Click the images to view them in the full size window so that they are actual size!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
I made more stuff!!!
OKKK...so a few new images..they're actually all the same except with altered coloring! I made these for a girl in the twicon forums(krys_03)! I was more than happy to make them and as I've said before...I ALWAYS take requests! Hope you guys enjoy...especially you Krys! Let me know if you want anything altered!
Click the images to view them in the full size window so that they are actual size!
Click the images to view them in the full size window so that they are actual size!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
As the title says....MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone!
There are a ton of people that I've recently started talking to lately who I'm sad I couldn't see this holiday season, just wanted you all to know that I'm thinking about you guys. I love you all and I hope that you had an amazing christmas!!!
<3
There are a ton of people that I've recently started talking to lately who I'm sad I couldn't see this holiday season, just wanted you all to know that I'm thinking about you guys. I love you all and I hope that you had an amazing christmas!!!
<3
Sunday, December 21, 2008
You Set My Soul Alight
Another little something! Enjoy!
P.S....GREAT SONG, GREAT BAND!!!
Click below to check out their awesome site!
www.muse.mu
P.S....GREAT SONG, GREAT BAND!!!
Click below to check out their awesome site!
www.muse.mu
I Could Stay This Way Forever
Just a little something! You have to click the picture to enlarge it and read what the words are. It's basically just two lines from Rob's "Let Me Sign." Enjoy. =)
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Once Again - New Moon Website!!!
I can't stress enough HOW amazing this website is. It has a TON of information surrounding the Taylor Lautner and the Jacob issue. There is also info updated daily on other aspects of the making and casting of New Moon. It is an AMAZING sight. I would definitely recommend looking there first before anywhere else for all your New Moon information!!!
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
How Aware are YOU of Your Surroundings???
So! Yesterday, on my day off, I decided to get some last minute christmas shopping in. It was freezing out(around -30celsius) so people were scurrying from their cars to the mall, trying to avoid the cold at all costs.
I was finished with my shopping at the mall and I was waiting at an exit for my dad to pick me up. There was sliding doors in the middle and two regualar sets of doors to either side of it. WELLLLLL, the sliding doors and one set of doors were out of order. They had HUGE OUT OF ORDER signs posted and everything. Since traffic was bad, I ended up waiting for my dad for about 45 minutes at the exit. MOST AMUSING 45MINUTES OF MY LIFE!!! The title of my post is "How aware are you of your surroundings?" After observing people and the issues they had with these doors, I've realized that people are VERY unaware.
The people entering and exiting were SO unaware that even though there was massive signs on the doors, they walked right in to them, fiddled with them, kicked and swore at the doors...I'd even pipe out "you need to go all the way down to the left." But NOOOO, they wouldn't listen at all, they'd just keep attempting to shove the doors open.
Although it was hilarious and if I had a camera, it probabl could have made its way to AFV, at the same time...I'm thinking about how dangerous it is not to be attentive. If you're not observant of your surroundings including scenery, people and other small things, you could find yourself in trouble. For example,if you keep in mind who you're surrounded by and someone makes a grab for your bags and gets away with them, by being aware of them, you could file a police report easier and give a better description.
PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE!!!
I was finished with my shopping at the mall and I was waiting at an exit for my dad to pick me up. There was sliding doors in the middle and two regualar sets of doors to either side of it. WELLLLLL, the sliding doors and one set of doors were out of order. They had HUGE OUT OF ORDER signs posted and everything. Since traffic was bad, I ended up waiting for my dad for about 45 minutes at the exit. MOST AMUSING 45MINUTES OF MY LIFE!!! The title of my post is "How aware are you of your surroundings?" After observing people and the issues they had with these doors, I've realized that people are VERY unaware.
The people entering and exiting were SO unaware that even though there was massive signs on the doors, they walked right in to them, fiddled with them, kicked and swore at the doors...I'd even pipe out "you need to go all the way down to the left." But NOOOO, they wouldn't listen at all, they'd just keep attempting to shove the doors open.
Although it was hilarious and if I had a camera, it probabl could have made its way to AFV, at the same time...I'm thinking about how dangerous it is not to be attentive. If you're not observant of your surroundings including scenery, people and other small things, you could find yourself in trouble. For example,if you keep in mind who you're surrounded by and someone makes a grab for your bags and gets away with them, by being aware of them, you could file a police report easier and give a better description.
PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE!!!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Another Design from April - Amazing!
www.cafepress.com/twilightcoven2
Yet again, my lovely, talented friend April has WOWED us with another creation. This time around, her design features quotes from Stephenie Meyer's book "New Moon." The movie which has a tentative release date of November 20th 2009 will be sure to feature some of these memorable quotes from the book. April's design is featured on all kinds of apparell such as shirts, sweaters, totebags etc. The link is posted above. Check it out!!! Below is a picture of the design! Way to go woman, you never cease to amaze me!!!
Photo courtesy of http://www.cafepress.com/Twilightcoven2
Yet again, my lovely, talented friend April has WOWED us with another creation. This time around, her design features quotes from Stephenie Meyer's book "New Moon." The movie which has a tentative release date of November 20th 2009 will be sure to feature some of these memorable quotes from the book. April's design is featured on all kinds of apparell such as shirts, sweaters, totebags etc. The link is posted above. Check it out!!! Below is a picture of the design! Way to go woman, you never cease to amaze me!!!
Photo courtesy of http://www.cafepress.com/Twilightcoven2
To My Avid Bookworms!!!
I know all of you read like it's oxygen, and I'm running out of books to read so please - give me lists of books that you love!!!
I wanna go on a book binge after christmas here and I'm not lieing when I say that I promise you, I am open to any genre, any book, any author.
If you guys are writing down your recommendations, I'd appreciate it if you could give me a little more info than "twilight" for example. It's nice to know who the author or the genre is or if it's a series...stuff like that.
Thanks all!!!
xo.Jess
I wanna go on a book binge after christmas here and I'm not lieing when I say that I promise you, I am open to any genre, any book, any author.
If you guys are writing down your recommendations, I'd appreciate it if you could give me a little more info than "twilight" for example. It's nice to know who the author or the genre is or if it's a series...stuff like that.
Thanks all!!!
xo.Jess
Everything counts.
Life is everything
Love is everything
The goodness that you give to people and that people give to you in return...is EVERYTHING.
Never forget that, not for a second...never even hesitate at that thought...for it is absolute.
Love is everything
The goodness that you give to people and that people give to you in return...is EVERYTHING.
Never forget that, not for a second...never even hesitate at that thought...for it is absolute.
Countdown till I see Emily...and PRECON!!!
I just had to share with you all that I've bought my precon plane ticket today. Precon is NOT related to twicon in any way, shape or form other than the fact that twicon is how I met all of the people that I'm meetting at precon!!!
I'm ecstatic, beyond ecstatic. I'm going to see some of the people whom I've made a priority in my life lately.
-Emily
-Kaelie
-Sam(you're making the day trip)
-KP(you're making the day trip WITH Sam)
-Liz
-Danaaaaaa
-Ti
-Melchyyy
-B!
-Angie =)
-and Greg! Of course!
You guys are all important to me and I promise that if you meant anything less to me than you do now, I would have definitely NOT spent the 400CAD that it cost to fly down there. I love you all and I hope these next two months fly by!!!
I'll be arriving on wednesday and leaving the following wednesday... 8 DAYS WITH MY OTHER HALF!!! The anticipation is already too much!
Sam and KP, I really, really hope you gals can make it, I would love nothing more than to at least get the chance to say hi to you guys in person and give you an awesome hug!
I'm ecstatic, beyond ecstatic. I'm going to see some of the people whom I've made a priority in my life lately.
-Emily
-Kaelie
-Sam(you're making the day trip)
-KP(you're making the day trip WITH Sam)
-Liz
-Danaaaaaa
-Ti
-Melchyyy
-B!
-Angie =)
-and Greg! Of course!
You guys are all important to me and I promise that if you meant anything less to me than you do now, I would have definitely NOT spent the 400CAD that it cost to fly down there. I love you all and I hope these next two months fly by!!!
I'll be arriving on wednesday and leaving the following wednesday... 8 DAYS WITH MY OTHER HALF!!! The anticipation is already too much!
Sam and KP, I really, really hope you gals can make it, I would love nothing more than to at least get the chance to say hi to you guys in person and give you an awesome hug!
Some images!!!
Ok..so I've made a couple images that you can feel free to use...if you click on the picture it'll pull it up in a new window so you can see the actual size. If you need help finding a specific coding for it, just let me know and I'll be happy to help you out. I'm also taking requests...I know, I know Ang and Mel are SO next in line, but feel free to leave me a comment with a description and or a link to a picture or quote and I'll try my best to create what you want.
ALL I ASK... is that you give me credit. You can credit me by either using my alias(missxjess) or my blog(xxmissxjessxx@blogspot.com).
Thanks guys and I hope you enjoy them!!!
xo. Jess!
ALL I ASK... is that you give me credit. You can credit me by either using my alias(missxjess) or my blog(xxmissxjessxx@blogspot.com).
Thanks guys and I hope you enjoy them!!!
xo. Jess!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Fansites!!!
Everyday I'm trying to add more stuff... right now I'm trying to tinker with all the coding so that I can add my own stuff to my page. I'm almost wondering if I should just buy my own domain??? Any thoughts?
Also!!! I've added some of the cast member's fansites on the right hand side!
Check them out. They're created by the fans, for the fans so that we can enjoy all the awesome things about the actors/actresses that we love. They have great links, new information on current projects, extensive photo-galleries, lots of media and much, much more!
If anyone has any other great sites to recommend, let me know and I'll be more than happy to post them!
Also!!! I've added some of the cast member's fansites on the right hand side!
Check them out. They're created by the fans, for the fans so that we can enjoy all the awesome things about the actors/actresses that we love. They have great links, new information on current projects, extensive photo-galleries, lots of media and much, much more!
If anyone has any other great sites to recommend, let me know and I'll be more than happy to post them!
Cam Gigandet Fansite!!!
Cam Gigandet's Fansite!!!
Photo courtesy of www.camgigandet.tv
I'll admit it, this post was for me! Haha, what can I say! =)
Photo courtesy of www.camgigandet.tv
I'll admit it, this post was for me! Haha, what can I say! =)
Little Ashes
Click HERE to go to the official website for Robert Pattinson's newest film - Little Ashes!
The film has a limited release date for March 27th 2009 in the U.S.
I urge everyone to check it out the trailer posted below and visit the official site. Sure Rob's made it big since he's been signed on for the Twilight saga, but as the true fans I know we all are, we can't forget about his other work!
The film has a limited release date for March 27th 2009 in the U.S.
I urge everyone to check it out the trailer posted below and visit the official site. Sure Rob's made it big since he's been signed on for the Twilight saga, but as the true fans I know we all are, we can't forget about his other work!
Monday, December 15, 2008
April's design at Cafepress!!!
www.cafepress.com/twilightcoven
The above link is where you can purchase April's(a friend of mine) newest design! It's on cafepress and features some of the most memorable quotes from the twilight book and movie!!! The design is featured on all kinds of apparell such as shirts, sweaters, totes etc. Check it out!!! Below is a picture of the design! Amazing!
Photo courtesy of http://www.cafepress.com/Twilightcoven
The above link is where you can purchase April's(a friend of mine) newest design! It's on cafepress and features some of the most memorable quotes from the twilight book and movie!!! The design is featured on all kinds of apparell such as shirts, sweaters, totes etc. Check it out!!! Below is a picture of the design! Amazing!
Photo courtesy of http://www.cafepress.com/Twilightcoven
Sunday, December 14, 2008
KP!!!
So my good friend and fellow twilight addict like myself - KATIE(KP), has recently made her own site! I recommend taking a peek at it! It has Twilight and New Moon info as well as other fun stuff.
KP's site is easily accessible on the right hand side under "KP's site." LOL, simple enough I figure!
CHECK IT OUT!!!
KP's Site!!!
KP's Site!!!
KP's Site!!!
KP's site is easily accessible on the right hand side under "KP's site." LOL, simple enough I figure!
CHECK IT OUT!!!
KP's Site!!!
KP's Site!!!
KP's Site!!!
Dress Links!
So I've composed a list of websites to find dresses for all of my ladies going to Twicon!!! I've linked a few dress sites thus far and will add many more in the coming days!!!
I've also gave a description of each of the sites underneath the link.
Cheap - Dresses under $150
Moderate - Dresses priced from $150-300
Expensive - Dressed $300+
www.bestpromdresses.com
-Moderate to high
-plus size / cocktail / evening gown / ball gown / short
-shoes
www.beflirtydresses.com/
-High(due to the fact that they're priced in pounds)
-evening gown / ballgown / cocktail / plus size
-shoes / accessories
www.sungboutiquela.com/
-Cheap to Moderate
-evening gown / cocktail / prom gown / short / plus size
-purses
www.nexteve.com/
-Cheap to Moderate
-Ball gown / cocktail / plus size / evening gown
www.onlygowns.com
-Moderate to High
-Evening gowns / ball gowns / plus size / cocktail
www.ever-pretty.com/
-Cheap
-Cocktail / Evening gown
www.shopshop.com/
-Cheap to Moderate
-Evening gown / ball gown / short / plus size
www.simplydresses.com/
-Cheap to High
-Short / plus size / evening gown / ball gown
-Accesories / shoes
http://www.sydneyscloset.com
-Moderate to High
-All plus size dresses inc. ball gown, cocktail, etc.
-Accessories / shoes
www.edressme.com/
-Cheap to High
-Pluz size / cocktail / ball gown / petite
-Accessories
www.preciousformals.com/
-No price found
-Cocktail / evening gown / ball gown / short
www.calitoprom.com
-Moderate
-Plus size / evening gown
www.gownsbysimpleelegance.com/
-Moderate to High
-Ball gown / evening gown
www.lightinthebox.com
-Cheap to Moderate
-Evening gown / ball gown / cocktail /
www.dressesonline.com
-Cheap
-Evening gown / plus size / ball gown
I hope all of you find an amazing dress - AND, please feel free to leave a comment regarding any other dress sites you've stumbled upon! I want all the ladies to be able to have AS MANY dress options as possible!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL - MUAH
xo.Jess
I've also gave a description of each of the sites underneath the link.
Cheap - Dresses under $150
Moderate - Dresses priced from $150-300
Expensive - Dressed $300+
www.bestpromdresses.com
-Moderate to high
-plus size / cocktail / evening gown / ball gown / short
-shoes
www.beflirtydresses.com/
-High(due to the fact that they're priced in pounds)
-evening gown / ballgown / cocktail / plus size
-shoes / accessories
www.sungboutiquela.com/
-Cheap to Moderate
-evening gown / cocktail / prom gown / short / plus size
-purses
www.nexteve.com/
-Cheap to Moderate
-Ball gown / cocktail / plus size / evening gown
www.onlygowns.com
-Moderate to High
-Evening gowns / ball gowns / plus size / cocktail
www.ever-pretty.com/
-Cheap
-Cocktail / Evening gown
www.shopshop.com/
-Cheap to Moderate
-Evening gown / ball gown / short / plus size
www.simplydresses.com/
-Cheap to High
-Short / plus size / evening gown / ball gown
-Accesories / shoes
http://www.sydneyscloset.com
-Moderate to High
-All plus size dresses inc. ball gown, cocktail, etc.
-Accessories / shoes
www.edressme.com/
-Cheap to High
-Pluz size / cocktail / ball gown / petite
-Accessories
www.preciousformals.com/
-No price found
-Cocktail / evening gown / ball gown / short
www.calitoprom.com
-Moderate
-Plus size / evening gown
www.gownsbysimpleelegance.com/
-Moderate to High
-Ball gown / evening gown
www.lightinthebox.com
-Cheap to Moderate
-Evening gown / ball gown / cocktail /
www.dressesonline.com
-Cheap
-Evening gown / plus size / ball gown
I hope all of you find an amazing dress - AND, please feel free to leave a comment regarding any other dress sites you've stumbled upon! I want all the ladies to be able to have AS MANY dress options as possible!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL - MUAH
xo.Jess
Friday, December 12, 2008
INFO ON NEW MOON!!!
So below is a link for a ton of info on New Moon: the next insallment of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga books made movies!!! The site is AMAZING and it seems they are posting new and helpful info all the time!!! Check the site regularly as it seems to have the most info on New Moon at the moment!
