1.Where is the person you like right now? I like someone??? Wut? Maybe he is in Tacoma, WA... then I can creep him tomorrow. KIDDING.
2.Last time you consumed alcohol? Saturday night/Sunday morning.
3.What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Sleeping, twas fun!
4.What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Dying of boredom... feck, damn, shit.
5.What are you doing this weekend? Monumental fun times with Megan.... and Ape when she isn't shooting SSIF...EEEEEEEEEEEE *angry squee of excitement*
6.How do you feel about the person who texted you last? I haven't texted in months, so I couldn't tell you. I probably love them though, unless her name starts with a K... then *death stare*
7.Have you ever been around someone who was high? Ummm, yus!
8.Do you like your life as of now? Sure, why not... I'm jobless, bored, lazy... wait, do I sound bitter right now? Kidding, it's whatevs.
9.Last thing you purchased? Ummm, alcohol and smokes...
10.Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are? WORK. FUCK WORK... WORK FUCK WORK... WORK IS GHEY, OH SO GHEY, FUCK BEING GHEY, FUCK WORK. WORK FUCK WORK. Does that explain it?
11.Three words to explain why you last threw up? Alcohol. Drunk. Drive.
12.How's your heart lately? Is this a literal or metaphorical question? Good on about accounts I suppose. *ponders*
13.Where did your last hug take place? My bed!
14.Who was the last person to hold your hand? Alexander
15.Who are all the texts from in your phone? I omit this question. ASSHOLES
16.Did you have a good birthday this year? MOST. EPIC. BIRTHDAY. EVERRRRRRRR. I plan on doing the same thing every year for the rest of my life...or until it's socially unacceptable to look like a hot mess.
17.What did you do? LAS VEGASSSSSSS, YO! Dane Cook + Alcohol + omfgluffluffluff
18.Are you tired right now? Only because I'm bored as hell.
19.How would you feel if your best friend turned out to be gay? I would die of laughter... We already get called lesbians, that would just fuel the fire.
20.Do you chew on your straws? Yes, usually.
21.Have you ever been called a tease? Yes, a couple times, very angry too!
22.Last myspace message from? Eff MySpace, probably some band saying "yo, check us outtttt mang."
23.Do you have curly hair? Straight for the most part. It's got that annoying "wave" thing going on. Death.
24.Who's house were you at last? Mine, before that, Ryan's.
25.What time did you wake up this morning? 9ish...
26.Why did you wake up at that time? Work, why else?
27.What color is your hair? Is nappy a colour?
28.Is there anyone who doesnt like you because of something you didn't do? Of course... assholes.
29.As of today, do you like anyone? No, not really. I think peepz are hot... and friendly and.... yuhh, but I'm not like "omfg, lets go date!"
30.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? NEVER! I think 30ish hours is probably the longest.
31.How many posters do u have? Like... a million, no joke.
32.Last thing you ate? Bread, I'm hungry.
33.Last person you cried over? Alex probably.
34.Do you cry easily? Eff, yes =(
35.Do you have any siblings? One brudder.
36.What should you be doing right now? My job... eh, fuck it.
37.Are you a heavy sleeper? When I'm tired, definitely.
38.What's the last cutest message in your inbox? Pfft, um, I don't know. Maybe April from facebook "I bought you a goodie!" Ummm...YUS!
39.What was the last thing you said? "STAMPEDE, FUCK YA!"
40.When was the last time you drove? I dunno, like a year ago haha.
41.Beer or Liquor? Liquor please. Beer works.
42.Do you have any piercings or tattoos? 10 piercings, 1 tattoo!
43.What are you listening to? I want to be listening to Oasis, unfortunately, all I hear is ladders clanging and static.
44.Do you think its bad to have sex at your age? Definitely, NOT.
45.Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment? No boyfriend for me, I smell funny (kidding).
46.Were you happy when you woke up today? Yes, I was like... "LAST DAY OF WORK... WOOT, so done with assholish bosses!"
47.Who was the last person you ate with? Alex and my mother.
48.What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Vodka and orange juice. Monorail.
49.Do you like tattoos and piercings? Yup! I want moreeeeee.
50.Are you in a good mood? No, not really. My boss just called me, keep in mind that today is my last day...and yelled at me, for no reason other than something that I was apparently doing wrong when he specifically asked me to do what it was that I was apparently doing wrong.
51.Do you want to have kids? Yes, three please.
52.Do you smoke weed regularly? Drugs are bad, folks.
53.Miss anyone? My Uncle James... people that I've lost touch with. =(
54.Have you ever watched a movie drunk? Yes, it puts me to sleep.
55.Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? Yes.
56.Do you believe in true love? Definitely.
57.Do you like to wear sweatpants? Sweatpants own! So comf.
58.Are you wearing them right now? No, I wear'd jeans.
59.Have you ever stolen a sign from a street? YES! So many signs.
60.Are you playing hard to get right now? Hahahaha, ummmm no.
61.Do you miss your past? Everyday of my life.
62.Are you proud of the person you've become? I'm content with who I've become.
63.Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? Are these sharks trained not to eat me? FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD... Jessica is fwend, not food!
64.Has someone smacked your butt in the past week? Yes, ewww, he was so gross... fuck. ANGER!
65.Did you speak to your father today? Yep, he drove me to werk!
66.How good is Coca-Cola? Gross! I hate coke... BARF.
67.When was the last time you cleaned your room? this afternoon
68.Whats the last bone you broke? No broken bones... yuck.
69.Do you drink bottled water? Yes, bottled water FTW, I hate tap water.
70.Have you lost friends in the past years? Unfortunately, yes.
71.What are you doing tonight? Work. Pack. Sleep... in that order.
72.Whens the last time you cried? Last week was pretty rough.
73.When was the last time you hugged someone? This morning.
74.Who was the last person that made you laugh? Nikki.
75.Do you dance in the car? Ask Megan, I am the ULTIMATE car dancer. BREAK IT DOWN.
76.How did you get your last bruise? I dunno, probably doing something DUMB AS FUCK.
77.Whats your favorite season? Spring <3
78.What is your favorite color? Purple!!
79.Do you think you have made a difference in anyones life? Yes, I hope so or else what am I living for?
80.How is your hair? Straight, nappy, ehhhh.
81.Latest you stayed up in the past week? 8am... kill me.
82.Has your mom bought anything in the past 24 hour? Luncheon meat, wonderful mother that she is!
83.Whats the connection between you and the last person you texted? Cell phone questions, fuck my life!
84.Have you ever slept over the opposite sex's house? Yes... haha
85.Last time you ate? 3453 hours ago, I'm starving! No, more like 5 hours ago, I'm still hungry though.
86.Do you hate the last girl you were talking to? Nope!
87.Do you hate the last boy you were talking to on the phone? Definitely not!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Hakuna Matata!
I had a weird dream... again
This time I had met a boy that I really, really liked and he liked me just the same, but before we could start dating, I told him he had to be approved by my best friend. When I woke up it left me baffled, but you know what, it's probably true. Nikki is the reason that Alex and I started dating and over the years, they ended up getting hostile with eachother for so many reasons and now it's to the point where they hardly will be around eachother. I hang out with Nikki every day of my life, so my next boyfriend has to get along with her. For real though, I don't think either one of us are ever dating again...or so it seems. Nikki has been out of a relationship for a year and half and I have had plenty of times to start new relationships, but it's whatever. I think we both know that by starting something new, we'd be giving lots up. We've been best friends for so long, we've forgotten what it's like to function without eachother. We're not the kind of best friends who just have that title either. We've gotten so close that we absent mindedly pick at eachother, we don't go out on the town if the other person isn't going and heck, we've even slept buck naked next to eachother on random nights that we've come home too drunk to find clothes. It's a good friendship! We are at the point where it's just assumed that it's "Nikki and Jessica." Over the years if there has been a time or two that we've went out without the other, our friends are like "omfg, where is Nikki, is she sick, are you guys fighting, what's up?" It's kind of hilarious but I realize that we've also sectioned ourselves off way more than is probably healthy for us. I couldn't imagine if we got into a life altering fight that made us hate eachother. We both would literally have no one. We have mutual friends, but at the end of the day, they're just friends... you can't call them good, good friends that you can confide in and shite!
Anyways, weird dream.
TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking happy. I want to be a rebel and tell my company to shove their shitty management up their asses and go take a course on what it means to be personable, but I want the good reference too much.
People are funny. I wish I could elaborate on a public blog, but alas, there may be eyes reading this that will report back.
The UK is still the first thing on my mind. I haven't been researching too much lately because I've been bombarded by other stupid, random shit.
COUGHCOUGHCOUGH/RANTRANTRANT
FUCK, I just want to be with MEGAN and APRIL and Sam is a COW for not coming to Forks with me...and when I see her in July I'm going to dry hump for like 28 minutes so that she understands that I hate her life for not seeing me in June!
I'm so raunchy...it's wonderful.
WTF, I still have 2304890249580238423048 hours left of this stupid job.
/endlife
I enjoy writing randomly, to myself, I just wish my FWENDS, who said they were going to blog so that I knew all about their life, would continue to blog. It's like one new post once a week, that's a paragraph long. And then I say "why don't you write." And they reply with "umm, cause I don't got nothing to write about!?!?!" HOLLA, please, explain to me what the fuck all of this is about...NOTHING! I just sit in front of the computer and wait to see what forms. Yesterday I was going to write about how I burnt myself with a smoke a couple days back and when I looked down yesterday, it was randomly bleeding.
I could also talk about how I spent two days in bed and that makes me a failure...oh no, I forgot, I made dinner last night. Fajitas - fucking delicious. I don't understand my obsession with peppers, but I enjoy it.
What else can I talk about... Cake
I want cake
I want ice cream
I want ice cream cake!
I took my dog for a car ride yesterday. She almost jumped out of the fucking window. Idiot.
I can't believe I'm freaking going to WASHINGTON tomorrow... less than 24 hours and I will have landed! Why do I have to be stuck at work all day, so sad!
Okay, end post here.
This time I had met a boy that I really, really liked and he liked me just the same, but before we could start dating, I told him he had to be approved by my best friend. When I woke up it left me baffled, but you know what, it's probably true. Nikki is the reason that Alex and I started dating and over the years, they ended up getting hostile with eachother for so many reasons and now it's to the point where they hardly will be around eachother. I hang out with Nikki every day of my life, so my next boyfriend has to get along with her. For real though, I don't think either one of us are ever dating again...or so it seems. Nikki has been out of a relationship for a year and half and I have had plenty of times to start new relationships, but it's whatever. I think we both know that by starting something new, we'd be giving lots up. We've been best friends for so long, we've forgotten what it's like to function without eachother. We're not the kind of best friends who just have that title either. We've gotten so close that we absent mindedly pick at eachother, we don't go out on the town if the other person isn't going and heck, we've even slept buck naked next to eachother on random nights that we've come home too drunk to find clothes. It's a good friendship! We are at the point where it's just assumed that it's "Nikki and Jessica." Over the years if there has been a time or two that we've went out without the other, our friends are like "omfg, where is Nikki, is she sick, are you guys fighting, what's up?" It's kind of hilarious but I realize that we've also sectioned ourselves off way more than is probably healthy for us. I couldn't imagine if we got into a life altering fight that made us hate eachother. We both would literally have no one. We have mutual friends, but at the end of the day, they're just friends... you can't call them good, good friends that you can confide in and shite!
Anyways, weird dream.
TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!TODAYISMYLASTDAYOFWORKOMFG!!!
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking happy. I want to be a rebel and tell my company to shove their shitty management up their asses and go take a course on what it means to be personable, but I want the good reference too much.
People are funny. I wish I could elaborate on a public blog, but alas, there may be eyes reading this that will report back.
The UK is still the first thing on my mind. I haven't been researching too much lately because I've been bombarded by other stupid, random shit.
COUGHCOUGHCOUGH/RANTRANTRANT
FUCK, I just want to be with MEGAN and APRIL and Sam is a COW for not coming to Forks with me...and when I see her in July I'm going to dry hump for like 28 minutes so that she understands that I hate her life for not seeing me in June!
I'm so raunchy...it's wonderful.
WTF, I still have 2304890249580238423048 hours left of this stupid job.
/endlife
I enjoy writing randomly, to myself, I just wish my FWENDS, who said they were going to blog so that I knew all about their life, would continue to blog. It's like one new post once a week, that's a paragraph long. And then I say "why don't you write." And they reply with "umm, cause I don't got nothing to write about!?!?!" HOLLA, please, explain to me what the fuck all of this is about...NOTHING! I just sit in front of the computer and wait to see what forms. Yesterday I was going to write about how I burnt myself with a smoke a couple days back and when I looked down yesterday, it was randomly bleeding.
I could also talk about how I spent two days in bed and that makes me a failure...oh no, I forgot, I made dinner last night. Fajitas - fucking delicious. I don't understand my obsession with peppers, but I enjoy it.
What else can I talk about... Cake
I want cake
I want ice cream
I want ice cream cake!
I took my dog for a car ride yesterday. She almost jumped out of the fucking window. Idiot.
I can't believe I'm freaking going to WASHINGTON tomorrow... less than 24 hours and I will have landed! Why do I have to be stuck at work all day, so sad!
Okay, end post here.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Nekkid!
Ummm... WASHINGTON STATE!
three sleeps, that's right. Count 'em.
ONE
TWO
THREE
I need to pack, but I'm so lazy. So much laundry and shit, it drives me mental. I actually have no idea what to take along with me. Clothes, underwear, it's a start.
I hate the fact that myself as well as my "friends" all seem so sidetracked. I gave up on the fact that Cori, Em, Kaelie, B, etc don't come around anymore...but now it seems that me, Megan, Sam and April are all missing eachother randomly. This is why I'm nervous to build friendships. Unless you don't see the people on a regular basis, it's hard to try and be on the computer all the time. Even if I had a phone, I wouldn't want to text all the time, costs too much. I don't want to plan things like Vegas and or Europe or even Em coming to Canada if I'm not maintaining friendships, ya know??? TwiCon will come and go very soon and after that, people are really going to split off.
I'm dead tired...just dead works too. I can't believe how much of an effect, going to sleep at 8am has had on me. When I was in Vegas, I was up until around that time and I got a couple of hours of sleep and I was completely fine... This morning, I was still drinking Vodka and Orange Juice at 7:30am. Kill me. I went to Aussie Rules, Bootleggers and the Black Swan all in one night... fun times. Brit, if you're reading this, I hate you for leaving early...aka 3:30am.
So yes, dead is me. I came home, went to sleep from 8:30-11...woke up, stayed in bed afer eating breakfast till around 2... then slept till 5, woke up, stayed in bed and went back to sleep at like..7 until 9 something. It's now 11:45pm, and I've spent all day in my bed. I was out of bed for maybe 90 minutes total today.
I'm yawning again, that's my cue.
NIGHT BITCHES.
three sleeps, that's right. Count 'em.
ONE
TWO
THREE
I need to pack, but I'm so lazy. So much laundry and shit, it drives me mental. I actually have no idea what to take along with me. Clothes, underwear, it's a start.
I hate the fact that myself as well as my "friends" all seem so sidetracked. I gave up on the fact that Cori, Em, Kaelie, B, etc don't come around anymore...but now it seems that me, Megan, Sam and April are all missing eachother randomly. This is why I'm nervous to build friendships. Unless you don't see the people on a regular basis, it's hard to try and be on the computer all the time. Even if I had a phone, I wouldn't want to text all the time, costs too much. I don't want to plan things like Vegas and or Europe or even Em coming to Canada if I'm not maintaining friendships, ya know??? TwiCon will come and go very soon and after that, people are really going to split off.
I'm dead tired...just dead works too. I can't believe how much of an effect, going to sleep at 8am has had on me. When I was in Vegas, I was up until around that time and I got a couple of hours of sleep and I was completely fine... This morning, I was still drinking Vodka and Orange Juice at 7:30am. Kill me. I went to Aussie Rules, Bootleggers and the Black Swan all in one night... fun times. Brit, if you're reading this, I hate you for leaving early...aka 3:30am.
So yes, dead is me. I came home, went to sleep from 8:30-11...woke up, stayed in bed afer eating breakfast till around 2... then slept till 5, woke up, stayed in bed and went back to sleep at like..7 until 9 something. It's now 11:45pm, and I've spent all day in my bed. I was out of bed for maybe 90 minutes total today.
I'm yawning again, that's my cue.
NIGHT BITCHES.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
You'll never change whats been and gone
ATTN:
ATTN:
ATTN:
ATTN: The following blog is somewhat of a rant, but what else is new?
Okay, so I'll start out by saying that the following paragraphs are indeed about Twilight and just fandoms in general.
I have been part of the Twilight fandom for about a year now. It's all been a very new experience. In the past, I've never latched on to big "crazes" or become part of any "fandoms." When I was younger, I was very, very much into BSB, N'Sync, Britney, The Spice Girls, you name it... but that was when I was much younger and it was more of a "dance in my room, choreographing dances and using a hair brush as my microphone." The internet wasn't a huge outlet to establish a fan base and unless they were coming to perform, I didn't interact with other fans ever.
