Grade 8

So this little entry has a survey about my grade 8 year and a picture from my grade 8 year. The people in the picture from left to right are: Amanda Erwood, Myself, Stephanie Fehr, Brittany Bishop and Amy Watson.
Suprisingly, 7 years later. I'm still in contact with all of them! Not as good friends with them now as I used to be but at least we still keep in touch.

Your 8th grade year is supposed to be "the worst year of your life." Let's see how much you remember. I know for some it might be hard for you to go back that far!

Year: 2001-2002

1. Who were your best friends? probably nikki and amanda
2. What sports did you play? volleyball
3. Did you buy your lunch? yea pretty much, if i wasnt buying cafeteria lunch then i was walking to shell
4. It's Friday night, where were you? prairie winds park or the cave...lol oh dear
5. Were you a party animal? haha ive definatly mellowed out a lot since then
6. Were you in the "In Crowd"? i would say i was but who knows what "in" is
7. Ever skip school? not really...junior high..they call your parents and then i get in shit...assholes
8. Ever smoke? yeaaaa...
10. Did you get suspended/expelled? noooo
11. Can you sing the alma mater? WHATTTT?!?!?!
12. Who was your favorite teacher? umm..teachers...hmmm....mr davis or someone i dunno
13. Favorite class? i dont really know... junior high classes sucked...especially humanities
14. What was your schools full name? Terry Fox Junior High School
15. School mascot? i have noooo idea... i know we were the trackers(lame) but thats all i know
16.Did you ever go to the dances? maybe one or two but the teen dances were really stupid
17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? NO...those are amazing memories
18. What do you remember most about Junior High? Everything...
19. Favorite memory of your 8th grade year? probably just always having something to do... getting ready forever just to go to some little place... always going to the vault after school
20. Were you ever posted up on the 8th graders wall? this question sucks cause we didnt have that shit
21. Did you have a job your 8th grade year? and again...stupid
22. Where did you go most often for lunch? cafeteria or store
23. What did you do after graduation? after my junior high graduation?... i dont know...
24. Are your closest friends of grade 8 still your closest friends today?... nikki is but everyone else who i chilled with has kinda drifted
25. Did you like your eighth grade year? yep i loved it

Another day...

So... Day #3 of throwing old junk on here. I'm almost done I think. There is a lot of old stuff still but a lot of it is not even worth putting on here. Below is an extremely old picture that I added my own personal touch to. It's a little raunchy but oh well, I enjoy it! Today I am on day #8 of work and I am soooo excited to have tomorrow off. FINALLY!!! It feels like I have been working forever. Nikki and I went to the bank yesterday and converted all of our canadian dollars into US dollars. We leave in 3 sleeps(yay)!!!!!! California Dreamin' all the way.

Well back to adding random stuff! Something to passsss the time away.

-Jessica.xo

Survey!

These are two surveys from October 25 2006 and November 07 2006

TEN FIRSTS
1. First Best Friend: hmm...i think her name was Jennifer Miller...maybe
2. First Screen Name: Jessica
3. First Pet: Teddy the hampster...=)
4. First Piercing: Ears
5. First Crush: haha hmmm...i forgot...really i do
6. First CD: umm i think it might have been like Garth Brooks or some shit when i was like six years old
7. First Car: car...HAHA yea right
8. First Stuffed animal: some elephant that i got when i was a day old in the hospital..i still have it
9. First Love: Alexander
10. First kiss: i dont remember...id have to look at my diary which i probably cant even read the writing in

NINE LASTS
1. Last Alcoholic Beverage: Vodka...on saturday night...lol brittney
2. Last Car ride: home with mother
3. Last Movie Seen: Maybe Saw III...not to sure
4. Last Phone Call: NIkki
5. Last Song: Lucky Boys Confusion - Sexy Ladies...Justin Timberlake
6. Last Bubble Bath: when i lived in my old house when we had a damn jet tub...
7. Last time You Cried: hmm i dont know.. maybe a couple days ago..a week, who knows
8. Last crush: Alex...lol i love him
9. Last kiss: Alex

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
1. Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Noooo
2. Have you ever been arrested? no thank god
3. Have you ever skinny dipped: Yessss
4. Have you ever been on TV: Yesss
5. Have you ever kissed someone, and then regreted it? Yea...a few times in my life, when i was naive
6. Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? ferrrr sureee
7. Have u ever cheated on someone? never in my life...that shit is fucking dumb
8. Have you ever been caught having sex? haha lol

SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING
1.purple DKNY watch
2. Long Silver Earrings
3. Capris
4. Shirt
5. the ITEC bra...omg go get it NOW...its amazing
6. a thong
7. A silver chain

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. Workedd
2. Shopped
3. Brought the B/F lunch
4. Did my hair
5. Showered
6. Hung out with Alex

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. CSI/24
2. You know what with Nikki
3. You know what with Alex
4. Taz...miii puppy
5. The ladies

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO IN NO ORDER
1. Nikki
2. Nikki
3. Nikki
4. Nikki...

THREE CHOICES
1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Hot
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Travel the world and put my foot on every single continent
2. Live a fairy tale life... get married and have kids and all that jazz

ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. she knows who she is...i cant believe i was ever friends with you[/color]

---------------------------------

1. Initials:
JNM

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you
This really cute old lady at my work...and the queen

3. Where was your first kiss?
hmm on the playground

4. For or agaist same sex marriage?
im all for it...hey you cant help who you love

5. Are you homophobic?
nooo and if i was i probably wouldnt have been pro for question number 4

6. Are you bisexual?
nope...

7. Do you believe in God?
not persay but you know...i believe in SOMETHING

8. How many Canadian Provinces have you been to?
lets think...BC anddd Alberta... yea not much

9. How many of the Canadian Provinces have you lived in?
Just good old Alberta

10. Have you ever lived outside of Canada?
Noo

11. Name something you like physically about yourself.
I dont know...it really depends on the day

12. Something non-physical you like about yourself.
once again...depends on the day

13. What's your mom's first name?
Linda

14. What is your dream car?
I like The VW bugs but who knows...I really like Toyota Celica's too

15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Everywhere...i want to step foot on every continent

16. Have you ever had a sleep over with someone from the opposite sex?
Yea...of course

18. Do you download music?
Yes all the time

19. How many illegal things have you done?
more than i can count on my fingers and my toes

20. Where would you want to go on a first date?
not something to cheap and not something to fancy...in between

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
yes...awh

23. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
yes!

24. Do you like President Bush?
from what i've heard hes an ass but i dont keep up with american politics

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
no but i wanna...kinda

26. Have you ever white water rafted?
noo...

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
yea ew gross

29. Have you met a real redneck?
Yes...i live in alberta

30. Are you racist?
no...not intentionally anyways

31. What song are you listening to right now?
sexy ladies...justin timberlake

32. What is your current favorite song?
love stoned...justin timberlake

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Rent....!!!

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
to the b/f's house

36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
no, thats mean

37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
yeppp

39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
probably an overall appearance..you know give em the once over and then you go back to the specifics

40. Do you like yourself?
sure why not, i have to live with me for the rest of my life

41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
ew coffee is sick and Starbucks is NOT an equal company, theres no fair trade...buy your coffee from second cup

44. Say something totally random about yourself.
i hate collar bones and anything in association to collar bones

45. Do you have an iPod?
no...why do i neeeed an ipod

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
not really...

47. Whats your dad's name?
Jeff

48. Do you have braces?
nooope

49. Are you comfortable with your height?
not really, i mean im glad i'm short but i always wish i was a bit taller

50. Do you like someone right now?
i loveeee someone

51. How tall are you?
5'1...if im lucky

52. Do you speak any other language other than english?
umm i can speak a couple words of dutch and spanish

55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yea...quite a few times

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
yea...i been to way to many funerals

57. Do you watch MuchMusic?
if theres good shit on...i find much music has gone down hill

58. What's something that really annoys you?
why people feel the need to always fucking talking about other people

59. What are some things you really like?
umm csi...a lot

60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
yea sure...i like his music..hes kind of a freak

61. Can you dance?
i cant do any organized dance or anything..nothing that has structure but i can dance like at the bar or whatever

62. Have you ever surfed?
haha RIGHTTTT

63. Do you know how to pump gas?
yep

64. Do you drive?
haha no..i failed my learners just the other day

65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
all day and all night

66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
no...

