I'm Starting With Me!

First of all, be prepared for the longest blog of your life.

This blog will probably be private since I don't want to beat around the bush.

First of all, I just got back from Forks and I must say that I had one of the best times of my entire life. Seriously going in the record books! There aren't enough happy words in the english language to explain how wonderfully happy that trip left me feeling.

First of all: I love Megan with my entire life. Even the part of me that hates her, still wants to cuddle up to her and call her a cunt in a kind, soft voice. Seriously, my life in Forks would have sucked the big one if she wasn't there.

Second of all: Mill Creek Bar owns my life. Do I need to say anymore?

and ummmm.... NAH-HA-HAY-VEY. Yum drool. Yum drool. Yum drool.


Basically the entire trip consisted of eating, sleeping and being drunk...and hey, I can't complain.

It caught me off guard that I would have so much fun, because usually, on vacations it's go, go, go for me. I thought that I would be bored but suprisingly, I wish I were still in Forks, laying in the musty, spider infested motel room. I just want to be back there, hanging out.













You can clearly tell that Thursday night was epic... that is all!

ON ANOTHER NOTE:

Ummm, SAN DIEGO WITH MEGAN IN SEPTEMBER 2009! I had planned for months and months to use one of my days in SoCal to visit Megan, however, it was just decided that I would switch my plane ticket early and stay with her for an extra week! Wonderful, wonderful news. I hope that all goes smoothly because I think that would be an awesome time.

----

So I'm supposed to leave for the craziness that is TwiCon very, very soon. However, my poor, jobless ass, doesn't even have a plane ticket yet. DAMN IT. It's stressing me out. I've been moody and bitchy and probably gaining weight since I'm eating the most random shit ever out of boredom. I'm hoping everything will come through. There is NOTHING more at this point, that I want, than to hang out with Sam for two weeks straight. It's been 9 months in the making. I feel like we've nursed a pregnancy together, hell we kind of have!...It's about damn time we get to stay up till all hours of the night and have a face to face chat instead of just on Skype. I would be extremely happy if I got the chance to see Megan and heck, even Cori too. My entire life wants to hang out with my best friends and do WHATEVER...drink, shop, watch movies, gossip, pig out on junk, etc... I don't want to rely on hanging out with them for 4 days under the pressures of TwiCon, that's why I'm going early. A couple of people have said "wow lucky" and even "isn't that a little long," but in all honesty, what is 14 days out of 365? Not a whole lot. In the countless hours that I've spent talking to Sam, I haven't got sick of her, or wanted to fight with her... she pretty much knows the person I am and HOPEFULLY, I her. She knows I'm stubborn, slightly rude, picky, bitchy, you name it...all of my bad qualities have been "out there" for quite some time. I figured if she had issues, I'd know it by now. I'm hoping I'll be the proud owner of a plane ticket by the end of the week. That way I can figure out what to do for everything else! So much to plan and I'm not nearly ready.

I might be going camping next weekend (17th)...this would mean that I'd have to prepared and packed quite soon! That reminds me, where the heck is my passport? Better find that if I want to go anywhere at all! Sheesh.

So, I just want to put it out there:

This blog, these are my thoughts. Yes, it is public, anyone can read it. I just want to make people aware... if you DO read my blog, I'm not writing this for you. That might sound rude, but it's true. There may be thoughts that I put "OUT THERE" or whatever, but at the end of the day, this is what I do to document how I feel. Sure, I could keep a private journal, but at the same time, sometimes I want people to know my thoughts. There are days I get on the computer and I'm a huge bitch to people, than I realize it later on but I'm too selfish and stubborn to say "hey, look, sorry I was being rude earlier!" Instead, I can just take to my blog and talk about my bad day so that maybe they might stumble here and realize "oh, she was just not having a good day!" My blog is rude, vulgar... it's out there. It's me; that's all. There is a reason that I don't link it to my facebook or my myspace. I don't want my mother to see this, or people that I might have met in the Twilight fandom who I'm not on a personal level with. If you read it and comment, that's fine, I encourage it, I love to hear what people think. If I've offended you, that sucks, you can let me know...but please understand, I did not WAKE UP, think about how I wanted to specifically talk about YOU and try to offend you. If I'm talking about a group of people and you take offense, that's your doing, I didn't put you in that group. There are about 4 people that I don't like and it's public knowledge. I don't give a shit...if they read my blog, well sucks to be them. They should not be that interested in my life anyways. Other than those 4 individuals (and my ex-employer), I don't blog about disliking anyone else. I blog specifically about individuals I like!!!...ramble, ramble, ramble. Basically... just don't take offense to what I say. I'm not going to stop swearing, or ranting about things/people that I don't like.

MOVING ON....

I watched Season 1 of True Blood! Took me less than 24 hours. I can't quite give a review yet because I don't know how I feel. There was no dislike or hate, that's for sure, but I also didn't go 'OMFG, MORE MORE MORE.' I found myself NEEDING to watch the next episode, but not because I fell in love with the characters or the story, but just because I was CURIOUS. It captivated me but not in the usual way. For example, I HATED the long freaking intro that went on forever, yet I never bothered fast forwarding through it because I really enjoyed the twisted song.

"I don't know what you've done to me, but I know this much is true; I wanna do bad things with you!"

I've always wanted to go to Louisiana...and ever since I drove through it in February and found the Alligator heads at the road side convenience store and saw the giant chipped, white wooden crosses off the highway, I've wanted to go MORE! No offense to anyone who might live there and could be reading this (Court), but LA seems SO FUCKED UP... like so southern and out of MY personal "normal." It seems like the epitome of the south to me...not to mention movies and novels have given it such a distinct personality. It's so mysterious and edgy and in a lot of cases, dangerous and scary. I want to go...NOW!

Is it sad that I'm eating 5cent candies as we speak?

I only have 2 smokes left...looks like I'm taking the dog for a walk tomorrow.

Speaking of dog, I love taking her for car rides! However, I am NOT...ever taking her for a walk at 7pm at night again. I took her tonight and there were so many rabid dog and dog owners outside. They were psycho...barking and growling and being a pain in my ass... I like walking my dog at noon or midnight...no one is ever outside!

I'll end this and I promise to pick back up on blogging, look for another long post tomorrow, I have lots to talk about but sleep calls to me!

I'll end it off with a Michael Jackson vid. Yes, he passed away and yes, CNN has been on my TV all day. Although he wasn't my idol and I don't know what he may or may not have done in his life, I can't help but be moved by his memorial service. It does not matter who he was or what he may have done...what matters is what he achieved. Bringing millions together, inspirational lyrics, I can't complain!

This is probably my fave MJ song..

here are the lyrics... you can't tell me that these lyrics don't make you reflect and take a second to think! It's WONDERFUL!

"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.



HAPPY TUESDAY!


PS... I really dislike you and your crazy ways!