As I got older and new people, places, things started trending, I started backing off even more. By the time I was in junior high, I was kind of a rebel, so hanging out with boys, drinking, drugs consumed a lot of my life. I didn't really have time to become obsessed with anything.
When I got to high school, I had already put myself in a long term relationship and I was busy really diving into the "local scene." I went to a lot of concerts that housed local bands and really kept to group of friends. Even as far as clothing styles go, I never got attached to anything. I have always and will always wear what I like and what is comfortable. I have lucked out this season beacuse the style of dresses that I love and plaid have both been in style, so I've been shopping like crazy. But don't expect me to wear skinny jeans because they're cool, or adopt the boho look because it's in, that's just not me...
And that's exactly how I felt with fandoms... and I'm talking about ALLLLLL fandoms. You have ones in movies like Harry Potter, Twilight, Scarface, Fight Club, Kevin Smith movies, etc. You have sports, you have books, clothes, music, people... anything.
Throughout my different phases, I dabbled in things that I enjoyed... and that had quite a number of followers, but I found that I ALWAYS got annoyed. I'm not going to say that I particularly wanted to go "against the grain" and "hate" something because it was popular, but I just genuinely, got annoyed. It was just the things that became associated with whatever or whoever was popular at the time... for example, the Paris Hilton craze...nothing against the girl, but the saying "that's hot," I wanted to shove that saying into a herpes infested garbage can.
So now that I AM a part of a fandom, I've really seen the inner workings of what goes on with everything from merchandise to fans to any and everything... I've come to the conclusion, that even though I'm so obsessed with Twilight, I still hate fandoms.
Before I rant forever, I want to talk about fans first of all. Most of them, a lot of them, have really good intentions, but then there are the handful who are FUCKINGA ANNOYING. Specifically talking about the Twilight fandom they come like this:
the long term fans: fans that read the books years ago and therefore think that because they stumbled upon it first, this makes them some sort of unsung "true fan." You can usually hear these types say... "I was first and foremost a Twilight fan, before Robert Pattinson was even cast, I'm a true fan, not like the phonies."
Please explain to me WHAT THAT MEANS?!?! I wasn't aware that because you read the book either a few months or a few years before someone else that you're more dedicated and loyal... Everything and everyone has to establish a fanbase and a following somewhere... it's just a way of life and it doesn't make you more dedicated!
the bandwagon jumpers: fans that have not read the book but yet can justify their love for Twilight... or at least think they can. Sorry, but Edward Cullen aka Robert Pattinson is NOT justification for Twilight in general.
When I say bandwagon jumpers, I'm not talking about people that who have read the book a week ago and have fell in love with it. Seriously, I encourage anyone who hasn't read the book to find out how awesome it is, but I'm talking about the people who have nothing better to do other than get involved in a fandom. The ones who see an actor/actress in a magazine, think they're good looking and then all of a sudden "omg, i luff twilight." Why? "Ummm because it's fucking sweet!" WRONG ANSWER
The Twi...older people?: These are the people who act superior to the younger Twilight fans. Mostly young teenagers... you can usually hear them saying things like "if any of those 13year old fangirls scream in the movie, I will kill them."
I must have heard that a million times and what's funny to me, is I've seen the movie 9 times in theatres and I interact with older fans all the time and I can honestly say, that stereotyping the younger crowd as the loud, rowdy ones is bullshit. There is NO age range that should carry the brunt of being labelled the "fan girls." Another thing with the older audience is that they tend to be smug when talking about Twilight. Like their age and "wisdom" gives them some sort of unspoken understanding for the book/movie that younger people wouldn't get. Drives me mental. Again, when I say older people, it's the only way I can explain it. I'm generalizing a ton so if you're older, please don't automatically group yourself in with what I'm talking about. You'll know if you do this or not.
The "dedicated" fans: I guess I could group myself into this category since I have a website and shit, but whatever. These are the fans that maybe... own a site or belong to a community, write fan fiction, collect merchandise out of the ass, attend conventions, be the first in line to watch the movie, etc, etc.
Some of these people automatically think because they devote more time, energy, effort, money, whatever...then OTHER people, that somehow, they love the book/movie more. I don't think it works like that. There are bands that I haven't listened to in ages, books I've never bothered to look up online and devote time and energy to... does this make me less of a fan? The fact that you became involved in something period is enough... people can appreciate and devote themselves to something that they're fond of from a distance. They don't have to start up a website or join a forum to appreciate it as much as the person who does those things.
The "die hard" fans: These are the ones that anger meeeeee a lot. They value twilight above all else. There is no room for interpretation or argument. Twilight is "the best" and that's all that matters. Okay, yes, I completely agree with the fact that it makes no sense to hate on a people or thing just because. However, I have talked to people that aren't a fan of the movie and or the book for a number of reasons and they give very good arguments. You have to accept that not everyone is going to love what you love and vice versa. Twilight isn't for everyone and if you try and force it on people, it'll only make them retaliate more. Yes, there are some people who are rude, give horrible arguments, but that's not everyone. We get angry because dumb Twilight haters come to the sites we love and spam us and put the book/movie down but did you know that there are twilight fans who go to sites that reflect twilight negatively and invade their forums and talk about how awesome Twiligt is. Now that is a double standard. Those are the people giving us a bad name, just like the idiots that we talk to are the ones that give the people who don't like twilight, a bad name. Make sense.
I could go on and on and rant and rant but I'll end it there... I myself, am both victim and suspect to one or more of these groups. I try and stay neutral, but I've let myself slip, I admit. I don't mean to put specific people down and if this post offends you, it obviously means you belong in one of these groups, which is fine, it's whatever, I'm just telling you that this is what I hate about the fandom.
I also hate how much I am judged. I have a poster on the wall, I'm attending a convention, yada yada and all of a sudden I am nerdy?!?! Last time I checked, I'm the same person. I'm proud to talk about two of my best friends whom I met online. I'm also proud to say that I go out dancing and drinking. I hate the fact that I'm judged because of something that I like.
I started writing this blog today off of something really not related... and then it just strayed from there. Might as well touch on that topic for a second.
The reason that I was originally annoyed is because... I really believe that I am what I am and we are what we are. Don't try to atler, change, of hide behind things that aren't true.
There are a lot of definitions of the word "fan." I call myself a fan... because when it comes down to it, that's what I am...Anything or anyone that I appreciate, essentially, I am a fan or them or it. I am a Twilight, Cam Gigandet fan... obviously. Could you call me obsessive over my Cam obsession... quite possibly. I have a cutout, pictures, my screen saver, whatever else. The truth is, I adore him. I think he is a gorgeous individual and as long as he making movies and not publicly announcing that he is a nazi or a baby hater or anything weird, than I'll probably be a fan of his.
Recently, when it comes to the cast of the Twilight movie, people talk about "fangirls," fans in general and whatever else. And now I've started hearing... "I'm a follower, NOT a fan. I appreciate him, I just want to give him a hug and tell them that he/she is an amazing actor, musician, artist, etc.... but I'm NOT a fan."
UMMM... FAIL, EPIC FAIL, YOU FAIL SO FUCKING BAD I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT! What would you call yourself? Someone that you've NEVER met whom you enjoy their movies and or music... you "appreciate" and "respect" them... I think all of those are SYNONYMS for fan!
It seriously drives me mental when people try to set themselves aside using different words that may throw others astray. It doesn't work, I can see right through you and I think it's kind of pathetic.
I could talk about this more but than I'd just start naming names and being a total cunt and that is not something I really want to do publicly. I'll save that for the likes of Skype.
OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...
/end rant
Maybe I'll talk about happy things. I officially have 17 more hours of work left... and then I'll never come back to this place AGAIN! Whew, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm happy. I'm going to make everything work out becauseeeee, that's what I do!
My butt still kind of hurts from hiking. My legs didn't hurt at all, just my ass... go figure.
I only have 3 FULL days left till I see Megan and Ape's face! I have some of today (saturday) left... then all of sunday, monday, tuesday and then ...BAM, it's Wednesday and I'm landing in rainy Seattle! So. Fucking. Excited. My goal is to take 200 pictures per day... so I'll come home with 1400 fotos and hopefully, they won't all be of Megan's forehead this time.
I think yer cute.
Also, I've resorted to the improper spelling of words... I'm doing it to annoy people... and because I've decided that I like to convey exactly who I am in person, online...therefore... I type like I talk... all the time.
Your = yer
Fuck = Feck
What = wut
Done = dun
You get the point. It's funny too, because I've been told that over enunciate my words, when usually, most of the time, I'm lazy and speak like the above.
"Wut the feck, I can't even esplain how much I LUFFFFFFFF Ryan Reynolds."
Get it? I think this phase will pass, but it's fun annoying people. The horrible thing is, I'm completely playing off of Megan so I'm not sure when it will stop. I'll start saying random shit and get her going and vice versa... same with Sam... I never said stupid shit like... "latah" and "lovah" and other things with an ah until Sam started...and now I can't stop.
I hate my friends.
Apparently Court reads my blogs, if that's true, Court you must reply to this saying... "Jessica is fucking sweet. The new grey and black dress that she is wearing today looks WUNDERFUL!"
This blog has turned into a novel...might as well keep going.
Dear Priceline...we're fighting.
Dear Sam...I luff joo
Dear Megan...I will cut you open and sleep inside of you
Dear PE... I hope they find some part of you that was made with lead and do a massive recall. That would make my life!
Dear ER... Are you guys starring in that new flick yet where y'all play twinsies?!?!
Dear werk... you smell
OMFG, I just found a 5 cent candy in my purse from last night... brb while I eat the fuck out of it!
So... good.
HE SAYS, SON, CAN YOU PLAY ME A MEMORY?
I'M NOT REALLY SURE HOW IT GOES.
BUT IT'S SAD AND IT'S SWEET AND I KNEW IT COMPLETE,
WHEN I WORE A YOUNGER MANS CLOTHES...
SING US A SONG, YOU'RE THE PIANO MAN.
I want to be off of work so that I can do something INTERESTING!
/end long ass blog.
ATTN:
ATTN:
ATTN: The following blog is somewhat of a rant, but what else is new?
Okay, so I'll start out by saying that the following paragraphs are indeed about Twilight and just fandoms in general.
I have been part of the Twilight fandom for about a year now. It's all been a very new experience. In the past, I've never latched on to big "crazes" or become part of any "fandoms." When I was younger, I was very, very much into BSB, N'Sync, Britney, The Spice Girls, you name it... but that was when I was much younger and it was more of a "dance in my room, choreographing dances and using a hair brush as my microphone." The internet wasn't a huge outlet to establish a fan base and unless they were coming to perform, I didn't interact with other fans ever.
As I got older and new people, places, things started trending, I started backing off even more. By the time I was in junior high, I was kind of a rebel, so hanging out with boys, drinking, drugs consumed a lot of my life. I didn't really have time to become obsessed with anything.
When I got to high school, I had already put myself in a long term relationship and I was busy really diving into the "local scene." I went to a lot of concerts that housed local bands and really kept to group of friends. Even as far as clothing styles go, I never got attached to anything. I have always and will always wear what I like and what is comfortable. I have lucked out this season beacuse the style of dresses that I love and plaid have both been in style, so I've been shopping like crazy. But don't expect me to wear skinny jeans because they're cool, or adopt the boho look because it's in, that's just not me...
And that's exactly how I felt with fandoms... and I'm talking about ALLLLLL fandoms. You have ones in movies like Harry Potter, Twilight, Scarface, Fight Club, Kevin Smith movies, etc. You have sports, you have books, clothes, music, people... anything.
Throughout my different phases, I dabbled in things that I enjoyed... and that had quite a number of followers, but I found that I ALWAYS got annoyed. I'm not going to say that I particularly wanted to go "against the grain" and "hate" something because it was popular, but I just genuinely, got annoyed. It was just the things that became associated with whatever or whoever was popular at the time... for example, the Paris Hilton craze...nothing against the girl, but the saying "that's hot," I wanted to shove that saying into a herpes infested garbage can.
So now that I AM a part of a fandom, I've really seen the inner workings of what goes on with everything from merchandise to fans to any and everything... I've come to the conclusion, that even though I'm so obsessed with Twilight, I still hate fandoms.
Before I rant forever, I want to talk about fans first of all. Most of them, a lot of them, have really good intentions, but then there are the handful who are FUCKINGA ANNOYING. Specifically talking about the Twilight fandom they come like this:
the long term fans: fans that read the books years ago and therefore think that because they stumbled upon it first, this makes them some sort of unsung "true fan." You can usually hear these types say... "I was first and foremost a Twilight fan, before Robert Pattinson was even cast, I'm a true fan, not like the phonies."
Please explain to me WHAT THAT MEANS?!?! I wasn't aware that because you read the book either a few months or a few years before someone else that you're more dedicated and loyal... Everything and everyone has to establish a fanbase and a following somewhere... it's just a way of life and it doesn't make you more dedicated!
the bandwagon jumpers: fans that have not read the book but yet can justify their love for Twilight... or at least think they can. Sorry, but Edward Cullen aka Robert Pattinson is NOT justification for Twilight in general.
When I say bandwagon jumpers, I'm not talking about people that who have read the book a week ago and have fell in love with it. Seriously, I encourage anyone who hasn't read the book to find out how awesome it is, but I'm talking about the people who have nothing better to do other than get involved in a fandom. The ones who see an actor/actress in a magazine, think they're good looking and then all of a sudden "omg, i luff twilight." Why? "Ummm because it's fucking sweet!" WRONG ANSWER
The Twi...older people?: These are the people who act superior to the younger Twilight fans. Mostly young teenagers... you can usually hear them saying things like "if any of those 13year old fangirls scream in the movie, I will kill them."
I must have heard that a million times and what's funny to me, is I've seen the movie 9 times in theatres and I interact with older fans all the time and I can honestly say, that stereotyping the younger crowd as the loud, rowdy ones is bullshit. There is NO age range that should carry the brunt of being labelled the "fan girls." Another thing with the older audience is that they tend to be smug when talking about Twilight. Like their age and "wisdom" gives them some sort of unspoken understanding for the book/movie that younger people wouldn't get. Drives me mental. Again, when I say older people, it's the only way I can explain it. I'm generalizing a ton so if you're older, please don't automatically group yourself in with what I'm talking about. You'll know if you do this or not.
The "dedicated" fans: I guess I could group myself into this category since I have a website and shit, but whatever. These are the fans that maybe... own a site or belong to a community, write fan fiction, collect merchandise out of the ass, attend conventions, be the first in line to watch the movie, etc, etc.
Some of these people automatically think because they devote more time, energy, effort, money, whatever...then OTHER people, that somehow, they love the book/movie more. I don't think it works like that. There are bands that I haven't listened to in ages, books I've never bothered to look up online and devote time and energy to... does this make me less of a fan? The fact that you became involved in something period is enough... people can appreciate and devote themselves to something that they're fond of from a distance. They don't have to start up a website or join a forum to appreciate it as much as the person who does those things.
The "die hard" fans: These are the ones that anger meeeeee a lot. They value twilight above all else. There is no room for interpretation or argument. Twilight is "the best" and that's all that matters. Okay, yes, I completely agree with the fact that it makes no sense to hate on a people or thing just because. However, I have talked to people that aren't a fan of the movie and or the book for a number of reasons and they give very good arguments. You have to accept that not everyone is going to love what you love and vice versa. Twilight isn't for everyone and if you try and force it on people, it'll only make them retaliate more. Yes, there are some people who are rude, give horrible arguments, but that's not everyone. We get angry because dumb Twilight haters come to the sites we love and spam us and put the book/movie down but did you know that there are twilight fans who go to sites that reflect twilight negatively and invade their forums and talk about how awesome Twiligt is. Now that is a double standard. Those are the people giving us a bad name, just like the idiots that we talk to are the ones that give the people who don't like twilight, a bad name. Make sense.
I could go on and on and rant and rant but I'll end it there... I myself, am both victim and suspect to one or more of these groups. I try and stay neutral, but I've let myself slip, I admit. I don't mean to put specific people down and if this post offends you, it obviously means you belong in one of these groups, which is fine, it's whatever, I'm just telling you that this is what I hate about the fandom.
I also hate how much I am judged. I have a poster on the wall, I'm attending a convention, yada yada and all of a sudden I am nerdy?!?! Last time I checked, I'm the same person. I'm proud to talk about two of my best friends whom I met online. I'm also proud to say that I go out dancing and drinking. I hate the fact that I'm judged because of something that I like.
I started writing this blog today off of something really not related... and then it just strayed from there. Might as well touch on that topic for a second.
The reason that I was originally annoyed is because... I really believe that I am what I am and we are what we are. Don't try to atler, change, of hide behind things that aren't true.