67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
yes...gr 5

68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
yea..fukkin truth or dare

69. What's your favorite province to live in?
this question is dumb

November 05 2006

i love my bitches...yup yup

pub crawl soonnnnn...

20 people... 20 truths

So this little honesty thing is from October 20 2006. I intend on doing another one of these honesty statements soon because I feel like these statements have changed somewhat in the past two years.

STATEMENTS OF PURE HONESTY:
instructions: write twenty statements,
intended to different people.
never tell which one is to who.
1. I hate how we've grown apart and how you went from cute and innocent to a drug addict
2. You probably the only person besides my mother who would ever really be there for me if it came down to it...we've grown apart lately and you've got your friends now and stuff so i dont know whats going to happen but ilu
3. I hate you, you stupid fucking cunt...if you died tomorrow i couldnt give a shit...in fact i hope you die tomorrow and since you fucking believe in god so much i hope he sends your disgusting ass to rot in hell cause we all know you deserve it...and thats what i think about 90% of the time...the other 10% says fuckfuckfuck...shit coulda worked
4. i love you forever and back...you are everything to me
5. every single day i miss you and every single day i think about who you would be today
6. If things were different i believe we would have ended up together... who knows whats to come.
7. Your a stuck up greedy bitch
8. even though we dont act like it, your pretty much my best friend... like a unrecognized one
9. If you keep going the way your going, your going to be a trashy hoe..i truly believe that. you can make it... whats with all this i cant i cant shit...who the fuck puts that in your head. if you think like that you will amount to nothing
10. Your rad, you know it and i know it even though you push my buttons
11. You were my biggest idol growing up and now i look at you in disgust... both of you
12. cunt with a capital A
13. Your amazing, seriously. ive never met someone in my life who i could look at and say "ive never been mad at you and ive never ever thought a single bad thing about you"
14. im not the first girl you did that to and im not the last...rot in hell you fucking pig...
15. you taught me everything...little did i know you were just a whore looking to cheat and im sorry to all the girls that you were dating while we were fooling around
16. although i pretend to like you, i really dont. i havent liked you for 3 years... in fact...3 years tomorrow.
17. we were good friends, to bad you let your dumb little play thing get in the way...oh wait. i should say "the love of your life"
18. i l u..even though i take you for granted and im a total bitch to you...yea i love you to
19. your an asshole, why would anyone want to be around you. you just be little people to the point where you ruin their whole fucking day.
20. i miss you please come home on your four little legs

do you know who the fuck you are cause i sure do

I dont remember who half these people are?...oops

September 2006

So this is the last of my Piczo blogs. September 2006.

o9;12;o6

how the hell do i sum up the last 3 and half months of my life. This is going to be a long ass blog entry... i guess i'll start with what ive generally been doing. So grad came and went. It was amazing. Maybe not grad itself, but definatly the whole experience. Me and Brianna had a gorgeous hotel for the weekend and it was located right in the heart of downtown. So grad started off on the 1st of June with Barbara, Bri, my cousin and myself. We started off by running around and doing last minute things and then we went out for dinner to celebrate at the Cheesecake. When we got back to my house we had a long night of getting ready but it was soo much fun. We got all our toenails painted and we did all the preparations for grad and pretty much just had a sweet ass girls night. Grad morning was fucking HECTIC. I didnt even bother doing my hair or make up in the morning but now that i think about that i probably should have cause my hair looked like ass for grad however brianna's and barbara's hair both turned out really pretty. so we got all packed and made our way down to the ceremony. the ceremony was sweet. since im in the choir i got to be behind the stage the entire time instead of sittin in the crowd yawning. my whole family was there which was exciting...after the ceremonies and the pictures and the presents and all that came the hotel and getting ready for the banquet. so we rushed downtown and had next to no time to get ready. 4 girls in a small hotel room makes for a huge fucking mess. we just barely made it on time but all of us looked amazing. we had gorgeous corsage's and everything. it was pretty much perfect. the banquet was good. i had a nice time and i was all happy and that untilllllll the damn slideshow. thats when it hit me...this is the first day of the rest of my life. no more hanging out in the hallways and seeing everybody everyday...let me tell you, it was sad. it still is sad. life has really changed. so i had my moment of boohoo and all then all was dandy. after eating dinner with my mom and dad and taking pictures with all my friends, i left cause it was pretty boring. so back to the hotel went me nikki barbara and bri and then we got ready for the aftergrad which was literally two blocks away from our hotel. aftergrad was pretty amazing. soooo friggin drunk, i love it. i hardly danced at all but i still had awesome fun. me and brianna ended up fighting about something ridiculous so we didnt talk all night and then when we did talk which was at the end of the night, im not really sure what we talked about. i would have to say that would have probably been one of my drunkest nights where i didnt end up puking. so nikki didnt come back to the hotel with us but we didnt end up getting back to the hotel till well after three in the morning. when i woke up the next morning i had a pretty bad hangover so i went to get up to get some tylenol and i realized...holy fuck this is a messy hotel room. im telling you shit was everywhere. the three of us didnt pull our asses out of bed until like after noon and we werent ready till after 1. we went to eau claire market and had a pretty amazing day. we ate lunch at the market and then just walked around and looked at all these cool little shops. we had planned on spending lots of money and buying stuff but we didnt end up doing so, so instead we went to the arcade and played games for quite a while. we used up 50 bucks on arcade games and got these dinky little toys out of it. its funny cause afterwards we all looked at our stupid little dinosaurs and bouncy balls and we were like "wtflol". So then we went to see the break up and it was a cute movie. After that we decided to go to dinner at Joey Tomatoes and it was an awesome dinner. brianna got the most expensive thing on the menu and it came with this little water thing and crap and we were wondering what it was for and it wasnt until the end of the meal where we realized she was supposed clean her hands in it since she was eating ribs. After that barbara went home and me and bri decided to go to the bar...so we got all dolled up and went to cowboys. it was pretty fun. we got pretty drunk and got hit on a lot...wasnt really any room to dance but it was sweet anyway. we ended up going back to the hotel drunk as hell and then being complete idiots in our hotel room for like two hours. trust me...look at the photos. so the next morning is where my grad weekend ended. it was pretty amazing though and i have some cute pictures and stuff.

so high school is officially done. i said my goodbyes, i cleaned out my locker and now theres nothing left... except for the fact that i failed social...yea i got like 48%... jerks couldnt give me another 2%. So i'll be doing online schooling in january so that i can officially graduate and then go into post secondary.

what have i done since high school?...after high school ended i applied at a million jobs and i finally got hired at the brick. its an okay job. 100% commission so it can get difficult but its not to bad. the people there are okay and its pretty good money so im planning on staying there for a while. other than that ive basically just been hanging out with friends and the b/f and doing whatever. I go to the bar quite a lot...oh the joys of being 18. ive seen a ton of movies but other than that i havent done anything overly exciting. im not friends with brianna anymore and although a lot of stuff has been said in previous entrys about our friendship, there really is nothing left to say. we dont hate eachother or like eachother. our friendship pretty much ended when our grad weekend did. i havent seen her in three months and i rarely talk to her. i guess thats what you get when you have a best friend. like really when you think about it... when you have a best friend you get fucked over... you have so many commitments. and then in the end you just get let down. so yea that whole thing went down the toilet but what can you do.

my puppy is gone. i seriously cried my eyes out when my parents gave her away. i would have done anything to keep her. i was going to move out of my house but i just didnt have enough money so now im sad and i tried to take lots of pictures of us two but i didnt get any good ones. seriously just thinking about how much i miss her right now is going to make me cry.

right now im just really thinking about life. three months ago these were my plans
go to mexico with bri
save up money
buy a computer
retake some classes

not one of those things ended up happening. i just work 24/7 and hang out with a few friends. my cousin just went to mexico and i didnt end up going. my mom is going on a cruise next month and im not going on that either. life is actually kinda shitty... oh well.

i like my new cell phone

oh and im getting a tattoo soon. i have all the ideas and i got the b/f to design it. its pretty sweet

Current Time: 10:28
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Song: Days Go By - Keith Urban

May 2006

A lot of old blogs but it's so nice to re-read them as i'm reposting them! May 2006



o5;26;o6

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

I turned 18 two days ago and let me tell you, it has been awesome. I guess i should talk about the last two weeks as well. I WENT TO CALIFORNIA! That was such a cool experience. i spent 9 days there but it felt like a month. Our hotel was really nice. The people there were awesome but America is so different from Canada. First of all people are rude. I dont even think they mean to be rude but they just are. If you say thank you, they wont say your welcome. they'll either grunt or give a big "uh huh" and vice versa...if you hold a door open they just walk right by like your SUPPOSED to do that for them. The drivers are crazy down there to and the pollution is GROSSSSSS. It was cool though...we stayed in a area where the majority of the population was mexican and it was funny because one night me and my mom were shopping wal-mart and then all of a sudden the announcements came on but they were all in spanish and we didnt understand a damn thing. Hollywood is sooo dirty, i couldnt even believe it. i was so sad when i got there. it is NOT like the movies. I went to universal studios and that was probably the best highlight of the whole trip. We got to take a studio tours and go see where a bunch of famous movies were filmed and how they did it... i saw all of the desperate housewives homes..and i saw the plane scene from war of the worlds so yea...it was pretty cool. I also got to be an audience member in the Tonight Show with Jay Leno... HOW COOL IS THAT? I got to meet Patricia Heaton and Larry the Cable Guy up close and personal. I loved it. Overall the trip was a good one... did lots of shopping, ate lots of new and weird food and tried a bunch of new things.

