naked next to eachother on random nights that we've come home too drunk to find clothes. It's a good friendship! We are at the point where it's just assumed that it's "Nikki and Jessica." Over the years if there has been a time or two that we've went out without the other, our friends are like "omfg, where is Nikki, is she sick, are you guys fighting, what's up?" It's kind of hilarious but I realize that we've also sectioned ourselves off way more than is probably healthy for us. I couldn't imagine if we got into a life altering fight that made us hate eachother. We both would literally have no one. We have mutual friends, but at the end of the day, they're just friends... you can't call them good, good friends that you can confide in and shite!
Anyways, weird dream.
TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking happy. I want to be a rebel and tell my company to shove their shitty management up their asses and go take a course on what it means to be personable, but I want the good reference too much.
People are funny. I wish I could elaborate on a public blog, but alas, there may be eyes reading this that will report back.
The UK is still the first thing on my mind. I haven't been researching too much lately because I've been bombarded by other stupid, random shit.
COUGHCOUGHCOUGH/RANTRANTRANT
FUCK, I just want to be with MEGAN and APRIL and Sam is a COW for not coming to Forks with me...and when I see her in July I'm going to dry hump for like 28 minutes so that she understands that I hate her life for not seeing me in June!
I'm so raunchy...it's wonderful.
WTF, I still have 2304890249580238423048 hours left of this stupid job.
/endlife
I enjoy writing randomly, to myself, I just wish my FWENDS, who said they were going to blog so that I knew all about their life, would continue to blog. It's like one new post once a week, that's a paragraph long. And then I say "why don't you write." And they reply with "umm, cause I don't got nothing to write about!?!?!" HOLLA, please, explain to me what the fuck all of this is about...NOTHING! I just sit in front of the computer and wait to see what forms. Yesterday I was going to write about how I burnt myself with a smoke a couple days back and when I looked down yesterday, it was randomly bleeding.
I could also talk about how I spent two days in bed and that makes me a failure...oh no, I forgot, I made dinner last night. Fajitas - fucking delicious. I don't understand my obsession with peppers, but I enjoy it.
What else can I talk about... Cake
I want cake
I want ice cream
I want ice cream cake!
I took my dog for a car ride yesterday. She almost jumped out of the fucking window. Idiot.
I can't believe I'm freaking going to WASHINGTON tomorrow... less than 24 hours and I will have landed! Why do I have to be stuck at work all day, so sad!
Okay, end post here.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Nekkid!
Ummm... WASHINGTON STATE!
three sleeps, that's right. Count 'em.
ONE
TWO
THREE
I need to pack, but I'm so lazy. So much laundry and shit, it drives me mental. I actually have no idea what to take along with me. Clothes, underwear, it's a start.
I hate the fact that myself as well as my "friends" all seem so sidetracked. I gave up on the fact that Cori, Em, Kaelie, B, etc don't come around anymore...but now it seems that me, Megan, Sam and April are all missing eachother randomly. This is why I'm nervous to build friendships. Unless you don't see the people on a regular basis, it's hard to try and be on the computer all the time. Even if I had a phone, I wouldn't want to text all the time, costs too much. I don't want to plan things like Vegas and or Europe or even Em coming to Canada if I'm not maintaining friendships, ya know??? TwiCon will come and go very soon and after that, people are really going to split off.
I'm dead tired...just dead works too. I can't believe how much of an effect, going to sleep at 8am has had on me. When I was in Vegas, I was up until around that time and I got a couple of hours of sleep and I was completely fine... This morning, I was still drinking Vodka and Orange Juice at 7:30am. Kill me. I went to Aussie Rules, Bootleggers and the Black Swan all in one night... fun times. Brit, if you're reading this, I hate you for leaving early...aka 3:30am.
So yes, dead is me. I came home, went to sleep from 8:30-11...woke up, stayed in bed afer eating breakfast till around 2... then slept till 5, woke up, stayed in bed and went back to sleep at like..7 until 9 something. It's now 11:45pm, and I've spent all day in my bed. I was out of bed for maybe 90 minutes total today.