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
www.newmoonmovie.org
S. Meyer's Official Website!
Just a link to Stephenie Meyer's official website. You can find information on her books as well as info regarding the twilight movie!!! It's a great sight, check it out!
www.StephenieMeyer.com
www.StephenieMeyer.com
Twicon 2009
So I haven't mentioned much about Twicon or what it is, all I've said is that I'm going! It's from July 30th - August 2nd 2009 in Dallas, Tx and basically it's a convention surrounding Twilight!!! Exciting, I know right!?!?!? The organizers of Twicon 2009 have worked their butts off to put it together and even though there is still over 7 months until the event, they've already put together QUITE a bit of amazingness! They have a bunch of the twilight cast already signed on to appear, they have a ball as well as a vendor hall, workshops and more! To find out more information visit www.twicon.org
xo. Jess
xo. Jess
Chris Weitz IS Directing New Moon - Confirmed
CLICK HERE!!!
CLICK HERE!!!
CLICK HERE!!!
The above post is a link confirming that Chris Weitz had indeed signed on to direct New Moon - The Next book made movie in the Twilight saga.
Now...I'm optimistic, I truly am...he's helped do a lot of good things such direct American Pie and produce Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist...however...the only thing that is making me hesitant was the role he played in making the movie "The Golden Compass." If anyone has seen The Golden Compass and read the books, they'll know what I'm talking about. His Dark Materials trilogy which includes The Golden Compass as book one has always been in my top 5 list of reads... I read it once a year and I LOVE IT. When I heard it was being made into a movie, I became extremely excited...when I saw the movie, I wanted to cry. Not only did Chris Weitz Direct The Golden Compass, but he also was one of the writers. He had a HUGE part in the making of that movie.
This time around, I'd love to see him really try and include all of the book and listen to what the fans want. I have faith that it'll be a good movie so we shall just have to see what happens!!!
CLICK HERE!!!
CLICK HERE!!!
The above post is a link confirming that Chris Weitz had indeed signed on to direct New Moon - The Next book made movie in the Twilight saga.
Now...I'm optimistic, I truly am...he's helped do a lot of good things such direct American Pie and produce Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist...however...the only thing that is making me hesitant was the role he played in making the movie "The Golden Compass." If anyone has seen The Golden Compass and read the books, they'll know what I'm talking about. His Dark Materials trilogy which includes The Golden Compass as book one has always been in my top 5 list of reads... I read it once a year and I LOVE IT. When I heard it was being made into a movie, I became extremely excited...when I saw the movie, I wanted to cry. Not only did Chris Weitz Direct The Golden Compass, but he also was one of the writers. He had a HUGE part in the making of that movie.
This time around, I'd love to see him really try and include all of the book and listen to what the fans want. I have faith that it'll be a good movie so we shall just have to see what happens!!!
Twilight Dolls?!?!?!
So a while back I had heard rumours that they were making dolls based on the twilight cast... well today I stumbled on the link to the dolls...I don't quite know what to make of it but hey... I guess where there is money to be made, people will be cashing out! If you wanna peek at the dolls click here
xo.Jess
xo.Jess
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Did I Bite Off More Than I Can Chew?
It's been forever since I really wrote about anything going on in my life...I guess I've re-directed my priorities(and not in a positive way) to say the least.
My first topic of conversation will be Twilight, Twicon and everything related to it. I feel like in the last month, it's consumed me. I just go through these phases where I focus all of my energy on one thing. I signed up to go to twicon last month. Twicon is a twilight convention(so nerdy, I know right?) down in Dallas, Tx that has lots of stars slated to attend as well as many other things going on. After I signed up, I started talking to other people that were attending through the forums and chatroom...Almost immedietely I have felt a sense of attachment to them which is weird, cause that NEVER happens!!! I can honestly say though that I've thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Emily, Kaelie, Dana, Katie-Poo, April, Sam, Kat, Melch, B, Ti, Liz and so many others!!!
With that being said, it leads in to my next topic which is the reason for my title! I've been talking to them so immensely this last month that I'm planning on going down with Brit to meet up with them and hang out... Not only was I under a constant worry of pressure from before trying to find the money for europe, but now I've added another two vacations on top of that. With all this worrying about finding the funds for it, I'm wondering if I've made the right choices...I can still back out of course, but I don't want to...and I know I'd feel worse off if I did. I just keep living by this motto that I want to do anything and everything and so be it - I shall do it! Apparently this motto might not work all the time...it seems to be getting me into some binds and I still feel unhappy with myself. If all goes well though this year *knock on wood* the vacations I'm going on are:
Banff: January 2-4 2009 (Not much of a vacation but whatevs)
Texas/Alabama: February 12-19 2009
Europe: April 27(ish)- June 10(ish) 2009
Twicon(Dallas, Tx): July 28th - August 4th 2009
Mexico/California: Sept 10-20 2009
And then I want to go back to Cali for the premier of New Moon and just to go back.
Ughhhhhh *whines a little* Why do I have to be so unhappy with my life that I'm constantly wanting everything? Not in the materialistic sense but I just want to DO and SEE and BE everything! I want to be in a million places at once...it's so dang frustrating!!! I also want to start making a new years resolution...except it's not so much as a resolution as it is just a list of things that I want to stop putting off...So far I figure my list will include the following:
-Save money and or take a second job
-Pay off credit card
-Lose the weight that I've been wanting to lose for forever
-Take dancing lessons
-Find a good monologue piece and start rehearsing
-Look into some sort of theatre workshops to get me back into the swing of things
-Establish ok-looking portfolio
-Research schools and make sure I figure out what I want to do with life
-Find my happiness with Alex or find a way to move on
-Get Blue cross or a job that has benefits so I can fix my stupid tooth
-Go to New York
-Go to the U.K.
-Finish writing my book that I've put off for way to long
Now I'll explain these in depth...Boring, I know!
I need to save money so that I can go to school or travel or have the freedom to do whatever I want on a whim.
I need to pay off my credit card because...well that's a given. I don't want bad credit.
Lose the weight I want to lose because sometime I feel like it holds me back from trying new things a.k.a...school...which I know it shouldn't...but when you're uncomfortable as not self-assured like I am, you get crazy notions in your head.
I don't want to be no ballerina or anything but I figured it I delved into dance a bit, I could round off my fine arts a bit more with dancing in my portfolio...it might make some things easier.
In order to apply for school for theatre arts, you must have a monologue prepared. I did Lady Macbeth in high school and although Shakespeare is impressive, I want something that conveys a wide range of emotions that I can use for other auditions and stuff.
My portfolio sucks period...and if I want to enjoy any happiness in acting, even if it's just local acting, I need something to present.
School...FUCK. That's all I can say. I have no idea WHERE I want to go or what I want to take. All I know is that I might need to do some upgrading AGAIN. I need to figure out what I want to do and stick with it. Theatre Arts was always on the top of the list but I've always convinced myself it'd be a waste of time and money. Maybe I could give it a shot, who knows. I also wouldn't mind exploring an English degree...I never think that about pursuing something with english, but my marks in English have always been there and I always forget that I enjoy it...A LOT! Sometimes I don't feel smart enough though...I'm afraid of failure. My last option and the one that I keep sticking with seems to be Social work/Child and Youth. I know I'd be happy in it and I know I'd get accepted easily but I feel like I should go further because I don't know if I'm as passionate about it as other things. Don't get me wrong, I've always wanted to work with kids, one way or another...but doing something like social working, which I hardly even agree with just seems like an easy way out. I just want to get a move on...Go to school and build a future.
Alex. Self explanitory. I love him, it's been over five years but we're in a rock and a hard place...I feel him slipping away from me everyday and although I I get gut wrenching sensations of loneliness when he's not around, sometimes it feels as though I'm better off this way.
Umm...so a job with benefits would be friggin sweet! I wouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg for my glasses, or the doctor or the stupid dentist...UGHHH
New York and the U.K... two places I've read dreamed about visiting for as long as I can remember. I wanna go..end of story.
My book is...well it's a book. I started writing it who knows how long ago because I wanted to prove to myself I could follow through on something. I told myself it wasn't to meant to be anything except my own personal accomplishment. I've wrote quite a bit of it but then I just put it down one day and didn't look at it again. I just remembered that I got this overwhelming sensation that "a person like me CAN'T write a book." I think I can, I think I just lack the determination sometimes.
And there is my list...yeesh!!!
What else to talk about...something happy?!?!?! I feel like I've bitched this entire entry.
So I just recently read a series called The Black Dagger Brotherhood series. It seriously stole my heart. It even took my mind off of twilight! I read the 6 books in about 8 days! It's a vampire romance novel...very erotic and exotic and not something I'd normally read, but it completely captured me! I did beat a personal record and read 16 books in the month of November...it impressed me. Currently I'm reading some Demon series...I don't really know. It's not too bad, I have one more book left to read so we shall see! Umm...what else??? Christmas is coming! I'm SO lacking the spirit this year...I think it's cause I'm not working in the mall this year so I haven't heard the christmas music all day and people gushing about christmas...tomorrow I'm gonna get a move on with the christmas shopping. Also...I need to clean my room(s)...and do laundry. I'm slacking MAJORLY!!!
I think that is all I have to report on for now!
Other than the fact that CG is indeed having a baby... =( My heart hurts!
xo. Jess
My first topic of conversation will be Twilight, Twicon and everything related to it. I feel like in the last month, it's consumed me. I just go through these phases where I focus all of my energy on one thing. I signed up to go to twicon last month. Twicon is a twilight convention(so nerdy, I know right?) down in Dallas, Tx that has lots of stars slated to attend as well as many other things going on. After I signed up, I started talking to other people that were attending through the forums and chatroom...Almost immedietely I have felt a sense of attachment to them which is weird, cause that NEVER happens!!! I can honestly say though that I've thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Emily, Kaelie, Dana, Katie-Poo, April, Sam, Kat, Melch, B, Ti, Liz and so many others!!!
With that being said, it leads in to my next topic which is the reason for my title! I've been talking to them so immensely this last month that I'm planning on going down with Brit to meet up with them and hang out... Not only was I under a constant worry of pressure from before trying to find the money for europe, but now I've added another two vacations on top of that. With all this worrying about finding the funds for it, I'm wondering if I've made the right choices...I can still back out of course, but I don't want to...and I know I'd feel worse off if I did. I just keep living by this motto that I want to do anything and everything and so be it - I shall do it! Apparently this motto might not work all the time...it seems to be getting me into some binds and I still feel unhappy with myself. If all goes well though this year *knock on wood* the vacations I'm going on are:
Banff: January 2-4 2009 (Not much of a vacation but whatevs)
Texas/Alabama: February 12-19 2009
Europe: April 27(ish)- June 10(ish) 2009
Twicon(Dallas, Tx): July 28th - August 4th 2009
Mexico/California: Sept 10-20 2009
And then I want to go back to Cali for the premier of New Moon and just to go back.
Ughhhhhh *whines a little* Why do I have to be so unhappy with my life that I'm constantly wanting everything? Not in the materialistic sense but I just want to DO and SEE and BE everything! I want to be in a million places at once...it's so dang frustrating!!! I also want to start making a new years resolution...except it's not so much as a resolution as it is just a list of things that I want to stop putting off...So far I figure my list will include the following:
-Save money and or take a second job
-Pay off credit card
-Lose the weight that I've been wanting to lose for forever
-Take dancing lessons
-Find a good monologue piece and start rehearsing
-Look into some sort of theatre workshops to get me back into the swing of things
-Establish ok-looking portfolio
-Research schools and make sure I figure out what I want to do with life
-Find my happiness with Alex or find a way to move on
-Get Blue cross or a job that has benefits so I can fix my stupid tooth
-Go to New York
-Go to the U.K.
-Finish writing my book that I've put off for way to long
Now I'll explain these in depth...Boring, I know!
I need to save money so that I can go to school or travel or have the freedom to do whatever I want on a whim.
I need to pay off my credit card because...well that's a given. I don't want bad credit.
Lose the weight I want to lose because sometime I feel like it holds me back from trying new things a.k.a...school...which I know it shouldn't...but when you're uncomfortable as not self-assured like I am, you get crazy notions in your head.
I don't want to be no ballerina or anything but I figured it I delved into dance a bit, I could round off my fine arts a bit more with dancing in my portfolio...it might make some things easier.
In order to apply for school for theatre arts, you must have a monologue prepared. I did Lady Macbeth in high school and although Shakespeare is impressive, I want something that conveys a wide range of emotions that I can use for other auditions and stuff.
My portfolio sucks period...and if I want to enjoy any happiness in acting, even if it's just local acting, I need something to present.
School...FUCK. That's all I can say. I have no idea WHERE I want to go or what I want to take. All I know is that I might need to do some upgrading AGAIN. I need to figure out what I want to do and stick with it. Theatre Arts was always on the top of the list but I've always convinced myself it'd be a waste of time and money. Maybe I could give it a shot, who knows. I also wouldn't mind exploring an English degree...I never think that about pursuing something with english, but my marks in English have always been there and I always forget that I enjoy it...A LOT! Sometimes I don't feel smart enough though...I'm afraid of failure. My last option and the one that I keep sticking with seems to be Social work/Child and Youth. I know I'd be happy in it and I know I'd get accepted easily but I feel like I should go further because I don't know if I'm as passionate about it as other things. Don't get me wrong, I've always wanted to work with kids, one way or another...but doing something like social working, which I hardly even agree with just seems like an easy way out. I just want to get a move on...Go to school and build a future.
Alex. Self explanitory. I love him, it's been over five years but we're in a rock and a hard place...I feel him slipping away from me everyday and although I I get gut wrenching sensations of loneliness when he's not around, sometimes it feels as though I'm better off this way.
Umm...so a job with benefits would be friggin sweet! I wouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg for my glasses, or the doctor or the stupid dentist...UGHHH
New York and the U.K... two places I've read dreamed about visiting for as long as I can remember. I wanna go..end of story.
My book is...well it's a book. I started writing it who knows how long ago because I wanted to prove to myself I could follow through on something. I told myself it wasn't to meant to be anything except my own personal accomplishment. I've wrote quite a bit of it but then I just put it down one day and didn't look at it again. I just remembered that I got this overwhelming sensation that "a person like me CAN'T write a book." I think I can, I think I just lack the determination sometimes.
And there is my list...yeesh!!!
What else to talk about...something happy?!?!?! I feel like I've bitched this entire entry.
So I just recently read a series called The Black Dagger Brotherhood series. It seriously stole my heart. It even took my mind off of twilight! I read the 6 books in about 8 days! It's a vampire romance novel...very erotic and exotic and not something I'd normally read, but it completely captured me! I did beat a personal record and read 16 books in the month of November...it impressed me. Currently I'm reading some Demon series...I don't really know. It's not too bad, I have one more book left to read so we shall see! Umm...what else??? Christmas is coming! I'm SO lacking the spirit this year...I think it's cause I'm not working in the mall this year so I haven't heard the christmas music all day and people gushing about christmas...tomorrow I'm gonna get a move on with the christmas shopping. Also...I need to clean my room(s)...and do laundry. I'm slacking MAJORLY!!!
I think that is all I have to report on for now!
Other than the fact that CG is indeed having a baby... =( My heart hurts!
xo. Jess
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Be Safe!!!
TWILIGHT!!!
Last night I went to go see twilight with Nikki and Britt. Nikki and I got there pretty early and ended up waiting in line for over two hours. It was lame but so worth it! As always, the books are always better but I thought it was a good companion piece. I think they did a good job at matching the character in the book to the actor/actress. First half of the movie wasn't so good. Acting was a bit forced and the storyline was completely different than the book but nonetheless...it was AMAZING. Cam Gigandet...oh man! He made the movie, as always, he plays an awesome bad guy! I'm so excited to see the Unborn though which comes out January 9 2009. He FINALLY plays a good guy...I hope he doesn't die haha! I plan on going to see twilight at least...six more times in theatres! We'll see how that goes. I need to beat my current theatre record which is P.S. I Love You. I saw it six times in theatres...pretty crazy. I'm gonna try and go tomorrow and then next Friday. Twilight is amazing...seriously! I fell in love with the soundtrack before I even saw the movie and while watching the movie, I fell in love even more with each song. The only song that I wasn't a hundred percent fond of at first was Bella's Lullaby but after watching the movie, its jumped to my current fave!