Sooooo im finally legal, well im legal in alberta. I can do whatever i want. the last two nights i went to the bar. On Wednesday night i went to Cowboys with my cousins and Bri and that was awesome. I liked it there. They played good music and everything. Last night i went to Coyotes and it was just ok. I liked it but im not so sure i liked the dj very much. Its also more of a trashier bar than cowboys. Both of the night i had the SAME limo driver and the SAME male entertainers. I got a new digi for my birthday. i love it lots and lots. I got a bunch of other crap to... and yesterday the bf took me out for lunch and shopping. It was so cute. I love him to pieces. omg we're going on 3 years. thats INSANE. I won a free limo package last night...that made my night. Brittney...the girl that booked the limo package also got a rose and crap for booking the limo and she gave the flower to me<3...awh>
the countdown is definatly on...ONE WEEK TILL GRAD. in 7 days time, i will be crossing the stage. I'm a little nervous but excited all at the same time. I only need one freaking class to graduate and im failing. i need to freaking pass. I bought the rest of my grad outfit in cali...its soooo pretty. i'm wearing all pearls and black gloves...its so vintage and cute. however, while i was on vacation i got a really bad tan so what i should be doing is sitting on my deck right now tanning but its raining out so looks like thats out of the question. nothing left to write about...actually there is stuff to write about but im to lazy to write anymore. HAPPPY UNBIRTHDAY TO ALL

Current Time: 1:51pm
Current Mood: Sick and hungover
Current Song: some song from last night

----------

o5;1o;o6

Where has this month gone? hot damn... 1/3 of the month has already passed and i know i havent updated anything but its because i keep talking about the same thing everytime...grad cali and my birthday. TRUST ME...im an excited little girl. you would be two if you were me. i'm super excited about cali since ive never been on a family vacation and i havent been to california either... im turning 18 which is exciting because now i can live off lottery tickets while i buy booze for my cheap hooker. it will be a good life. Alsoooooo Grad is coming and thats obviously a huge event because im celebrating the last 12 years of my life.

So with cali coming up in like...hours, i just keep thinking about what i wanna buy and shit and WHO i have to buy for. i know i have to bring something back definatly for alex, bri and nikki. but dana wants something and so do a few other people so we'll just have to see. I forrrr sure for sure have to buy grad shit down there such as shoes and jewellry but aside from that i want to get things that you cant really find here...maybe hurley shoes cause they dont sell them here and maybe some sort of expensive designer bag. yea im pretty freaking excited. hopefully me and the family can handle eachother for a week and a half

next comes my b-day and im pretty sure shit for that is finalized. the only thing i want to do is maybe find some clothes or something for the bar but other than that...i know for a FACT that its going to be some sweet shit. On my actual birthday im going out with my family and bri...not like mother and father and stuff, but like all my sweet ass cousins. i love them. We got ourselves a limo package to Cowboys so im super excited. i'm not sure who is all going but we're also celebrating Heather's 24th b-day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US. so there will be a few of us. and thennnn on the 25th im going partying with all of the girls from school. that will be crazy fun. A friend of mine got the limo package and we're going to coyotes. There is going to be me and Nikki and Britt x 2 and Amy and Amanda and Kat and Sarah and Angelica and Shabina andddd yea.... a bunch of us in the limo and its going to be a blast. I'm not really sure what i want for my birthday. im more worried about having money so i can have fun and live it up for the next few weeks and stuff. I ordered my id yesterday and nobody on the face of the planet gets to see it except the person who checks my id when i walk in to the bar. its furkin hoooooorrrrrrrriiiiiiiiidddddddd. ahhh die. so yea...birthday is set. now all i have to do is wait 14 more days and i'll be legal.

After my birthday comes the weekend of grad and now im starting to get super excited. especially since the hotel is actually reserved and tickets are bought and its all starting to come together. it is the one night besides your wedding that you get to go all out and have the time of your life...unless of course your a movie star. butttt im not so im really trying to put everything into this weekend so it will be unforgettable. A lot of my friends are going to some lake to stay in a cabin the day after grad but i'll just be chillin in my hotel with bri and barbara and it will be sweet. I...WE wanna go for breakfast and shit and just hang out downtown and enjoy the luxury of staying in a sweet hotel so its going to be awesome. We have the hotel for the entire weekend so we're going to the bar on the saturday night and shit and we're going to party it up...and then on sunday when all is said and done and we're exhausted, we will go and get our pictures developed so we can freaking laugh at our drunken selves and we can o0o0o and ahhh at how pretty our dresses were..... seriously. i think grad is more fun than a wedding. just like i think christmas is more fun than a birthday. at a wedding, its just about you...everything you want...your big day and its all you you you and yea that might be fun for some people but i think planning something where everyone involved is way better. and with grad you can buy a aqua and maroon colored dress and everyone would just think its gorgeous where as, if you bought an aqua and maroon wedding dress people would probably be scared to take a picture. so yea. the planning has been long and hard and stressful but in the end it will be suchhhhhh a memory.

other than those three things there is not much to say. oh yeaaaaaa... im failing social and funny thing is - i have one class a day and its the only class i need to graduate so figure that one out. i'm really cutting it close to being kicked out of the school so i better get my shit together and start doing what i need to do to pass. but if i DO indeed fail, im sure the chances of being in the same class as brianna this summer are pretty high. so that could be entertaining.

i watched March of the Penguins today and its a documentry on the life of a penguin and it was suprisingly really good. Morgan Freeman does the narration and i like him a lot so the only voice in the movie was his and it turned out to be quite enjoyable. I've decided im in love with baby penguins....aka "chicks". i also watched stay and the Machinist...they were good. Quite twisted however. Stay was confusing and i need to watch it again to fully grasp the concept of it because it was very abstract and i ended up getting somewhat confused by the time it was over...buttttt The Machinist was amazing. It was a great movie about Insomnia and what Guilt can do to you...not to mention Christian Bale did an amazing performance... he went on a diet and put himself down to something like 120pds...which is crazy. needlesss to say i quite enjoyed it. the flames lost which is disappointing for Calgary but well deserved for Anaheim.

sooo normally i dont watch tv..i dont really enjoy it, however i have watched the entire season of Prison Break and next monday it will come to an end. i'm really sad about that because 1) i might not get to watch it cause i'll be in cali and 2) its the only tv show that i actually look forward to. Seriously though Wentworth Miller is sooo good looking. In Underworld he looked like a tool but thats okay cause his gorgeous face made up for it in Prison Break. I think thats all to report for the time being. I'm tired and i want to go to sleep because the sooner i sleep, the soon california comes.