There are a lot of definitions of the word "fan." I call myself a fan... because when it comes down to it, that's what I am...Anything or anyone that I appreciate, essentially, I am a fan or them or it. I am a Twilight, Cam Gigandet fan... obviously. Could you call me obsessive over my Cam obsession... quite possibly. I have a cutout, pictures, my screen saver, whatever else. The truth is, I adore him. I think he is a gorgeous individual and as long as he making movies and not publicly announcing that he is a nazi or a baby hater or anything weird, than I'll probably be a fan of his.
Recently, when it comes to the cast of the Twilight movie, people talk about "fangirls," fans in general and whatever else. And now I've started hearing... "I'm a follower, NOT a fan. I appreciate him, I just want to give him a hug and tell them that he/she is an amazing actor, musician, artist, etc.... but I'm NOT a fan."
UMMM... FAIL, EPIC FAIL, YOU FAIL SO FUCKING BAD I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT! What would you call yourself? Someone that you've NEVER met whom you enjoy their movies and or music... you "appreciate" and "respect" them... I think all of those are SYNONYMS for fan!
It seriously drives me mental when people try to set themselves aside using different words that may throw others astray. It doesn't work, I can see right through you and I think it's kind of pathetic.
I could talk about this more but than I'd just start naming names and being a total cunt and that is not something I really want to do publicly. I'll save that for the likes of Skype.
OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...
/end rant
Maybe I'll talk about happy things. I officially have 17 more hours of work left... and then I'll never come back to this place AGAIN! Whew, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm happy. I'm going to make everything work out becauseeeee, that's what I do!
My butt still kind of hurts from hiking. My legs didn't hurt at all, just my ass... go figure.
I only have 3 FULL days left till I see Megan and Ape's face! I have some of today (saturday) left... then all of sunday, monday, tuesday and then ...BAM, it's Wednesday and I'm landing in rainy Seattle! So. Fucking. Excited. My goal is to take 200 pictures per day... so I'll come home with 1400 fotos and hopefully, they won't all be of Megan's forehead this time.
I think yer cute.
Also, I've resorted to the improper spelling of words... I'm doing it to annoy people... and because I've decided that I like to convey exactly who I am in person, online...therefore... I type like I talk... all the time.
Your = yer
Fuck = Feck
What = wut
Done = dun
You get the point. It's funny too, because I've been told that over enunciate my words, when usually, most of the time, I'm lazy and speak like the above.
"Wut the feck, I can't even esplain how much I LUFFFFFFFF Ryan Reynolds."
Get it? I think this phase will pass, but it's fun annoying people. The horrible thing is, I'm completely playing off of Megan so I'm not sure when it will stop. I'll start saying random shit and get her going and vice versa... same with Sam... I never said stupid shit like... "latah" and "lovah" and other things with an ah until Sam started...and now I can't stop.
I hate my friends.
Apparently Court reads my blogs, if that's true, Court you must reply to this saying... "Jessica is fucking sweet. The new grey and black dress that she is wearing today looks WUNDERFUL!"
This blog has turned into a novel...might as well keep going.
Dear Priceline...we're fighting.
Dear Sam...I luff joo
Dear Megan...I will cut you open and sleep inside of you
Dear PE... I hope they find some part of you that was made with lead and do a massive recall. That would make my life!
Dear ER... Are you guys starring in that new flick yet where y'all play twinsies?!?!
Dear werk... you smell
OMFG, I just found a 5 cent candy in my purse from last night... brb while I eat the fuck out of it!
So... good.
HE SAYS, SON, CAN YOU PLAY ME A MEMORY?
I'M NOT REALLY SURE HOW IT GOES.
BUT IT'S SAD AND IT'S SWEET AND I KNEW IT COMPLETE,
WHEN I WORE A YOUNGER MANS CLOTHES...
SING US A SONG, YOU'RE THE PIANO MAN.
I want to be off of work so that I can do something INTERESTING!
/end long ass blog.
Did you write the book of love?
Asked someone to marry you?
- Guilty.
Kissed one of your Facebook friends?
- Guilty.
Danced on a table in a bar?
- Guilty.
Ever told a lie?
- Guilty.
Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?
- Guilty.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
- Guilty.
Kissed a picture?
- Guilty.
Slept in until 5 PM?
- Innocent.
Fallen asleep at work/school?
- Guilty.
Held a snake?
- Innocent.
Been suspended from school?
- Innocent.
Worked at a fast food restaurant?
- Innocent.
Stolen from a store?
- Guilty.
Been fired from a job?
- Guilty.
Done something you regret?
- Guilty.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
- Guilty.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
- Guilty.
Kissed in the rain?
- Guilty.
Sat on a roof top?
- Guilty.
Kissed someone you shouldn't?
- Guilty.
Sang in the shower?
- Guilty.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
- Guilty.
Shaved your head?
- Innocent.
Slept naked?
- Guilty.
Had a boxing membership?
- Innocent.
Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
- Guilty.
Been in a band?
- Innocent.
Shot a gun?
- Innocent.
Donated Blood?
- Innocent.
Eaten alligator meat?
- Innocent.
Eaten cheesecake?
- Guilty.
Still love someone you shouldn't?
- Innocent.
Have/had a tattoo?
- Guilty.
Liked someone, but will never tell who?
- Guilty.
Been too honest?
- Guilty.
Ruined a surprise?
- Guilty.
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can't walk afterwards?
- Innocent.
Erased someone in your friends list?
- Guilty.
Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?
- Guilty.
Joined a pageant?
- Innocent.
Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?
- Guilty.
Had communication w/ your ex?
- Guilty.
Dating Someone?
- Innocent.
Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?
- Guilty.
A total stranger treat you by paying your bus fare?
- Innocent.
Get totally angry that you cried so hard?
- Guilty.
Apparently I was only allowed to write guilty or innocent, I now feel like I should explain myself?!?! Muahahaha
Ummm, I also LUFF Fuze.
- Guilty.
Kissed one of your Facebook friends?
- Guilty.
Danced on a table in a bar?
- Guilty.
Ever told a lie?
- Guilty.
Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?
- Guilty.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
- Guilty.
Kissed a picture?
- Guilty.
Slept in until 5 PM?
- Innocent.
Fallen asleep at work/school?
- Guilty.
Held a snake?
- Innocent.
Been suspended from school?
- Innocent.
Worked at a fast food restaurant?
- Innocent.
Stolen from a store?
- Guilty.
Been fired from a job?
- Guilty.
Done something you regret?
- Guilty.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
- Guilty.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
- Guilty.
Kissed in the rain?
- Guilty.
Sat on a roof top?
- Guilty.
Kissed someone you shouldn't?
- Guilty.
Sang in the shower?
- Guilty.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
- Guilty.
Shaved your head?
- Innocent.
Slept naked?
- Guilty.
Had a boxing membership?
- Innocent.
Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
- Guilty.
Been in a band?
- Innocent.
Shot a gun?
- Innocent.
Donated Blood?
- Innocent.
Eaten alligator meat?
- Innocent.
Eaten cheesecake?
- Guilty.
Still love someone you shouldn't?
- Innocent.
Have/had a tattoo?
- Guilty.
Liked someone, but will never tell who?
- Guilty.
Been too honest?
- Guilty.
Ruined a surprise?
- Guilty.
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can't walk afterwards?
- Innocent.
Erased someone in your friends list?
- Guilty.
Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?
- Guilty.
Joined a pageant?
- Innocent.
Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?
- Guilty.
Had communication w/ your ex?
- Guilty.
Dating Someone?
- Innocent.
Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?
- Guilty.
A total stranger treat you by paying your bus fare?
- Innocent.
Get totally angry that you cried so hard?
- Guilty.
Apparently I was only allowed to write guilty or innocent, I now feel like I should explain myself?!?! Muahahaha
Ummm, I also LUFF Fuze.
I'm on the road to salvation? Orrrr no where...
I AM way too intoxicated to be typing right now....for real, I just backspaced to correct myself way more than I can count!
I SAW THE PROPOSAL...and the verdict is:
Ryan Reynolds is golden. Seriously, no man should be allowed to be THAT funny AND look THAT good. I just don't get it. Soooo Ryan Reynolds marathon anyone?
After the Proposal I went to a bbq/fire. Good times. Nikki ditched me around midnight leaving me to be the only girl... LAME! I'm not as outspoken and hilarious without fwends around.
I need to sleep, it's 2am
If I don't sleep, I'll just end up talking about people that I have a crush on...and a 21 year old talking about "crushes" is SOOOOOOOO lame!
I went to Banff...hiked till I died... Jagged death rocks everywhere! Time of my life. Let me tell you, TRAILS, NOTTTTT the same as a treadmill. Damn it.
I have decided that if and when I don't get approved for a Visa to move to the UK, Ireland, the USA, New Zealand or Australia, then I am going to take up living in Banff. It's such a young city located RIGHT in the mountains so you'd never have a dull moment.
On another note, I find it slightly pathetic that it's been 48 hours since I've talked to the other two girls that make my life (jaman), and I feel like I'm going mental. Last night, I plug my computer in.... drunk as fuck, NO RECEPTION. I'm like "I JUST WANT TO TALK TO SAM AND MEGANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN." It's sad that I talk to two people that live thousands of kilometres away more than I talk to my own family. Whatevs, it's love apparently.
Okay, sleep.
The fact that I'm taking the time to write is slightly humilating on my part.
I SAW THE PROPOSAL...and the verdict is:
Ryan Reynolds is golden. Seriously, no man should be allowed to be THAT funny AND look THAT good. I just don't get it. Soooo Ryan Reynolds marathon anyone?
After the Proposal I went to a bbq/fire. Good times. Nikki ditched me around midnight leaving me to be the only girl... LAME! I'm not as outspoken and hilarious without fwends around.
I need to sleep, it's 2am
If I don't sleep, I'll just end up talking about people that I have a crush on...and a 21 year old talking about "crushes" is SOOOOOOOO lame!
I went to Banff...hiked till I died... Jagged death rocks everywhere! Time of my life. Let me tell you, TRAILS, NOTTTTT the same as a treadmill. Damn it.
I have decided that if and when I don't get approved for a Visa to move to the UK, Ireland, the USA, New Zealand or Australia, then I am going to take up living in Banff. It's such a young city located RIGHT in the mountains so you'd never have a dull moment.
On another note, I find it slightly pathetic that it's been 48 hours since I've talked to the other two girls that make my life (jaman), and I feel like I'm going mental. Last night, I plug my computer in.... drunk as fuck, NO RECEPTION. I'm like "I JUST WANT TO TALK TO SAM AND MEGANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN." It's sad that I talk to two people that live thousands of kilometres away more than I talk to my own family. Whatevs, it's love apparently.
Okay, sleep.
The fact that I'm taking the time to write is slightly humilating on my part.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Correction.
Lets get one thing straight...
Apparently I'm an IDIOTTTTTTTTTTTTT. In my last blog that I did really late last night, I said "I love all the bitches."
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
I think I meant to say "I love all the bitches who joined my in blogTV last night to bid adieu to my piece of shit job." I could be wrong though. I don't understand half of what I say.
Megan's blog should have been updated yesterday with "I made Jessica a sweet ass fuckin' friendship bracelet" but of course, NOPE. She didn't blog about it...so I will, I suppose.
MEGAN MADE ME A SWEET ASS FUCKIN' FRIENDSHIP BRACELET. Apparently it's pretty colours and it took her an entire movie to make.
My legs are soft and I can't get the song "Le Disko" out of my head. ARGH.
I want... some stickers to decorate my laptop. It's kind of boring.
Apparently I'm an IDIOTTTTTTTTTTTTT. In my last blog that I did really late last night, I said "I love all the bitches."
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
I think I meant to say "I love all the bitches who joined my in blogTV last night to bid adieu to my piece of shit job." I could be wrong though. I don't understand half of what I say.
Megan's blog should have been updated yesterday with "I made Jessica a sweet ass fuckin' friendship bracelet" but of course, NOPE. She didn't blog about it...so I will, I suppose.
MEGAN MADE ME A SWEET ASS FUCKIN' FRIENDSHIP BRACELET. Apparently it's pretty colours and it took her an entire movie to make.
My legs are soft and I can't get the song "Le Disko" out of my head. ARGH.
I want... some stickers to decorate my laptop. It's kind of boring.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
5cent candies...
...make me feel better
I love all the bitches
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
It's gotta be this one
You don't have to fake it
You know I can take it
What if I told you
Your tears
Haven't been ignored
And everything
That was taken
Can be restored
[Chorus]
Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating
Out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this
Salvation under my breath
It's gotta be just right
Soul and spirit
Chord and lyric
What if I told you
That innocence is yours
And the beauty you have now
Is brighter than before
Before
[Chorus]
Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating
Out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this
Salvation under my breath
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Let go, let go and believe
(ah ah ah ah ah ah)
Let go, let go and believe
(ah ah ah ah ah ah)
Let go, let go and believe
Let goooo
Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating
Out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this
Salvation under my breath
I love all the bitches
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
It's gotta be this one
You don't have to fake it
You know I can take it
What if I told you
Your tears
Haven't been ignored
And everything
That was taken
Can be restored
[Chorus]
Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating
Out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this
Salvation under my breath
It's gotta be just right
Soul and spirit
Chord and lyric
What if I told you
That innocence is yours
And the beauty you have now
Is brighter than before
Before
[Chorus]
Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating
Out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this
Salvation under my breath
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Let go, let go and believe
(ah ah ah ah ah ah)
Let go, let go and believe
(ah ah ah ah ah ah)
Let go, let go and believe
Let goooo
Feel this
Can you feel this
My heart beating
Out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this
Salvation under my breath
Respect??? *weird face*
Megan, stop pretending to have a life and come speak to me.
I did it, I sent a big scary letter to my bosses today... I didn't quit, I just told them what was going on. I figure, maybe there is some hope. Apparently, my one co-worker told my other co-worker "oh, she must not want me to take those three days bad enough, she hasn't even called me." WELL YEAH, you already blatantly said no, you haven't responded to the 2 page sob story that I wrote you... WHY would I want to call you? I don't like confrontation in the work area. I mean, overall, confrontation is whatever, I'm kind of a bitch so it happens, but the thing is, I'm an overly emotional person. I cry...very easy and at work is not a place where I want to break down and look like a mess. I'd rather just avoid confrontation at all costs while at work... so YEA, I'm not going to ring him up just to be shot down again. It doesn't mean a lot to me??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'm giving up a job that I've had for well over two years, of course it means the ENTIRE world to me...
So update, while writing this, I got a response from my boss... this is what I wrote:
Hey Karry/Jon,
After much contemplating and trying to figure things out, I’ve come to the conclusion that there isn’t much else I can do. Six months ago, when Jeremy and Mo still worked here, I committed to attending an event in which I cannot get out of. At the time, I informed both of the guys and there was no issue. Karry, you had said, that as long as shifts were covered and we weren’t putting in overtime, it was fine. So that was that, and it all seemed appropriate. Now with Mo quitting very abruptly, I’m in a bind. Unfortunately, Doug cannot cover the shifts that I need… I worked it out so that there was no overtime and all that, but I suppose he has other commitments. There are only 3 shifts that need covering; Wednesday, Saturday and Tuesday. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough that I know someone needs to be here.
I have honestly tried to think of any and every which way that I could make this work. My job means a great deal to me and I have been here for well over two years. I have thoroughly enjoyed working for Checker/Ambassador and I by no means want to quit, however I just don’t see any other ultimatum. I WANT to stay here, more than anything; I just don’t know what to do. I have tried to get out of the event in which I was to attend, however, with this short of notice, it is just seemingly impossible.
If you have ANY advice at all for me, it would be greatly appreciated. If there is anything that could be worked out, I would be forever indebted to the company. I know it’s an imposition and I apologize. I would have written this email much sooner, but with the recent changes that have been made; I was hoping I could still work something out.
This is NOT my letter of resignation. If there is absolutely nothing that can be worked out, then I will have no other choice but to resign. Like I’ve said before, I DON’T want to quit, I love my job and it will sadden me if that is my only option.
I’ll end it there, I’ve rambled enough, thanks for everything.
Jessica Miller
AND THIS IS THE PIECE OF SHIT FUCKIGN RESPONSE I GET
If you can not work the shifts that are given then you need to find a different job.
After two years, you would think that I would get treated A LITTLE BETTER than that.
My life just isn't working out for me, it's bullshit.
I did it, I sent a big scary letter to my bosses today... I didn't quit, I just told them what was going on. I figure, maybe there is some hope. Apparently, my one co-worker told my other co-worker "oh, she must not want me to take those three days bad enough, she hasn't even called me." WELL YEAH, you already blatantly said no, you haven't responded to the 2 page sob story that I wrote you... WHY would I want to call you? I don't like confrontation in the work area. I mean, overall, confrontation is whatever, I'm kind of a bitch so it happens, but the thing is, I'm an overly emotional person. I cry...very easy and at work is not a place where I want to break down and look like a mess. I'd rather just avoid confrontation at all costs while at work... so YEA, I'm not going to ring him up just to be shot down again. It doesn't mean a lot to me??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'm giving up a job that I've had for well over two years, of course it means the ENTIRE world to me...