"I'm definitely fighting fate trying to keep you alive."
-EC
Last night I went to go see twilight with Nikki and Britt. Nikki and I got there pretty early and ended up waiting in line for over two hours. It was lame but so worth it! As always, the books are always better but I thought it was a good companion piece. I think they did a good job at matching the character in the book to the actor/actress. First half of the movie wasn't so good. Acting was a bit forced and the storyline was completely different than the book but nonetheless...it was AMAZING. Cam Gigandet...oh man! He made the movie, as always, he plays an awesome bad guy! I'm so excited to see the Unborn though which comes out January 9 2009. He FINALLY plays a good guy...I hope he doesn't die haha! I plan on going to see twilight at least...six more times in theatres! We'll see how that goes. I need to beat my current theatre record which is P.S. I Love You. I saw it six times in theatres...pretty crazy. I'm gonna try and go tomorrow and then next Friday. Twilight is amazing...seriously! I fell in love with the soundtrack before I even saw the movie and while watching the movie, I fell in love even more with each song. The only song that I wasn't a hundred percent fond of at first was Bella's Lullaby but after watching the movie, its jumped to my current fave!
"I'm definitely fighting fate trying to keep you alive."
-EC
Sunday, November 16, 2008
TWILIGHT!!!
-I have my Twilight ticket. I'm so excited. I love Cam Gigandet - seriously. He is beautiful!
FRIDAY...FRIDAY...FRIDAY!!!
FRIDAY...FRIDAY...FRIDAY!!!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Elect...?
So it's November...another month and 2008 is OVER!
Today is election day in the U.S.A. and to be honest, I wish I could be voting in their election. I didn't vote in my election at the beginning of the month, I'm not even registered to vote and to be honest, I don't even know the policies or the people I'd be voting for. I never took enough time to pay attention to Canadian politics and I know, that's definitely going to come back and bite me in the ass. I don't want to be one of those apathetic people who bitch about every last aspect of their life, blaming it all on the government but yet never even got up and voted once! I have been following the U.S. election for the last year...the ups and the downs, their VP picks, policies and nomination speeches as I'm sure many have. I and apparently the rest of the world hopes Obama wins. I think he deserves to win and I think America deserves to put him in office as well as the rest of the world. I think he'll shake things up and bring a new perspective to the problems that America and the rest of the world are facing...I think I like him because he's different. And I don't mean different because he's African-American or because he's democratic when the white house has been republican for the last 8 years...I just mean different. He seems more grounded...basically just more awesome! Therefore, I hope he pulls a victory today!
Anyways, while I sit here, I'm going to try to think of a christmas list for my mother and then if I compile a good one on here then I shall transfer it to paper. I want...
-A soft suitcase that expands x123121 so that I can take hardly nothing to europe and come back with EVERYTHING!
-Euros/Francs
-Travel pillow/blanket
-adapter for european plug-ins
-an awesome blow dryer cause mine sucks
-Tiffany's signature heart necklace
-Grey&White striped bra from La Vie
-knitted purple scarf & mittens from my Oma
I can't think of anything else but that's a pretty good list so far.
Onto other things. I saw Zach & Miri Make a Porno the other day and I loved it...it was probably the best movie I've seen in a while. It was of course, completely about what the title says and quite vulgar but it had a really cute love story. It was cute. Some movies that I really want to see are:
-Rock 'n' Rolla
-Role Models
-Changeling
-Four Christmases
-HSM3
-Twilight
-He's Just Not That Into You
-Confessions of a Shopaholic
-Bride Wars
Theres more but whatevs.
I'm reading Twilight right now...sooooo good. It's getting me back into my reading phase. I don't think I've picked up a book in at least 3 months. SO! In the coming months/years this is what I have planned...
Europe - April 28th(ish) - June 8th(ish)
Mexican Cruise/California September - 8th(ish) - September 20th
New York - December 13th-20th
Europe - April&May 2010
and then after that I should probably go to school. I'm hoping that I can find work abroad or go to school somewhere else but that probably won't happen. Dream big though right? I love travelling too much I think?
Anyways I'm off to read/work!
P.S.
1. Cam Gigandet
2. James Lafferty
3. David Beckham
4. Chad Michael Murray
5. Channing Tatum
6. Robert Pattison
7. Chace Crawford
8. Sean Faris
9. Justin Timberlake
10. Gerard Butler
;)
;)
;)
Today is election day in the U.S.A. and to be honest, I wish I could be voting in their election. I didn't vote in my election at the beginning of the month, I'm not even registered to vote and to be honest, I don't even know the policies or the people I'd be voting for. I never took enough time to pay attention to Canadian politics and I know, that's definitely going to come back and bite me in the ass. I don't want to be one of those apathetic people who bitch about every last aspect of their life, blaming it all on the government but yet never even got up and voted once! I have been following the U.S. election for the last year...the ups and the downs, their VP picks, policies and nomination speeches as I'm sure many have. I and apparently the rest of the world hopes Obama wins. I think he deserves to win and I think America deserves to put him in office as well as the rest of the world. I think he'll shake things up and bring a new perspective to the problems that America and the rest of the world are facing...I think I like him because he's different. And I don't mean different because he's African-American or because he's democratic when the white house has been republican for the last 8 years...I just mean different. He seems more grounded...basically just more awesome! Therefore, I hope he pulls a victory today!
Anyways, while I sit here, I'm going to try to think of a christmas list for my mother and then if I compile a good one on here then I shall transfer it to paper. I want...
-A soft suitcase that expands x123121 so that I can take hardly nothing to europe and come back with EVERYTHING!
-Euros/Francs
-Travel pillow/blanket
-adapter for european plug-ins
-an awesome blow dryer cause mine sucks
-Tiffany's signature heart necklace
-Grey&White striped bra from La Vie
-knitted purple scarf & mittens from my Oma
I can't think of anything else but that's a pretty good list so far.
Onto other things. I saw Zach & Miri Make a Porno the other day and I loved it...it was probably the best movie I've seen in a while. It was of course, completely about what the title says and quite vulgar but it had a really cute love story. It was cute. Some movies that I really want to see are:
-Rock 'n' Rolla
-Role Models
-Changeling
-Four Christmases
-HSM3
-Twilight
-He's Just Not That Into You
-Confessions of a Shopaholic
-Bride Wars
Theres more but whatevs.
I'm reading Twilight right now...sooooo good. It's getting me back into my reading phase. I don't think I've picked up a book in at least 3 months. SO! In the coming months/years this is what I have planned...
Europe - April 28th(ish) - June 8th(ish)
Mexican Cruise/California September - 8th(ish) - September 20th
New York - December 13th-20th
Europe - April&May 2010
and then after that I should probably go to school. I'm hoping that I can find work abroad or go to school somewhere else but that probably won't happen. Dream big though right? I love travelling too much I think?
Anyways I'm off to read/work!
P.S.
1. Cam Gigandet
2. James Lafferty
3. David Beckham
4. Chad Michael Murray
5. Channing Tatum
6. Robert Pattison
7. Chace Crawford
8. Sean Faris
9. Justin Timberlake
10. Gerard Butler
;)
;)
;)
Monday, October 20, 2008
L.S. <3
And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone."
It's raining pretty colors!
So yesterday...super interesting day...NOT! Alex and I watched the entire second season of HEROES! It was awesome, I love Peter and Nathan and all of them.
The person with the cottage in Ireland called Heather and Reanna so "knock on wood" that's almost finalized which will be great cause then we can start buying our tickets and get the ball rolling. I'm so excited to go, it's pretty much all I can think about. Europe is a huge committment with lots of "what ifs" but I really want to go to the point where I'm willing to save the copious amounts of money I need to save and do whatever it takes to be able to go when May rolls around.
Still don't know what I'm doing for halloween...lame
What's up Calgary Flames...?
No part-time job yet...boo
P.S. Autumn is amazing...soooo pretty. I just wish I could walk down one of those streets in the movies where there is perfectly lined tall trees that have all different colored leaves just sprinkling down on your head!
<3<3<3<3
The person with the cottage in Ireland called Heather and Reanna so "knock on wood" that's almost finalized which will be great cause then we can start buying our tickets and get the ball rolling. I'm so excited to go, it's pretty much all I can think about. Europe is a huge committment with lots of "what ifs" but I really want to go to the point where I'm willing to save the copious amounts of money I need to save and do whatever it takes to be able to go when May rolls around.
Still don't know what I'm doing for halloween...lame
What's up Calgary Flames...?
No part-time job yet...boo
P.S. Autumn is amazing...soooo pretty. I just wish I could walk down one of those streets in the movies where there is perfectly lined tall trees that have all different colored leaves just sprinkling down on your head!
<3<3<3<3
Thursday, October 16, 2008
So What?
WORST HAIRCUT EVER!!!
Okay I just had to blurt that out. I went to get my haircut on Wednesday night...just a trim, nothing special, and well let's just say, when all was said and done...I was the proud owner of a new mullet!!! Haha seriously though, it's pretty awful. I'm hesitant to even say that I would wish this on my worst enemy. My bangs are so short, awfully short =( makes me a little sad.
So Reanna is completely stressed about Europe which is in turn, stressing me out. For real! We seem to be butting heads and there is no way to make eachother see our own point of views. Heather decided that the three of us would create our own agendas based on what we would like to see and do and then come together and share our itineraries and see what we have common and where we're butting heads. So I'm going over there tonight and we shall see what will come of it.
No part time job yet...poo =(
Okay I just had to blurt that out. I went to get my haircut on Wednesday night...just a trim, nothing special, and well let's just say, when all was said and done...I was the proud owner of a new mullet!!! Haha seriously though, it's pretty awful. I'm hesitant to even say that I would wish this on my worst enemy. My bangs are so short, awfully short =( makes me a little sad.
So Reanna is completely stressed about Europe which is in turn, stressing me out. For real! We seem to be butting heads and there is no way to make eachother see our own point of views. Heather decided that the three of us would create our own agendas based on what we would like to see and do and then come together and share our itineraries and see what we have common and where we're butting heads. So I'm going over there tonight and we shall see what will come of it.
No part time job yet...poo =(
Monday, October 13, 2008
Turkey Day!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!
My family is at home enjoying a nice relaxing peaceful thanksgiving and I'm stuck here at boring old work, dealing with customers and their very bizarre questions all day.
Today I am thankful for...
My family
Alex
Nikki
my freedom
I'm also thankful for the couple of photographs that I have left of T.J. I'm putting together a photo album for my aunt and I'm looking at all the old photos of my family but there is none of T.J. When he passed away in 2000, my mom gave all of our photos to my aunt so she could make a collage. That was back in the day when you couldn't just run to Wal-Mart and make copies of all of them...soooo needless to say, since then, we haven't got any of the pictures back and nor do we know, if any of those pictures are still in existance.
This weekend was a pretty boring weekend. I worked Saturday, went out to Justin's show on Saturday night, it was good fun. Yesterday was the actual day my family celebrated Thanksgiving...so all day I did nothing at all. I watched 3 episodes of Friends, Spider-man 3, Fight Club, War of the Worlds, What a Girl Wants...and a lot more...yea I was bored! I always forget how sweet Fight Club is! My mom made lots of yummy food yesterday. Fresh homemade cheese buns (yum), homemade bits & bites (yum), lemon meringue pie (yum again) and more!
Anyways, I'm off to work or watch One Tree Hill or do something semi-productive. I just wanted to post a really nice Sheryl Crow song...it's called "I Shall Believe" and I'm hooked on it right now. It was featured on the end of a One Tree Hill episode..."suprisingly" called "I Shall Believe" haha! It's a great episode and I loved one of the last scenes. In a previous episode Haley and Lucas had been fighting and then he got into an accident and was put in a coma. Haley was really upset and when he finally woke up she went to see him and she just layed there crying and they didn't have to actually say sorry to eachother, you could just tell that they were. It was nice. Anyways yea, enough with the babbling...LYRICS!
Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
My family is at home enjoying a nice relaxing peaceful thanksgiving and I'm stuck here at boring old work, dealing with customers and their very bizarre questions all day.
Today I am thankful for...
My family
Alex
Nikki
my freedom
I'm also thankful for the couple of photographs that I have left of T.J. I'm putting together a photo album for my aunt and I'm looking at all the old photos of my family but there is none of T.J. When he passed away in 2000, my mom gave all of our photos to my aunt so she could make a collage. That was back in the day when you couldn't just run to Wal-Mart and make copies of all of them...soooo needless to say, since then, we haven't got any of the pictures back and nor do we know, if any of those pictures are still in existance.
This weekend was a pretty boring weekend. I worked Saturday, went out to Justin's show on Saturday night, it was good fun. Yesterday was the actual day my family celebrated Thanksgiving...so all day I did nothing at all. I watched 3 episodes of Friends, Spider-man 3, Fight Club, War of the Worlds, What a Girl Wants...and a lot more...yea I was bored! I always forget how sweet Fight Club is! My mom made lots of yummy food yesterday. Fresh homemade cheese buns (yum), homemade bits & bites (yum), lemon meringue pie (yum again) and more!
Anyways, I'm off to work or watch One Tree Hill or do something semi-productive. I just wanted to post a really nice Sheryl Crow song...it's called "I Shall Believe" and I'm hooked on it right now. It was featured on the end of a One Tree Hill episode..."suprisingly" called "I Shall Believe" haha! It's a great episode and I loved one of the last scenes. In a previous episode Haley and Lucas had been fighting and then he got into an accident and was put in a coma. Haley was really upset and when he finally woke up she went to see him and she just layed there crying and they didn't have to actually say sorry to eachother, you could just tell that they were. It was nice. Anyways yea, enough with the babbling...LYRICS!
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
2 cents?
Life is confusing
people are confusing
relationships are confusing
...
end of story!
P.S. Don't Mess With the Zohan or whatever it may be called. Not only is it the worst Adam Sandler movie in history...but it's also the worst movie in history period! So disappointed. What happened to movies like Happy Gilmore and the Wedding Singer and Chuck and Larry? GARBAGE!!! 110% Trash...don't see it, don't buy it, don't rent it...NOT WORTH IT! I do want to see Body of Lies though. It comes out on Friday... Dicaprio and Crowe...awesome!
people are confusing
relationships are confusing
...
end of story!
P.S. Don't Mess With the Zohan or whatever it may be called. Not only is it the worst Adam Sandler movie in history...but it's also the worst movie in history period! So disappointed. What happened to movies like Happy Gilmore and the Wedding Singer and Chuck and Larry? GARBAGE!!! 110% Trash...don't see it, don't buy it, don't rent it...NOT WORTH IT! I do want to see Body of Lies though. It comes out on Friday... Dicaprio and Crowe...awesome!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Question Thing - May 14 2008
So here is another little thing taken off my Nex blog. I did this little survey question thing on May 14 2008. I want to re-take it right now...less than 5 months later and see how my answers have changed...interestinggggggggggggg!
THEN!!!
Answer with your Top 5, Answer will change constantly, just go with what they are RIGHT NOW
Top 5 Movies
1. P.S. I Love You
2. Fight Club
3. Knocked Up
4. The Holiday
5. Love Actually
Top 5 Songs
1. Rocketship - Shiny Toy Guns
2. Revolution - The Beatles
3. So Small - Carrie Underwood
4. Stripper - Sohodolls
5. Damaged - Plumb
Top 5 Solo Music Artists
1. Josh Groban
2. Justin Timberlake
3. Elton John
4. Christina Aguilera
5. Lupe Fiasco
Top 5 Bands
1. Shiny Toy Guns
2. The Beatles
3. The Postal Service
4. Blink 182
5. No Use For A Name
Top 5 TV Shows
1. Heroes
2. NCIS
3. 24
4. Bones
5. CSI
Top 5 Video Games
1. Guitar Hero
2. Mario Party 8
3. Super Mario World
4. Super Smash Bros - Brawl
5. Zelda
Top 5 Drinks
1. Pepsi
2. Lemonade
3. Rev
4. Fresca
5. Daiquiris
NOW!!!