Current Time: 11:29pm
Current Mood: Anxious...fidgety
Current Song: Can't Stop the Rain

April 2006

April 2006...soooo old!

o4;29;o6

It's been decades since my last entry and its not that ive been neglecting it...its just been that ive been so busy with other things in my life. I just wrapped up the production of Cinderella Wore Combat Boots and it was AMAZING! It was soooo much fun and although i'm upset that drama is actually over for the rest of my high school career, i am very very happy. maybe now i can actually get back to my life and start focusing on social. i'm failing that class horribly and its the only class that i need to graduate. I had the wrap up party for the production last friday at my house and it turned out to be not to bad. Somewhat of a gong show but hey...i can deal. Some of the people that were there kind of reminded me of myself 5 years ago. One girl who was there ended up getting pretty drunk and started bawling and confessing her true feelings for some boy. she claimed she "loved" him and that it was "sooooo real"...and i thought this to be extremely hilarious and immature however i can totally empathize because i used to be like that in junior high. lol 13 years old and crying over some loser who i had talked to once or twice in my life. yep im sure ive claimed that i loved a guy a dozen times in my life. Every other week i had some crush who i was convinced was my soul mate. needless to say i GREW UP and totally got out of that phase. i dont resent the girl at my party at all though for doing what she did and kind of being a downer to the party because she is new to the social situation, like VERY new. So i just ignored her all night and let her sit in her corner and cry. Then there was also the issue of the bff that night. I'm telling you i do NOT know how someone has the ability to cry for 7 hours. and im not just talking about *sniff sniff*...im talking about full fledged wailing. I think she was crying for purposes that even she herself didnt understand. life...love...happiness. yea it was all in there. anyways its always good to comfort them in their time of need. and obviously she needed to be comforted because she rarely cries but maybe next time i'll just make sure she doesn't milk the bottle like its the last cow on earth.

Last sunday i went to scary movie 4...needless to say i didnt think to much of it in the first place so i definatly wasnt let down. i'm not really a fan of the scary movie series. i enjoy the first one and thats about it. I usually like to write about what i bought and what i did and all that stuff but its been so freaking long since ive wrote that i cant even remember. I bought some skirts for california from Old Navy...their cute. i love them. and i bought the Tiesto cd. its sweet although for some reason i like disc one better than disc 2. next week is the drama festival and that will most likely be super exciting. after that is cali, bday and grad. im not sure which im most excited about. I bought my banquet tickets but i still havent ordered my hotel and its getting close to crunch time. all the hotels are quickly being all booked and if thats the case come june 2nd then im going to be super pissed. i mean seriously. who wants to get super wasted and then just go back to the rents house afterwards...not i. so hopefully i can get that shit sorted out soon. i just wish brianna would get her poop in a group cause although i want to go with her more than anything and it would be super fun...im kind of regretting it. ive already given up so much going with her and now im sacrificing even more as time drags on. its not solely her fault because her source of income is her family but when she does get money in her hands it disappears. if she could just learn to cut back...maybe she would be able to help save some money cause even if she couldnt scrounge up money for the hotel and shit, she still has to buy stuff for her grad outfit AND she needs money for the actual grad night cause shes not going to get drunk off of her good looks. well she might be able to but it would be safe to not slut around in order to get drunk. so hopefully everything pulls itself together. if things dont work out with her there is ALWAYS other options. i dont want to resort to them but if im not happy with the way things are looking by the time i leave for california then i will probably start making new plans. i do not want to ditch her but everytime i give her deadlines, she never meets them. and i dont think im being unreasonable by saying that i want to be reassured for grad. so yea, im really hoping that shit gets sorted out. its a good thing i bought an extra banquet ticket cause if things fall through with bri and i, she'll still have barbara but at least i can invite someone else. The boyfriend wont go to my grad. asshole. he just hates social functions. but i dont really care cause it is a night to celebrate my school life and i think you should do that with people who have been involved with your education. and needless to say, although bri and i have only known eachother for this year, we still have all of our options and all of that together. We're both die hard drama and choir nerds so i want to celebrate grad with her because in the future if i want to start my own career or something she'll probably be involved since we like the same things. and she might not get to come out for my 18th birthday so i really want her there for grad.

soooo on a way more serious note. ive had some health issues lately and i really truly thought that i might be pregnant so i went to the clinic to have a pregnancy test andddddddd it turned out to be negative. i'm telling you it was one of the most scariest five minutes of my life. i was just sitting there in this little room with my dear friend nikki and she was holding my hand and we were just waiting and waiting and waiting. it felt like an eternity and as soon as the nurse walked in and gave me the news, i was sooo happy. and although i was so sure that if i was pregnant that i would have an abortion however looking at it now, i dont know if i could do it. my beliefs on the subject tend to contradict because i really truly do not believe on killing anything living. i dont care if your a serial killer that murdered 15 women or if your a little embryo...you are a living being. however when i look at the state of the world we live in today, i cringe. You've got drug dealers killing innocent people with deadly needles on every street corner, corrupt government systems, horrible environmental conditions... who would want to bring anything into this world. and although it is my dream to have kids someday...sometimes it makes me think about if its worth it. and if indeed i did bring a child into this world, i would want them to have the best life possible. what could me - a 17 year old girl who has just graduated high school offer a kid. They are your responsibility for the rest of your life. I also couldnt give my child up for adoption because ive seen first hand many many kids that are foster kids or adopted children and they just have these huge puzzle pieces missing in their lives and it creates this uncertainty for them. and i wouldnt want my child to have to go through that. to have to wonder WHY their real mother gave them up...if she really loved them. yes yes yes, its a lot to ponder and im very happy that i was in fact NOT pregnant because i am NOT ready.

To talk about something else...im watching the flames game right now and we're winning. I rarely watch the games but Nikki and alex got me all excited so i decided to watch it tonight. i usually check the scores in the paper and what not but im just not that big of a fan when it comes to watching the games unless its live. ughhh I HATE BANDWAGON JUMPERS. you know those people who dont give a damn all season long whether or not the flames lose or win but then the second the play offs start, its like their the flame's number one fans. and although it is good to support something like your home team, however do it all year long.

so i leave this blog entry with two hopes... the first one being that everything turns out perfect for grad and the second one being that i never have to go through the chance of something unknown and unwanted again.

Current Time: 10:35pm
Current Mood: Groggy...blah
Current Song: Color My Eyes - Dj Tiesto

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o4;12;o6

GUESS WHAT TODAY IS!?!?!? one month till cali and one one week till opening night of the show. I'm excited and highly anticipating everything. I just wish it would hurry up and get here already. SOOO my life consists of grad and the play right now cause im cool. I just want everything to turn out perfect for grad so ive turned into this sketchy bizarre freak-o woman to make sure that everything is done. Mother wont let me buy shoes off the internet. since i would most likely be buying from that states, she says its a waste of money when were just going there soon. I went shopping with craptacular brianna today and bought her grad shoes. Actually i decided that their not going to be her grad shoes but rather something else shoes like possibly bar shoes or something. anyways today got me thinking about other things that i had somewhat been neglecting. like my bra...yea i dont know whats going on in that department. andddd my purse andddd accesories. i kinda forgot about that crap. I also need to get on ordering my id asap so that i can actually go to the bar on my birthday.

in other news...i won five bucks on a scratch ticket...oh the joys of life.

this weekend is easter and im super excited cause i super love holidays. especially easter cause i think its the prettiest holiday. Valentines shmalentines. pink and red and white and all that shit....pretty but not for me. i like the pastels and crap. and easter means chocolate and candy and all that stuff that makes your teeth rot.

here comes peter cotton tail
hopping down the bunny trail
hippity hoppity easter's on its way
bringing all the girls and boys
baskets full of easter joys
hippity hoppity easter's on its way

i applied for a position as a camp counsellor today. i heard about it through vida. This is such a good job for me and i filled it out and all that and then what happens... brianna starts filling out the same form and she says to me "do you really want to go for 8 hours of medical training on June 3rd and eight hours on June 4th?" i didnt read the sheet all the way and BTW june 2-4 is when im booking my grad hotel so i dont want to be taking no cpr courses. AHHHHHH ALSKDJAGSLDKGJALSDGAJLSDKJG. IHATEMYLIFE.

note to self: you are lame

Current Time: 11:05pm
Current Mood: Anxious
Current Song: That easter song

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o4; o9; o6

MY COMPUTER IS A PIECE OF SHIT! Its pretty much broken which means i cant work on piczo or anything. I got my dresses in the mail. YAYYYYYYY!!! They turned out so gorgeous, i love em. They only need to be altered in one spot and its no big deal but other than that they fit wonderfully. Now that they have arrived i've become even more excited with stuff going on. I'm pretty much just super excited for the entire night. and although i do have a crap load of expenses, it will be all worth it. the following is a price list that i worked out although its just a rough guess...

dress x2 - $200.00
shoes - $50.00
earrings - $10.00
necklace - $15.00
gloves - $30.00 ?
tiara - $50.00
nails - $50.00
makeup - $20.00
hotel - $100.00
extras - $100-$200