I'm yawning again, that's my cue.
NIGHT BITCHES.
three sleeps, that's right. Count 'em.
ONE
TWO
THREE
I need to pack, but I'm so lazy. So much laundry and shit, it drives me mental. I actually have no idea what to take along with me. Clothes, underwear, it's a start.
I hate the fact that myself as well as my "friends" all seem so sidetracked. I gave up on the fact that Cori, Em, Kaelie, B, etc don't come around anymore...but now it seems that me, Megan, Sam and April are all missing eachother randomly. This is why I'm nervous to build friendships. Unless you don't see the people on a regular basis, it's hard to try and be on the computer all the time. Even if I had a phone, I wouldn't want to text all the time, costs too much. I don't want to plan things like Vegas and or Europe or even Em coming to Canada if I'm not maintaining friendships, ya know??? TwiCon will come and go very soon and after that, people are really going to split off.
I'm dead tired...just dead works too. I can't believe how much of an effect, going to sleep at 8am has had on me. When I was in Vegas, I was up until around that time and I got a couple of hours of sleep and I was completely fine... This morning, I was still drinking Vodka and Orange Juice at 7:30am. Kill me. I went to Aussie Rules, Bootleggers and the Black Swan all in one night... fun times. Brit, if you're reading this, I hate you for leaving early...aka 3:30am.
So yes, dead is me. I came home, went to sleep from 8:30-11...woke up, stayed in bed afer eating breakfast till around 2... then slept till 5, woke up, stayed in bed and went back to sleep at like..7 until 9 something. It's now 11:45pm, and I've spent all day in my bed. I was out of bed for maybe 90 minutes total today.
I'm yawning again, that's my cue.
NIGHT BITCHES.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
You'll never change whats been and gone
ATTN:
ATTN:
ATTN:
ATTN: The following blog is somewhat of a rant, but what else is new?
Okay, so I'll start out by saying that the following paragraphs are indeed about Twilight and just fandoms in general.
I have been part of the Twilight fandom for about a year now. It's all been a very new experience. In the past, I've never latched on to big "crazes" or become part of any "fandoms." When I was younger, I was very, very much into BSB, N'Sync, Britney, The Spice Girls, you name it... but that was when I was much younger and it was more of a "dance in my room, choreographing dances and using a hair brush as my microphone." The internet wasn't a huge outlet to establish a fan base and unless they were coming to perform, I didn't interact with other fans ever.
As I got older and new people, places, things started trending, I started backing off even more. By the time I was in junior high, I was kind of a rebel, so hanging out with boys, drinking, drugs consumed a lot of my life. I didn't really have time to become obsessed with anything.
When I got to high school, I had already put myself in a long term relationship and I was busy really diving into the "local scene." I went to a lot of concerts that housed local bands and really kept to group of friends. Even as far as clothing styles go, I never got attached to anything. I have always and will always wear what I like and what is comfortable. I have lucked out this season beacuse the style of dresses that I love and plaid have both been in style, so I've been shopping like crazy. But don't expect me to wear skinny jeans because they're cool, or adopt the boho look because it's in, that's just not me...
And that's exactly how I felt with fandoms... and I'm talking about ALLLLLL fandoms. You have ones in movies like Harry Potter, Twilight, Scarface, Fight Club, Kevin Smith movies, etc. You have sports, you have books, clothes, music, people... anything.
Throughout my different phases, I dabbled in things that I enjoyed... and that had quite a number of followers, but I found that I ALWAYS got annoyed. I'm not going to say that I particularly wanted to go "against the grain" and "hate" something because it was popular, but I just genuinely, got annoyed. It was just the things that became associated with whatever or whoever was popular at the time... for example, the Paris Hilton craze...nothing against the girl, but the saying "that's hot," I wanted to shove that saying into a herpes infested garbage can.