So update, while writing this, I got a response from my boss... this is what I wrote:
Hey Karry/Jon,
After much contemplating and trying to figure things out, I’ve come to the conclusion that there isn’t much else I can do. Six months ago, when Jeremy and Mo still worked here, I committed to attending an event in which I cannot get out of. At the time, I informed both of the guys and there was no issue. Karry, you had said, that as long as shifts were covered and we weren’t putting in overtime, it was fine. So that was that, and it all seemed appropriate. Now with Mo quitting very abruptly, I’m in a bind. Unfortunately, Doug cannot cover the shifts that I need… I worked it out so that there was no overtime and all that, but I suppose he has other commitments. There are only 3 shifts that need covering; Wednesday, Saturday and Tuesday. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough that I know someone needs to be here.
I have honestly tried to think of any and every which way that I could make this work. My job means a great deal to me and I have been here for well over two years. I have thoroughly enjoyed working for Checker/Ambassador and I by no means want to quit, however I just don’t see any other ultimatum. I WANT to stay here, more than anything; I just don’t know what to do. I have tried to get out of the event in which I was to attend, however, with this short of notice, it is just seemingly impossible.
If you have ANY advice at all for me, it would be greatly appreciated. If there is anything that could be worked out, I would be forever indebted to the company. I know it’s an imposition and I apologize. I would have written this email much sooner, but with the recent changes that have been made; I was hoping I could still work something out.
This is NOT my letter of resignation. If there is absolutely nothing that can be worked out, then I will have no other choice but to resign. Like I’ve said before, I DON’T want to quit, I love my job and it will sadden me if that is my only option.
I’ll end it there, I’ve rambled enough, thanks for everything.
Jessica Miller
AND THIS IS THE PIECE OF SHIT FUCKIGN RESPONSE I GET
If you can not work the shifts that are given then you need to find a different job.
After two years, you would think that I would get treated A LITTLE BETTER than that.
My life just isn't working out for me, it's bullshit.
I Will Try To Fix You
WTF...
COLDPLAY is in town, my company picked them up and I WASN'T at the airport to meet them! My life HATES me... end of story...
NO WAIT, this is even worse, this will really make you LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF...
I've been blogging about Leonardo DiCaprio for the last few days. I watched him on my TEEVEE just the other day and I've been itching to have a Leo marathon...
WELLLLLLLLLL, the bugger is in town.
Came in last night, again... MY COMPANY PICKED HIM UP... and I WASN'T at the airport to meet him.
I'M CRYING, no joke....... fucking Coldplay and Leo... here, in Calgary.
/ends life
COLDPLAY is in town, my company picked them up and I WASN'T at the airport to meet them! My life HATES me... end of story...
NO WAIT, this is even worse, this will really make you LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF...
I've been blogging about Leonardo DiCaprio for the last few days. I watched him on my TEEVEE just the other day and I've been itching to have a Leo marathon...
WELLLLLLLLLL, the bugger is in town.
Came in last night, again... MY COMPANY PICKED HIM UP... and I WASN'T at the airport to meet him.
I'M CRYING, no joke....... fucking Coldplay and Leo... here, in Calgary.
/ends life
Water the Plants or Accept!
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Death. Death. Death.
It's too early for me to be up.
Today is the big day. DO OR DIE... or just quit.
I need a biscuit. Damn it.
I slept with the fan on, now I think I'm sick. Fuck. Idiot.
I hate taking two buses and a train to work. It makes me cranky and irritable... especially when I know I have to do it all over again in twelve hours.
"Write chapter 2 today." Oy, that's a great idea.
"Listen to We'll Be Coming on repeat." YOU HAVE THE BEST IDEAS
"Go get ready for work." Fuck, fine.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Death. Death. Death.
It's too early for me to be up.
Today is the big day. DO OR DIE... or just quit.
I need a biscuit. Damn it.
I slept with the fan on, now I think I'm sick. Fuck. Idiot.
I hate taking two buses and a train to work. It makes me cranky and irritable... especially when I know I have to do it all over again in twelve hours.
"Write chapter 2 today." Oy, that's a great idea.
"Listen to We'll Be Coming on repeat." YOU HAVE THE BEST IDEAS
"Go get ready for work." Fuck, fine.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Common Sense Is Not So Common
My dog is the cutest thing ever.
When there are sirens outside, she stands on her hind legs and imitates the sirens, making this long drawn out bark/whine that sounds, oddly enough, like a siren. I FREAKING LOVE HER. I walked her twice today and if I wasn't so lazy, I'd go walk her again.
I finished watching the International today... since yesterday I fell asleep (it was 3am, it was to be expected). I just gotta say... WHAT IS WITH THESE ENDINGS PEOPLE?
Yesterday I watched Revolutionary Road and today the International and neither of them had Hollywood endings. On a good day, I'd be all for it... I welcome movies that are unexpected and break the mold... however, seeing as that I just want a feel good movie, I should have stuck with.... I dunno, something that makes me feel warm and fuzzy! 17 Again would have done the job... it's not on DVD...so would "He's Just Not That Into You." I've seen that twice this week though...
So, awkward movies prevail, while I run around my house, bored as shit, belting out the lyrics to "I Say A Little Prayer For You."
I RUN FOR THE BUS DEAR
WHILE RIDING, I THINK OF US DEARRRRR
I've also ran around the house singing "Shiny Toy Guns." The song "Rainy Monday" owns my life...actually, all of their songs are freaking awesome.
Also, this Black Eyed Peas song is AMAZING! It's one of those songs that you just wanna cruise down the road listening to, with your hair blowing in the wind and a huge smile on your face! It's not BEP's usual stuff.
I'm always addings song to my playlist of "getting ready" music. You know, that feel good music that makes you want to put on your party dress and have the best night of your life.
----
Why do so many of my posts include music? Probably because that shit makes the WORLDDDDDD go 'round.
----
I've got another AMAZING quote!
"Sometimes a man can meet his destiny on the road he took to avoid it."
This quote is from the International and when I heard it, it immedietely stuck. I may not be one of those people who is openly religious, or spiritual, or anything. I don't group myself or give myself a title, because in my mind, when I admit to the world that I buy into one thing, all of a sudden, it's 'wrong' if I still believe in another. I do believe in a lot of stuff though. I love religion, I love that 'what if's' that are presented throughout history, in the present and in the future. I'm a total contradiction; a realist who believes in the possibility of anything.
I guess I'm saying all of this because I'm a believer in fate. And when I say that, I don't take it any which way. I don't necessarily believe that we have a predestined fate, just like I don't necessarily believe that we make our own fate. I think a combination of the past, the present and the future, work alongside our environment, our body, our minds, our beliefs. I think that, literally, our entire life plays a part in our fate. You may say 'WHAT THE FUCK' are you talking about, but I just can't pinpoint my entire existance, my entire fate, on one thing or another. I can't contribute it all to one experience or moment. I can't leave it in God's hands or will myself to find the path that the rest of my life is on.
That's why I like that quote so much... To me, some people try SO HARD to run from their destiny (fate)...that they'll stop at nothing. They were told or meant to believe, or it was learned, that THIS is what would become of them in the future. This being anything imaginable, anything that a person does NOT want.
People will ALSO, at the same time, try so hard to FIND their fate (destiny). Someone told them, or they woke up one day BELIEVING so hard, with their entire being, that they were meant for something in particular.
Both of these things annoy me... because, whether or not your destiny is preconceived by God or any other higher being, or you make your own fate, one way or another, it's there... it doesn't matter whos hands, the rest of your life is in, the point is, is that it's uncontrollable. If there were no options in life, no forks in the road... no regrets, and lessons learned, maybe I would buy into certain things that other people follow... but I can't. My ability to question and choose... and contemplate the universe, has made me believe that nothing is absolute... I'm going to contradict myself again by ALSO saying "everything is absolute."... we just have it backwards. You think to yourself "I'm going to get married and have kids, that, I am absolutely sure of." NO, NO YOU'RE NOT SURE OF IT. What if in your next moment, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and got killed, what if you had a life altering experience five years down the road that made you join the Convent? There is absolutely no way of controlling life. Unless you're stripped of the ability to think and question... you will never be able to control things. I mean, you can try and maintain a path to the things you want out of life, and yea, you might get what you want, but don't ever, for a second, think that everything you got, which was everything you wanted, was by your hand... was by the fate that you controlled.
That's where the nothing is absolute comes into play....where does the everything is absolute fall? I guess, that would fall into life... overall. The fact that you're here, living, breathing... is absolute. When you wake up, turn on your computer, THAT is absolute. The fact that we can not alter the thoughts that have already entered our minds, and we cannot undo the action from 30 seconds, 30 hours or 30 days ago... all of this, is already determined...no takebacks. Unles of course you buy into that Vanilla Sky bullshit.
I make no sense, I realize... these are literally, me trying to sort out my thoughts... on the computer. And I think, that by having the courage, to admit that I'm throwing things out there that I don't understand... is a pretty good accomplishment. Some people will go their whole lives publicly buying into something while secretly questioning things and they'll never admit it to themselves. It's just a facade... I know I'm not the only person who has fucked up thoughts that are ALLLLLL OVER the place. To me, that thought itself, is very refreshing.
WHEW, all that from a quote... can you tell how bored I am?!?!
----
I think it's almost time for food, I'm hungry.
----
Tomorrow I have to write a letter of monumental proportions to my boss(es). They're either going to understand, or they're not... I've gotta get over the fact that this CAN'T be the end of the world. If I can't attend TwiCon, or go to the movies, I can't let my life revolve around those possibilities, or I'm going to make myself depressed. There are other jobs out there...and who knows, maybe I'll get a positive response, maybe I'll get hired elsewhere in a flash. Ummm, HI OPTIMISM, I've been looking for you!
----
The only thing that I'm sure of, is that I still want to just be anywhere but here. My life is not a cubicle, or endless days on the computer. Some people are content with that shit, and that's fine. To each their own... that's just not me. I want to peer over the Cliffs of Moher...and experience a Turkish bath. I want to take a picture of where the Berlin wall once stood and bitch about the temperature in Egypt as I look at the pyramids. I want to set foot on every continent... I don't care if I hate the spicyness of Asian food, or I'm not accustomed to the traditional clothing of an area, still want to experience it.
Right now I'm going to settle for the UK & Ireland... I say settle in the best possible sense. I can't have it all right now, but I can start somewhere!
----
I've also come to the conclusion that I can NEVER live by myself. My parents go away and I get eerily creeped out... even if my brother is downstairs, I just feel eerie. I was one of those people growing up, who was surrounded by noise and people. When I was little, I had a small tv in my room that didn't even have cable. I would fall asleep to infromercials. I'm generally unable to fall asleep without noise, it's weird. Whether I'm listening to the sounds outside or in my house, or music, or whatever... I LIKE NOISE. If there is noise, I can fall asleep in 2.5 seconds. Not even kidding you. I've fallen asleep at movies, concerts, parties... you name it.
----
UMMM HIILOVEYOU! YUM!
When there are sirens outside, she stands on her hind legs and imitates the sirens, making this long drawn out bark/whine that sounds, oddly enough, like a siren. I FREAKING LOVE HER. I walked her twice today and if I wasn't so lazy, I'd go walk her again.
I finished watching the International today... since yesterday I fell asleep (it was 3am, it was to be expected). I just gotta say... WHAT IS WITH THESE ENDINGS PEOPLE?
Yesterday I watched Revolutionary Road and today the International and neither of them had Hollywood endings. On a good day, I'd be all for it... I welcome movies that are unexpected and break the mold... however, seeing as that I just want a feel good movie, I should have stuck with.... I dunno, something that makes me feel warm and fuzzy! 17 Again would have done the job... it's not on DVD...so would "He's Just Not That Into You." I've seen that twice this week though...
So, awkward movies prevail, while I run around my house, bored as shit, belting out the lyrics to "I Say A Little Prayer For You."
I RUN FOR THE BUS DEAR
WHILE RIDING, I THINK OF US DEARRRRR
I've also ran around the house singing "Shiny Toy Guns." The song "Rainy Monday" owns my life...actually, all of their songs are freaking awesome.
Also, this Black Eyed Peas song is AMAZING! It's one of those songs that you just wanna cruise down the road listening to, with your hair blowing in the wind and a huge smile on your face! It's not BEP's usual stuff.
I'm always addings song to my playlist of "getting ready" music. You know, that feel good music that makes you want to put on your party dress and have the best night of your life.
----
Why do so many of my posts include music? Probably because that shit makes the WORLDDDDDD go 'round.
----
I've got another AMAZING quote!
"Sometimes a man can meet his destiny on the road he took to avoid it."
This quote is from the International and when I heard it, it immedietely stuck. I may not be one of those people who is openly religious, or spiritual, or anything. I don't group myself or give myself a title, because in my mind, when I admit to the world that I buy into one thing, all of a sudden, it's 'wrong' if I still believe in another. I do believe in a lot of stuff though. I love religion, I love that 'what if's' that are presented throughout history, in the present and in the future. I'm a total contradiction; a realist who believes in the possibility of anything.
I guess I'm saying all of this because I'm a believer in fate. And when I say that, I don't take it any which way. I don't necessarily believe that we have a predestined fate, just like I don't necessarily believe that we make our own fate. I think a combination of the past, the present and the future, work alongside our environment, our body, our minds, our beliefs. I think that, literally, our entire life plays a part in our fate. You may say 'WHAT THE FUCK' are you talking about, but I just can't pinpoint my entire existance, my entire fate, on one thing or another. I can't contribute it all to one experience or moment. I can't leave it in God's hands or will myself to find the path that the rest of my life is on.
That's why I like that quote so much... To me, some people try SO HARD to run from their destiny (fate)...that they'll stop at nothing. They were told or meant to believe, or it was learned, that THIS is what would become of them in the future. This being anything imaginable, anything that a person does NOT want.
People will ALSO, at the same time, try so hard to FIND their fate (destiny). Someone told them, or they woke up one day BELIEVING so hard, with their entire being, that they were meant for something in particular.
Both of these things annoy me... because, whether or not your destiny is preconceived by God or any other higher being, or you make your own fate, one way or another, it's there... it doesn't matter whos hands, the rest of your life is in, the point is, is that it's uncontrollable. If there were no options in life, no forks in the road... no regrets, and lessons learned, maybe I would buy into certain things that other people follow... but I can't. My ability to question and choose... and contemplate the universe, has made me believe that nothing is absolute... I'm going to contradict myself again by ALSO saying "everything is absolute."... we just have it backwards. You think to yourself "I'm going to get married and have kids, that, I am absolutely sure of." NO, NO YOU'RE NOT SURE OF IT. What if in your next moment, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and got killed, what if you had a life altering experience five years down the road that made you join the Convent? There is absolutely no way of controlling life. Unless you're stripped of the ability to think and question... you will never be able to control things. I mean, you can try and maintain a path to the things you want out of life, and yea, you might get what you want, but don't ever, for a second, think that everything you got, which was everything you wanted, was by your hand... was by the fate that you controlled.
That's where the nothing is absolute comes into play....where does the everything is absolute fall? I guess, that would fall into life... overall. The fact that you're here, living, breathing... is absolute. When you wake up, turn on your computer, THAT is absolute. The fact that we can not alter the thoughts that have already entered our minds, and we cannot undo the action from 30 seconds, 30 hours or 30 days ago... all of this, is already determined...no takebacks. Unles of course you buy into that Vanilla Sky bullshit.
I make no sense, I realize... these are literally, me trying to sort out my thoughts... on the computer. And I think, that by having the courage, to admit that I'm throwing things out there that I don't understand... is a pretty good accomplishment. Some people will go their whole lives publicly buying into something while secretly questioning things and they'll never admit it to themselves. It's just a facade... I know I'm not the only person who has fucked up thoughts that are ALLLLLL OVER the place. To me, that thought itself, is very refreshing.
WHEW, all that from a quote... can you tell how bored I am?!?!
----
I think it's almost time for food, I'm hungry.
----
Tomorrow I have to write a letter of monumental proportions to my boss(es). They're either going to understand, or they're not... I've gotta get over the fact that this CAN'T be the end of the world. If I can't attend TwiCon, or go to the movies, I can't let my life revolve around those possibilities, or I'm going to make myself depressed. There are other jobs out there...and who knows, maybe I'll get a positive response, maybe I'll get hired elsewhere in a flash. Ummm, HI OPTIMISM, I've been looking for you!
----
The only thing that I'm sure of, is that I still want to just be anywhere but here. My life is not a cubicle, or endless days on the computer. Some people are content with that shit, and that's fine. To each their own... that's just not me. I want to peer over the Cliffs of Moher...and experience a Turkish bath. I want to take a picture of where the Berlin wall once stood and bitch about the temperature in Egypt as I look at the pyramids. I want to set foot on every continent... I don't care if I hate the spicyness of Asian food, or I'm not accustomed to the traditional clothing of an area, still want to experience it.