Answer with your Top 5, Answer will change constantly, just go with what they are RIGHT NOW
Top 5 Movies
1. P.S. I Love You
2. Fight Club
3. Knocked Up
4. The Holiday
5. Love Actually
Top 5 Songs
1. Halo - Bethany Joy Galeotti
2. Hallelujah - Kate Voegele/Rufus Wainwright
3. I Dare You to Move - Switchfoot
4. Fallen Angel - Chris Brown
5. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
Top 5 Solo Music Artists
1. Gavin Degraw
2. Bethany Joy Galeotti
3. Elton John
4. Christina Aguilera
5. Taylor Swift
Top 5 Bands
1. Dashboard Confessional
2. The Beatles
3. Oasis
4. Blink 182
5. No Use For A Name
Top 5 TV Shows
1. The O.C.
2. Heroes
3. NCIS
4. One Tree Hill
5. Gossip Girl
Top 5 Video Games
1. Guitar Hero
2. Rock Band
3. Super Mario World
4. Super Smash Bros - Brawl
5. Zelda
Top 5 Drinks
1. Pepsi
2. Lemonade
3. Rev
4. Fresca
5. Summer Strawberry (Jugo Juice)
So a bit stayed the same... like movies...but music and t.v. shows changed a bit!
THEN!!!
Answer with your Top 5, Answer will change constantly, just go with what they are RIGHT NOW
Top 5 Movies
1. P.S. I Love You
2. Fight Club
3. Knocked Up
4. The Holiday
5. Love Actually
Top 5 Songs
1. Rocketship - Shiny Toy Guns
2. Revolution - The Beatles
3. So Small - Carrie Underwood
4. Stripper - Sohodolls
5. Damaged - Plumb
Top 5 Solo Music Artists
1. Josh Groban
2. Justin Timberlake
3. Elton John
4. Christina Aguilera
5. Lupe Fiasco
Top 5 Bands
1. Shiny Toy Guns
2. The Beatles
3. The Postal Service
4. Blink 182
5. No Use For A Name
Top 5 TV Shows
1. Heroes
2. NCIS
3. 24
4. Bones
5. CSI
Top 5 Video Games
1. Guitar Hero
2. Mario Party 8
3. Super Mario World
4. Super Smash Bros - Brawl
5. Zelda
Top 5 Drinks
1. Pepsi
2. Lemonade
3. Rev
4. Fresca
5. Daiquiris
NOW!!!
Answer with your Top 5, Answer will change constantly, just go with what they are RIGHT NOW
Top 5 Movies
1. P.S. I Love You
2. Fight Club
3. Knocked Up
4. The Holiday
5. Love Actually
Top 5 Songs
1. Halo - Bethany Joy Galeotti
2. Hallelujah - Kate Voegele/Rufus Wainwright
3. I Dare You to Move - Switchfoot
4. Fallen Angel - Chris Brown
5. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
Top 5 Solo Music Artists
1. Gavin Degraw
2. Bethany Joy Galeotti
3. Elton John
4. Christina Aguilera
5. Taylor Swift
Top 5 Bands
1. Dashboard Confessional
2. The Beatles
3. Oasis
4. Blink 182
5. No Use For A Name
Top 5 TV Shows
1. The O.C.
2. Heroes
3. NCIS
4. One Tree Hill
5. Gossip Girl
Top 5 Video Games
1. Guitar Hero
2. Rock Band
3. Super Mario World
4. Super Smash Bros - Brawl
5. Zelda
Top 5 Drinks
1. Pepsi
2. Lemonade
3. Rev
4. Fresca
5. Summer Strawberry (Jugo Juice)
So a bit stayed the same... like movies...but music and t.v. shows changed a bit!
Miss Cockhole (May 21 2008)
So I wrote this little entry in my Nex blog a while back... It's a little mean, a little harsh but I like the passion in it. Do I feel this way about the person who this is about today? Definitely not, do I still dislike her of course. I wanted to keep it to remember how I felt, because it's important not to lose sight of how much anger, or love or sadness you once had in your life. It keeps you in check and makes you evaluate or re-evaluate things in your current life.
Stop and take a minute to think. Think about the way you want something, think about how you feel when you've got and then think about the way you feel when you've lost it. For the longest time I just wanted a friend who would put as much effort into a friendship as I do. Who wanted to be spontaneous with me and carefree. When I finally found a friend like that, I was on top of the world. Within months we had become super close...and just like that it went away. When we were friends, I though that she was the most honest, fun, supportive friend EVER... boy was I wrong. Basically what I'm trying to say through all this rambling is.... hold on to what you have and be THANKFUL for it. Yea my best friend doesn't necessarily like to be spontaneous and go on random adventures, but she's always been there for me. I've always been able to trust her with everything and even though we just sit and do nothing for hours, we still manage to laugh our asses off and make a good time of it...and when it comes to crunch time, I know she'll never leave my side. I don't want to take that for granted anymore because I found out that the ones that say they're gonna be there for you(fucking dumb broad), are the ones who will abandon you the fastest with not a single care as to your well-being. They'll let people stomp all over your emotions when they supposedly call you their best friend, they'll let you take the tab for a 1000dollar plane ride, they'll let you leave all your other friends and promise that they'll be there for your birthday and then leave you HIGH and DRY!
So...CHEERS!!! Here's to you! The WORSTbest friend anyone could ever ask for.
P.S. Everyone can see that you're a fake piece of shit and you're lucky that the 4 people you have in your life can tolerate all the bullshit you hand out cause other than them, no one wants to be around you....and if I EVER see you anywhere other than work, I WILL either
a) spit on you
b) spit in my drink and then pour it on you
c) rip out your nasty ass horse hair
d) Make your ugly ass face a little uglier!
HOORAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop and take a minute to think. Think about the way you want something, think about how you feel when you've got and then think about the way you feel when you've lost it. For the longest time I just wanted a friend who would put as much effort into a friendship as I do. Who wanted to be spontaneous with me and carefree. When I finally found a friend like that, I was on top of the world. Within months we had become super close...and just like that it went away. When we were friends, I though that she was the most honest, fun, supportive friend EVER... boy was I wrong. Basically what I'm trying to say through all this rambling is.... hold on to what you have and be THANKFUL for it. Yea my best friend doesn't necessarily like to be spontaneous and go on random adventures, but she's always been there for me. I've always been able to trust her with everything and even though we just sit and do nothing for hours, we still manage to laugh our asses off and make a good time of it...and when it comes to crunch time, I know she'll never leave my side. I don't want to take that for granted anymore because I found out that the ones that say they're gonna be there for you(fucking dumb broad), are the ones who will abandon you the fastest with not a single care as to your well-being. They'll let people stomp all over your emotions when they supposedly call you their best friend, they'll let you take the tab for a 1000dollar plane ride, they'll let you leave all your other friends and promise that they'll be there for your birthday and then leave you HIGH and DRY!
So...CHEERS!!! Here's to you! The WORST
P.S. Everyone can see that you're a fake piece of shit and you're lucky that the 4 people you have in your life can tolerate all the bullshit you hand out cause other than them, no one wants to be around you....and if I EVER see you anywhere other than work, I WILL either
a) spit on you
b) spit in my drink and then pour it on you
c) rip out your nasty ass horse hair
d) Make your ugly ass face a little uglier!
HOORAH!!!!!!!!!!!
But it's right for me, I believe.
Another boring day at work...
2.25 hours down, 5.75 hours to go!
Haha I'm so lame...and bored among other things. I was gonna watch One Tree Hill for a bit but I thought I'd update a bit. OTH btw...is pretty much my obsession. I haven't watched season 5 yet but I will. I just go through these phases with T.V. shows where I watch them like crazy...seriously it will take me like a day to watch an entire season! I don't watch much television but I do like watching t.v. series when they come out on DVD. I've done this with...24, NCIS, CSI, Heroes, Criminal Minds, The O.C., Sex and the City, Bones...and more probably. I'm thinking about watching Dawson's Creek next. Or 90210...the old one. I have the first season on DVD but I just couldn't get into it. Whatevs. I think I like t.v. series more than I like movies. Mainly because you can really see a person develop throughout a series and you can really get a feeling for a character whereas in a movie you have 2 hours to determine what kind of person that character is. Fuck, I'm bored...sitting here talking about t.v. shows. In other news... I've been lacking in the literature department lately so I went and picked up Twilight the other day. Apparently it's like the new Harry Potter. I didn't really read HP past the third book but everyone is raving about this series. The Twilight movie comes out in December with Cam Gigandet playing the bad guy. *sigh* he is my love haha, seriously though...gorgeous. I'd like to see him play the good guy once but I guess he just gives off that bad guy persona...we'll see how it plays out. He has long hair in this movie(weird).
Also.. I feel like I'm in limbo right now...I WANT to go back to school and all that good stuff but I really want to travel a bit more. I was planning on going back to school in Sept '09 but now I'm going to California and on a mexican cruise...which isn't a big thing but I don't want to wait to much long past that. If I go back to school at that time I'll be 21. Which means if I take a 4-year course, I'd be 25, still young and able to enjoy life. I know some would say that I need to get my priorities straight and start thinking about my future and I am, but I just don't have the same views as others have. I want to do what I went, when I want. I'm young and free and soon life will steal that away from me and I'll have to get serious. So why can't I see the things I wanna see and do the things that I want to do...so that I never have any regrets? The real world will always be there when I get back from whatever it is that I'm doing and that is something that I nor anyone else can hide from. I've been frantically searching for a part time job because I really really really want to go to Europe in May...like more than anything. As of right now, I don't know if I will be able to do it. I know I will be able to go but probably not for the full 2months that I wanted to go for. We'll see how that goes.
Halloween is soon....what to be, what to be. I'll probably end up being something dumb because I'm so indecisive which is lame. Also, I have the most last minute friends ever...and so Nikki and I keep saying we need to figure out if we are going on a pub crawl or going to a house party...and we wanted to hang out with all of our friends but their all being so indecisive that me and Nikki are just going to have to decide what we want to do with or without them.
The airport is boring today...nothing special going on. Nikki doesn't get in till 1:30 and there is really no other interesting people here. A year ago, some of my closest friends worked at the airport with me. Terri, Jenn, Yuka, Kumi, Amanda, Rachelle... there was a lot of us...and we had so much fun...but eventually they all got sick of the airport and left...leaving just me which is pooey. I really don't mind the airport to be honest. It's interesting to talk to all the different people of the world. Don't get me wrong, it drives me fucking bonkers sometimes but for the most part, it's a good place to work. My boss is kind of a huge fucking tool but I see him like once every two months so I can't complain.
Anyways, nothing else to report or randomly ramble about so I will exit with an awesome Martin Luther King Jr. quote.
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
2.25 hours down, 5.75 hours to go!
Haha I'm so lame...and bored among other things. I was gonna watch One Tree Hill for a bit but I thought I'd update a bit. OTH btw...is pretty much my obsession. I haven't watched season 5 yet but I will. I just go through these phases with T.V. shows where I watch them like crazy...seriously it will take me like a day to watch an entire season! I don't watch much television but I do like watching t.v. series when they come out on DVD. I've done this with...24, NCIS, CSI, Heroes, Criminal Minds, The O.C., Sex and the City, Bones...and more probably. I'm thinking about watching Dawson's Creek next. Or 90210...the old one. I have the first season on DVD but I just couldn't get into it. Whatevs. I think I like t.v. series more than I like movies. Mainly because you can really see a person develop throughout a series and you can really get a feeling for a character whereas in a movie you have 2 hours to determine what kind of person that character is. Fuck, I'm bored...sitting here talking about t.v. shows. In other news... I've been lacking in the literature department lately so I went and picked up Twilight the other day. Apparently it's like the new Harry Potter. I didn't really read HP past the third book but everyone is raving about this series. The Twilight movie comes out in December with Cam Gigandet playing the bad guy. *sigh* he is my love haha, seriously though...gorgeous. I'd like to see him play the good guy once but I guess he just gives off that bad guy persona...we'll see how it plays out. He has long hair in this movie(weird).
Also.. I feel like I'm in limbo right now...I WANT to go back to school and all that good stuff but I really want to travel a bit more. I was planning on going back to school in Sept '09 but now I'm going to California and on a mexican cruise...which isn't a big thing but I don't want to wait to much long past that. If I go back to school at that time I'll be 21. Which means if I take a 4-year course, I'd be 25, still young and able to enjoy life. I know some would say that I need to get my priorities straight and start thinking about my future and I am, but I just don't have the same views as others have. I want to do what I went, when I want. I'm young and free and soon life will steal that away from me and I'll have to get serious. So why can't I see the things I wanna see and do the things that I want to do...so that I never have any regrets? The real world will always be there when I get back from whatever it is that I'm doing and that is something that I nor anyone else can hide from. I've been frantically searching for a part time job because I really really really want to go to Europe in May...like more than anything. As of right now, I don't know if I will be able to do it. I know I will be able to go but probably not for the full 2months that I wanted to go for. We'll see how that goes.
Halloween is soon....what to be, what to be. I'll probably end up being something dumb because I'm so indecisive which is lame. Also, I have the most last minute friends ever...and so Nikki and I keep saying we need to figure out if we are going on a pub crawl or going to a house party...and we wanted to hang out with all of our friends but their all being so indecisive that me and Nikki are just going to have to decide what we want to do with or without them.
The airport is boring today...nothing special going on. Nikki doesn't get in till 1:30 and there is really no other interesting people here. A year ago, some of my closest friends worked at the airport with me. Terri, Jenn, Yuka, Kumi, Amanda, Rachelle... there was a lot of us...and we had so much fun...but eventually they all got sick of the airport and left...leaving just me which is pooey. I really don't mind the airport to be honest. It's interesting to talk to all the different people of the world. Don't get me wrong, it drives me fucking bonkers sometimes but for the most part, it's a good place to work. My boss is kind of a huge fucking tool but I see him like once every two months so I can't complain.
Anyways, nothing else to report or randomly ramble about so I will exit with an awesome Martin Luther King Jr. quote.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
This Sucks
I'm staring in the mirror, trying to tear my eyes away.
So much is running through my mind yet I don't know what to say
I'm looking at myself thinking "what the fuck did I do wrong?"
I should have seen the signs, I should have known this all along.
We fought, we bitched, we cried, we screamed
We kissed, we loved, we smiled, we dreamed
I have a million memories with you, some good and some are bad
I hate looking back on all our times, I just get so mad, I get so sad.
I'm fearful for the future, for what tomorrow brings.
I'm fearful for each day without you, and a thousand other things
I know we said good-bye in such an awful way
but just know that you're on my mind every second of every day
I've said a lot of things that I know I can't take back
But just so you should know, all those things don't mean jack
When I said I fucking hate you and I want you to go die...
What I really meant to say was that I love you and I don't want this to be good-bye
I loveee you!
So much is running through my mind yet I don't know what to say
I'm looking at myself thinking "what the fuck did I do wrong?"
I should have seen the signs, I should have known this all along.
We fought, we bitched, we cried, we screamed
We kissed, we loved, we smiled, we dreamed
I have a million memories with you, some good and some are bad
I hate looking back on all our times, I just get so mad, I get so sad.
I'm fearful for the future, for what tomorrow brings.
I'm fearful for each day without you, and a thousand other things
I know we said good-bye in such an awful way
but just know that you're on my mind every second of every day
I've said a lot of things that I know I can't take back
But just so you should know, all those things don't mean jack
When I said I fucking hate you and I want you to go die...
What I really meant to say was that I love you and I don't want this to be good-bye
I loveee you!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I Dare You To Move
This morning I find myself missing a lot of things and a lot of people.
I miss...
-Junior High
-High School
-Being naive
-my awesome working blow dryer
-California
-T.J.
-House parties
-How Alex and I used to be
-Nate & Sevy
-Shayla & Jenelle
-My friends from highschool (Dana, Amy, Taryn, Britx2 and a million other people)
-My pink hair
-My natural long nails
-My surround system
-My house on Falsby Crt.
-La Senza Girl
There is more...I know it but I can't think of the rest
On another note...I really want to book my trip for europe so that I know that I'm actually going. I also really want a part time job for christmas. I love working in the mall at christmas, stressful as it may be. It just makes the holidays feel so much more holiday-ee! I love all the decorations and the music and the hundreds of people bustling about rushing to buy gifts. It just makes me feel the christmas spirit all day everyday. I love christmas, I really do. People call my mother and I crazy because we put our decorations up on Dec 1 and go ALL OUT. It is definitely, 100% my favorite time of the year. I love buying presents for people and wrapping them with pretty bows and making them all unique. It's so much fun. I like the anticipation of Christmas probably more than I like Christmas day.