So now that I AM a part of a fandom, I've really seen the inner workings of what goes on with everything from merchandise to fans to any and everything... I've come to the conclusion, that even though I'm so obsessed with Twilight, I still hate fandoms.
Before I rant forever, I want to talk about fans first of all. Most of them, a lot of them, have really good intentions, but then there are the handful who are FUCKINGA ANNOYING. Specifically talking about the Twilight fandom they come like this:
the long term fans: fans that read the books years ago and therefore think that because they stumbled upon it first, this makes them some sort of unsung "true fan." You can usually hear these types say... "I was first and foremost a Twilight fan, before Robert Pattinson was even cast, I'm a true fan, not like the phonies."
Please explain to me WHAT THAT MEANS?!?! I wasn't aware that because you read the book either a few months or a few years before someone else that you're more dedicated and loyal... Everything and everyone has to establish a fanbase and a following somewhere... it's just a way of life and it doesn't make you more dedicated!
the bandwagon jumpers: fans that have not read the book but yet can justify their love for Twilight... or at least think they can. Sorry, but Edward Cullen aka Robert Pattinson is NOT justification for Twilight in general.
When I say bandwagon jumpers, I'm not talking about people that who have read the book a week ago and have fell in love with it. Seriously, I encourage anyone who hasn't read the book to find out how awesome it is, but I'm talking about the people who have nothing better to do other than get involved in a fandom. The ones who see an actor/actress in a magazine, think they're good looking and then all of a sudden "omg, i luff twilight." Why? "Ummm because it's fucking sweet!" WRONG ANSWER
The Twi...older people?: These are the people who act superior to the younger Twilight fans. Mostly young teenagers... you can usually hear them saying things like "if any of those 13year old fangirls scream in the movie, I will kill them."
I must have heard that a million times and what's funny to me, is I've seen the movie 9 times in theatres and I interact with older fans all the time and I can honestly say, that stereotyping the younger crowd as the loud, rowdy ones is bullshit. There is NO age range that should carry the brunt of being labelled the "fan girls." Another thing with the older audience is that they tend to be smug when talking about Twilight. Like their age and "wisdom" gives them some sort of unspoken understanding for the book/movie that younger people wouldn't get. Drives me mental. Again, when I say older people, it's the only way I can explain it. I'm generalizing a ton so if you're older, please don't automatically group yourself in with what I'm talking about. You'll know if you do this or not.
The "dedicated" fans: I guess I could group myself into this category since I have a website and shit, but whatever. These are the fans that maybe... own a site or belong to a community, write fan fiction, collect merchandise out of the ass, attend conventions, be the first in line to watch the movie, etc, etc.
Some of these people automatically think because they devote more time, energy, effort, money, whatever...then OTHER people, that somehow, they love the book/movie more. I don't think it works like that. There are bands that I haven't listened to in ages, books I've never bothered to look up online and devote time and energy to... does this make me less of a fan? The fact that you became involved in something period is enough... people can appreciate and devote themselves to something that they're fond of from a distance. They don't have to start up a website or join a forum to appreciate it as much as the person who does those things.
The "die hard" fans: These are the ones that anger meeeeee a lot. They value twilight above all else. There is no room for interpretation or argument. Twilight is "the best" and that's all that matters. Okay, yes, I completely agree with the fact that it makes no sense to hate on a people or thing just because. However, I have talked to people that aren't a fan of the movie and or the book for a number of reasons and they give very good arguments. You have to accept that not everyone is going to love what you love and vice versa. Twilight isn't for everyone and if you try and force it on people, it'll only make them retaliate more. Yes, there are some people who are rude, give horrible arguments, but that's not everyone. We get angry because dumb Twilight haters come to the sites we love and spam us and put the book/movie down but did you know that there are twilight fans who go to sites that reflect twilight negatively and invade their forums and talk about how awesome Twiligt is. Now that is a double standard. Those are the people giving us a bad name, just like the idiots that we talk to are the ones that give the people who don't like twilight, a bad name. Make sense.