Right now I'm going to settle for the UK & Ireland... I say settle in the best possible sense. I can't have it all right now, but I can start somewhere!
----
I've also come to the conclusion that I can NEVER live by myself. My parents go away and I get eerily creeped out... even if my brother is downstairs, I just feel eerie. I was one of those people growing up, who was surrounded by noise and people. When I was little, I had a small tv in my room that didn't even have cable. I would fall asleep to infromercials. I'm generally unable to fall asleep without noise, it's weird. Whether I'm listening to the sounds outside or in my house, or music, or whatever... I LIKE NOISE. If there is noise, I can fall asleep in 2.5 seconds. Not even kidding you. I've fallen asleep at movies, concerts, parties... you name it.
----
UMMM HIILOVEYOU! YUM!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
A Song For Your Heart, I Know What It Means
Saw the world turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars beneath my feet
Remember rights that I did wrong
So here I go
Hello, hello
There is no place I cannot go
My mind is muddy but
My heart is heavy, does it show
I lose the track that loses me
So here I go
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
And so I sent some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night,
Said "Have you seen my enemy?"
Said "he looked just like me"
So I set out to cut myself
And here I go
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake again,
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
And maybe someday we will meet
And maybe talk and not just speak
Don't buy the promises 'cause
There are no promises I keep,
And my reflection troubles me
So here I go
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake (REPEAT) again
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
So while I'm turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars
Look at the stars, falling down,
And I wonder where, did I go wrong.
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars beneath my feet
Remember rights that I did wrong
So here I go
Hello, hello
There is no place I cannot go
My mind is muddy but
My heart is heavy, does it show
I lose the track that loses me
So here I go
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
And so I sent some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night,
Said "Have you seen my enemy?"
Said "he looked just like me"
So I set out to cut myself
And here I go
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake again,
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
And maybe someday we will meet
And maybe talk and not just speak
Don't buy the promises 'cause
There are no promises I keep,
And my reflection troubles me
So here I go
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake (REPEAT) again
Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...
So while I'm turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars
Look at the stars, falling down,
And I wonder where, did I go wrong.
I'd Like To Be Somebody's Gerry
My sweet song
It's been a long time
What'd you come around here for
Cause that old love is gone
And I've since carried on
Thought I was rid of you for sure
Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so
sweet no more
Please don't sing to me
Cause it hurts me to hear the melody that was
Good to me before
Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so
sweet no more
Oh you said love was forever and you told me
love would never
Break my heart, and I believed you as I fell
That's all over, let it go,
You're just a song I used to know
And your fantasy, it don't work for me
Go and pick on someone else
My sweet song
Guess I'm stuck with you
And someday, I'll find the love I'm looking for
Then my sweet, sweet song won't sound so
sad no more
My sweet, sweet song, I'll guess I'll always be yours
It's been a long time
What'd you come around here for
Cause that old love is gone
And I've since carried on
Thought I was rid of you for sure
Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so
sweet no more
Please don't sing to me
Cause it hurts me to hear the melody that was
Good to me before
Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so
sweet no more
Oh you said love was forever and you told me
love would never
Break my heart, and I believed you as I fell
That's all over, let it go,
You're just a song I used to know
And your fantasy, it don't work for me
Go and pick on someone else
My sweet song
Guess I'm stuck with you
And someday, I'll find the love I'm looking for
Then my sweet, sweet song won't sound so
sad no more
My sweet, sweet song, I'll guess I'll always be yours
Never-Ending Why
I've alienated myself from like.... anyone who is important.
Fuck TwiCon...and Washington.
I want a sandwich and Cam Gigandet, both of those things would make me feel entirely better.
***update***
So, it's been about half an hour since I've started this post...and a lot has happened in those 30 minutes, so I guess I'll just continue.
I was going to end this blog at... "entirely better." But now, I feel like I should continue. Soooo, I'm looking for an appropriate emo picture to suit this blog because I felt like it was well deserved. And as I'm looking for a photo, internet just closes. UGHHH, just like that. So instead of being a patient individual, I decide "fuck that noise, I want food."
So I went to go make bread, cheese and meat, better known as a SANDWICH... it went kind of like this:
Jessica wants sandwich
Jessica opens fridge
Jessica opens crisper
Jessica looks at different luncheon meats
Jessica spots bologna
Jessica contemplates
Jessica picks up bologna
Jessica looks at bologna due date
Jessica is relieved, bologna very fresh, bought yesterday
Jessica opens bologna
Jessica smells bologna
Jessica regrets smelling bologna
Jessica locates 12 grain
Jessica locates cheese
Jessica contemplates bologna again
Jessica puts bread, cheese and bologna together
Jessica sits on carpet
Jessica locates cartoons
Jessica feels euphoric due to memories of being 8
Jessica misses being 8
Jessica locates juice
Jessica decides water is better due to hangover
Jessica eats sandwich
The end
Yes, I know, that was the most pointless story of my life, but I felt I needed to share it.
So.... backtracking a little (there are parents yelling at their kids outside my window) <--- that isn't part of my story.
Anyways, yesterday, Nikki and I are EXTREMELY bored. We're waiting around, wondering what everyone is up to when finally, our friend Bryan calls. He's like "lets go in the hot tub!!!" I'm like "fuck you and no." He persists and I swear...I haven't been in a pool/hot tub in years and nor did I plan on going in one anytime soon. Well, eventually, I give in. I thought "there will be people that don't end up going in, I'll just chill out."
I ended up putting on my bathing suit (which for all intensive purposes, is not meant for water). It's a white bathing suit, but I have this really cute grey, black and green dress that I wanted to wear. Plus, the dress is short, so if I had my bottoms on, it wouldn't really matter if I got drunk, biffed it and my dress flew up.
Nikki and I ended up taking over a 26 and 6 coolers (why so much alcohol, I'll never know). We started off the night with drinking games, hanging out, doing whatever. By the time we decided we wanted to get in the hot tub, we were already a few drinks deep and ready to go! At this point, I was like "fuck it, I wanna swim." So into the hot tub we all piled in.
Well, after that, Nikki ended up drinking half of a 26 of rum in the hot tub...and she didn't get out at all. She would sit on the edge, but she didn't actually get out of the hot tub. I was getting out to smoke and all that. Within two hours of being in the hot tub, we were just passing around alcohol at this point, Nikki had already fell face first into the water and was seemingly more drunk as each second passed.
By the time we pulled ourselves out of the hot tub at 2:30, Nikki was a wreck. This is how bad she was... at one point, she called her voice mail and to check her messages and there was one from my dad asking if we needed a ride... WELLL, to her voicemail, she goes "JEFF, YOU LISTEN TO ME, I DON'T NEED A RIDE, I'M SWIMMING, LIKE A FROG...JEFF WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING, I JUST TOLD YOU, I DON'T NEED A RIDE." After she hangs up, she goes "Jessica, your dad just hung up on me." So she proceeds to CALL MY HOUSE. My dad picks up and she starts talking... "I thought I was calling Jessica's dad, I don't want the voice mail machine, how do I hang up....HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, ECHO, ECHO... click."
I think the point of my story is that hot tubs + alcohol is a no go. Especially in Nikki's case. I mean, I was a shit show, I was wrecked entirely...but Nikki, was past the point of anything sane. She was so fucking stupid last night, that she sat in the middle of the street and started puking. Now I know you're probably saying "that doesn't sound too dumb" but I haven't finished... the road she was sitting on, went uphill, and when she started puking, she was sitting downhill from the spot that she puked, so I'm trying to drag her out of the way... and it's just not working. IDIOT. It was good times though. I didn't get to sleep until 5 in the morning, but that was to be expected. Nikki locked herself in the bathroom for an hour, after demanding that I find her tylenol and water...(UMMM helloooo, I'm drunk too).
-----
Okay, and moving on.
I FUCKING WANT TO WATCH BRAVEHEART...is that SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to ask? My brother is going to Blockbuster so I say "can you pick up Braveheart?" He calls me "Blockbuster doesn't have Braveheart." HOW CAN A VIDEO STORE NOT OWN THAT MOVIE... so I'm like...
"what about King Arthur?"
"Nope, that one is rented out."
"The Man In The Iron Mask."
"Nope"
"Romeo & Juliet - leo version"
"Ughhh no."
"fuck blockbuster"
"Tristan & Isolde, please say they have it"
"Can't find it."
"I give up."
YEA, BLOCKBUSTER SUCKS ASS... so I settled on Revolutionary Road which I really, really, really want to see, but I was in the mood for a more "monumental" type movie. I contemplated watching Troy, but I watch that movie way too much...and it's long.... so we'll have to see how this movie goes! I love Kate & Leo <3...I think they're an AMAZING on screen couple. I want to watch Blood Diamond. Okay, so apparently, I'm really in the mood for Leonardo DiCaprio.... can't complain.
----
My parents are leaving today. I just woke up and it was "k, we're going to go to B.C. today." I'm like "wtf???" My mom was like "we'll be back Tuesday or Wednesday." Ummmm.... BYE. Apparently they're just going to randomly stay at a cabin in the woods so my mom can take some "scenic" photos and my dad can play golf... weird.
----
So I retract my "fuck TwiCon and WA" statement....but only a little bit...I'm still hating both at the moment, although, I'm saying it with a little less gusto. I'm saying it with a more annoyed tone...whereas before it was "I will hang myself if either of these are mentioned again."
ilmas
I WANT TO GO TO WALMART. How can I go on vacation if I don't have what I need... like liquids to cleanse my hair... or possibly ANOTHER pair of sandals (I lurve walmart sandals)
----
bye parents, they've departed
----
holy hell long blogpost
----
I miss Las Vegas, you have NO idea how much
----
10 days
----
I'll do what I got to, the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt
Taking Back Sunday - I LOVE YOU!
----
MY COWORKER IS FUCKING PATHETIC. I prefer the undergrowth on a donkey's ass than him. I fucking hate him...HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE. I can't even touch this subject right now or else I'm going to say stuff in which I'll really regret later.
FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.
/END BLOG
ILOVEYOUPOSTALSERVICE
Fuck TwiCon...and Washington.
I want a sandwich and Cam Gigandet, both of those things would make me feel entirely better.
***update***
So, it's been about half an hour since I've started this post...and a lot has happened in those 30 minutes, so I guess I'll just continue.
I was going to end this blog at... "entirely better." But now, I feel like I should continue. Soooo, I'm looking for an appropriate emo picture to suit this blog because I felt like it was well deserved. And as I'm looking for a photo, internet just closes. UGHHH, just like that. So instead of being a patient individual, I decide "fuck that noise, I want food."
So I went to go make bread, cheese and meat, better known as a SANDWICH... it went kind of like this:
Jessica wants sandwich
Jessica opens fridge
Jessica opens crisper
Jessica looks at different luncheon meats
Jessica spots bologna
Jessica contemplates
Jessica picks up bologna
Jessica looks at bologna due date
Jessica is relieved, bologna very fresh, bought yesterday
Jessica opens bologna
Jessica smells bologna
Jessica regrets smelling bologna
Jessica locates 12 grain
Jessica locates cheese
Jessica contemplates bologna again
Jessica puts bread, cheese and bologna together
Jessica sits on carpet
Jessica locates cartoons
Jessica feels euphoric due to memories of being 8
Jessica misses being 8
Jessica locates juice
Jessica decides water is better due to hangover
Jessica eats sandwich
The end
Yes, I know, that was the most pointless story of my life, but I felt I needed to share it.
So.... backtracking a little (there are parents yelling at their kids outside my window) <--- that isn't part of my story.
Anyways, yesterday, Nikki and I are EXTREMELY bored. We're waiting around, wondering what everyone is up to when finally, our friend Bryan calls. He's like "lets go in the hot tub!!!" I'm like "fuck you and no." He persists and I swear...I haven't been in a pool/hot tub in years and nor did I plan on going in one anytime soon. Well, eventually, I give in. I thought "there will be people that don't end up going in, I'll just chill out."
I ended up putting on my bathing suit (which for all intensive purposes, is not meant for water). It's a white bathing suit, but I have this really cute grey, black and green dress that I wanted to wear. Plus, the dress is short, so if I had my bottoms on, it wouldn't really matter if I got drunk, biffed it and my dress flew up.
Nikki and I ended up taking over a 26 and 6 coolers (why so much alcohol, I'll never know). We started off the night with drinking games, hanging out, doing whatever. By the time we decided we wanted to get in the hot tub, we were already a few drinks deep and ready to go! At this point, I was like "fuck it, I wanna swim." So into the hot tub we all piled in.
Well, after that, Nikki ended up drinking half of a 26 of rum in the hot tub...and she didn't get out at all. She would sit on the edge, but she didn't actually get out of the hot tub. I was getting out to smoke and all that. Within two hours of being in the hot tub, we were just passing around alcohol at this point, Nikki had already fell face first into the water and was seemingly more drunk as each second passed.
By the time we pulled ourselves out of the hot tub at 2:30, Nikki was a wreck. This is how bad she was... at one point, she called her voice mail and to check her messages and there was one from my dad asking if we needed a ride... WELLL, to her voicemail, she goes "JEFF, YOU LISTEN TO ME, I DON'T NEED A RIDE, I'M SWIMMING, LIKE A FROG...JEFF WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING, I JUST TOLD YOU, I DON'T NEED A RIDE." After she hangs up, she goes "Jessica, your dad just hung up on me." So she proceeds to CALL MY HOUSE. My dad picks up and she starts talking... "I thought I was calling Jessica's dad, I don't want the voice mail machine, how do I hang up....HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, ECHO, ECHO... click."
I think the point of my story is that hot tubs + alcohol is a no go. Especially in Nikki's case. I mean, I was a shit show, I was wrecked entirely...but Nikki, was past the point of anything sane. She was so fucking stupid last night, that she sat in the middle of the street and started puking. Now I know you're probably saying "that doesn't sound too dumb" but I haven't finished... the road she was sitting on, went uphill, and when she started puking, she was sitting downhill from the spot that she puked, so I'm trying to drag her out of the way... and it's just not working. IDIOT. It was good times though. I didn't get to sleep until 5 in the morning, but that was to be expected. Nikki locked herself in the bathroom for an hour, after demanding that I find her tylenol and water...(UMMM helloooo, I'm drunk too).
-----
Okay, and moving on.
I FUCKING WANT TO WATCH BRAVEHEART...is that SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to ask? My brother is going to Blockbuster so I say "can you pick up Braveheart?" He calls me "Blockbuster doesn't have Braveheart." HOW CAN A VIDEO STORE NOT OWN THAT MOVIE... so I'm like...
"what about King Arthur?"
"Nope, that one is rented out."
"The Man In The Iron Mask."
"Nope"
"Romeo & Juliet - leo version"
"Ughhh no."
"fuck blockbuster"
"Tristan & Isolde, please say they have it"
"Can't find it."
"I give up."
YEA, BLOCKBUSTER SUCKS ASS... so I settled on Revolutionary Road which I really, really, really want to see, but I was in the mood for a more "monumental" type movie. I contemplated watching Troy, but I watch that movie way too much...and it's long.... so we'll have to see how this movie goes! I love Kate & Leo <3...I think they're an AMAZING on screen couple. I want to watch Blood Diamond. Okay, so apparently, I'm really in the mood for Leonardo DiCaprio.... can't complain.
----
My parents are leaving today. I just woke up and it was "k, we're going to go to B.C. today." I'm like "wtf???" My mom was like "we'll be back Tuesday or Wednesday." Ummmm.... BYE. Apparently they're just going to randomly stay at a cabin in the woods so my mom can take some "scenic" photos and my dad can play golf... weird.
----
So I retract my "fuck TwiCon and WA" statement....but only a little bit...I'm still hating both at the moment, although, I'm saying it with a little less gusto. I'm saying it with a more annoyed tone...whereas before it was "I will hang myself if either of these are mentioned again."
ilmas
I WANT TO GO TO WALMART. How can I go on vacation if I don't have what I need... like liquids to cleanse my hair... or possibly ANOTHER pair of sandals (I lurve walmart sandals)
----
bye parents, they've departed
----
holy hell long blogpost
----
I miss Las Vegas, you have NO idea how much
----
10 days
----
I'll do what I got to, the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt
Taking Back Sunday - I LOVE YOU!
----
MY COWORKER IS FUCKING PATHETIC. I prefer the undergrowth on a donkey's ass than him. I fucking hate him...HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE. I can't even touch this subject right now or else I'm going to say stuff in which I'll really regret later.
FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.
/END BLOG
ILOVEYOUPOSTALSERVICE
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Recipe: Tears and a Fake Smile
HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 6 YEARS??
-------------6 years ago----------
1.) How old were you? 15.
2.) Where did you go to school? James Fowler High School
3.) Where did you work? I don't think I was working in June.
4.) Where did you live? Rundle (in calgary)
5.) Where did you hang out? Alex's basement, Prairie Winds
6.) Did you wear glasses? I was supposed to, but I didn't.