On another, another note... Nikki and I want to be construction workers for halloween but our costumes are half ass. We need a tool belt and some other little accessories to put everything together. A safety vest and hard hat just aint gonna cut it.
Well I'm off to watch...or re-watch I should say, Season 1 of the O.C. <3
Summer + Seth = awesomesauce
xo. Jessica
I miss...
-Junior High
-High School
-Being naive
-my awesome working blow dryer
-California
-T.J.
-House parties
-How Alex and I used to be
-Nate & Sevy
-Shayla & Jenelle
-My friends from highschool (Dana, Amy, Taryn, Britx2 and a million other people)
-My pink hair
-My natural long nails
-My surround system
-My house on Falsby Crt.
-La Senza Girl
There is more...I know it but I can't think of the rest
On another note...I really want to book my trip for europe so that I know that I'm actually going. I also really want a part time job for christmas. I love working in the mall at christmas, stressful as it may be. It just makes the holidays feel so much more holiday-ee! I love all the decorations and the music and the hundreds of people bustling about rushing to buy gifts. It just makes me feel the christmas spirit all day everyday. I love christmas, I really do. People call my mother and I crazy because we put our decorations up on Dec 1 and go ALL OUT. It is definitely, 100% my favorite time of the year. I love buying presents for people and wrapping them with pretty bows and making them all unique. It's so much fun. I like the anticipation of Christmas probably more than I like Christmas day.
On another, another note... Nikki and I want to be construction workers for halloween but our costumes are half ass. We need a tool belt and some other little accessories to put everything together. A safety vest and hard hat just aint gonna cut it.
Well I'm off to watch...or re-watch I should say, Season 1 of the O.C. <3
Summer + Seth = awesomesauce
xo. Jessica
It's October
It's October again
Leaves are coming down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all
Wasn't I supposed to be someone
Who can face the things that I've been running from...
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I...
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived, just a little...
I've become much too good at being invincible
I'm an expert at play it safe, and keep it cool
But I swear this isn't who I'm meant to be
I refuse to let my life roll all over me...
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I...
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived, just a little...
I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody
I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody who can face the things that I've been running from
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived...
It's October again
Leaves are coming down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all
'Let me fall' by Bethany Joy Lenz
Leaves are coming down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all
Wasn't I supposed to be someone
Who can face the things that I've been running from...
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I...
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived, just a little...
I've become much too good at being invincible
I'm an expert at play it safe, and keep it cool
But I swear this isn't who I'm meant to be
I refuse to let my life roll all over me...
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I...
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived, just a little...
I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody
I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody who can face the things that I've been running from
Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown
Let me fall, even if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived...
It's October again
Leaves are coming down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all
'Let me fall' by Bethany Joy Lenz
Friday, October 3, 2008
A.J.G.
So... so, so much on my mind right now.
First of all, California was amazing! Did lots, bought lots, loved the weather! I want to go back but even more than that, I want to go to Europe so I need to put forward all my funds towards that.
Second of all...my job is sucking ass right now. I just want to be acknowledged a bit more...and a pay raise wouldn't hurt. I have worked here for 20months now and I still haven't got anything. Meanies!
And lastly...my relationship is in the dumps! For real. We've broken up so many times but this one just feels real. I don't know if we are both just being stubborn or what but it is just becoming more real everyday. He is moving out, we've already exchanged our things and we've just called it quits. After 5 years, it's hard. It feels like its for the best but at the same time it's something that I feel like I won't ever be able to let go of. I do regret the fact that I got into a long term relationship at such a young age because I don't know how to deal with all of this stuff I feel. I feel like I want to be with him but at the same time I feel like... "I'm 20," I have my whole life ahead of me to have fun and to find mr. right. I regret the fact that we got back together after the first time we broke up... and everytime after that because eventually we somehow got ourselves to this point.. this crucial, excruciating moment where every other second I need to stop myself from crying. I'm sad for so much... it sucks. I wish I could foresee the future at times like this. To know if I'm making the right decision...to know if sticking to my guns is the best idea or not because if we stay together and realize in another 5 years that we truly are not meant to be together than we'll have wasted a decade of our lives...however if we go along with our stubborn ways and not give in to how we feel about eachother and we were indeed meant to be together in the future then we'll never know. It's such gamble and I hate it. I wish I could be like "let's meet up in 10 years and get back together so I can get everything in life that I want to do out of the way." Sounds selfish but it's honest. I just wish...soooooo fucking much that we could go back to the times when we enjoyed just laying together and watching television. I wish we could go back to when we were more dangerous and adventerous and we were so in love with eachother that we didn't care what we did, when we did it or where we did it. We just loved eachother's company whether it was making dinner together or just laying in bed listening to a c.d. This sounds weird but I miss our fights too. They were really passionate and so full of every emotion. Now we don't even put an effort into fighting. I totally understand the love/hate thing and I totally understand couples that break up and hate eachother beyond belief. They feel that hatred because it's the only thing left in their hearts to feel for the other person. I feel like I hate Alex right now. Like truly hate him... maybe thats good...maybe that means I loved him or love him...who knows. Maybe all of this is just pure nonsense. Why do we take people for granted? Seriously? I take everyone...EVERYONE in my life for granted and I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people in the world who are just like me. If a person passes away or breaks up with you or moves away or ends a friendship, you tell yourself over and over again..."if they would just come back, I would tell them how much they mean to me and I would never underestimate or forget about the value of our relationship ever, ever again." We tell ourselves this all the time, hell I'm telling myself that right now but the truth is, we get comfortable and we forget. It's like when a child begs you for a toy and you tell them "you already have so many toys that you never play with, what makes this one different? You're just going to forget about it in the end." And they say "no I promise, I've always wanted this toy, it's so cool. It's my favorite, I'll play with it everyday." So you buy them the toy and they take it home and rip into the package and they passionately play with it for about.... a couple of hours. Then it's old news. That's like relationshipds... all kinds. Relationships with yourself, relationships with your peers and relationships with your surroundings. I hate admitting all this but its true. I just wish I could swallow my pride and say "plese don't move out, I love you soooo much and I want to try, I want to wake up to you every morning and kiss you everynight before I go to sleep." I want to say all this...I really do, but in the back of my mind, there is something whispering "let it go, you know you're just going to slip back into you're usual old self." Man all of this is sooooo fucked up. I'm just sitting at work, with all of my drivers kinda standing around me and I'm so engulfed in this. I just can't get anything off of my mind. And the more I type, the more stuff keeps getting pulled from random places in my mind and heart. I can't tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I am a person who panicks at the thought of being pushed away or not wanted...but arn't all girls like that? I am fine if something or someone is in front of me. I don't want it or need it, I like it just where it is, but the minute that whatever or whoever it is pulls away, I freak out. That's whats happening right now. I know that I'm the one slightly doing this pushing but I think thats my defense mechanism. I'm so hurt that this is the only thing I can think of doing. Gosh when I look back on all of this, I'm not gonna make sense of it but thats okay cause for now, I just feel like I want all of this that I'm feeing somewhere else besides in my head and my heart. I just want that can't eat, can't sleep, can't get that person out of my head feeling again. Someone told me that the feeling of love never stays and it always fades and that there will ALWAYS be a difference between being in love with someone and loving them and caring about them. That's a sad realization because when you are the "in-love" stage, you don't want to hear that your not going to feel like that forever. You want that hope that comes with every relatonship, that the feeling won't fade. That's what I'm at least hoping for right now. I want that feeling back with the person I love. I don't want to feel it all over again with someone new. I want the hope that people can make it...at any age, under and circumstance, in any situation. I fully admit that I'm not a realist, I will fully admit. I am a dreamer who lives for Disney movies and simple moments. who believes that love has no boundaries and can be found in any corner of the world and who believes that happiness if never far off. All of this that I'm feeling right now makes me want to give up on all of these things that I believe in. I have two friends named Matt and Amanda and their relationship mirrored mine and Alex's. In my eyes and to everyone else they were meant to be together. They fought and broke up all the time but in the end it was ALWAYS "Matt and Amanda." And then one day they broke up, being their usual selves....and they never got back together. They proved that life goes on and that happiness is still around that corner if you're willing to look but from a person in my situation right now, that is not something I want to acknowledge because I want to believe that I'll be sad forever. Why do we do this to ourselves. Date and break up over and over again. We put ourselves through this agonizing feeling over and over again just to wake up and do it all again. When does the cycle end? Are we all just fooling ourselves? By 2003 statistacs say that 40% of all marriages had ended in divorce. That is a staggering statistic because it's on the rise. People just can't make the effort and don't seem to be bothered by the fact that they have invested smiles, tears, laughs, screams, and everyother emotion into countless years of a relationship just to throw it out the window. What happened to always and forever? What happened to forever and back? What happened to "I could never love anyone as much as I love you." Where did all of that go? When did relationships and personal happiness drop below money and work and general everyday life? I probably don't have answers to any of the questions that I've asked but it's nice to ponder on these things. In the end I know, life will go on and everything will be okay....but thats the problem. Why are we all fine with just "okay?" I don't want to wake up one day and be fine with life knowing that i once loved someone with everything that I had. I don't want to be okay with knowing that I just gave them up...just like that. The worst part about the situation is that we never even did anything to hurt eachother. We weren't cheating whores or lying assholes...we were fine but somehow we just couldn't make it work. I kinda wish he had lied or cheated or did some sort of other irreparable, awful thing because then I'd have a reason to break up with him...to hate him everytime I thought of him. I hate knowing that he is a great guy with great intentions. It sucks. I got my palms read while in California and the palm reader did indeed say that he was NOT my soulmate but she also said that people all the time end up with people that arn't their soulmates. She said that Alex would never ever hurt me and that he was great. HELLO!?!?!? NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.
I do hope that we can find our peace...whether with eachother or without eachother. And I hope he is someone that I can always count on and vice versa...because the truth is, no matther how much I want to hate him, deep down I want to be there for him and I want to hold him close because I know we've been through to much to hold anything but the highest regards for eachother. I will always love him... thats the thing about first loves, they find a way to latch themselves to you and they never really let go.
In the end all I want to say and all I feel and all I want everyone to know is this...
I love you Alex...I love you beyond all the bullshit and beyond all the fights. I love you beyond all of our firsts and all of our lasts. I love you beyond all that we've been through...and I always will.
xoxo Jessica ;)
First of all, California was amazing! Did lots, bought lots, loved the weather! I want to go back but even more than that, I want to go to Europe so I need to put forward all my funds towards that.
Second of all...my job is sucking ass right now. I just want to be acknowledged a bit more...and a pay raise wouldn't hurt. I have worked here for 20months now and I still haven't got anything. Meanies!
And lastly...my relationship is in the dumps! For real. We've broken up so many times but this one just feels real. I don't know if we are both just being stubborn or what but it is just becoming more real everyday. He is moving out, we've already exchanged our things and we've just called it quits. After 5 years, it's hard. It feels like its for the best but at the same time it's something that I feel like I won't ever be able to let go of. I do regret the fact that I got into a long term relationship at such a young age because I don't know how to deal with all of this stuff I feel. I feel like I want to be with him but at the same time I feel like... "I'm 20," I have my whole life ahead of me to have fun and to find mr. right. I regret the fact that we got back together after the first time we broke up... and everytime after that because eventually we somehow got ourselves to this point.. this crucial, excruciating moment where every other second I need to stop myself from crying. I'm sad for so much... it sucks. I wish I could foresee the future at times like this. To know if I'm making the right decision...to know if sticking to my guns is the best idea or not because if we stay together and realize in another 5 years that we truly are not meant to be together than we'll have wasted a decade of our lives...however if we go along with our stubborn ways and not give in to how we feel about eachother and we were indeed meant to be together in the future then we'll never know. It's such gamble and I hate it. I wish I could be like "let's meet up in 10 years and get back together so I can get everything in life that I want to do out of the way." Sounds selfish but it's honest. I just wish...soooooo fucking much that we could go back to the times when we enjoyed just laying together and watching television. I wish we could go back to when we were more dangerous and adventerous and we were so in love with eachother that we didn't care what we did, when we did it or where we did it. We just loved eachother's company whether it was making dinner together or just laying in bed listening to a c.d. This sounds weird but I miss our fights too. They were really passionate and so full of every emotion. Now we don't even put an effort into fighting. I totally understand the love/hate thing and I totally understand couples that break up and hate eachother beyond belief. They feel that hatred because it's the only thing left in their hearts to feel for the other person. I feel like I hate Alex right now. Like truly hate him... maybe thats good...maybe that means I loved him or love him...who knows. Maybe all of this is just pure nonsense. Why do we take people for granted? Seriously? I take everyone...EVERYONE in my life for granted and I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people in the world who are just like me. If a person passes away or breaks up with you or moves away or ends a friendship, you tell yourself over and over again..."if they would just come back, I would tell them how much they mean to me and I would never underestimate or forget about the value of our relationship ever, ever again." We tell ourselves this all the time, hell I'm telling myself that right now but the truth is, we get comfortable and we forget. It's like when a child begs you for a toy and you tell them "you already have so many toys that you never play with, what makes this one different? You're just going to forget about it in the end." And they say "no I promise, I've always wanted this toy, it's so cool. It's my favorite, I'll play with it everyday." So you buy them the toy and they take it home and rip into the package and they passionately play with it for about.... a couple of hours. Then it's old news. That's like relationshipds... all kinds. Relationships with yourself, relationships with your peers and relationships with your surroundings. I hate admitting all this but its true. I just wish I could swallow my pride and say "plese don't move out, I love you soooo much and I want to try, I want to wake up to you every morning and kiss you everynight before I go to sleep." I want to say all this...I really do, but in the back of my mind, there is something whispering "let it go, you know you're just going to slip back into you're usual old self." Man all of this is sooooo fucked up. I'm just sitting at work, with all of my drivers kinda standing around me and I'm so engulfed in this. I just can't get anything off of my mind. And the more I type, the more stuff keeps getting pulled from random places in my mind and heart. I can't tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I am a person who panicks at the thought of being pushed away or not wanted...but arn't all girls like that? I am fine if something or someone is in front of me. I don't want it or need it, I like it just where it is, but the minute that whatever or whoever it is pulls away, I freak out. That's whats happening right now. I know that I'm the one slightly doing this pushing but I think thats my defense mechanism. I'm so hurt that this is the only thing I can think of doing. Gosh when I look back on all of this, I'm not gonna make sense of it but thats okay cause for now, I just feel like I want all of this that I'm feeing somewhere else besides in my head and my heart. I just want that can't eat, can't sleep, can't get that person out of my head feeling again. Someone told me that the feeling of love never stays and it always fades and that there will ALWAYS be a difference between being in love with someone and loving them and caring about them. That's a sad realization because when you are the "in-love" stage, you don't want to hear that your not going to feel like that forever. You want that hope that comes with every relatonship, that the feeling won't fade. That's what I'm at least hoping for right now. I want that feeling back with the person I love. I don't want to feel it all over again with someone new. I want the hope that people can make it...at any age, under and circumstance, in any situation. I fully admit that I'm not a realist, I will fully admit. I am a dreamer who lives for Disney movies and simple moments. who believes that love has no boundaries and can be found in any corner of the world and who believes that happiness if never far off. All of this that I'm feeling right now makes me want to give up on all of these things that I believe in. I have two friends named Matt and Amanda and their relationship mirrored mine and Alex's. In my eyes and to everyone else they were meant to be together. They fought and broke up all the time but in the end it was ALWAYS "Matt and Amanda." And then one day they broke up, being their usual selves....and they never got back together. They proved that life goes on and that happiness is still around that corner if you're willing to look but from a person in my situation right now, that is not something I want to acknowledge because I want to believe that I'll be sad forever. Why do we do this to ourselves. Date and break up over and over again. We put ourselves through this agonizing feeling over and over again just to wake up and do it all again. When does the cycle end? Are we all just fooling ourselves? By 2003 statistacs say that 40% of all marriages had ended in divorce. That is a staggering statistic because it's on the rise. People just can't make the effort and don't seem to be bothered by the fact that they have invested smiles, tears, laughs, screams, and everyother emotion into countless years of a relationship just to throw it out the window. What happened to always and forever? What happened to forever and back? What happened to "I could never love anyone as much as I love you." Where did all of that go? When did relationships and personal happiness drop below money and work and general everyday life? I probably don't have answers to any of the questions that I've asked but it's nice to ponder on these things. In the end I know, life will go on and everything will be okay....but thats the problem. Why are we all fine with just "okay?" I don't want to wake up one day and be fine with life knowing that i once loved someone with everything that I had. I don't want to be okay with knowing that I just gave them up...just like that. The worst part about the situation is that we never even did anything to hurt eachother. We weren't cheating whores or lying assholes...we were fine but somehow we just couldn't make it work. I kinda wish he had lied or cheated or did some sort of other irreparable, awful thing because then I'd have a reason to break up with him...to hate him everytime I thought of him. I hate knowing that he is a great guy with great intentions. It sucks. I got my palms read while in California and the palm reader did indeed say that he was NOT my soulmate but she also said that people all the time end up with people that arn't their soulmates. She said that Alex would never ever hurt me and that he was great. HELLO!?!?!? NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.