I could go on and on and rant and rant but I'll end it there... I myself, am both victim and suspect to one or more of these groups. I try and stay neutral, but I've let myself slip, I admit. I don't mean to put specific people down and if this post offends you, it obviously means you belong in one of these groups, which is fine, it's whatever, I'm just telling you that this is what I hate about the fandom.
I also hate how much I am judged. I have a poster on the wall, I'm attending a convention, yada yada and all of a sudden I am nerdy?!?! Last time I checked, I'm the same person. I'm proud to talk about two of my best friends whom I met online. I'm also proud to say that I go out dancing and drinking. I hate the fact that I'm judged because of something that I like.
I started writing this blog today off of something really not related... and then it just strayed from there. Might as well touch on that topic for a second.
The reason that I was originally annoyed is because... I really believe that I am what I am and we are what we are. Don't try to atler, change, of hide behind things that aren't true.
There are a lot of definitions of the word "fan." I call myself a fan... because when it comes down to it, that's what I am...Anything or anyone that I appreciate, essentially, I am a fan or them or it. I am a Twilight, Cam Gigandet fan... obviously. Could you call me obsessive over my Cam obsession... quite possibly. I have a cutout, pictures, my screen saver, whatever else. The truth is, I adore him. I think he is a gorgeous individual and as long as he making movies and not publicly announcing that he is a nazi or a baby hater or anything weird, than I'll probably be a fan of his.
Recently, when it comes to the cast of the Twilight movie, people talk about "fangirls," fans in general and whatever else. And now I've started hearing... "I'm a follower, NOT a fan. I appreciate him, I just want to give him a hug and tell them that he/she is an amazing actor, musician, artist, etc.... but I'm NOT a fan."
UMMM... FAIL, EPIC FAIL, YOU FAIL SO FUCKING BAD I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT! What would you call yourself? Someone that you've NEVER met whom you enjoy their movies and or music... you "appreciate" and "respect" them... I think all of those are SYNONYMS for fan!
It seriously drives me mental when people try to set themselves aside using different words that may throw others astray. It doesn't work, I can see right through you and I think it's kind of pathetic.
I could talk about this more but than I'd just start naming names and being a total cunt and that is not something I really want to do publicly. I'll save that for the likes of Skype.
OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...
/end rant
Maybe I'll talk about happy things. I officially have 17 more hours of work left... and then I'll never come back to this place AGAIN! Whew, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm happy. I'm going to make everything work out becauseeeee, that's what I do!
My butt still kind of hurts from hiking. My legs didn't hurt at all, just my ass... go figure.
I only have 3 FULL days left till I see Megan and Ape's face! I have some of today (saturday) left... then all of sunday, monday, tuesday and then ...BAM, it's Wednesday and I'm landing in rainy Seattle! So. Fucking. Excited. My goal is to take 200 pictures per day... so I'll come home with 1400 fotos and hopefully, they won't all be of Megan's forehead this time.
I think yer cute.
Also, I've resorted to the improper spelling of words... I'm doing it to annoy people... and because I've decided that I like to convey exactly who I am in person, online...therefore... I type like I talk... all the time.
Your = yer
Fuck = Feck
What = wut
Done = dun
You get the point. It's funny too, because I've been told that over enunciate my words, when usually, most of the time, I'm lazy and speak like the above.
"Wut the feck, I can't even esplain how much I LUFFFFFFFF Ryan Reynolds."
Get it? I think this phase will pass, but it's fun annoying people. The horrible thing is, I'm completely playing off of Megan so I'm not sure when it will stop. I'll start saying random shit and get her going and vice versa... same with Sam... I never said stupid shit like... "latah" and "lovah" and other things with an ah until Sam started...and now I can't stop.
I hate my friends.
Apparently Court reads my blogs, if that's true, Court you must reply to this saying... "Jessica is fucking sweet. The new grey and black dress that she is wearing today looks WUNDERFUL!"