7) Who was your best friend? Nikki, Amy, Kelsey.
8.) How many tattoos did you have? Zero
9.) How many piercings did you have? 7 maybe... or 6.
10.) What car did you drive? No vroom vroom for me
11.) Had you been to a real party? I partied more when I was 15 than I do now, haha.
12.) Had You had your heart broken? When I was 15, it felt like everytime I fought with a guy, or Alex to be more specific, my heart was breaking.
13.)Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Taken
-------------3 years ago----------
1.) How old were you?: 18
2.) Where did you go to school? I had JUST graduated James Fowler and I was starting at Chinook College
3.) Where did you work? The Brick (worst job ever)
4.) Where did you live? Monterey Park (calgary)
5.) Where did you hang out? I had just turned 18, so I was at the bars and clubs A LOT. 3 or 4 times a week, it was bad.
6.) Did you wear glasses? Glasses
7.) Who was your best friend? Nikki
9.) How many tattoos did you have? ZEROOO
10.) How many piercings did you have? 7
11) What car did you drive? No vroom vroom for me.
12) Had your heart broken? Meh, not really.
13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Taken
--------------------Today--------------------
1.) How old are you?: 21
2.) Where do you go to school? No where.
3.) Where do you work? At the airport.
4.) Where do you live? Calgary, new community.
5.) Where do you hang out? It depends. I don't really "hang out" these days.
7.) Who was your childhood best bud and still is your buddy? Nikki, Sarah.
9.) How many tattoos do you have? ONE.
10.) How many piercings do you have? TEN.
11) What car do you drive? I OWN a Plymouth Sundance but I have no license aha.
12) Had your heart broken? Kinda...ish.
13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Single.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
1 MINUTE AGO: Talking in chatzy and sighing.
1 HOUR AGO: Smoking, talking in chatzy... going mental.
1 DAY AGO: Cleaning my room, getting ready to watch the hockey game.
1 YEAR AGO: I WAS IN DISNEYLAND!
First piercing: Ears - when I was just a wee one.
First credit card: Visa
Last car ride: With my mother, 5 hours ago.
Last movie seen in theaters: The Hangover <3 Love that movie.
Last food consumed: Bagel... I feel hungry again.
Last person you texted: Ummm, fml.
Last drink drank: Watah
SHORT ANSWER.
I AM: annoyed
I HAVE: dreams
I LIKE: traveling...and boys.
I WISH: for money
FAVORITES..
NUMBER: 16, 24
COLOUR: purple, grey
DAY(S): Friday
MONTH(S): May, June.
SEASON: Spring
DRINK: lots.
IN THE LAST 2 DAYS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? yupp.
HELPED SOMEONE? Yeeeaaa.
GOTTEN SICK? Negative.
GONE TO THE MOVIES?: Nope.
SAID 'I love you'? Yep.
TALKED TO AN EX? Yea..ish.
WRITTEN IN A DIARY?: This is my diary, kinda.
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? Yea =(
_______ Best ________
1. Male Friend: boys...that are friends? No best guy friends, just lots of good guys friends!
2. Female Friend: Nikki... Megan & Sam too, I guess. They live kind of far.
3. Best Age: 21...the age I am RIGHT NOW!
4. Best Memory: Ahhhh, so many <3 mu.
_______ Worst ________
1. Time Of Day: First thing in the morning.
2. Day Of The Week: Tuesday.
3. Food: Seafood, sick...haggis (i just threw up)
4. Memory: I try and block those out. Probably haloween, when I was 15. Cunt.
_______ Last ________
1. Person you saw: Nikki.
2. Phone call: Alex.
_______ First ________
1. b/f or g/f: Oooo, Jesse? I'm pretty sure I dated some guy in elementary named Will for a day, but I can't be sure.
2. Job: Calgary round up center. Trying to sell pressurized wine openers... WTF?
_______ Today ________
1. What are you doing now: Working, going insane.
2. Tonight: I work till 11. I may go see a friends band play if I'm up for it, but I'm guessing I'll be too tired/lazy/bitchy to do much of anything.
3. Wearing: Jeans, flats, grey tee, blue volcom hoodie.
4. What did you eat for lunch: Bagel
_______ Tomorrow ________
1. Is: Sunday.
2. Got any plans: I need to go to the mall. Then Reanna's.. then we'll see.
3. Goal: My goal for tomorrow is to wake up before 11... and be productive.
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: it's still quite far away. =(
5. Likes about tomorrow: It's the weekend!
And another!
1. Are you currently mad at someone? Annoyed, not mad.
2. Which family member has the worst temper? My father and brother.
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone's face? Hahah, YES.
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry? Yea, it's because I cry when I'm mad.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell? I yell and cry, it's wonderful
EXCITEMENT
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you? No =[
3. Which of your friends is most excitable? Nikki... for certain occasions only.
4. If you could have anything right now, what would it be? A plane ticket, or money to buy a plane ticket. I'm not asking for a lot.
YOU
1. Name: Jessica Nicole
2. Where were you born? Calgary, Canada
3. What's your main goal in life? Find out what life has to offer. BE HAPPY.
4. Do you want to have children? Of course.
5. How do you want to die? In my sleep, peacefully.
LOVE
1. Do you have a crush? Cam Gigandet, obviously.
2. Who is the best hugger that you know? Myself... for real!
3. Do you believe in love at first sight? Never. Lust, it's all about lust.
LAST
1. Person you saw not in your family? Nikki.
2. Person you hugged? Alex.
3. Shared a bed with someone? Alex.
4. Movie/Tv Show watched? CSI: NY
5. Time you cryed? Yesterday.
6. Song you listened to? Let My Love Open The Door
IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU
1. Bought something? Yep, too many things.
2. Gotten sick? Nope.
3. Been hugged? Yes <3 *feels warm and fuzzy*
4. Felt stupid? OMFG, YES! "Thanks"
5. Missed someone? Definitely.
6. Failed a test? Nope.
7. Danced? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! <3
HAVE YOU EVER
1. Said "I Love you"? All the time.
2. Given money to a homeless person? Yep.
3. Smoked? Yes...
4. Waited all night for a phone call? Unfortunately.
5. Snuck out? When I was like... YOUNG.
6. Sat and looked at the stars? YES <3
7. Slept in a bed with the opposite sex? Yep! =)
8. Hooked up in the woods? Yep...haha
9. Spent more than $200 in one day on shopping? Yes!
10. Hooked up in the shower? Yep. lol.
11. Been dumped? Again...yes.
12. Stolen money from a friend? Nope. I just say "I'm taking money from your wallet." And they nod.
13. Slept naked? Every night of my life.
16. Seen someone die? No. Thank goodness.
17. Been on an airplane? Yes, way too much.
18. Slept all day? No. Stayed in bed all day, but not sleeping.
19. Missed someone so much it hurt? Yes, ugh.
20. Fallen asleep during school? Hahahahaha. yes... so fucking embaressing.
21. Been lonely? Yes =( *sigh*
22. Cheated in a game? Probably.
23. Been to the ER? Yea.
24. Been in a car accident? Not any type of accident you could really classify as a car accident, if that makes sense???
-------------6 years ago----------
1.) How old were you? 15.
2.) Where did you go to school? James Fowler High School
3.) Where did you work? I don't think I was working in June.
4.) Where did you live? Rundle (in calgary)
5.) Where did you hang out? Alex's basement, Prairie Winds
6.) Did you wear glasses? I was supposed to, but I didn't.
7) Who was your best friend? Nikki, Amy, Kelsey.
8.) How many tattoos did you have? Zero
9.) How many piercings did you have? 7 maybe... or 6.
10.) What car did you drive? No vroom vroom for me
11.) Had you been to a real party? I partied more when I was 15 than I do now, haha.
12.) Had You had your heart broken? When I was 15, it felt like everytime I fought with a guy, or Alex to be more specific, my heart was breaking.
13.)Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Taken
-------------3 years ago----------
1.) How old were you?: 18
2.) Where did you go to school? I had JUST graduated James Fowler and I was starting at Chinook College
3.) Where did you work? The Brick (worst job ever)
4.) Where did you live? Monterey Park (calgary)
5.) Where did you hang out? I had just turned 18, so I was at the bars and clubs A LOT. 3 or 4 times a week, it was bad.
6.) Did you wear glasses? Glasses
7.) Who was your best friend? Nikki
9.) How many tattoos did you have? ZEROOO
10.) How many piercings did you have? 7
11) What car did you drive? No vroom vroom for me.
12) Had your heart broken? Meh, not really.
13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Taken
--------------------Today--------------------
1.) How old are you?: 21
2.) Where do you go to school? No where.
3.) Where do you work? At the airport.
4.) Where do you live? Calgary, new community.
5.) Where do you hang out? It depends. I don't really "hang out" these days.
7.) Who was your childhood best bud and still is your buddy? Nikki, Sarah.
9.) How many tattoos do you have? ONE.
10.) How many piercings do you have? TEN.
11) What car do you drive? I OWN a Plymouth Sundance but I have no license aha.
12) Had your heart broken? Kinda...ish.
13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Single.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
1 MINUTE AGO: Talking in chatzy and sighing.
1 HOUR AGO: Smoking, talking in chatzy... going mental.
1 DAY AGO: Cleaning my room, getting ready to watch the hockey game.
1 YEAR AGO: I WAS IN DISNEYLAND!
First piercing: Ears - when I was just a wee one.
First credit card: Visa
Last car ride: With my mother, 5 hours ago.
Last movie seen in theaters: The Hangover <3 Love that movie.
Last food consumed: Bagel... I feel hungry again.
Last person you texted: Ummm, fml.
Last drink drank: Watah
SHORT ANSWER.
I AM: annoyed
I HAVE: dreams
I LIKE: traveling...and boys.
I WISH: for money
FAVORITES..
NUMBER: 16, 24
COLOUR: purple, grey
DAY(S): Friday
MONTH(S): May, June.
SEASON: Spring
DRINK: lots.
IN THE LAST 2 DAYS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? yupp.
HELPED SOMEONE? Yeeeaaa.
GOTTEN SICK? Negative.
GONE TO THE MOVIES?: Nope.
SAID 'I love you'? Yep.
TALKED TO AN EX? Yea..ish.
WRITTEN IN A DIARY?: This is my diary, kinda.
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? Yea =(
_______ Best ________
1. Male Friend: boys...that are friends? No best guy friends, just lots of good guys friends!
2. Female Friend: Nikki... Megan & Sam too, I guess. They live kind of far.
3. Best Age: 21...the age I am RIGHT NOW!
4. Best Memory: Ahhhh, so many <3 mu.
_______ Worst ________
1. Time Of Day: First thing in the morning.
2. Day Of The Week: Tuesday.
3. Food: Seafood, sick...haggis (i just threw up)
4. Memory: I try and block those out. Probably haloween, when I was 15. Cunt.
_______ Last ________
1. Person you saw: Nikki.
2. Phone call: Alex.
_______ First ________
1. b/f or g/f: Oooo, Jesse? I'm pretty sure I dated some guy in elementary named Will for a day, but I can't be sure.
2. Job: Calgary round up center. Trying to sell pressurized wine openers... WTF?
_______ Today ________
1. What are you doing now: Working, going insane.
2. Tonight: I work till 11. I may go see a friends band play if I'm up for it, but I'm guessing I'll be too tired/lazy/bitchy to do much of anything.
3. Wearing: Jeans, flats, grey tee, blue volcom hoodie.
4. What did you eat for lunch: Bagel
_______ Tomorrow ________
1. Is: Sunday.
2. Got any plans: I need to go to the mall. Then Reanna's.. then we'll see.
3. Goal: My goal for tomorrow is to wake up before 11... and be productive.
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: it's still quite far away. =(
5. Likes about tomorrow: It's the weekend!
And another!
1. Are you currently mad at someone? Annoyed, not mad.
2. Which family member has the worst temper? My father and brother.
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone's face? Hahah, YES.
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry? Yea, it's because I cry when I'm mad.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell? I yell and cry, it's wonderful
EXCITEMENT
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you? No =[
3. Which of your friends is most excitable? Nikki... for certain occasions only.
4. If you could have anything right now, what would it be? A plane ticket, or money to buy a plane ticket. I'm not asking for a lot.
YOU
1. Name: Jessica Nicole
2. Where were you born? Calgary, Canada
3. What's your main goal in life? Find out what life has to offer. BE HAPPY.
4. Do you want to have children? Of course.
5. How do you want to die? In my sleep, peacefully.
LOVE
1. Do you have a crush? Cam Gigandet, obviously.
2. Who is the best hugger that you know? Myself... for real!
3. Do you believe in love at first sight? Never. Lust, it's all about lust.
LAST
1. Person you saw not in your family? Nikki.
2. Person you hugged? Alex.
3. Shared a bed with someone? Alex.
4. Movie/Tv Show watched? CSI: NY
5. Time you cryed? Yesterday.
6. Song you listened to? Let My Love Open The Door
IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU
1. Bought something? Yep, too many things.
2. Gotten sick? Nope.
3. Been hugged? Yes <3 *feels warm and fuzzy*
4. Felt stupid? OMFG, YES! "Thanks"
5. Missed someone? Definitely.
6. Failed a test? Nope.
7. Danced? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! <3
HAVE YOU EVER
1. Said "I Love you"? All the time.
2. Given money to a homeless person? Yep.
3. Smoked? Yes...
4. Waited all night for a phone call? Unfortunately.
5. Snuck out? When I was like... YOUNG.
6. Sat and looked at the stars? YES <3
7. Slept in a bed with the opposite sex? Yep! =)
8. Hooked up in the woods? Yep...haha
9. Spent more than $200 in one day on shopping? Yes!
10. Hooked up in the shower? Yep. lol.
11. Been dumped? Again...yes.
12. Stolen money from a friend? Nope. I just say "I'm taking money from your wallet." And they nod.
13. Slept naked? Every night of my life.
16. Seen someone die? No. Thank goodness.
17. Been on an airplane? Yes, way too much.
18. Slept all day? No. Stayed in bed all day, but not sleeping.
19. Missed someone so much it hurt? Yes, ugh.
20. Fallen asleep during school? Hahahahaha. yes... so fucking embaressing.
21. Been lonely? Yes =( *sigh*
22. Cheated in a game? Probably.
23. Been to the ER? Yea.
24. Been in a car accident? Not any type of accident you could really classify as a car accident, if that makes sense???
Maybe I've Developed A Complex?
I'm annoyed.
And I really like this quote...
God doesn't give you the people you want.
God gives you the people you need,
To help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you.
And make you into the person you were meant to be.
... except maybe right now, the people I have in my life are people that I want and not people that I need. Does that make me sound bitchy?
And I really like this quote...
God doesn't give you the people you want.
God gives you the people you need,
To help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you.
And make you into the person you were meant to be.
... except maybe right now, the people I have in my life are people that I want and not people that I need. Does that make me sound bitchy?
I've got a smile on my face, and I've got four walls around me
Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? This is an AWKWARD question. I'm going to answer no, but you never know haha.
When you're walking, do you stop to drink? No, I multitask! Step, step, drink, step, step, drink. Works out well.
Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it? OF COURSE! If your passionate and goal oriented, anything is possible. Of course, there are always exceptions (like if you're 6 feet tall and you want to be 5ft...impossible)
Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle? Yes, who hasn't?
Ever snuck out of your house? Like, once. My parents were pretty open and understanding, there was no sneaking involved.
Kill or Be killed? If the circumstances call for it, kill. It might sound bad, but I like life atm, and if someone is trying to kill me, you best believe that I'll fight back.
Break someone’s heart or have your heart broken? It's too hard for me to break hearts so I think I'd rather have my heart broken... actually, I dunno... damn this question =(
What did you do today? Woke up, showered, went to work, what else is new?
Do you like someone right this second? No, not particularly.
Would you ever get a tattoo? I already have one, on my foot. I want another one.
What was the last thing you ate? Bagel with lettuce and cheese.
Are you a morning person or a night person? Both. I'm one of those people who can stay up till 5am and wake up at 9am, refreshed and ready to go!
Do you snore? When I am sick, yep!
Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion? Indeed... ugh.
What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body? I'd be in shock... I'd either scream or be stunned silent. Then, I'd collect myself and call the police...no, that's a lie, I'd probably call my mother first and swear a bit.
Do you like to spend time with people? Depends on what people we're talking about. Generally yes! People like Sam, Megan, Nikki, etc... definitely! Other people, who are cunts...no.
Are you hungry? No, I just had a bagel.
Are you a forgiving person? Yes, although I forgive on my own time. First, I do hold a grudge. I know it's a bad quality, but it happens.
When was the last time you did the dishes? When my parents went to Las Vegas in March... GROSS!
Are you talking to anyone while doing this? Yep, Sam, Autumn, Meesh
Do you want a relationship right now? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, can I make that anymore clear... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I want to be single and young!
What are you about to do? Smoke... I'm bored.
Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't? I've had bad feelings about someone... like the feeling that they were in trouble or something, but I didn't actually think they were dead.