I'm pretty sure that guess will be way off but i want some idea. i was actually planning on buying most of that stuff in california so the prices could be way different. for instance, i could find shoes for like twenty bucks or maybe i see some handmade necklace for thirty but who knows. i was planning on buying nikki and bri something down there to for grad. like some sort of accessory they could wear for grad, however i think im just going to look for one for nikki. i was planning on getting bri one but as far as i know, were not doing anything for grad which is fine by me cause nikki wants to go to the bar and so do i. i cant rely on bri to actually not annoy me enough to the point where we can make plans and stick to them. she spent the entire weekend at my house and although on friday it got off to a shaky start seeing as how i was fuming at something she did to really piss me off but when we actually met up, i was like "ok i can let this get the best of me and scream at her all night orrrr i can just try and have a good time" and good time i had up until about thirty seconds before she left. i dont need shit like that in my life. since the start of my blogs, i have posted about how me and bri are fighting or not fighting and its getting so lame. i believe that without the feeling of deep dislike or maybe even hate, you cannot feel love but i spend half of our friendship hating her and OH MY FUCK. so pretty much fuck it. im not going to waste my time hating her or anything. she wasnt a priority in my life after i forgave her and i make her one this weekend and try and build things up even more and then it just gets shot to shit. i feel like she wants to fight. like she needs it or something. every other time i talk to her shes mad at her mom or barbara's a bitch or this or that and shes constantly fighting and sure me and my dad get pissed at eachother lots but its no big deal. i dont fight with my friends, or hardly anyone else for that matter. she needs to realize that i love her and although she pushes my buttons and i scream and want to kill her, im still making an effort to hang out with her and everything because in fact i DO want to be friends. its a slow going process and it takes time to start over but i saw potential and she talked about how our biggest flaw is the frustration we have towards eachother and the fights it cause and how we need to overcome it but i see nothing happening here. we just fight more. so where does a person draw the fucking line. i say to her "im not hanging out with you on grad cause your to unreliable" and she acts like she doesnt give two shits when infact, she cared so much that i went out of my way to make nikki realize that brianna had to be part of my plans for grad night because i did indeed want her there. and so now today i just have to tell nikki "fuck brianna she doesnt want to go to the bar with us or anything cause shes back to being all pissy" grrr that woman pisses me off. and usually i say things to balance it out...like ying and yang but tonight i just feel like its all bad cause im so pissed that i really want grad plans confirmed by the end of the week and she had to go and be a bitch and piss me off resulting in her getting cut from the plans altogether. FUCKKKKKKK. in reality, without hate or haste talking. i do fucking still want to be friends with her and i do fucking want to hang out with her on grad but i wish she would get trampled by 1000 llamas first or something cause i need a good laugh.

so boobs and bras...i need a strapless bra for grad but i hate strapless bras cause they never stay up, they just make my boobs look weird and stuff and they look much better braless but since the dress is a little big, im scared i'll throw my arms in the air and it will just come down. omg i would never live that down. lol. so i was thinking of those gel ones but my mom says they suck so im kinda at a loss. WHAT DO I DO

i need a new digital camera...asap. what island do you think santa is vacationing on right now cause i need to find him to tell him what i want need for christmas...or you know...what i need in a week. off to rent rent. get it?

Current Time: 10:24
Current Mood: Very annoyed
Current Song: Take The Stairs ( Angels and Airwaves )

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o4; o4; o6

Oh my gee, its already April..where has the time gone. I keep looking and i cant find it and then i when i try and slow down and evaluate everything i find myself running to catch up with time. Life is passing by and im not getting any younger which is why i need to get a move on. Mainly with school but most likely a few other things as well. first of all i would like to say that tonight at 1 in the morning something really cool will happen. well probably not really cool but im a geek and i found it entertaining so i shall share it. as everyone knows tomorrow will be April the fifth... written o4; o5; o6 now tonight at 1:02am...the date and time will look like this:01:02:03am...hour minutes seconds
combined with the date it looks like this:
01:02:03:04:05:06yea i must say im pretty sweet but depending on how you write the date this could occur in the month of may. anyyyyyywayyyysssss its been a few lightyears since i wrote and not much has been going on...actually crap has gone on but ive forgotten about it. IM SUPER FREAKING BUSY for the next two months. like i'm talking "hi this is jessica please hold...hi this is jessica please hold...hi this is jessica please hold..." and it all started at the beginning of April. Over the next two weeks i have 27 hours or something like that of play rehearsal there is practice everyday leading up to the 19th which is the opening night of my play

Cinderella Wore Combat Boots

its been a long slow going process but the end result will be magnificent. anyyyways right after that comes a choir concert which i find myself meticulously preparing for. and then the week after that i'm going to the drama festival at the u of c which will be a great learning adventure. and then comes...CALIFORNIA BABY! i guess you could say im a little excited. anywho...cali for a while, im not sure how many days and then right after i get back i have nails and hair and all that crap to do to prepare for my b-day and grad. My birthday is May24th and whos excited !?!?!?!? seriously - i can hardly contain myself. legal age. I pretty much have a week planned for just going to the bar. soo after that comes grad and YES im on the grad list. why wouldnt i be, i have well over enough credits to graduate. speaking of grad - i bought my grad dress and i love it to bits. My mother actually bought three grad dresses. Two for me and one for Nikki. the one that im wearing to the banquet is all red and formal and cuteee shit and the one that im wearing to aftergrad or the bar or wherever i go is 50's and its sooo pretty. its the most simple dress possible so its easy to make it unique and all gorgeous. more about what im wearing and doing and all that later. In other news, i am the biggest movie nerd ever and i love watching and buying dvd's and i counted my collection the other day and i well exceed over 100 which is pretty neat. i watched Pride & Prejudice last night and to be brutally honest...it was a bore. it progresses way to slow and doesnt have enough mini climax's in the movie to keep you interested. although Keira Knightley proves that she can suit any role and does an amazing job conveying her emotions in this movie, its not one that i would list as my favorites. however something about it made me watch it till the very end with some interest so maybe it was a good movie. Brokeback Mountain comes out today as well as Chronicles of Narnia i believe and Narnia was an awesome movie to see in theatres however im not to sure how good it will be to watch at home on my small tv. I havent seen Brokeback Mountain but i love Jake Gyllenhal and Heath Ledger. their some pretty amazing actors. Donnie darko...WATCH IT. so yea im excited to see that movie to say the least. and onto inspirational songs. if you have not heard this song or listened to the lyrics in this song, i highly recommend that you do. Michael's voice in the song has so much emotion and it just makes you think about whats going on around you. download it NOW.

Michael Jackson's "Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me, Pretending That They're Not Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place To Be
That's Why I'm Starting WithMe
(Starting With Me!)

i didnt add all of the lyrics cause its a long song and theres a lot of na-na's and oooooooo's and background this and thats so i thought id give the jist of it. but its such a good song. i love it x 3. In the past little while i have read both Angels & Demons and The Da Vinci Code and NO they are NOT the first books that i have read by Dan Brown. As far as controversy's and speculation and what if's go, i must say that Da Vinci Code was better but for adventure and more on the edge of your seat type book i LOVED Angels & Demons. The thing that i really enjoyed about both books was that the history within them spanned centuries however the actual time the book took place in was about a 24-hour time period. so i read those and now im just waiting for the movie to come out although i will be in cali on opening night but whatever. So this bri thing has taken flight again and who knows when it will come crashing back down but we'll just have to see. i dont have time for sentimentals and hate and shit at the moment so i'll leave it at that.