I do hope that we can find our peace...whether with eachother or without eachother. And I hope he is someone that I can always count on and vice versa...because the truth is, no matther how much I want to hate him, deep down I want to be there for him and I want to hold him close because I know we've been through to much to hold anything but the highest regards for eachother. I will always love him... thats the thing about first loves, they find a way to latch themselves to you and they never really let go.
In the end all I want to say and all I feel and all I want everyone to know is this...
I love you Alex...I love you beyond all the bullshit and beyond all the fights. I love you beyond all of our firsts and all of our lasts. I love you beyond all that we've been through...and I always will.
xoxo Jessica ;)
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Grade 8
So this little entry has a survey about my grade 8 year and a picture from my grade 8 year. The people in the picture from left to right are: Amanda Erwood, Myself, Stephanie Fehr, Brittany Bishop and Amy Watson.
Suprisingly, 7 years later. I'm still in contact with all of them! Not as good friends with them now as I used to be but at least we still keep in touch.
Your 8th grade year is supposed to be "the worst year of your life." Let's see how much you remember. I know for some it might be hard for you to go back that far!
Year: 2001-2002
1. Who were your best friends? probably nikki and amanda
2. What sports did you play? volleyball
3. Did you buy your lunch? yea pretty much, if i wasnt buying cafeteria lunch then i was walking to shell
4. It's Friday night, where were you? prairie winds park or the cave...lol oh dear
5. Were you a party animal? haha ive definatly mellowed out a lot since then
6. Were you in the "In Crowd"? i would say i was but who knows what "in" is
7. Ever skip school? not really...junior high..they call your parents and then i get in shit...assholes
8. Ever smoke? yeaaaa...
10. Did you get suspended/expelled? noooo
11. Can you sing the alma mater? WHATTTT?!?!?!
12. Who was your favorite teacher? umm..teachers...hmmm....mr davis or someone i dunno
13. Favorite class? i dont really know... junior high classes sucked...especially humanities
14. What was your schools full name? Terry Fox Junior High School
15. School mascot? i have noooo idea... i know we were the trackers(lame) but thats all i know
16.Did you ever go to the dances? maybe one or two but the teen dances were really stupid
17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? NO...those are amazing memories
18. What do you remember most about Junior High? Everything...
19. Favorite memory of your 8th grade year? probably just always having something to do... getting ready forever just to go to some little place... always going to the vault after school
20. Were you ever posted up on the 8th graders wall? this question sucks cause we didnt have that shit
21. Did you have a job your 8th grade year? and again...stupid
22. Where did you go most often for lunch? cafeteria or store
23. What did you do after graduation? after my junior high graduation?... i dont know...
24. Are your closest friends of grade 8 still your closest friends today?... nikki is but everyone else who i chilled with has kinda drifted
25. Did you like your eighth grade year? yep i loved it
Suprisingly, 7 years later. I'm still in contact with all of them! Not as good friends with them now as I used to be but at least we still keep in touch.
Your 8th grade year is supposed to be "the worst year of your life." Let's see how much you remember. I know for some it might be hard for you to go back that far!
Year: 2001-2002
1. Who were your best friends? probably nikki and amanda
2. What sports did you play? volleyball
3. Did you buy your lunch? yea pretty much, if i wasnt buying cafeteria lunch then i was walking to shell
4. It's Friday night, where were you? prairie winds park or the cave...lol oh dear
5. Were you a party animal? haha ive definatly mellowed out a lot since then
6. Were you in the "In Crowd"? i would say i was but who knows what "in" is
7. Ever skip school? not really...junior high..they call your parents and then i get in shit...assholes
8. Ever smoke? yeaaaa...
10. Did you get suspended/expelled? noooo
11. Can you sing the alma mater? WHATTTT?!?!?!
12. Who was your favorite teacher? umm..teachers...hmmm....mr davis or someone i dunno
13. Favorite class? i dont really know... junior high classes sucked...especially humanities
14. What was your schools full name? Terry Fox Junior High School
15. School mascot? i have noooo idea... i know we were the trackers(lame) but thats all i know
16.Did you ever go to the dances? maybe one or two but the teen dances were really stupid
17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? NO...those are amazing memories
18. What do you remember most about Junior High? Everything...
19. Favorite memory of your 8th grade year? probably just always having something to do... getting ready forever just to go to some little place... always going to the vault after school
20. Were you ever posted up on the 8th graders wall? this question sucks cause we didnt have that shit
21. Did you have a job your 8th grade year? and again...stupid
22. Where did you go most often for lunch? cafeteria or store
23. What did you do after graduation? after my junior high graduation?... i dont know...
24. Are your closest friends of grade 8 still your closest friends today?... nikki is but everyone else who i chilled with has kinda drifted
25. Did you like your eighth grade year? yep i loved it
Another day...
So... Day #3 of throwing old junk on here. I'm almost done I think. There is a lot of old stuff still but a lot of it is not even worth putting on here. Below is an extremely old picture that I added my own personal touch to. It's a little raunchy but oh well, I enjoy it! Today I am on day #8 of work and I am soooo excited to have tomorrow off. FINALLY!!! It feels like I have been working forever. Nikki and I went to the bank yesterday and converted all of our canadian dollars into US dollars. We leave in 3 sleeps(yay)!!!!!! California Dreamin' all the way.
Well back to adding random stuff! Something to passsss the time away.
-Jessica.xo
Well back to adding random stuff! Something to passsss the time away.
-Jessica.xo
Friday, September 19, 2008
Survey!
These are two surveys from October 25 2006 and November 07 2006
TEN FIRSTS
1. First Best Friend: hmm...i think her name was Jennifer Miller...maybe
2. First Screen Name: Jessica
3. First Pet: Teddy the hampster...=)
4. First Piercing: Ears
5. First Crush: haha hmmm...i forgot...really i do
6. First CD: umm i think it might have been like Garth Brooks or some shit when i was like six years old
7. First Car: car...HAHA yea right
8. First Stuffed animal: some elephant that i got when i was a day old in the hospital..i still have it
9. First Love: Alexander
10. First kiss: i dont remember...id have to look at my diary which i probably cant even read the writing in
NINE LASTS
1. Last Alcoholic Beverage: Vodka...on saturday night...lol brittney
2. Last Car ride: home with mother
3. Last Movie Seen: Maybe Saw III...not to sure
4. Last Phone Call: NIkki
5. Last Song: Lucky Boys Confusion - Sexy Ladies...Justin Timberlake
6. Last Bubble Bath: when i lived in my old house when we had a damn jet tub...
7. Last time You Cried: hmm i dont know.. maybe a couple days ago..a week, who knows
8. Last crush: Alex...lol i love him
9. Last kiss: Alex
EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
1. Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Noooo
2. Have you ever been arrested? no thank god
3. Have you ever skinny dipped: Yessss
4. Have you ever been on TV: Yesss
5. Have you ever kissed someone, and then regreted it? Yea...a few times in my life, when i was naive
6. Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? ferrrr sureee
7. Have u ever cheated on someone? never in my life...that shit is fucking dumb
8. Have you ever been caught having sex? haha lol
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING
1.purple DKNY watch
2. Long Silver Earrings
3. Capris
4. Shirt
5. the ITEC bra...omg go get it NOW...its amazing
6. a thong
7. A silver chain
SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. Workedd
2. Shopped
3. Brought the B/F lunch
4. Did my hair
5. Showered
6. Hung out with Alex
FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. CSI/24
2. You know what with Nikki
3. You know what with Alex
4. Taz...miii puppy
5. The ladies
FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO IN NO ORDER
1. Nikki
2. Nikki
3. Nikki
4. Nikki...
THREE CHOICES
1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Hot
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Travel the world and put my foot on every single continent
2. Live a fairy tale life... get married and have kids and all that jazz
ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. she knows who she is...i cant believe i was ever friends with you[/color]
---------------------------------
1. Initials:
JNM
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you
This really cute old lady at my work...and the queen
3. Where was your first kiss?
hmm on the playground
4. For or agaist same sex marriage?
im all for it...hey you cant help who you love
5. Are you homophobic?
nooo and if i was i probably wouldnt have been pro for question number 4
6. Are you bisexual?
nope...
7. Do you believe in God?
not persay but you know...i believe in SOMETHING
8. How many Canadian Provinces have you been to?
lets think...BC anddd Alberta... yea not much
9. How many of the Canadian Provinces have you lived in?
Just good old Alberta
10. Have you ever lived outside of Canada?
Noo
11. Name something you like physically about yourself.
I dont know...it really depends on the day
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself.
once again...depends on the day
13. What's your mom's first name?
Linda
14. What is your dream car?
I like The VW bugs but who knows...I really like Toyota Celica's too
15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Everywhere...i want to step foot on every continent
16. Have you ever had a sleep over with someone from the opposite sex?
Yea...of course
18. Do you download music?
Yes all the time
19. How many illegal things have you done?
more than i can count on my fingers and my toes
20. Where would you want to go on a first date?
not something to cheap and not something to fancy...in between
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
yes...awh
23. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
yes!
24. Do you like President Bush?
from what i've heard hes an ass but i dont keep up with american politics
25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
no but i wanna...kinda
26. Have you ever white water rafted?
noo...
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
yea ew gross
29. Have you met a real redneck?
Yes...i live in alberta
30. Are you racist?
no...not intentionally anyways
31. What song are you listening to right now?
sexy ladies...justin timberlake
32. What is your current favorite song?
love stoned...justin timberlake
33. What was the last movie you watched?
Rent....!!!
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
to the b/f's house
36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
no, thats mean
37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
yeppp
39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
probably an overall appearance..you know give em the once over and then you go back to the specifics
40. Do you like yourself?
sure why not, i have to live with me for the rest of my life
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
ew coffee is sick and Starbucks is NOT an equal company, theres no fair trade...buy your coffee from second cup
44. Say something totally random about yourself.
i hate collar bones and anything in association to collar bones
45. Do you have an iPod?
no...why do i neeeed an ipod
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
not really...
47. Whats your dad's name?
Jeff
48. Do you have braces?
nooope
49. Are you comfortable with your height?
not really, i mean im glad i'm short but i always wish i was a bit taller
50. Do you like someone right now?
i loveeee someone
51. How tall are you?
5'1...if im lucky
52. Do you speak any other language other than english?
umm i can speak a couple words of dutch and spanish
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yea...quite a few times
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
yea...i been to way to many funerals
57. Do you watch MuchMusic?
if theres good shit on...i find much music has gone down hill
58. What's something that really annoys you?
why people feel the need to always fucking talking about other people
59. What are some things you really like?
umm csi...a lot
60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
yea sure...i like his music..hes kind of a freak
61. Can you dance?
i cant do any organized dance or anything..nothing that has structure but i can dance like at the bar or whatever
62. Have you ever surfed?
haha RIGHTTTT
63. Do you know how to pump gas?
yep
64. Do you drive?
haha no..i failed my learners just the other day
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
all day and all night
66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
no...
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
yes...gr 5
68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
yea..fukkin truth or dare
69. What's your favorite province to live in?
this question is dumb
TEN FIRSTS
1. First Best Friend: hmm...i think her name was Jennifer Miller...maybe
2. First Screen Name: Jessica
3. First Pet: Teddy the hampster...=)
4. First Piercing: Ears
5. First Crush: haha hmmm...i forgot...really i do
6. First CD: umm i think it might have been like Garth Brooks or some shit when i was like six years old
7. First Car: car...HAHA yea right
8. First Stuffed animal: some elephant that i got when i was a day old in the hospital..i still have it
9. First Love: Alexander
10. First kiss: i dont remember...id have to look at my diary which i probably cant even read the writing in
NINE LASTS
1. Last Alcoholic Beverage: Vodka...on saturday night...lol brittney
2. Last Car ride: home with mother
3. Last Movie Seen: Maybe Saw III...not to sure
4. Last Phone Call: NIkki
5. Last Song: Lucky Boys Confusion - Sexy Ladies...Justin Timberlake
6. Last Bubble Bath: when i lived in my old house when we had a damn jet tub...
7. Last time You Cried: hmm i dont know.. maybe a couple days ago..a week, who knows
8. Last crush: Alex...lol i love him
9. Last kiss: Alex
EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
1. Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Noooo
2. Have you ever been arrested? no thank god
3. Have you ever skinny dipped: Yessss
4. Have you ever been on TV: Yesss
5. Have you ever kissed someone, and then regreted it? Yea...a few times in my life, when i was naive
6. Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? ferrrr sureee
7. Have u ever cheated on someone? never in my life...that shit is fucking dumb
8. Have you ever been caught having sex? haha lol
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING
1.purple DKNY watch
2. Long Silver Earrings
3. Capris
4. Shirt
5. the ITEC bra...omg go get it NOW...its amazing
6. a thong
7. A silver chain
SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. Workedd
2. Shopped
3. Brought the B/F lunch
4. Did my hair
5. Showered
6. Hung out with Alex
FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. CSI/24
2. You know what with Nikki
3. You know what with Alex
4. Taz...miii puppy
5. The ladies
FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO IN NO ORDER
1. Nikki
2. Nikki
3. Nikki
4. Nikki...
THREE CHOICES
1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Hot
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Travel the world and put my foot on every single continent
2. Live a fairy tale life... get married and have kids and all that jazz
ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. she knows who she is...i cant believe i was ever friends with you[/color]
---------------------------------
1. Initials:
JNM
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you
This really cute old lady at my work...and the queen
3. Where was your first kiss?
hmm on the playground
4. For or agaist same sex marriage?
im all for it...hey you cant help who you love
5. Are you homophobic?
nooo and if i was i probably wouldnt have been pro for question number 4
6. Are you bisexual?
nope...
7. Do you believe in God?
not persay but you know...i believe in SOMETHING
8. How many Canadian Provinces have you been to?
lets think...BC anddd Alberta... yea not much
9. How many of the Canadian Provinces have you lived in?
Just good old Alberta
10. Have you ever lived outside of Canada?
Noo
11. Name something you like physically about yourself.
I dont know...it really depends on the day
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself.
once again...depends on the day
13. What's your mom's first name?
Linda
14. What is your dream car?
I like The VW bugs but who knows...I really like Toyota Celica's too
15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Everywhere...i want to step foot on every continent
16. Have you ever had a sleep over with someone from the opposite sex?
Yea...of course
18. Do you download music?
Yes all the time
19. How many illegal things have you done?
more than i can count on my fingers and my toes
20. Where would you want to go on a first date?
not something to cheap and not something to fancy...in between
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
yes...awh
23. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
yes!
24. Do you like President Bush?
from what i've heard hes an ass but i dont keep up with american politics
25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
no but i wanna...kinda
26. Have you ever white water rafted?
noo...
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
yea ew gross
29. Have you met a real redneck?
Yes...i live in alberta
30. Are you racist?
no...not intentionally anyways
31. What song are you listening to right now?
sexy ladies...justin timberlake
32. What is your current favorite song?
love stoned...justin timberlake
33. What was the last movie you watched?
Rent....!!!
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
to the b/f's house
36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
no, thats mean
37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
yeppp
39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
probably an overall appearance..you know give em the once over and then you go back to the specifics
40. Do you like yourself?
sure why not, i have to live with me for the rest of my life
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
ew coffee is sick and Starbucks is NOT an equal company, theres no fair trade...buy your coffee from second cup
44. Say something totally random about yourself.
i hate collar bones and anything in association to collar bones
45. Do you have an iPod?
no...why do i neeeed an ipod
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
not really...