If you could be a superhero what would you want to do? Fly, withouth a doubt. I could go anywhere!
Your name plus "ness"? Jessicaness - Lame question.
Three feelings at the moment?
-Bored
-Annoyed
-Antsy
Done anything you regret so far in life? Everyone has regrets. I just look at them as lessons, and move on.
Are you listening to anything? I Got A Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
Where are you right now? Work - airport
What are you scared of? Getting old, collar bones, death, not experiencing life.
Last movie you watched? He's Just Not The Into You. I <3 Justin Long.
Last song you sang out loud? A Great Blue Sea song... "And I say way, hey, hey, it's just an ordinary day, and it's all your state of mind."
Are you thinking of someone right now? There are ALWAYS people on my mind.
Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Alex
Last thing you downloaded on your computer? A picture maybe? I forget.
Have you changed much this year? Yea, I'm such a nerd, I fail at life.
Where was the last place you went besides where you are? To the store, when I walked my dog.
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No, not that I know of.
Do you speak any other language? Jessicanese, apparently.
Do you dress for style or comfort? Comfort for the most part, style if I'm going to the club.
Ever had a drunken night in Mexico? Never been to Mexico. Drunken nights have ensued elsewhere though.
What's the craziest thing you've done? Leave my best friend in Las Vegas, Skinny dipped and swam across a river at 3am. Got into a vehicle with a guy I had never met when I was 15, drank a 26 of rum, did mushrooms, this list could continue forever... and I make myself sound like a drunken slut who likes drugs, when in reality, I was just an extremely fucked up individual when I was younger.
Favorite color(s)? Purple... obviously. Grey is cool too.
What is your favorite Nickelback song? Animals! SO GOOD!
What are you looking forward to this summer? Stampede, Washington... TwiCon, I guess.
Last time you smiled? Like 30 minutes ago.
If you could choose any fate what would you choose? Uhhh, tough question. I want my fate to be something I've always dreamed of. Something that is greater than I could have ever expected.
If you could have anything in the world, what would you want? I would want to wake up one the other side of the world with no knowing or understanding of what the day holds.
When you're walking, do you stop to drink? No, I multitask! Step, step, drink, step, step, drink. Works out well.
Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it? OF COURSE! If your passionate and goal oriented, anything is possible. Of course, there are always exceptions (like if you're 6 feet tall and you want to be 5ft...impossible)
Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle? Yes, who hasn't?
Ever snuck out of your house? Like, once. My parents were pretty open and understanding, there was no sneaking involved.
Kill or Be killed? If the circumstances call for it, kill. It might sound bad, but I like life atm, and if someone is trying to kill me, you best believe that I'll fight back.
Break someone’s heart or have your heart broken? It's too hard for me to break hearts so I think I'd rather have my heart broken... actually, I dunno... damn this question =(
What did you do today? Woke up, showered, went to work, what else is new?
Do you like someone right this second? No, not particularly.
Would you ever get a tattoo? I already have one, on my foot. I want another one.
What was the last thing you ate? Bagel with lettuce and cheese.
Are you a morning person or a night person? Both. I'm one of those people who can stay up till 5am and wake up at 9am, refreshed and ready to go!
Do you snore? When I am sick, yep!
Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion? Indeed... ugh.
What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body? I'd be in shock... I'd either scream or be stunned silent. Then, I'd collect myself and call the police...no, that's a lie, I'd probably call my mother first and swear a bit.
Do you like to spend time with people? Depends on what people we're talking about. Generally yes! People like Sam, Megan, Nikki, etc... definitely! Other people, who are cunts...no.
Are you hungry? No, I just had a bagel.
Are you a forgiving person? Yes, although I forgive on my own time. First, I do hold a grudge. I know it's a bad quality, but it happens.
When was the last time you did the dishes? When my parents went to Las Vegas in March... GROSS!
Are you talking to anyone while doing this? Yep, Sam, Autumn, Meesh
Do you want a relationship right now? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, can I make that anymore clear... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I want to be single and young!
What are you about to do? Smoke... I'm bored.
Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't? I've had bad feelings about someone... like the feeling that they were in trouble or something, but I didn't actually think they were dead.
If you could be a superhero what would you want to do? Fly, withouth a doubt. I could go anywhere!
Your name plus "ness"? Jessicaness - Lame question.
Three feelings at the moment?
-Bored
-Annoyed
-Antsy
Done anything you regret so far in life? Everyone has regrets. I just look at them as lessons, and move on.
Are you listening to anything? I Got A Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
Where are you right now? Work - airport
What are you scared of? Getting old, collar bones, death, not experiencing life.
Last movie you watched? He's Just Not The Into You. I <3 Justin Long.
Last song you sang out loud? A Great Blue Sea song... "And I say way, hey, hey, it's just an ordinary day, and it's all your state of mind."
Are you thinking of someone right now? There are ALWAYS people on my mind.
Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Alex
Last thing you downloaded on your computer? A picture maybe? I forget.
Have you changed much this year? Yea, I'm such a nerd, I fail at life.
Where was the last place you went besides where you are? To the store, when I walked my dog.
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No, not that I know of.
Do you speak any other language? Jessicanese, apparently.
Do you dress for style or comfort? Comfort for the most part, style if I'm going to the club.
Ever had a drunken night in Mexico? Never been to Mexico. Drunken nights have ensued elsewhere though.
What's the craziest thing you've done? Leave my best friend in Las Vegas, Skinny dipped and swam across a river at 3am. Got into a vehicle with a guy I had never met when I was 15, drank a 26 of rum, did mushrooms, this list could continue forever... and I make myself sound like a drunken slut who likes drugs, when in reality, I was just an extremely fucked up individual when I was younger.
Favorite color(s)? Purple... obviously. Grey is cool too.
What is your favorite Nickelback song? Animals! SO GOOD!
What are you looking forward to this summer? Stampede, Washington... TwiCon, I guess.
Last time you smiled? Like 30 minutes ago.
If you could choose any fate what would you choose? Uhhh, tough question. I want my fate to be something I've always dreamed of. Something that is greater than I could have ever expected.
If you could have anything in the world, what would you want? I would want to wake up one the other side of the world with no knowing or understanding of what the day holds.
It Figures
1. What was the highlight of your week? Getting Taz back!
2. Whose car were you in last? My mom's
3. When is the next time you will kiss someone? Probably not for the rest of my life... I'm so bitter haha. Umm, I really couldn't tell ya.
4. What color shirt are you wearing? Grey, it's splendid
5. How long is your hair? It dosen't quite reach the middle of my back, but it's still fairly long.
6. Are you good looking? Why oh why do people put questions like this on these surveys. To me, this question is pointless. I perceive myself as good looking on certain days and then other days, when I'm feeling all out of sorts, I'm not so good looking. it seems more appropriate to asking OTHER people this question.
7. Last movie you watched? He's Just Not That Into You!
Gigi: I'm the exception
Alex: You are *my* exception
8. Who were you with? Nikki, obvss
9. Last thing you ate? A bun.
10. Last thing you drank? Watah
11. When was the last time you had your heart broken? *sigh*
12. Who came over last? Nikki
13. Are you happy right now? No, AirCanada is a piece of shit, my job is a piece of shit, etc, etc.
14. What did you say last? "Fuck that, I don't want to hear about historic tales of the mountains."
15. Where is your phone? At home...chillin'
16. What color are your eyes? poop
17. Are you left-handed? No, but oddly enough, my left side is entirely stronger than my right side... weird
18. Spell your name without vowels: Jssc Ncl Mllr
19. Do you have any pets? TAZERONIBOLOGNABOOBOOHOOVER! I'm totally kidding, her name is Taz!
20. Favorite Vacation? LAS VEGASSSSSSS! Ummm, vacations are always wonderful and there are different aspects with each one that your favour.
21. What do you dislike currently? AirCanada, my job, my messy room
22. What are you listening to? "My Sweet Song" P.S. I Love You soundtrack
23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be? A plane ticket to UK.
24. What is your favorite scent? When you hug a guy and there is that "clean laundry" scent mixed with just a small hint of cologne... OH MAN!
25. Who makes you happiest? Traveling, my friends, making fun of ER/PE... is that bad?
26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Laying in bed, watching TV
27. When is your birthday? May 24th 1988
28. Who has the same phone as you? Lots of people, it's the iPhone...
29. Last time you went swimming in a pool? Ummm, YEARS ago.
30. Do you read your horoscope? Occasionally. I like the horoscope on facebook, always interesting and accurate
31. Where was the last place you bought something? 5cent candies - 7Eleven... I'm so classy.
32. How do you feel about your hair right now? Ummm, piece of shit needs to be dyed and straightened!
33. Do you bite your nails? When I'm nervous or completely bored, yes.
34. Do you have any expensive jewelery? Yep, a few rings, necklaces and a couple earrings, bracelets
35. Most influential people in your life right now? Megan, Sam, Nikki, Mother
36. Myspace or facebook? FACEBOOK ftw, bitches.
37. How fast have you driven a car? Ummm 100KM/hr...
38. Have you ever smoked? Yep.
39. What was or is your favorite subject in school? Drama/Choir overall. English/Social as far as core subjects.
40. Do you have Verizon? I believe this is an american question, and last time I checked, I'm canadian.
41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for? Always the ones that are NO GOOD for me.
42. Do you have any hidden talents? No, none. I suck.
43. Favorite Song? Are you kidding me? This is a question I can't answer.
44. Do you like to sing at all? OF COURSE! I love it.
45. Dream Job? At this point in my life, working as a tour guide for Contiki!
46. Where does most of your family live? Calgary
47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? 1 brother, age 19.
48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? Definitely, my parents love me. Not in the "here's 500 bucks, go shopping" sense, but in the sense that they give me rides, let me have friends over, do my laundry, etc, etc.
49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up? Do I have enough time to straighten my hair? (I didn't btw)
50. Do you drink? Like a sailor.
51. Know any other languages? Hola! Bonjour!
52. Ever write a coded message? YES! Ask Megan, I'm so skillllled!
53. Have you ever been IN a wedding? No, assholes.
54. Do you have any children? Hehehe, umm no.
55. Did you take a nap today? No napping on the job!
56. Who has the same birthday as you? The Queen.
57. Ever met anyone famous before? A couple people.
58. Do you want to be famous one day? Of course!
59. Any Pet Peeves?
-When people make plans with you and don't follow through.
-False promises
-When people write with pencils
-When people touch styrofoam
-One word answers
-When people stretch the truth
-When one person saves spots in line or in movie theatres for like...a part of 10
-OME (kill me now)
-Pocket Edward (if I could burn every PE in existance, I would)
-Bandwagon jumpers
-Thinking you're original (originality is conformity, idiots)
60. Are you multitasking right now? Yea, chatzy, blogging and people watching, interesting life I lead.
61. Do you like Britany Spears? I'm not gonna lie, I jam out with my clam out when she's on the radio... "ALL OF THE BOYS AND ALL OF THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO IF YOU SEEK AMY." Brilliant!
62. What is your least favorite chore? Wiping the dinner table, doing dishes or loading the dishwasher. I have a phobia of dirty dishes/half eaten food. I can't handle it... I vomit and gag every time.
63. Last place you drove your car? I own a car, that I've never drove, go figure.
64. Ever been out of the country? Yea, last month! Vegas babyyyyy!
65. Where were you born? General hospital (bitches blew it up), Calgary, Canada
66. Could you handle being in the military? NO, I would die on the first day.
67. What is your average cell phone bill? I'm going to pretend this question doesn't exist.
68. Who are you thinking about right now? I fucking hate wingtips staff, stop annoying me, I don't deal with delayed baggage. UGH, ASSHOLES.
69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard? Yesterday... umm have you SEEN that Ellen clip.
70. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I'm gonna go with 35-50.
71. Are your toes always painted? No, they're always painted and chipped. Like I've already stated, I'm classy.
72. How many piercings do you have? 10.
73. What are you doing today? Working, 12 hours.
74. Have you ever been gambling? I was in Vegas last month, I won 14 dollars... HEY BIG SPENDER!
75. When is the last time you updated your page? What page, this page? Megan made that wonderful banner for me last week! We'll be coming, we'll be coming, we'll be cominggggg down the road.
76. Do you like rollercoasters? YES!
77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world? Disneyland, the happiest place on earth!
78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? Ummm... Belle, Simba, Abu, Flounder... all the classics.
79. Last thing you cooked? Fajita's with Alex, I'm hungry.
80. How's the weather? WONDERFUL!
81. Do you e-mail? Unfortunately.
82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? FUCK CELL PHONE QUESTIONS. Piece of shit.
83. Last time you were sick? Beginning of May, I think?
84. What states have you lived in? I AM CANADIAN. I cannot own a gun.
85. Do you wish you could move? Yep, I want to be anywhere but here... or Saskatchewan.
86. What are you most looking forward to? Forks, buying my plane ticket to the UK so that I KNOW that I'm going.
87. What is your dream car? Ummm, VW Beetle... or a Toyota Celica. I know, I'm not very fancy.
88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have? Yep, it sucks.
89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be? The UK, Vegas, California, Italy, you name it, I want to be there!
90. Are you happy with your life? I am... content. I don't accept it, but I can't say that it's awful in any way shape or form.
2. Whose car were you in last? My mom's
3. When is the next time you will kiss someone? Probably not for the rest of my life... I'm so bitter haha. Umm, I really couldn't tell ya.
4. What color shirt are you wearing? Grey, it's splendid
5. How long is your hair? It dosen't quite reach the middle of my back, but it's still fairly long.
6. Are you good looking? Why oh why do people put questions like this on these surveys. To me, this question is pointless. I perceive myself as good looking on certain days and then other days, when I'm feeling all out of sorts, I'm not so good looking. it seems more appropriate to asking OTHER people this question.
7. Last movie you watched? He's Just Not That Into You!
Gigi: I'm the exception
Alex: You are *my* exception
8. Who were you with? Nikki, obvss
9. Last thing you ate? A bun.
10. Last thing you drank? Watah
11. When was the last time you had your heart broken? *sigh*
12. Who came over last? Nikki
13. Are you happy right now? No, AirCanada is a piece of shit, my job is a piece of shit, etc, etc.
14. What did you say last? "Fuck that, I don't want to hear about historic tales of the mountains."
15. Where is your phone? At home...chillin'
16. What color are your eyes? poop
17. Are you left-handed? No, but oddly enough, my left side is entirely stronger than my right side... weird
18. Spell your name without vowels: Jssc Ncl Mllr
19. Do you have any pets? TAZERONIBOLOGNABOOBOOHOOVER! I'm totally kidding, her name is Taz!
20. Favorite Vacation? LAS VEGASSSSSSS! Ummm, vacations are always wonderful and there are different aspects with each one that your favour.
21. What do you dislike currently? AirCanada, my job, my messy room
22. What are you listening to? "My Sweet Song" P.S. I Love You soundtrack
23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be? A plane ticket to UK.
24. What is your favorite scent? When you hug a guy and there is that "clean laundry" scent mixed with just a small hint of cologne... OH MAN!
25. Who makes you happiest? Traveling, my friends, making fun of ER/PE... is that bad?
26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Laying in bed, watching TV
27. When is your birthday? May 24th 1988
28. Who has the same phone as you? Lots of people, it's the iPhone...
29. Last time you went swimming in a pool? Ummm, YEARS ago.
30. Do you read your horoscope? Occasionally. I like the horoscope on facebook, always interesting and accurate
31. Where was the last place you bought something? 5cent candies - 7Eleven... I'm so classy.
32. How do you feel about your hair right now? Ummm, piece of shit needs to be dyed and straightened!
33. Do you bite your nails? When I'm nervous or completely bored, yes.
34. Do you have any expensive jewelery? Yep, a few rings, necklaces and a couple earrings, bracelets
35. Most influential people in your life right now? Megan, Sam, Nikki, Mother
36. Myspace or facebook? FACEBOOK ftw, bitches.
37. How fast have you driven a car? Ummm 100KM/hr...
38. Have you ever smoked? Yep.
39. What was or is your favorite subject in school? Drama/Choir overall. English/Social as far as core subjects.
40. Do you have Verizon? I believe this is an american question, and last time I checked, I'm canadian.
41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for? Always the ones that are NO GOOD for me.
42. Do you have any hidden talents? No, none. I suck.
43. Favorite Song? Are you kidding me? This is a question I can't answer.
44. Do you like to sing at all? OF COURSE! I love it.
45. Dream Job? At this point in my life, working as a tour guide for Contiki!
46. Where does most of your family live? Calgary
47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? 1 brother, age 19.
48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? Definitely, my parents love me. Not in the "here's 500 bucks, go shopping" sense, but in the sense that they give me rides, let me have friends over, do my laundry, etc, etc.