This blog has turned into a novel...might as well keep going.
Dear Priceline...we're fighting.
Dear Sam...I luff joo
Dear Megan...I will cut you open and sleep inside of you
Dear PE... I hope they find some part of you that was made with lead and do a massive recall. That would make my life!
Dear ER... Are you guys starring in that new flick yet where y'all play twinsies?!?!
Dear werk... you smell
OMFG, I just found a 5 cent candy in my purse from last night... brb while I eat the fuck out of it!
So... good.
HE SAYS, SON, CAN YOU PLAY ME A MEMORY?
I'M NOT REALLY SURE HOW IT GOES.
BUT IT'S SAD AND IT'S SWEET AND I KNEW IT COMPLETE,
WHEN I WORE A YOUNGER MANS CLOTHES...
SING US A SONG, YOU'RE THE PIANO MAN.
I want to be off of work so that I can do something INTERESTING!
/end long ass blog.
ATTN:
ATTN:
ATTN: The following blog is somewhat of a rant, but what else is new?
Okay, so I'll start out by saying that the following paragraphs are indeed about Twilight and just fandoms in general.
I have been part of the Twilight fandom for about a year now. It's all been a very new experience. In the past, I've never latched on to big "crazes" or become part of any "fandoms." When I was younger, I was very, very much into BSB, N'Sync, Britney, The Spice Girls, you name it... but that was when I was much younger and it was more of a "dance in my room, choreographing dances and using a hair brush as my microphone." The internet wasn't a huge outlet to establish a fan base and unless they were coming to perform, I didn't interact with other fans ever.
As I got older and new people, places, things started trending, I started backing off even more. By the time I was in junior high, I was kind of a rebel, so hanging out with boys, drinking, drugs consumed a lot of my life. I didn't really have time to become obsessed with anything.
When I got to high school, I had already put myself in a long term relationship and I was busy really diving into the "local scene." I went to a lot of concerts that housed local bands and really kept to group of friends. Even as far as clothing styles go, I never got attached to anything. I have always and will always wear what I like and what is comfortable. I have lucked out this season beacuse the style of dresses that I love and plaid have both been in style, so I've been shopping like crazy. But don't expect me to wear skinny jeans because they're cool, or adopt the boho look because it's in, that's just not me...
And that's exactly how I felt with fandoms... and I'm talking about ALLLLLL fandoms. You have ones in movies like Harry Potter, Twilight, Scarface, Fight Club, Kevin Smith movies, etc. You have sports, you have books, clothes, music, people... anything.
Throughout my different phases, I dabbled in things that I enjoyed... and that had quite a number of followers, but I found that I ALWAYS got annoyed. I'm not going to say that I particularly wanted to go "against the grain" and "hate" something because it was popular, but I just genuinely, got annoyed. It was just the things that became associated with whatever or whoever was popular at the time... for example, the Paris Hilton craze...nothing against the girl, but the saying "that's hot," I wanted to shove that saying into a herpes infested garbage can.
So now that I AM a part of a fandom, I've really seen the inner workings of what goes on with everything from merchandise to fans to any and everything... I've come to the conclusion, that even though I'm so obsessed with Twilight, I still hate fandoms.
Before I rant forever, I want to talk about fans first of all. Most of them, a lot of them, have really good intentions, but then there are the handful who are FUCKINGA ANNOYING. Specifically talking about the Twilight fandom they come like this:
the long term fans: fans that read the books years ago and therefore think that because they stumbled upon it first, this makes them some sort of unsung "true fan." You can usually hear these types say... "I was first and foremost a Twilight fan, before Robert Pattinson was even cast, I'm a true fan, not like the phonies."
Please explain to me WHAT THAT MEANS?!?! I wasn't aware that because you read the book either a few months or a few years before someone else that you're more dedicated and loyal... Everything and everyone has to establish a fanbase and a following somewhere... it's just a way of life and it doesn't make you more dedicated!
the bandwagon jumpers: fans that have not read the book but yet can justify their love for Twilight... or at least think they can. Sorry, but Edward Cullen aka Robert Pattinson is NOT justification for Twilight in general.