47. Whats your dad's name?
Jeff
48. Do you have braces?
nooope
49. Are you comfortable with your height?
not really, i mean im glad i'm short but i always wish i was a bit taller
50. Do you like someone right now?
i loveeee someone
51. How tall are you?
5'1...if im lucky
52. Do you speak any other language other than english?
umm i can speak a couple words of dutch and spanish
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yea...quite a few times
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
yea...i been to way to many funerals
57. Do you watch MuchMusic?
if theres good shit on...i find much music has gone down hill
58. What's something that really annoys you?
why people feel the need to always fucking talking about other people
59. What are some things you really like?
umm csi...a lot
60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
yea sure...i like his music..hes kind of a freak
61. Can you dance?
i cant do any organized dance or anything..nothing that has structure but i can dance like at the bar or whatever
62. Have you ever surfed?
haha RIGHTTTT
63. Do you know how to pump gas?
yep
64. Do you drive?
haha no..i failed my learners just the other day
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
all day and all night
66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
no...
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
yes...gr 5
68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
yea..fukkin truth or dare
69. What's your favorite province to live in?
this question is dumb
20 people... 20 truths
So this little honesty thing is from October 20 2006. I intend on doing another one of these honesty statements soon because I feel like these statements have changed somewhat in the past two years.
STATEMENTS OF PURE HONESTY:
instructions: write twenty statements,
intended to different people.
never tell which one is to who.
1. I hate how we've grown apart and how you went from cute and innocent to a drug addict
2. You probably the only person besides my mother who would ever really be there for me if it came down to it...we've grown apart lately and you've got your friends now and stuff so i dont know whats going to happen but ilu
3. I hate you, you stupid fucking cunt...if you died tomorrow i couldnt give a shit...in fact i hope you die tomorrow and since you fucking believe in god so much i hope he sends your disgusting ass to rot in hell cause we all know you deserve it...and thats what i think about 90% of the time...the other 10% says fuckfuckfuck...shit coulda worked
4. i love you forever and back...you are everything to me
5. every single day i miss you and every single day i think about who you would be today
6. If things were different i believe we would have ended up together... who knows whats to come.
7. Your a stuck up greedy bitch
8. even though we dont act like it, your pretty much my best friend... like a unrecognized one
9. If you keep going the way your going, your going to be a trashy hoe..i truly believe that. you can make it... whats with all this i cant i cant shit...who the fuck puts that in your head. if you think like that you will amount to nothing
10. Your rad, you know it and i know it even though you push my buttons
11. You were my biggest idol growing up and now i look at you in disgust... both of you
12. cunt with a capital A
13. Your amazing, seriously. ive never met someone in my life who i could look at and say "ive never been mad at you and ive never ever thought a single bad thing about you"
14. im not the first girl you did that to and im not the last...rot in hell you fucking pig...
15. you taught me everything...little did i know you were just a whore looking to cheat and im sorry to all the girls that you were dating while we were fooling around
16. although i pretend to like you, i really dont. i havent liked you for 3 years... in fact...3 years tomorrow.
17. we were good friends, to bad you let your dumb little play thing get in the way...oh wait. i should say "the love of your life"
18. i l u..even though i take you for granted and im a total bitch to you...yea i love you to
19. your an asshole, why would anyone want to be around you. you just be little people to the point where you ruin their whole fucking day.
20. i miss you please come home on your four little legs
do you know who the fuck you are cause i sure do
I dont remember who half these people are?...oops
STATEMENTS OF PURE HONESTY:
instructions: write twenty statements,
intended to different people.
never tell which one is to who.
1. I hate how we've grown apart and how you went from cute and innocent to a drug addict
2. You probably the only person besides my mother who would ever really be there for me if it came down to it...we've grown apart lately and you've got your friends now and stuff so i dont know whats going to happen but ilu
3. I hate you, you stupid fucking cunt...if you died tomorrow i couldnt give a shit...in fact i hope you die tomorrow and since you fucking believe in god so much i hope he sends your disgusting ass to rot in hell cause we all know you deserve it...and thats what i think about 90% of the time...the other 10% says fuckfuckfuck...shit coulda worked
4. i love you forever and back...you are everything to me
5. every single day i miss you and every single day i think about who you would be today
6. If things were different i believe we would have ended up together... who knows whats to come.
7. Your a stuck up greedy bitch
8. even though we dont act like it, your pretty much my best friend... like a unrecognized one
9. If you keep going the way your going, your going to be a trashy hoe..i truly believe that. you can make it... whats with all this i cant i cant shit...who the fuck puts that in your head. if you think like that you will amount to nothing
10. Your rad, you know it and i know it even though you push my buttons
11. You were my biggest idol growing up and now i look at you in disgust... both of you
12. cunt with a capital A
13. Your amazing, seriously. ive never met someone in my life who i could look at and say "ive never been mad at you and ive never ever thought a single bad thing about you"
14. im not the first girl you did that to and im not the last...rot in hell you fucking pig...
15. you taught me everything...little did i know you were just a whore looking to cheat and im sorry to all the girls that you were dating while we were fooling around
16. although i pretend to like you, i really dont. i havent liked you for 3 years... in fact...3 years tomorrow.
17. we were good friends, to bad you let your dumb little play thing get in the way...oh wait. i should say "the love of your life"
18. i l u..even though i take you for granted and im a total bitch to you...yea i love you to
19. your an asshole, why would anyone want to be around you. you just be little people to the point where you ruin their whole fucking day.
20. i miss you please come home on your four little legs
do you know who the fuck you are cause i sure do
I dont remember who half these people are?...oops
Thursday, September 18, 2008
September 2006
So this is the last of my Piczo blogs. September 2006.
o9;12;o6
how the hell do i sum up the last 3 and half months of my life. This is going to be a long ass blog entry... i guess i'll start with what ive generally been doing. So grad came and went. It was amazing. Maybe not grad itself, but definatly the whole experience. Me and Brianna had a gorgeous hotel for the weekend and it was located right in the heart of downtown. So grad started off on the 1st of June with Barbara, Bri, my cousin and myself. We started off by running around and doing last minute things and then we went out for dinner to celebrate at the Cheesecake. When we got back to my house we had a long night of getting ready but it was soo much fun. We got all our toenails painted and we did all the preparations for grad and pretty much just had a sweet ass girls night. Grad morning was fucking HECTIC. I didnt even bother doing my hair or make up in the morning but now that i think about that i probably should have cause my hair looked like ass for grad however brianna's and barbara's hair both turned out really pretty. so we got all packed and made our way down to the ceremony. the ceremony was sweet. since im in the choir i got to be behind the stage the entire time instead of sittin in the crowd yawning. my whole family was there which was exciting...after the ceremonies and the pictures and the presents and all that came the hotel and getting ready for the banquet. so we rushed downtown and had next to no time to get ready. 4 girls in a small hotel room makes for a huge fucking mess. we just barely made it on time but all of us looked amazing. we had gorgeous corsage's and everything. it was pretty much perfect. the banquet was good. i had a nice time and i was all happy and that untilllllll the damn slideshow. thats when it hit me...this is the first day of the rest of my life. no more hanging out in the hallways and seeing everybody everyday...let me tell you, it was sad. it still is sad. life has really changed. so i had my moment of boohoo and all then all was dandy. after eating dinner with my mom and dad and taking pictures with all my friends, i left cause it was pretty boring. so back to the hotel went me nikki barbara and bri and then we got ready for the aftergrad which was literally two blocks away from our hotel. aftergrad was pretty amazing. soooo friggin drunk, i love it. i hardly danced at all but i still had awesome fun. me and brianna ended up fighting about something ridiculous so we didnt talk all night and then when we did talk which was at the end of the night, im not really sure what we talked about. i would have to say that would have probably been one of my drunkest nights where i didnt end up puking. so nikki didnt come back to the hotel with us but we didnt end up getting back to the hotel till well after three in the morning. when i woke up the next morning i had a pretty bad hangover so i went to get up to get some tylenol and i realized...holy fuck this is a messy hotel room. im telling you shit was everywhere. the three of us didnt pull our asses out of bed until like after noon and we werent ready till after 1. we went to eau claire market and had a pretty amazing day. we ate lunch at the market and then just walked around and looked at all these cool little shops. we had planned on spending lots of money and buying stuff but we didnt end up doing so, so instead we went to the arcade and played games for quite a while. we used up 50 bucks on arcade games and got these dinky little toys out of it. its funny cause afterwards we all looked at our stupid little dinosaurs and bouncy balls and we were like "wtflol". So then we went to see the break up and it was a cute movie. After that we decided to go to dinner at Joey Tomatoes and it was an awesome dinner. brianna got the most expensive thing on the menu and it came with this little water thing and crap and we were wondering what it was for and it wasnt until the end of the meal where we realized she was supposed clean her hands in it since she was eating ribs. After that barbara went home and me and bri decided to go to the bar...so we got all dolled up and went to cowboys. it was pretty fun. we got pretty drunk and got hit on a lot...wasnt really any room to dance but it was sweet anyway. we ended up going back to the hotel drunk as hell and then being complete idiots in our hotel room for like two hours. trust me...look at the photos. so the next morning is where my grad weekend ended. it was pretty amazing though and i have some cute pictures and stuff.
so high school is officially done. i said my goodbyes, i cleaned out my locker and now theres nothing left... except for the fact that i failed social...yea i got like 48%... jerks couldnt give me another 2%. So i'll be doing online schooling in january so that i can officially graduate and then go into post secondary.
what have i done since high school?...after high school ended i applied at a million jobs and i finally got hired at the brick. its an okay job. 100% commission so it can get difficult but its not to bad. the people there are okay and its pretty good money so im planning on staying there for a while. other than that ive basically just been hanging out with friends and the b/f and doing whatever. I go to the bar quite a lot...oh the joys of being 18. ive seen a ton of movies but other than that i havent done anything overly exciting. im not friends with brianna anymore and although a lot of stuff has been said in previous entrys about our friendship, there really is nothing left to say. we dont hate eachother or like eachother. our friendship pretty much ended when our grad weekend did. i havent seen her in three months and i rarely talk to her. i guess thats what you get when you have a best friend. like really when you think about it... when you have a best friend you get fucked over... you have so many commitments. and then in the end you just get let down. so yea that whole thing went down the toilet but what can you do.
my puppy is gone. i seriously cried my eyes out when my parents gave her away. i would have done anything to keep her. i was going to move out of my house but i just didnt have enough money so now im sad and i tried to take lots of pictures of us two but i didnt get any good ones. seriously just thinking about how much i miss her right now is going to make me cry.
right now im just really thinking about life. three months ago these were my plans
go to mexico with bri
save up money
buy a computer
retake some classes
not one of those things ended up happening. i just work 24/7 and hang out with a few friends. my cousin just went to mexico and i didnt end up going. my mom is going on a cruise next month and im not going on that either. life is actually kinda shitty... oh well.
i like my new cell phone
oh and im getting a tattoo soon. i have all the ideas and i got the b/f to design it. its pretty sweet
Current Time: 10:28
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Song: Days Go By - Keith Urban
o9;12;o6
how the hell do i sum up the last 3 and half months of my life. This is going to be a long ass blog entry... i guess i'll start with what ive generally been doing. So grad came and went. It was amazing. Maybe not grad itself, but definatly the whole experience. Me and Brianna had a gorgeous hotel for the weekend and it was located right in the heart of downtown. So grad started off on the 1st of June with Barbara, Bri, my cousin and myself. We started off by running around and doing last minute things and then we went out for dinner to celebrate at the Cheesecake. When we got back to my house we had a long night of getting ready but it was soo much fun. We got all our toenails painted and we did all the preparations for grad and pretty much just had a sweet ass girls night. Grad morning was fucking HECTIC. I didnt even bother doing my hair or make up in the morning but now that i think about that i probably should have cause my hair looked like ass for grad however brianna's and barbara's hair both turned out really pretty. so we got all packed and made our way down to the ceremony. the ceremony was sweet. since im in the choir i got to be behind the stage the entire time instead of sittin in the crowd yawning. my whole family was there which was exciting...after the ceremonies and the pictures and the presents and all that came the hotel and getting ready for the banquet. so we rushed downtown and had next to no time to get ready. 4 girls in a small hotel room makes for a huge fucking mess. we just barely made it on time but all of us looked amazing. we had gorgeous corsage's and everything. it was pretty much perfect. the banquet was good. i had a nice time and i was all happy and that untilllllll the damn slideshow. thats when it hit me...this is the first day of the rest of my life. no more hanging out in the hallways and seeing everybody everyday...let me tell you, it was sad. it still is sad. life has really changed. so i had my moment of boohoo and all then all was dandy. after eating dinner with my mom and dad and taking pictures with all my friends, i left cause it was pretty boring. so back to the hotel went me nikki barbara and bri and then we got ready for the aftergrad which was literally two blocks away from our hotel. aftergrad was pretty amazing. soooo friggin drunk, i love it. i hardly danced at all but i still had awesome fun. me and brianna ended up fighting about something ridiculous so we didnt talk all night and then when we did talk which was at the end of the night, im not really sure what we talked about. i would have to say that would have probably been one of my drunkest nights where i didnt end up puking. so nikki didnt come back to the hotel with us but we didnt end up getting back to the hotel till well after three in the morning. when i woke up the next morning i had a pretty bad hangover so i went to get up to get some tylenol and i realized...holy fuck this is a messy hotel room. im telling you shit was everywhere. the three of us didnt pull our asses out of bed until like after noon and we werent ready till after 1. we went to eau claire market and had a pretty amazing day. we ate lunch at the market and then just walked around and looked at all these cool little shops. we had planned on spending lots of money and buying stuff but we didnt end up doing so, so instead we went to the arcade and played games for quite a while. we used up 50 bucks on arcade games and got these dinky little toys out of it. its funny cause afterwards we all looked at our stupid little dinosaurs and bouncy balls and we were like "wtflol". So then we went to see the break up and it was a cute movie. After that we decided to go to dinner at Joey Tomatoes and it was an awesome dinner. brianna got the most expensive thing on the menu and it came with this little water thing and crap and we were wondering what it was for and it wasnt until the end of the meal where we realized she was supposed clean her hands in it since she was eating ribs. After that barbara went home and me and bri decided to go to the bar...so we got all dolled up and went to cowboys. it was pretty fun. we got pretty drunk and got hit on a lot...wasnt really any room to dance but it was sweet anyway. we ended up going back to the hotel drunk as hell and then being complete idiots in our hotel room for like two hours. trust me...look at the photos. so the next morning is where my grad weekend ended. it was pretty amazing though and i have some cute pictures and stuff.
so high school is officially done. i said my goodbyes, i cleaned out my locker and now theres nothing left... except for the fact that i failed social...yea i got like 48%... jerks couldnt give me another 2%. So i'll be doing online schooling in january so that i can officially graduate and then go into post secondary.
what have i done since high school?...after high school ended i applied at a million jobs and i finally got hired at the brick. its an okay job. 100% commission so it can get difficult but its not to bad. the people there are okay and its pretty good money so im planning on staying there for a while. other than that ive basically just been hanging out with friends and the b/f and doing whatever. I go to the bar quite a lot...oh the joys of being 18. ive seen a ton of movies but other than that i havent done anything overly exciting. im not friends with brianna anymore and although a lot of stuff has been said in previous entrys about our friendship, there really is nothing left to say. we dont hate eachother or like eachother. our friendship pretty much ended when our grad weekend did. i havent seen her in three months and i rarely talk to her. i guess thats what you get when you have a best friend. like really when you think about it... when you have a best friend you get fucked over... you have so many commitments. and then in the end you just get let down. so yea that whole thing went down the toilet but what can you do.
my puppy is gone. i seriously cried my eyes out when my parents gave her away. i would have done anything to keep her. i was going to move out of my house but i just didnt have enough money so now im sad and i tried to take lots of pictures of us two but i didnt get any good ones. seriously just thinking about how much i miss her right now is going to make me cry.
right now im just really thinking about life. three months ago these were my plans
go to mexico with bri
save up money
buy a computer
retake some classes
not one of those things ended up happening. i just work 24/7 and hang out with a few friends. my cousin just went to mexico and i didnt end up going. my mom is going on a cruise next month and im not going on that either. life is actually kinda shitty... oh well.
i like my new cell phone
oh and im getting a tattoo soon. i have all the ideas and i got the b/f to design it. its pretty sweet
Current Time: 10:28
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Song: Days Go By - Keith Urban
May 2006
A lot of old blogs but it's so nice to re-read them as i'm reposting them! May 2006
o5;26;o6
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
I turned 18 two days ago and let me tell you, it has been awesome. I guess i should talk about the last two weeks as well. I WENT TO CALIFORNIA! That was such a cool experience. i spent 9 days there but it felt like a month. Our hotel was really nice. The people there were awesome but America is so different from Canada. First of all people are rude. I dont even think they mean to be rude but they just are. If you say thank you, they wont say your welcome. they'll either grunt or give a big "uh huh" and vice versa...if you hold a door open they just walk right by like your SUPPOSED to do that for them. The drivers are crazy down there to and the pollution is GROSSSSSS. It was cool though...we stayed in a area where the majority of the population was mexican and it was funny because one night me and my mom were shopping wal-mart and then all of a sudden the announcements came on but they were all in spanish and we didnt understand a damn thing. Hollywood is sooo dirty, i couldnt even believe it. i was so sad when i got there. it is NOT like the movies. I went to universal studios and that was probably the best highlight of the whole trip. We got to take a studio tours and go see where a bunch of famous movies were filmed and how they did it... i saw all of the desperate housewives homes..and i saw the plane scene from war of the worlds so yea...it was pretty cool. I also got to be an audience member in the Tonight Show with Jay Leno... HOW COOL IS THAT? I got to meet Patricia Heaton and Larry the Cable Guy up close and personal. I loved it. Overall the trip was a good one... did lots of shopping, ate lots of new and weird food and tried a bunch of new things.