Current Time: 11:14pm
Current Mood: Anxious...grad dress please come soon
Current Song: Man In The Mirror (Michael Jackson)

March 2006

...And some more. March 2006


o3;22;o6
Talk about neglecting the blog and piczo or what... i haven't wrote in ages. I was looking at older entries earlier and i laughed cause my spelling and grammer and punctuation is so off and random. This thing isnt supposed to be an essay, it's just supposed to be somewhere that i can express what im thinking about and feeling. its not like i take the time to think about if my sentences make sense. i should cause i realize half of the crap i write confuses everyone including me. Anyways...the last time i wrote was friday. since then i havent done that much. On monday i skipped school AGAIN and went out with nikki. we went here there and everywhere. We met Alex at the mall and had lunch with him and then went to get my hair done. I chopped so much of it off. Seriously...brand new hair-dooooo. its sweet. before it only had like two layers and bangs and it was sooo long, it went under my boob and now, its still long and all but i have five million layers. I LOVE IT. its kinda choppy and cuteee. Then we bought three boxes of hair dye and had a hay day in my bathroom. it was crazy. my hair now has a ton of bright red in it and it looks sweet. we also put a lighter color in the bottom of my hair. yep sweetest hair ever - ilu nikki - Today i skipped school and went out with alex. we just walked the mall and crap and then went to winners. Alex bought jeans and a sweet hurley camo hat<3>
Current Time: 11:38pm
Current Mood: Sad <-> happy
Current Song: Beautiful Disaster

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o3;17;o6

It has definatly been a while since i last entered anything and a lot shit has happened since then, most of which i dont really care to get into. annnnnyyyyyways, i went to the doctor yesterday to talk about my sleeping habits and other things and next thing you know, shes giving me a sheet to take to some lab where i can get all these tests done to see if i have diabetes and all this crap. I have to get bloodtests done which super suck cause I HATE NEEDLES. aside from that though yesterday turned out to be pretty sweet. i was originally going to go to school but that plan fell through due to the fact that nikki stayed home from school to. so she came over and we tried on pretty much all of my clothes leaving my room in shambles. After that we kinda dolled ourselves up and then Alex picked us up and we went to the doctors. After that we went to shoppers to get the medicine that i needed and Alex needed to get a few things too and while we were there we decided that we wanted yummy Boston Pizza. needless to say...good food to go with a good day. after that we were going to go to a movie but no good movies were playing so we just went to the movie store and alex bought me some new dvd's. I got... Elizabethtown<3 which is such a sweet movie, In Her Shoes, Wedding Crashers and The Devil's Rejects. We ended up watching The Devil's Rejects last night cause i hadn't seen it and neither had Alex and let me say that it was a very weird movie. It wasnt bad, it was just abnormally weirdddddd. I hate movies like that cause it just makes me think of if i were ever a torture victim. So new dvd's = sweetness. I watched In Her Shoes today and that movie is sooooooo cute. It was just one of those movies that make you stop and say "AWHHHHHH". So since i last wrote, my eye infection has gone away and a whole bunch of other crap has happened. I got my class changed so that i dont have to wake up for school in the morning. Thats a pretty sweet deal andddd plus, I now have a million people in my class instead of just Sandeep. I love Sandeep to pieces but that child skipped so much. I went out of town last weekend which was ok cause i got into two bars without being id'd. It was sweet cause Brianna actually is of legal age and she got id'd. It wasnt bad hanging out in a small town but it did get boring at times. I found a love/hate passion for puzzles which i never knew existed. i also found a passionate love for people which i never knew existed and a passionate hate for people which i never knew existed. I want to take this time to recognize someone who has stuck by me for the last 6 years of my life

Miss Nikki
where would my life be without you today? what type of person would i be. we've never been best friends which i admire cause we'd rip eachothers heads off but we've never drifted apart or let anything come between us. your one of the only people that i can talk about every aspect of my life to and you'll understand and know exactly what to say. You helped me so much on Saturday night and even though you weren't with me last weekend, you were the only person who made sure i was okay. i love you for all the subtle things you do <3

last weekend some pretty shitty stuff went down that made me think a lot about my past and about life itself. i put myself in danger for someone who didnt deserve it and went against my own fear and beliefs to protect someones drunken stupidity. I've made my mistakes and ive associated myself with the wrong people and now that ive realized it, it's time to move on and stop wondering about the what if's. this page has gotten no where in the past week and a half cause my internet is completely fukkkkked up. I need to invest in a new computer. I'm trying to finish this shit slowly but surely. hopefully by the end of March it'll be completed. So i rented Domino for tonight and i'm going to Alex's house so i'll update laterrrr...

Current Time: 7:44
Current Mood: Happy and excited
Current Song: Too Much Love Will Kill You (Queen) this was the song that freddy wrote while he was dying of aids.

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o3;o8;o6

I think i have an eye infection or something. it really hurts everytime i blink and crap. so today was a boring day. went to school and sat in the office for two hours and then ended up rescheduling. My page is actually coming along pretty well. Not to many people in the public have seen it but soon it'll be done and presentable. all the stuff on my page as well as bri's page is original. I made it all by myself. soooo one more day of school left and then another long weekend. life is sweet. i have no idea where i should go when it comes to my page. WHAT NEXT?!?!? gahhhh im sooooo bored. Along with my eye infection, i think im just sick in general. we'll see what happens. anyways...keep it sleazy<3

Current Time: 4:46pm
Current Mood: Bored/hungry
Current Song: Picture

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o3;o7;o6

It's already march 7th. this freaking month is zooming by. today was grandma's birthday. i called her and wished happy birthday and all that jazz. So i talked about how i was going to visit my little cousin in my last blog but this shall be the follow up story...OMFG!!! so i leave bright and early sunday morning expecting to be home by 2. all is good. my family is crazy and being bottled up with them in a van makes them crazier but crazy fun so it was pretty sweet. anyways THE FREAKIN VAN BROKE DOWN. yea like 4/5 of the way there. but never fear, we fixed it temporarily and continued onward...so all is good (fastforward >> happybirthdaypresentsfoodkisses) and then the van is fixed and were back on the highway. i was sleeping by this time when i hear the van come to a halt and everyone stop swearing. WE BROKE DOWN AGAIN!!! butttt we managed to fix it and then we were racing down the highway once again with the hope that we'd make it home...that was short lived. the third and final time we broke down it was definite... so i ended up sitting in a van on the side of the highway from 2pm till 7pm and asdlkgajsljoaisualsfjaldsfjladsj most boring time of my life. fun little road trip turned out to be an annoying freezing cold ride buttttttt i still had fun. anyways shayla looked happy. she has a cute little room and everything. the clothes we bought her fit good. brianna's birthday is coming up...what to buy. i hate buying gifts. i over analyze what to get and spend way to much money. however i want to get her something fun. alcohol...a given and aside from that ummmmm dunno maybe...(five minutes pass) yea im at a loss. it'll hit me and then i'll get back to you on that one. so i should really go blow dry my hair. i just got out of the shower and its all scraggly and wet cause im to lazy to do anythin with it. soooo 67 days till california. whos excited? IM EXCITED. travelling is my dream. i want to see everything five times over and discover every aspect of life. well except nasty ass food cause im picky. but other than that...GAHHH IM TIRED. i keep yawning so i think im going to go to sleep or do something more entertaining to occupy my mind. birthday cake?!?!?!?!

Current Time: 11:00
Current Mood: Tired, bored, lazy
Current Song: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Elton John)

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o3;o4;o6

So its saturday night and i'm bored. I was going to go out and then Nikki and i got lazy and decided it was to far. SOOOOOOO she might come over later but who knows. Bri slept over on thursday and i finally got her starting to ready HIS DARK MATERIALS. It's my favorite book series. or at least its on my top 10. Tomorrow i'm going to visit my little cousin. shes turning 11 and i'm happy to see her grow up. In the year 2000 when she was just 5 years old, water claimed the life of her 7-yr old brother. since then she been living in the shadow of her mothers life of turmoil. My cousin Taylor was Shayla's best friend and big brother. Sometimes its hard to look at her and not see Taylor. She has so many of his qualities. it breaks my heart to look back at the life shes had and what shes had to go through. i hope that in the future she becomes something amazing and achieves all her dreams. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAY...I LOVE YOU!


in the west the sun sets and another day dies
and off in the distance a little girl cries
look for the girl in the pretty pink dress
she seems nice and happy but her head is a mess
dolled up with lace and cute tiny bows
her worlds filled with black but nobody knows
behind is a past filled with all tears
ahead is a life, devoted to fears
life is a game and she willing to lose
theres always two paths, which will she choose
for its dreams which give us hope, the hope to believe
but something tells her that dreams can decieve
believe in your heart for it knows what is right
life's a battle, its a struggle, its a war, its a fight
but please know that in life, whatever you do
i promise forever, i'll be looking out for you
you wont be that girl in the little pink dress
at least not as long as you have your big cousin jess
shayla i love you, remember what i say
in the east the sun rises and awaits a new day


yea so i pretty much lover her x 10000000...anyways new subject. i started this blog when it was march 4th however it is now march 5th...hmmmmmm i have to wake up in 5 hours and i can gurantee that im not excited for that. okay so i wanna watch the movie Proof. someone please tell me why i havent watched it yet? is it good...i wonder. ughhhh four days of school next week and then another long weekend. holy late batman, i should go to sleep now. i bid you adieu

Current Time: 2:54
Current Mood: Tiredddddddddd
Current Song: November Rain (Guns n Roses)

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o3;o2;o6

It's March 2nd and i should be in school right now...but i'm not. Anyways i went to see Firewall yesterday and it was just meh. Not anything special about that movie at all. Usually i have something to say whether its good or bad but this one was just so plain. It was funny per say but holy crap did Bri and I laugh through the whole thing. Maybe laughing was our solution of staying awake. So I started watching Serenity last night and that movie is way tripped out. I'm telling you its so confusing. Anyways i didnt end up watching very much of it cause i got tired and i hate watching only half of a movie and then having to finish the other half later. LEGO Star Wars = saweeetttt. except that stupid ass race that you have to do pissed me off. took soooooo long. I suck at racing games. i could bet my life that i suck. Ughhh i have rehearsal tonight. Its starting to get soooooo annoying. I know the end product will be super cool and funny but right now we don't have a set or anything and we keep going over the same stuff everyday. March is the month of the irish. WEAR GREEN ON MARCH 17th! I'm pretty sure ive never worn green on any St. Patricks day. that might change though seeing as how ive managed to accumulate a lot of green clothes in the past little while. Anyways this is probably the most boring entry of the decade. be warned though...it could get worse. yea my life pretty much sucks, so maybe i'll drink tonight. hurrah!