When I say bandwagon jumpers, I'm not talking about people that who have read the book a week ago and have fell in love with it. Seriously, I encourage anyone who hasn't read the book to find out how awesome it is, but I'm talking about the people who have nothing better to do other than get involved in a fandom. The ones who see an actor/actress in a magazine, think they're good looking and then all of a sudden "omg, i luff twilight." Why? "Ummm because it's fucking sweet!" WRONG ANSWER
The Twi...older people?: These are the people who act superior to the younger Twilight fans. Mostly young teenagers... you can usually hear them saying things like "if any of those 13year old fangirls scream in the movie, I will kill them."
I must have heard that a million times and what's funny to me, is I've seen the movie 9 times in theatres and I interact with older fans all the time and I can honestly say, that stereotyping the younger crowd as the loud, rowdy ones is bullshit. There is NO age range that should carry the brunt of being labelled the "fan girls." Another thing with the older audience is that they tend to be smug when talking about Twilight. Like their age and "wisdom" gives them some sort of unspoken understanding for the book/movie that younger people wouldn't get. Drives me mental. Again, when I say older people, it's the only way I can explain it. I'm generalizing a ton so if you're older, please don't automatically group yourself in with what I'm talking about. You'll know if you do this or not.
The "dedicated" fans: I guess I could group myself into this category since I have a website and shit, but whatever. These are the fans that maybe... own a site or belong to a community, write fan fiction, collect merchandise out of the ass, attend conventions, be the first in line to watch the movie, etc, etc.
Some of these people automatically think because they devote more time, energy, effort, money, whatever...then OTHER people, that somehow, they love the book/movie more. I don't think it works like that. There are bands that I haven't listened to in ages, books I've never bothered to look up online and devote time and energy to... does this make me less of a fan? The fact that you became involved in something period is enough... people can appreciate and devote themselves to something that they're fond of from a distance. They don't have to start up a website or join a forum to appreciate it as much as the person who does those things.
The "die hard" fans: These are the ones that anger meeeeee a lot. They value twilight above all else. There is no room for interpretation or argument. Twilight is "the best" and that's all that matters. Okay, yes, I completely agree with the fact that it makes no sense to hate on a people or thing just because. However, I have talked to people that aren't a fan of the movie and or the book for a number of reasons and they give very good arguments. You have to accept that not everyone is going to love what you love and vice versa. Twilight isn't for everyone and if you try and force it on people, it'll only make them retaliate more. Yes, there are some people who are rude, give horrible arguments, but that's not everyone. We get angry because dumb Twilight haters come to the sites we love and spam us and put the book/movie down but did you know that there are twilight fans who go to sites that reflect twilight negatively and invade their forums and talk about how awesome Twiligt is. Now that is a double standard. Those are the people giving us a bad name, just like the idiots that we talk to are the ones that give the people who don't like twilight, a bad name. Make sense.
I could go on and on and rant and rant but I'll end it there... I myself, am both victim and suspect to one or more of these groups. I try and stay neutral, but I've let myself slip, I admit. I don't mean to put specific people down and if this post offends you, it obviously means you belong in one of these groups, which is fine, it's whatever, I'm just telling you that this is what I hate about the fandom.
I also hate how much I am judged. I have a poster on the wall, I'm attending a convention, yada yada and all of a sudden I am nerdy?!?! Last time I checked, I'm the same person. I'm proud to talk about two of my best friends whom I met online. I'm also proud to say that I go out dancing and drinking. I hate the fact that I'm judged because of something that I like.
I started writing this blog today off of something really not related... and then it just strayed from there. Might as well touch on that topic for a second.
The reason that I was originally annoyed is because... I really believe that I am what I am and we are what we are. Don't try to atler, change, of hide behind things that aren't true.