49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up? Do I have enough time to straighten my hair? (I didn't btw)
50. Do you drink? Like a sailor.
51. Know any other languages? Hola! Bonjour!
52. Ever write a coded message? YES! Ask Megan, I'm so skillllled!
53. Have you ever been IN a wedding? No, assholes.
54. Do you have any children? Hehehe, umm no.
55. Did you take a nap today? No napping on the job!
56. Who has the same birthday as you? The Queen.
57. Ever met anyone famous before? A couple people.
58. Do you want to be famous one day? Of course!
59. Any Pet Peeves?
-When people make plans with you and don't follow through.
-False promises
-When people write with pencils
-When people touch styrofoam
-One word answers
-When people stretch the truth
-When one person saves spots in line or in movie theatres for like...a part of 10
-OME (kill me now)
-Pocket Edward (if I could burn every PE in existance, I would)
-Bandwagon jumpers
-Thinking you're original (originality is conformity, idiots)
60. Are you multitasking right now? Yea, chatzy, blogging and people watching, interesting life I lead.
61. Do you like Britany Spears? I'm not gonna lie, I jam out with my clam out when she's on the radio... "ALL OF THE BOYS AND ALL OF THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO IF YOU SEEK AMY." Brilliant!
62. What is your least favorite chore? Wiping the dinner table, doing dishes or loading the dishwasher. I have a phobia of dirty dishes/half eaten food. I can't handle it... I vomit and gag every time.
63. Last place you drove your car? I own a car, that I've never drove, go figure.
64. Ever been out of the country? Yea, last month! Vegas babyyyyy!
65. Where were you born? General hospital (bitches blew it up), Calgary, Canada
66. Could you handle being in the military? NO, I would die on the first day.
67. What is your average cell phone bill? I'm going to pretend this question doesn't exist.
68. Who are you thinking about right now? I fucking hate wingtips staff, stop annoying me, I don't deal with delayed baggage. UGH, ASSHOLES.
69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard? Yesterday... umm have you SEEN that Ellen clip.
70. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I'm gonna go with 35-50.
71. Are your toes always painted? No, they're always painted and chipped. Like I've already stated, I'm classy.
72. How many piercings do you have? 10.
73. What are you doing today? Working, 12 hours.
74. Have you ever been gambling? I was in Vegas last month, I won 14 dollars... HEY BIG SPENDER!
75. When is the last time you updated your page? What page, this page? Megan made that wonderful banner for me last week! We'll be coming, we'll be coming, we'll be cominggggg down the road.
76. Do you like rollercoasters? YES!
77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world? Disneyland, the happiest place on earth!
78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? Ummm... Belle, Simba, Abu, Flounder... all the classics.
79. Last thing you cooked? Fajita's with Alex, I'm hungry.
80. How's the weather? WONDERFUL!
81. Do you e-mail? Unfortunately.
82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? FUCK CELL PHONE QUESTIONS. Piece of shit.
83. Last time you were sick? Beginning of May, I think?
84. What states have you lived in? I AM CANADIAN. I cannot own a gun.
85. Do you wish you could move? Yep, I want to be anywhere but here... or Saskatchewan.
86. What are you most looking forward to? Forks, buying my plane ticket to the UK so that I KNOW that I'm going.
87. What is your dream car? Ummm, VW Beetle... or a Toyota Celica. I know, I'm not very fancy.
88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have? Yep, it sucks.
89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be? The UK, Vegas, California, Italy, you name it, I want to be there!
90. Are you happy with your life? I am... content. I don't accept it, but I can't say that it's awful in any way shape or form.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Nothing Is Forever
Absolute.
Absolutely powerful...is that word up there. Indeed.
Every single day (and I'm not over stating on this one)... but EVERY single day, I find myself singing along to the song "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers. Specifically, the line "there's got to be something better than in middle." No joke, I sing it over and over and over again. Then sometimes I stop and reflect on what that means. Usually I just keep singing though :P haha. But in all honesty, it's become more than a line in a song to me. It has become a statement. It's pretty true to my life if I do say so. I'm definitely in the middle. My life is good, it's damn good, it could ALWAYS be worse. But at the same time, there has got to be something better than this routine that I repeat EVERYDAY. My life is monotone. It's making me more and more apathetic with each passing day and I hate it. I don't need to be great, or rewrite the constitution or anything. I'm not ambitious enough to land on the moon or win a Pulitzer, but I just want to change small things that will make my life that much better... So I've compiled a list:
Things that make my life more than "in the middle" that I MUST do:
-Clean my room (I know you're saying wtf, but my 'aura' per se is so much better when my room is clean and I don't have clothes everywhere)
-Exercise (excercising just makes me feel accomplished, I love it)
-Volunteer (You have no idea what the Kids Help Phone did for me)
-Reinvent myself (I know that is part of everything overall, but I'm talking about overcoming my fear to try simple new things. ie - take an art class *mortifying*)
-find my own inner peace (I think once I accept that I'm content with who I am, what I've accomplished and where my life is going, then things can only go uphill)
-Go to school (This is so important to me and the classes that I took just aren't enough to put me where I want to be. I want a mofuggin DEGREE)
-Travel (this is why I'm not going to school...)
-There is more... must. keep. thinking.
I think maybe I'm scared of getting old, because I just want to do everything NOW. Some people live with the saying "there's always tomorrow." NO, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS, there is not always tomorrow. I don't think those people have ever experienced tragedy or death, or living in the now. I think they live with a naievety that I can't even begin to comprehend. For some, there is no tomorrow. Why do people need life altering events to motivate themselves. Why do we need to be diagnosed with cancer, or wait till we win the lottery? Whenever I say shit like this, I always refer back to the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying."
"And he said someday I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dying."
Anyways, this blog is just here to remind me (since I'm feeling really pessimistic tonight) to DO WHAT I WANT TO DO! Because the truth is, I don't feel like my room is going to get clean, or that I'm going to write chapter 2, or pay off my credit card, or even go to the UK. And that is NOT what I want. By this time next year I want to say "holy fuck, I have had the most eye opening year of my entire life." I want to strive to be everything I can be and do everything I want to do. I want to overcome the obstacles that are put before me.
I'm going to end with the lyrics and video to "One Headlight." Listen and love...
One Headlight
So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees
I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place
Chorus:
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight
She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge
(chorus)
Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me
Absolutely powerful...is that word up there. Indeed.
Every single day (and I'm not over stating on this one)... but EVERY single day, I find myself singing along to the song "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers. Specifically, the line "there's got to be something better than in middle." No joke, I sing it over and over and over again. Then sometimes I stop and reflect on what that means. Usually I just keep singing though :P haha. But in all honesty, it's become more than a line in a song to me. It has become a statement. It's pretty true to my life if I do say so. I'm definitely in the middle. My life is good, it's damn good, it could ALWAYS be worse. But at the same time, there has got to be something better than this routine that I repeat EVERYDAY. My life is monotone. It's making me more and more apathetic with each passing day and I hate it. I don't need to be great, or rewrite the constitution or anything. I'm not ambitious enough to land on the moon or win a Pulitzer, but I just want to change small things that will make my life that much better... So I've compiled a list:
Things that make my life more than "in the middle" that I MUST do:
-Clean my room (I know you're saying wtf, but my 'aura' per se is so much better when my room is clean and I don't have clothes everywhere)
-Exercise (excercising just makes me feel accomplished, I love it)
-Volunteer (You have no idea what the Kids Help Phone did for me)
-Reinvent myself (I know that is part of everything overall, but I'm talking about overcoming my fear to try simple new things. ie - take an art class *mortifying*)
-find my own inner peace (I think once I accept that I'm content with who I am, what I've accomplished and where my life is going, then things can only go uphill)
-Go to school (This is so important to me and the classes that I took just aren't enough to put me where I want to be. I want a mofuggin DEGREE)
-Travel (this is why I'm not going to school...)
-There is more... must. keep. thinking.
I think maybe I'm scared of getting old, because I just want to do everything NOW. Some people live with the saying "there's always tomorrow." NO, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS, there is not always tomorrow. I don't think those people have ever experienced tragedy or death, or living in the now. I think they live with a naievety that I can't even begin to comprehend. For some, there is no tomorrow. Why do people need life altering events to motivate themselves. Why do we need to be diagnosed with cancer, or wait till we win the lottery? Whenever I say shit like this, I always refer back to the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying."
"And he said someday I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dying."
Anyways, this blog is just here to remind me (since I'm feeling really pessimistic tonight) to DO WHAT I WANT TO DO! Because the truth is, I don't feel like my room is going to get clean, or that I'm going to write chapter 2, or pay off my credit card, or even go to the UK. And that is NOT what I want. By this time next year I want to say "holy fuck, I have had the most eye opening year of my entire life." I want to strive to be everything I can be and do everything I want to do. I want to overcome the obstacles that are put before me.
I'm going to end with the lyrics and video to "One Headlight." Listen and love...
One Headlight
So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees
I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place
Chorus:
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight
She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge
(chorus)
Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me
Are You Thinking of Me When You Fuck Her?
I'm posting a few of the lyrics to Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know" because:
a) it was playing on the radio today and I forgot how much I enjoyed this song
b) the anger in this song is absolutely beautiful and heart wrenching. The lines "Does she know how you told me you'd hold me, Until you died, til you died. But you're still alive"... umm POWERFUL.
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive
'cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
btw: this song has NOTHING to do with my current relationship status or life status for that matter. I am a happy individual with no hatred for any boys! =)
a) it was playing on the radio today and I forgot how much I enjoyed this song
b) the anger in this song is absolutely beautiful and heart wrenching. The lines "Does she know how you told me you'd hold me, Until you died, til you died. But you're still alive"... umm POWERFUL.
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive
'cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
btw: this song has NOTHING to do with my current relationship status or life status for that matter. I am a happy individual with no hatred for any boys! =)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A Vial of Hope & A Vial of Pain
I can't believe how much some people fucking annoy me.
Yes, that is indeed how I am starting off this post... it's going to be a rant but then again, what is blogging good for if not ranting? So yea, people piss me off. And the thing is, and I'm sure lots of people can relate, it's ALWAYS the people you were once close to or had the huge potential to be close to, that drive you mental. I can honestly say that some of the people that annoy me the most in the world are the people I once talked to. WHY IS THIS? Why is it that all of their bad qualities hang out AFTER the fact? Did we fully know the type of person they were and just ignore their bad qualities, or were we all so obsessed in thinking that maybe we've established a normal friendship with someone who we have a lot in common with that isn't fucking stupid? I don't think I'll ever know the answer to this question but if anyone does, please share!
I JUST WANT TO SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS..."ER FAIL ER FAIL ER FAIL ER FAIL...TAKEYOURPEANDSHOVEITUPYOURERFAIL!"
I also want to shout from the rooftops... "fuck you hoe, you got UGLY, take your Brazilian boyfriend and run into a wall repeatedly."
While were at it... "WOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOW...WOW YOU ARE A lowlowlowlow for fucking me over, but it's whatevs."
I guess I'll continue with... "I want to push you and your saggy boo bees into a fast moving train!"
*sigh* I feel much better now that I've expressed some choice words to the people who have recently crossed my mind! Oh! I almost forgot akifhy...kthx
WOW, this post is so full of hate, it's kind of fun... actually, hate is a strong word and I'm trying my hardest not to use it but I can't help it.
ON TO fun times! I have peed like 22 times today...and no, I'm not pregnant, but some higher being out there is hatin' on me. Bitches. FUCK, I am gangster today. I'm going to read this blog post one day and call myself a fucked up individual... no shame.
Ummm... so yea, is it just me, or does anyone else feel like they're 13 again? Seriously, I'm like "omfg bbg, did you see that guy..umm HOT!" Every two seconds, my brain resorts to boys... err.. men, guys? LADS!!! It's ridiculous, I think I need to be spade and neutered. It has been like.. 6 years since I've given any indication to the opposite sex, so I don't know if my obsession is healthy or somewhat questionable...hmmm *ponders*
Bitches be addin' me on skype that I don't know... STOP IT...
Also, TwiCon craziness needs to fucking end NOW! Maybe it's because I have so much other shit going on in my life, but I just don't see the need to go mental... Yes, I'm excited as shit, but it's not worth being "upset" and "pissed off." I'm just letting the cards fall where they may. If they want 40 bucks from me for a photo with the cast member, while either I'm going to hand the money over and be merry, orrrrrr, not pay the money and deal!
Sam saw a spidurrrr, a motherfucking TARANTULA to be exact...and no, not through a glass wall, it was just chillin' in front of her... crazy, WHY oh WHY am I going to Texas... snakes and spiders, that is so not my forte. I need snow, polar bears and poutine. =( I asked Sam if she ate the spider legs after she told me that they squished it with a broom...first of all... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SQUISH A TARANTULA WITH A BROOM???? Riddle me that.
I love Scotland but WHO THE FUCK INVENTED HAGGIS? I'm not going to judge...no wait, I am, I can't help it...okay, I'm not going to judge HARSHLY, but when I googled that shit, I did NOT like what I saw.
I'm going to end this on a good note since I don't think any of this blog was good and now it's time for me to pack up and go home!
I like the fact that the people that I've met through TwiCon, the ones who I make an effort to speak to, the ones that I call my FRIENDS, are people that I know will always be part of my life. They're not my "bestie" (please, that shit is fucking lame), they're not my internet friends or my "crew." They're the people that don't need titles, that don't need reassurance. They know who they are and where they stand with me. We don't need labels and repetitive LOLZ to have things to talk about.
I FUCKING LOVE THEM. endofstory
Yes, that is indeed how I am starting off this post... it's going to be a rant but then again, what is blogging good for if not ranting? So yea, people piss me off. And the thing is, and I'm sure lots of people can relate, it's ALWAYS the people you were once close to or had the huge potential to be close to, that drive you mental. I can honestly say that some of the people that annoy me the most in the world are the people I once talked to. WHY IS THIS? Why is it that all of their bad qualities hang out AFTER the fact? Did we fully know the type of person they were and just ignore their bad qualities, or were we all so obsessed in thinking that maybe we've established a normal friendship with someone who we have a lot in common with that isn't fucking stupid? I don't think I'll ever know the answer to this question but if anyone does, please share!
I JUST WANT TO SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS..."ER FAIL ER FAIL ER FAIL ER FAIL...TAKEYOURPEANDSHOVEITUPYOURERFAIL!"
I also want to shout from the rooftops... "fuck you hoe, you got UGLY, take your Brazilian boyfriend and run into a wall repeatedly."
While were at it... "WOWWOWWOWWOWWOWWOW...WOW YOU ARE A lowlowlowlow for fucking me over, but it's whatevs."
I guess I'll continue with... "I want to push you and your saggy boo bees into a fast moving train!"
*sigh* I feel much better now that I've expressed some choice words to the people who have recently crossed my mind! Oh! I almost forgot akifhy...kthx
WOW, this post is so full of hate, it's kind of fun... actually, hate is a strong word and I'm trying my hardest not to use it but I can't help it.
ON TO fun times! I have peed like 22 times today...and no, I'm not pregnant, but some higher being out there is hatin' on me. Bitches. FUCK, I am gangster today. I'm going to read this blog post one day and call myself a fucked up individual... no shame.
Ummm... so yea, is it just me, or does anyone else feel like they're 13 again? Seriously, I'm like "omfg bbg, did you see that guy..umm HOT!" Every two seconds, my brain resorts to boys... err.. men, guys? LADS!!! It's ridiculous, I think I need to be spade and neutered. It has been like.. 6 years since I've given any indication to the opposite sex, so I don't know if my obsession is healthy or somewhat questionable...hmmm *ponders*
Bitches be addin' me on skype that I don't know... STOP IT...
Also, TwiCon craziness needs to fucking end NOW! Maybe it's because I have so much other shit going on in my life, but I just don't see the need to go mental... Yes, I'm excited as shit, but it's not worth being "upset" and "pissed off." I'm just letting the cards fall where they may. If they want 40 bucks from me for a photo with the cast member, while either I'm going to hand the money over and be merry, orrrrrr, not pay the money and deal!
Sam saw a spidurrrr, a motherfucking TARANTULA to be exact...and no, not through a glass wall, it was just chillin' in front of her... crazy, WHY oh WHY am I going to Texas... snakes and spiders, that is so not my forte. I need snow, polar bears and poutine. =( I asked Sam if she ate the spider legs after she told me that they squished it with a broom...first of all... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SQUISH A TARANTULA WITH A BROOM???? Riddle me that.
I love Scotland but WHO THE FUCK INVENTED HAGGIS? I'm not going to judge...no wait, I am, I can't help it...okay, I'm not going to judge HARSHLY, but when I googled that shit, I did NOT like what I saw.
I'm going to end this on a good note since I don't think any of this blog was good and now it's time for me to pack up and go home!
I like the fact that the people that I've met through TwiCon, the ones who I make an effort to speak to, the ones that I call my FRIENDS, are people that I know will always be part of my life. They're not my "bestie" (please, that shit is fucking lame), they're not my internet friends or my "crew." They're the people that don't need titles, that don't need reassurance. They know who they are and where they stand with me. We don't need labels and repetitive LOLZ to have things to talk about.
I FUCKING LOVE THEM. endofstory
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