Current Time: 10:09am
Current Mood: BLAH
Current Song: The Scientist (Coldplay) watch wicker park<3

February 2006

And more old posts....this time they're from February 2006


o2;28;o6



Where the crap did February go? Infact, where is my life going. I feel like i pushed fast forward when it comes to my life and now im watching it go by. Don't get me wrong, i have no regrets. my life has been pretty amazing thus far considering i never had high hopes for myself but i still sit in awe trying to remember all the good memories as well as the bad. i figure if i live my life only concentrating on all the good stuff then i would never really know that it is actually good. We distinguish the difference between good and bad. if there was no bad, there would be no good. no up without a down. everything has a balance and i realize that in order to savour the good moments in life, i must realize what the bad ones are. i live my life in the moment and i'm not going to lie, but maybe i live my life so in the moment that after that momet passes it leaves my memory forever. is that a way to live a life? Just the other day i was sitting and reminiscing with an old friend and we were talking about crazy stuff that we've done and she brought up this time where her, Nikki and i had drank one night and she had ended up kicking me out with Nikki. We were going to go to some guy's house to sleep and we had been wandering the streets for an hour seeing as how i couldnt go home or else i'd be caught in a lie. Anyways in the distance Nikki and i had heard someone screaming my name and it turned out it was Megan in hysterics about my dad phoning and all this stuff. Anyways it was a pretty crazy night to say the least but i had no memory of it. In the balance of my life, i thought i had everything worked out but now im realizing that i dont. for every crazy ass thing that i've done hanging out with friends, i've also spent that much time by myself whether it be reading a book or watching a movie. for everytime i said hate, i said the word love. i have had complete balance in my life except for one area. i have never just stopped. I am always going. even when im not actually going, i am. i never recollect or ponder. i just do. i use my instinct to the fullest and never do i stop. some people in life have the opposite problem that i do. they live their whole life stopped. My friend Brianna is one of those people that is stopped. I never blamed her for it but i never tried to put it into clear perspective for her either. she is always over analyzing every single thing she does. i think she has her best interests at heart because i know she wants to be happy, but you can always tell the shes never really happy. maybe i shouldnt use the word happy, but shes never really comfortable. How do you describe someone that is mentally challenged? you would probably say that they rely on other people to make all of their decisions for them because they are incapable of doing so. Brianna is in a sense retarded and not because she was born like that but because shes stopped. Sometimes i feel so sorry for her because i know what shes misssing out on and then sometimes im so rude by getting pissed off because i feel like im stopping my life to help her out with hers. Have you ever met someone that said to you "i cant dance"? of course you have people say it all the time. but i know that when bri says it, she means it. maybe she can dance but i really know she cant because of what her mind tells her. it is the biggest force in her life that is working against her. she lets her mind take hold and grasp the words that her family says to her which degrades her. she lets her mind take the "what ifs" of every situation and multiply them by a thousand so that she is so helpless that she lets others make decisions for her. this girl has the biggest heart ever and yet she is so powerless against her mind. it is because of that, which is what makes her who she is today. she is the best of the best and i know what she is capable of. if she used her mind to her advantage and got motivated and got the rightfully deserved self-confidence, she could have so much more. When it comes to my heart she happens to be my best friend who i cherish beyond belief but when it comes to my mind, she is just a helpless creature who needs sanctuary from herself. maybe i can help her and maybe i cant. maybe theres nothing wrong with her at all. all i know is that my life wont stop but i can slow it down to catch to catch a breath and i really hope the brianna can catch up to me because it would be wonderful to graduate and experience everything else in the world with her. anyways getting back to the center. im thinking about this stuff because my 18th birthday is in 3 months and its pretty unbelievable. soon i'll have a diploma and i'll be checking the box that says "adult". pretty crazy to think about but its exciting. so end of february and beginning of march. so many birthdays. not sure exact dates but heres a few b-days off the list

Shayla

Grandma

Auntie Michelle

Auntie Kelly

Brianna

Reanna

Angelica

Brittney

theres a ton more but i cant think. so lately i've been slacking x 100000 when it comes to school. woops. i went to see date movie and final destination 3 in the past two days. both mediocre movies. blahh anyways this is getting boring and i need to do my page...and homework... and the list goes on..........=\



Current Time: 8:36

Current Mood: Frustrated

Current Song: Brand New Colony (The Postal Service<3)



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o2;22;o6



I have had 8 days off to do whatever I wanted and what do i end up doing? I end up staying home sicker than paris hilton's panties. I start school again tomorrow. I'm not excited. Its weird cause usually i love school and friends and everything and lately i just feel like school is such a huge drag. I settled things with the douchebag...aka brianna. They wont be settled forever but maybe for a while at least. It's weird how the people you hate or the people you consider enemies, are the ones you rarely speak to and rarely fight with. Obviously something triggered your hate towards them at some point in your life but now their just people with a bad label. It's the ones that you cherish and think about, that you battle with. maybe out of love or difference of opinion, but in the end shouldn't love out way it all? I suppose not as long as everyone has a point of view and a mind of their own. Anyways life is good, everything has been smooth sailing minus the freaking sickness and jasdlkasdj F***ing ZELDA. AHHHHH i cant get pass this boss and it makes me throw my controller and stomp all around. and then turn off my game without saving. damnit all to hell. why the heck havent my dang grad pics or exam marks come in the mail yet?



postman, fedex, mail stealer...whoever you are, if you read this please give me my damn mail. asap mmkay?



bedtime now. school in 6 hours.



Current Time: 1:58pm

Current Mood: Exhausted

Current Song: Kiss Me Deadly - Lita Ford



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o2;15;o6



What exactly are you doing right now? Do you ever wonder what someone else is doing at this exact second? I'm just sitting here typing on the computer. but what is George bush doing? is he typing on the computer to?... life is puzzling. So i havent really gone to school in the past few days. mainly because i so badly want to drop english and career. I only need social now to graduate so i'm pretty much just concentrating on that particular class. I bought Zelda(the wind waker) last weekend and yea i know its a pretty old game considering...its still sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. oh how i am addicted. I also bought harvest moon and the Metric cd. Metric how you make my pants tingle. yes mam. their coming to calgary. April 4th i believe. tickets anyone? i know i dont have mine yet. What else exciting has happened in my life lately? o0o0o0oh it was mothers birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMMMMMMM. oh how i love her. shes an old one now. yea right. old shmold, shes still so young compared to my friends moms. I must say she is a pretty cool mom. So for the next six days i plan on doing NOTHING. it will be sweet. Maybe i shall hang out with nikki and whoever else. fucking nikki. she still hasnt seen my new house yet. oh how i'll kill her. Brianna came to my house once i think or twice. i dont know but my room was a disaster and now that its all pretty and done shes being a cow again.. i want to get this webpage shit complete. why do i put this last on my list all the damn time? al;sdkgjalsgjalskjgalksguoi24309658q0392864093486lkfjbalsdkjgoi48t094y...button mashing...TRY IT!!!



Current Time: 11:47

Current Mood: Energized/lazy...contradiction much?