Sooooo im finally legal, well im legal in alberta. I can do whatever i want. the last two nights i went to the bar. On Wednesday night i went to Cowboys with my cousins and Bri and that was awesome. I liked it there. They played good music and everything. Last night i went to Coyotes and it was just ok. I liked it but im not so sure i liked the dj very much. Its also more of a trashier bar than cowboys. Both of the night i had the SAME limo driver and the SAME male entertainers. I got a new digi for my birthday. i love it lots and lots. I got a bunch of other crap to... and yesterday the bf took me out for lunch and shopping. It was so cute. I love him to pieces. omg we're going on 3 years. thats INSANE. I won a free limo package last night...that made my night. Brittney...the girl that booked the limo package also got a rose and crap for booking the limo and she gave the flower to me<3...awh>
the countdown is definatly on...ONE WEEK TILL GRAD. in 7 days time, i will be crossing the stage. I'm a little nervous but excited all at the same time. I only need one freaking class to graduate and im failing. i need to freaking pass. I bought the rest of my grad outfit in cali...its soooo pretty. i'm wearing all pearls and black gloves...its so vintage and cute. however, while i was on vacation i got a really bad tan so what i should be doing is sitting on my deck right now tanning but its raining out so looks like thats out of the question. nothing left to write about...actually there is stuff to write about but im to lazy to write anymore. HAPPPY UNBIRTHDAY TO ALL
Current Time: 1:51pm
Current Mood: Sick and hungover
Current Song: some song from last night
----------
o5;1o;o6
Where has this month gone? hot damn... 1/3 of the month has already passed and i know i havent updated anything but its because i keep talking about the same thing everytime...grad cali and my birthday. TRUST ME...im an excited little girl. you would be two if you were me. i'm super excited about cali since ive never been on a family vacation and i havent been to california either... im turning 18 which is exciting because now i can live off lottery tickets while i buy booze for my cheap hooker. it will be a good life. Alsoooooo Grad is coming and thats obviously a huge event because im celebrating the last 12 years of my life.
So with cali coming up in like...hours, i just keep thinking about what i wanna buy and shit and WHO i have to buy for. i know i have to bring something back definatly for alex, bri and nikki. but dana wants something and so do a few other people so we'll just have to see. I forrrr sure for sure have to buy grad shit down there such as shoes and jewellry but aside from that i want to get things that you cant really find here...maybe hurley shoes cause they dont sell them here and maybe some sort of expensive designer bag. yea im pretty freaking excited. hopefully me and the family can handle eachother for a week and a half
next comes my b-day and im pretty sure shit for that is finalized. the only thing i want to do is maybe find some clothes or something for the bar but other than that...i know for a FACT that its going to be some sweet shit. On my actual birthday im going out with my family and bri...not like mother and father and stuff, but like all my sweet ass cousins. i love them. We got ourselves a limo package to Cowboys so im super excited. i'm not sure who is all going but we're also celebrating Heather's 24th b-day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US. so there will be a few of us. and thennnn on the 25th im going partying with all of the girls from school. that will be crazy fun. A friend of mine got the limo package and we're going to coyotes. There is going to be me and Nikki and Britt x 2 and Amy and Amanda and Kat and Sarah and Angelica and Shabina andddd yea.... a bunch of us in the limo and its going to be a blast. I'm not really sure what i want for my birthday. im more worried about having money so i can have fun and live it up for the next few weeks and stuff. I ordered my id yesterday and nobody on the face of the planet gets to see it except the person who checks my id when i walk in to the bar. its furkin hoooooorrrrrrrriiiiiiiiidddddddd. ahhh die. so yea...birthday is set. now all i have to do is wait 14 more days and i'll be legal.
After my birthday comes the weekend of grad and now im starting to get super excited. especially since the hotel is actually reserved and tickets are bought and its all starting to come together. it is the one night besides your wedding that you get to go all out and have the time of your life...unless of course your a movie star. butttt im not so im really trying to put everything into this weekend so it will be unforgettable. A lot of my friends are going to some lake to stay in a cabin the day after grad but i'll just be chillin in my hotel with bri and barbara and it will be sweet. I...WE wanna go for breakfast and shit and just hang out downtown and enjoy the luxury of staying in a sweet hotel so its going to be awesome. We have the hotel for the entire weekend so we're going to the bar on the saturday night and shit and we're going to party it up...and then on sunday when all is said and done and we're exhausted, we will go and get our pictures developed so we can freaking laugh at our drunken selves and we can o0o0o and ahhh at how pretty our dresses were..... seriously. i think grad is more fun than a wedding. just like i think christmas is more fun than a birthday. at a wedding, its just about you...everything you want...your big day and its all you you you and yea that might be fun for some people but i think planning something where everyone involved is way better. and with grad you can buy a aqua and maroon colored dress and everyone would just think its gorgeous where as, if you bought an aqua and maroon wedding dress people would probably be scared to take a picture. so yea. the planning has been long and hard and stressful but in the end it will be suchhhhhh a memory.
other than those three things there is not much to say. oh yeaaaaaa... im failing social and funny thing is - i have one class a day and its the only class i need to graduate so figure that one out. i'm really cutting it close to being kicked out of the school so i better get my shit together and start doing what i need to do to pass. but if i DO indeed fail, im sure the chances of being in the same class as brianna this summer are pretty high. so that could be entertaining.
i watched March of the Penguins today and its a documentry on the life of a penguin and it was suprisingly really good. Morgan Freeman does the narration and i like him a lot so the only voice in the movie was his and it turned out to be quite enjoyable. I've decided im in love with baby penguins....aka "chicks". i also watched stay and the Machinist...they were good. Quite twisted however. Stay was confusing and i need to watch it again to fully grasp the concept of it because it was very abstract and i ended up getting somewhat confused by the time it was over...buttttt The Machinist was amazing. It was a great movie about Insomnia and what Guilt can do to you...not to mention Christian Bale did an amazing performance... he went on a diet and put himself down to something like 120pds...which is crazy. needlesss to say i quite enjoyed it. the flames lost which is disappointing for Calgary but well deserved for Anaheim.
sooo normally i dont watch tv..i dont really enjoy it, however i have watched the entire season of Prison Break and next monday it will come to an end. i'm really sad about that because 1) i might not get to watch it cause i'll be in cali and 2) its the only tv show that i actually look forward to. Seriously though Wentworth Miller is sooo good looking. In Underworld he looked like a tool but thats okay cause his gorgeous face made up for it in Prison Break. I think thats all to report for the time being. I'm tired and i want to go to sleep because the sooner i sleep, the soon california comes.
Current Time: 11:29pm
Current Mood: Anxious...fidgety
Current Song: Can't Stop the Rain
o5;26;o6
I turned 18 two days ago and let me tell you, it has been awesome. I guess i should talk about the last two weeks as well. I WENT TO CALIFORNIA! That was such a cool experience. i spent 9 days there but it felt like a month. Our hotel was really nice. The people there were awesome but America is so different from Canada. First of all people are rude. I dont even think they mean to be rude but they just are. If you say thank you, they wont say your welcome. they'll either grunt or give a big "uh huh" and vice versa...if you hold a door open they just walk right by like your SUPPOSED to do that for them. The drivers are crazy down there to and the pollution is GROSSSSSS. It was cool though...we stayed in a area where the majority of the population was mexican and it was funny because one night me and my mom were shopping wal-mart and then all of a sudden the announcements came on but they were all in spanish and we didnt understand a damn thing. Hollywood is sooo dirty, i couldnt even believe it. i was so sad when i got there. it is NOT like the movies. I went to universal studios and that was probably the best highlight of the whole trip. We got to take a studio tours and go see where a bunch of famous movies were filmed and how they did it... i saw all of the desperate housewives homes..and i saw the plane scene from war of the worlds so yea...it was pretty cool. I also got to be an audience member in the Tonight Show with Jay Leno... HOW COOL IS THAT? I got to meet Patricia Heaton and Larry the Cable Guy up close and personal. I loved it. Overall the trip was a good one... did lots of shopping, ate lots of new and weird food and tried a bunch of new things.
Sooooo im finally legal, well im legal in alberta. I can do whatever i want. the last two nights i went to the bar. On Wednesday night i went to Cowboys with my cousins and Bri and that was awesome. I liked it there. They played good music and everything. Last night i went to Coyotes and it was just ok. I liked it but im not so sure i liked the dj very much. Its also more of a trashier bar than cowboys. Both of the night i had the SAME limo driver and the SAME male entertainers. I got a new digi for my birthday. i love it lots and lots. I got a bunch of other crap to... and yesterday the bf took me out for lunch and shopping. It was so cute. I love him to pieces. omg we're going on 3 years. thats INSANE. I won a free limo package last night...that made my night. Brittney...the girl that booked the limo package also got a rose and crap for booking the limo and she gave the flower to me<3...awh>
the countdown is definatly on...ONE WEEK TILL GRAD. in 7 days time, i will be crossing the stage. I'm a little nervous but excited all at the same time. I only need one freaking class to graduate and im failing. i need to freaking pass. I bought the rest of my grad outfit in cali...its soooo pretty. i'm wearing all pearls and black gloves...its so vintage and cute. however, while i was on vacation i got a really bad tan so what i should be doing is sitting on my deck right now tanning but its raining out so looks like thats out of the question. nothing left to write about...actually there is stuff to write about but im to lazy to write anymore. HAPPPY UNBIRTHDAY TO ALL
Current Time: 1:51pm
Current Mood: Sick and hungover
Current Song: some song from last night
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o5;1o;o6
Where has this month gone? hot damn... 1/3 of the month has already passed and i know i havent updated anything but its because i keep talking about the same thing everytime...grad cali and my birthday. TRUST ME...im an excited little girl. you would be two if you were me. i'm super excited about cali since ive never been on a family vacation and i havent been to california either... im turning 18 which is exciting because now i can live off lottery tickets while i buy booze for my cheap hooker. it will be a good life. Alsoooooo Grad is coming and thats obviously a huge event because im celebrating the last 12 years of my life.
So with cali coming up in like...hours, i just keep thinking about what i wanna buy and shit and WHO i have to buy for. i know i have to bring something back definatly for alex, bri and nikki. but dana wants something and so do a few other people so we'll just have to see. I forrrr sure for sure have to buy grad shit down there such as shoes and jewellry but aside from that i want to get things that you cant really find here...maybe hurley shoes cause they dont sell them here and maybe some sort of expensive designer bag. yea im pretty freaking excited. hopefully me and the family can handle eachother for a week and a half
next comes my b-day and im pretty sure shit for that is finalized. the only thing i want to do is maybe find some clothes or something for the bar but other than that...i know for a FACT that its going to be some sweet shit. On my actual birthday im going out with my family and bri...not like mother and father and stuff, but like all my sweet ass cousins. i love them. We got ourselves a limo package to Cowboys so im super excited. i'm not sure who is all going but we're also celebrating Heather's 24th b-day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US. so there will be a few of us. and thennnn on the 25th im going partying with all of the girls from school. that will be crazy fun. A friend of mine got the limo package and we're going to coyotes. There is going to be me and Nikki and Britt x 2 and Amy and Amanda and Kat and Sarah and Angelica and Shabina andddd yea.... a bunch of us in the limo and its going to be a blast. I'm not really sure what i want for my birthday. im more worried about having money so i can have fun and live it up for the next few weeks and stuff. I ordered my id yesterday and nobody on the face of the planet gets to see it except the person who checks my id when i walk in to the bar. its furkin hoooooorrrrrrrriiiiiiiiidddddddd. ahhh die. so yea...birthday is set. now all i have to do is wait 14 more days and i'll be legal.
After my birthday comes the weekend of grad and now im starting to get super excited. especially since the hotel is actually reserved and tickets are bought and its all starting to come together. it is the one night besides your wedding that you get to go all out and have the time of your life...unless of course your a movie star. butttt im not so im really trying to put everything into this weekend so it will be unforgettable. A lot of my friends are going to some lake to stay in a cabin the day after grad but i'll just be chillin in my hotel with bri and barbara and it will be sweet. I...WE wanna go for breakfast and shit and just hang out downtown and enjoy the luxury of staying in a sweet hotel so its going to be awesome. We have the hotel for the entire weekend so we're going to the bar on the saturday night and shit and we're going to party it up...and then on sunday when all is said and done and we're exhausted, we will go and get our pictures developed so we can freaking laugh at our drunken selves and we can o0o0o and ahhh at how pretty our dresses were..... seriously. i think grad is more fun than a wedding. just like i think christmas is more fun than a birthday. at a wedding, its just about you...everything you want...your big day and its all you you you and yea that might be fun for some people but i think planning something where everyone involved is way better. and with grad you can buy a aqua and maroon colored dress and everyone would just think its gorgeous where as, if you bought an aqua and maroon wedding dress people would probably be scared to take a picture. so yea. the planning has been long and hard and stressful but in the end it will be suchhhhhh a memory.
other than those three things there is not much to say. oh yeaaaaaa... im failing social and funny thing is - i have one class a day and its the only class i need to graduate so figure that one out. i'm really cutting it close to being kicked out of the school so i better get my shit together and start doing what i need to do to pass. but if i DO indeed fail, im sure the chances of being in the same class as brianna this summer are pretty high. so that could be entertaining.
i watched March of the Penguins today and its a documentry on the life of a penguin and it was suprisingly really good. Morgan Freeman does the narration and i like him a lot so the only voice in the movie was his and it turned out to be quite enjoyable. I've decided im in love with baby penguins....aka "chicks". i also watched stay and the Machinist...they were good. Quite twisted however. Stay was confusing and i need to watch it again to fully grasp the concept of it because it was very abstract and i ended up getting somewhat confused by the time it was over...buttttt The Machinist was amazing. It was a great movie about Insomnia and what Guilt can do to you...not to mention Christian Bale did an amazing performance... he went on a diet and put himself down to something like 120pds...which is crazy. needlesss to say i quite enjoyed it. the flames lost which is disappointing for Calgary but well deserved for Anaheim.
sooo normally i dont watch tv..i dont really enjoy it, however i have watched the entire season of Prison Break and next monday it will come to an end. i'm really sad about that because 1) i might not get to watch it cause i'll be in cali and 2) its the only tv show that i actually look forward to. Seriously though Wentworth Miller is sooo good looking. In Underworld he looked like a tool but thats okay cause his gorgeous face made up for it in Prison Break. I think thats all to report for the time being. I'm tired and i want to go to sleep because the sooner i sleep, the soon california comes.
Current Time: 11:29pm
Current Mood: Anxious...fidgety
Current Song: Can't Stop the Rain
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