There are a lot of definitions of the word "fan." I call myself a fan... because when it comes down to it, that's what I am...Anything or anyone that I appreciate, essentially, I am a fan or them or it. I am a Twilight, Cam Gigandet fan... obviously. Could you call me obsessive over my Cam obsession... quite possibly. I have a cutout, pictures, my screen saver, whatever else. The truth is, I adore him. I think he is a gorgeous individual and as long as he making movies and not publicly announcing that he is a nazi or a baby hater or anything weird, than I'll probably be a fan of his.
Recently, when it comes to the cast of the Twilight movie, people talk about "fangirls," fans in general and whatever else. And now I've started hearing... "I'm a follower, NOT a fan. I appreciate him, I just want to give him a hug and tell them that he/she is an amazing actor, musician, artist, etc.... but I'm NOT a fan."
UMMM... FAIL, EPIC FAIL, YOU FAIL SO FUCKING BAD I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT! What would you call yourself? Someone that you've NEVER met whom you enjoy their movies and or music... you "appreciate" and "respect" them... I think all of those are SYNONYMS for fan!
It seriously drives me mental when people try to set themselves aside using different words that may throw others astray. It doesn't work, I can see right through you and I think it's kind of pathetic.
I could talk about this more but than I'd just start naming names and being a total cunt and that is not something I really want to do publicly. I'll save that for the likes of Skype.
OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...
/end rant
Maybe I'll talk about happy things. I officially have 17 more hours of work left... and then I'll never come back to this place AGAIN! Whew, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm happy. I'm going to make everything work out becauseeeee, that's what I do!
My butt still kind of hurts from hiking. My legs didn't hurt at all, just my ass... go figure.
I only have 3 FULL days left till I see Megan and Ape's face! I have some of today (saturday) left... then all of sunday, monday, tuesday and then ...BAM, it's Wednesday and I'm landing in rainy Seattle! So. Fucking. Excited. My goal is to take 200 pictures per day... so I'll come home with 1400 fotos and hopefully, they won't all be of Megan's forehead this time.
I think yer cute.
Also, I've resorted to the improper spelling of words... I'm doing it to annoy people... and because I've decided that I like to convey exactly who I am in person, online...therefore... I type like I talk... all the time.
Your = yer
Fuck = Feck
What = wut
Done = dun
You get the point. It's funny too, because I've been told that over enunciate my words, when usually, most of the time, I'm lazy and speak like the above.
"Wut the feck, I can't even esplain how much I LUFFFFFFFF Ryan Reynolds."
Get it? I think this phase will pass, but it's fun annoying people. The horrible thing is, I'm completely playing off of Megan so I'm not sure when it will stop. I'll start saying random shit and get her going and vice versa... same with Sam... I never said stupid shit like... "latah" and "lovah" and other things with an ah until Sam started...and now I can't stop.
I hate my friends.
Apparently Court reads my blogs, if that's true, Court you must reply to this saying... "Jessica is fucking sweet. The new grey and black dress that she is wearing today looks WUNDERFUL!"
This blog has turned into a novel...might as well keep going.
Dear Priceline...we're fighting.
Dear Sam...I luff joo
Dear Megan...I will cut you open and sleep inside of you
Dear PE... I hope they find some part of you that was made with lead and do a massive recall. That would make my life!
Dear ER... Are you guys starring in that new flick yet where y'all play twinsies?!?!
Dear werk... you smell
OMFG, I just found a 5 cent candy in my purse from last night... brb while I eat the fuck out of it!
So... good.
HE SAYS, SON, CAN YOU PLAY ME A MEMORY?
I'M NOT REALLY SURE HOW IT GOES.
BUT IT'S SAD AND IT'S SWEET AND I KNEW IT COMPLETE,
WHEN I WORE A YOUNGER MANS CLOTHES...
SING US A SONG, YOU'RE THE PIANO MAN.
I want to be off of work so that I can do something INTERESTING!
/end long ass blog.
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