Current Song: Nothing Better (Postal Service)


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o2;o1;o6



Yea i'm pretty sure I gave up on this webpage stuff for a long time. Maybe not gave up but I was moving and everything was so hectic and now I started school again so right now i'm actually in career exploration looking at all this stuff on the comp. It's soooooo boring. I passed all my classes though which is pretty sweet. So i've been doing nothing lately. Drank a few times and hung out with people and thats about all. So this entire Brianna thing is sooooo weird. I love her ot death but I really can't let go of shit. I know its not a good trait but we let it get to the point where everything is awkward now and although I really want to hang on to her friendship, sometimes I have to think about what it is that i'm hanging onto. Ah well, we'll just have to see what happens. I say that a lot but its true. I'm definatly the type of person who lives day to day and I really don't have a plan for anything. Some people have everything set in stone for the rest of their lives but not me. I just hope to graduate and then my life is an open book from there. EXCITING!!!



Current Time: 3:16

Current Mood: Bored...22 minutes till class ends

Current Song: Addiction (Kanye West...sweetttttt)

January 2006

So as I stated in my previous post, I was going to round up a lot of my old blog entries and throw them in here because they are important to me. Even though I'm blogging today (Thursday, September 18 2008), these blogs are from 2006, a long ass time ago!




o1;24;o6

So I gave up on this webpage stuff a couple days ago. Not really given up i guess, but taken a long vacation. I need to get focused and motivated if I want any good to come out of this. So on friday my uncle had surgery and my cousin was here and shes really little so I ended up watching her all weekend which wasn't bad because she's the cutest little girl ever. We went to the mall and met Alex for lunch and had a gay old time. I bought shit loads of more earrings which really wasn't needed. I'm saying it wasn't needed because if you saw my bathroom you'd see why. sooooo many pairs of earrings. I also bought new nose rings which i really needed. Monday night Dana and Nikki came over and we were supposed to have a nice normal night and do whatever, but we ended up drinking. I was drinking coolers and I really can't drink them so yep, you guessed it. I PUKED! I wasn't drunk enough though that I being stupid about it. I made it to the toilet and afterwards i showered and brushed my teeth. But it was a fun night all around. I LOVE NIKKI & DANA!!! So yea back to a more depressing I told Brianna that we could be friends, because shes a good person and I love her and I do indeed want to be friends but as soon as i said it she found some stupid reason to not be friends. I'm "selfish". This is getting really childish and i'm pretty sure that if things don't move ahead one way or another then were just going to stop talking to eachother completely. Things are at such a standstill and it's driving me CRAZY. New semester in one week. sweeetttt. I think...if i'm correct that it gets broken down as follows

per 1 - Spare
Per 2 - Social
Lunch - Choir
Per 3 - Acting for camera
Per 4 - Career exploration
Afterschool - Advanced acting

It's a slack term however i might fill my spare up with science. I dont know. We'll just have to see what happens.

Current Time: 11:31am
Current Mood: blahhhhh
Current Song: Warmness on the soul (a7x)

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o1;2o;o6

Computer much? Not really. This is the first time i've been on it in a couple of days. Lets see... on wednesday Nikki came over and we did nothing pretty much. She did my hair and made it look soooooooo pretty. On Wednesday night I went shopping for my friend for his birthday with Alex. We bought him Snatch and Wedding Crashers. Sweet right? I know. I FINALLY watched The 4o-year Old Virgin. Funniest movie. Too many funny parts to name. So i had awesome time yesterday. We went bowling and the guys got super drunk while Nikki and I sat looking amusingly at them. By the time we left the bowling alley, David(birthday boy) was so drunk, he didnt know whether he was coming or going. We had planned on drinking more but that did not happen. As soon as we got home David ended up puking and then just laying in one spot and being funny for the rest of the night. That was the jist of my day yesterday. It was pretty sweet. Oh I also talked to Brianna a bit and although we made progress, i don't know if we actually got somewhere. Fighting with her is like oxygen. We never stop breathing it just like i never stop fighting with her until were dead or her and i arnt friends anymore. I believe people are entitled to another chance but sometime i'm so sure that it won't work so why bother. Oh well, i guess we shall see what happens. Until then...

Current Time: 1:25pm
Current Mood: Lazy...needing to get up and packkkkk
Current Song: Ralph Wiggum

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o1;17;o6

Today was the most boring day of my life. i did nothing. wait im lying. i did lots of things but nothing enough to amuse me in the least. i started the day off by looking at a new house and my family seemed to like it so YAY were moving. I also went to Wal-mart today which was fun enough cause i got some stuff. I bought me some deodarant and a calendar and some of this sex hair styling gel stuff. oh and i also bought a shirt and some hand sanitizer. Im a freak. My shirt is so pretty. Actually not really, its just plain and nothing to it. So i didnt watch that movie last night. I really want to watch it tonight. Last night i just got really sleepy and fell asleep. I love how lame my life is. Whatever. Tomorrow i gotta go shopping for a birthday. Yep its David's 19th birthday. Happy Birthday David!!! I dont know what i shall get him. Maybe something anime or something weird. Something that he'll enjoy fully. And then on Thursday were going bowling for his birthday. Bowling, lame as it sounds, is amazing. You get to consume alcoholic beverages in a place where i am legally allowed to be and have a good time. I suck at bowling though. Like suck more than you could imagine. Anywho i'm still trying to figure this stuff out. Not that im an idiot cause i know how this works, i'm just really lazy to put work into this thing. so i'm going to go stare at this screen for a bit more and then try and throw something together.

Current Time: 11:56pm
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: Call Me

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o1;16;o6

Can i start off by saying that today was the biggest shit show of my life. okay so i might be exaggerating a bit but it was close to. First off the diplomas were really easy. so easy infact that i took it for granted and misread something meaning that im going to get docked for my final mark. that suckkkkkkks. After that i had drama and i had to do auditions. That in its entirety caused a huge scene. The morebetterness aka best friend aka brianna happened to be on total bitch mode today and she went psycho leaving me with nothing but a mark thats pretty much failing in drama 3o. After that everything went down hill. i told my teacher to go to hell amongst other harsh things. and sure it may have been uncalled for but she deserved it at that point in time. gaddddd im so happy her class is over. anyways after that the day was just okay. nothing special about anything. read some lines and hung out with alex. Tonight i plan on watching the 4o-year old virgin. I know i know, i should have taken the time to watch that movie two months ago but every time i sit down to watch it, i end up snoozing. its a funny movie, but i dont know. maybe ive just been too tired every time i go to watch it. I'm making a vow to get through it tonight. i'll tell you how it goes. So now for the sappy stuff. I met Brianna a little while back and we quickly became attached at the hips. and i dont just mean attached like BFF, i mean we spend every waking minute together. last semester we had six classes together. aside from that, we have every single thing in common. pretty much. we have differences like everyone else and thats what get us into these fights. i love her to death. brianna i love you to death, so i hope this thing passes. anyways so now im just figuring out some more of this confusing webpage. byyeeeeee.

Current Time: 10:42pm
Current Mood: confused
Current Song: Beauty and the Beast (audition piece)

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o1;15;o6

Well i must start off by saying this is all so new to me. i hope im figuring it out right. I chose the simple black and white themed page for my blog because it contrasts so nicely which i happen to love and because im a very black and white person. sometimes i'll write to vent and yell and other times i'll write just because i feel like it. well lets see... today is January the fifteenth and tomorrow are my English 30 exams. Only part A though which is a relief but still, im nervous. Im not so much nervous about it being an exam, but just what the exam represents. It just goes to show that there one aspect of my grade 12 actually of all school for that matter of with. i'll never be in english again unless i want to take it in post secondary. *sigh* anyways, after the exam i've got some drama crap to take care of. im not sure if i should sing Les Miserables or Phantom for my audition piece. Or if i should just choose a new route altogether. hmm life is confusing. well this shall be all for the first blog entry of many. i'll tell you how the exam goes. BYEEEEEEEE

Current Time: 10:13pm
Current Mood: Antsy
Current Song: Help!(the beatles)

Hello ladies, hello gentlemen!

I am soooooo very new here...and by very, I mean VERY VERY!

There are a few reasons I have decided to start blogging here. The first one being is that it seems quite popular and quite simple to use. I'm sure I'll eventually get the hang of it but starting out, it's nice just to be able to type and click and TA-DA, have it appear on the page. The second reason is that I seem to have scattered my thoughts all over the internet and I would like to group them together so that I can go back and read them. So for now, I shall go and collect my other previous blogs on other websites and transfer them to here. YAY!

-Jessica.xo